Girl on the Net

Sex blogger, audio porn producer, collection of atoms and stories.

Please do not send me private messages.

Https://www.girlonthenet.com 
https://www.patreon.com/girlonthenet

Public Key

npub17ww0gk7qzhktp53wu0saydwmz9806qxzn6l9a8s5w9mt8lclfmgqq20ws5

NIP-05 Address

girlonthenet@mastodon-social.mostr.pub

Profile Code

nprofile1qqs08885t0qptm9s6ghw8cwjxhd3znhaqrpfa0j7nc28za4nlu05a5qpz4mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuerfw36x7tnsw43qz9thwden5te0wfjkccte9ekk7um5wgh8qatzfdpsd2

Publishing to

relay.ditto.pub

relay.mostr.pub

Author Public Key

npub17ww0gk7qzhktp53wu0saydwmz9806qxzn6l9a8s5w9mt8lclfmgqq20ws5

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Last Notes

2026-10-28 16:21:48 UTC

Them: Can you do this?
Me: Yes, but not for at least a few months.
Them: OK.
Them (2 weeks later): Any update on when you're gonna do this?
Me: In at least a few months.
Them: Really want to align on getting this done in the next few weeks.
Me: Well that is a shame because it will take at least a few months.
[Boundaries: I am having them!]

2026-10-21 12:10:02 UTC

Dot social has now hidden the 'add content note' option behind a tiny settings button on the web interface, where before it was prominent and included by default on every post. I think this is a giant mistake and am very very annoyed.

2026-10-19 19:09:10 UTC

The first line of a blog post is not as important as you think.
https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/first-line-the-final-line/

2026-10-09 10:59:30 UTC

OK Masto, I am genuinely asking for advice. Is there something easy/quick I can change within CloudFlare that will stop my site giving 502s every time I post a new link on here?
I am set up to deal with big traffic and these are not even massive spikes. I can't change platforms/hosts or do any major work right now (no money). But is there a simple fix? Pretty sure CF used to cache everything so this didn't happen(?), I don't know what's changed.
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/117/410/591/727/583/919/original/90b9a438d0fc7c90.png

2026-10-05 11:40:37 UTC

People who are staying at their lover's homes that evening. People who've been shopping on their lunch break and turned them on to test. People whose devices don't have travel locks, so sometimes turn on by accident. People whose bluetooth devices are none of your fucking business.
#nevent1q…dqrr

2026-10-01 17:57:32 UTC

‘if I were there in that room, I’d have stopped it.’
‘if I were there in that group chat, I’d have said something.’
You're here now. What are you doing?
A blog post about Cornell.
https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/cornell/

2026-09-27 19:55:50 UTC

Re-listening to Ade Edmondson's autobiography on audiobook, and I love this so much I bothered to type it out so you could all enjoy it too.
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/117/344/759/600/591/742/original/27dcf3fdd2f2a160.png

2026-09-26 18:39:56 UTC

Don’t private message me out of the blue to talk about your boner. I don’t know you, it’s creepy.
It’s not just an annoyance, it makes me feel like absolute shit and can properly ruin my day. To be so disrespected, to have my time and peace valued so cheaply... makes me feel worthless tbh.
It might feel low-stakes & cheeky to you - ‘where’s the harm in trying, eh?’ - but it is actually pretty harmful to me.

2026-09-05 10:13:47 UTC

I am so shocked.
https://www.techdirt.com/2026/09/03/hackers-had-a-live-feed-of-every-id-this-verification-company-scanned-for-over-a-year/

2026-08-27 18:40:07 UTC

Golden rule of social media: if you reply to one of my jokes with a YouTube link, I am never ever watching it.

2026-08-18 12:28:36 UTC

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@nprofile…np2h I did 😉

2026-08-18 12:25:46 UTC

Happy Tuesday to everyone except the guy on my very crowded commuter train this morning who had reserved a special precious seat for his... small pot of yoghurt and granola.

2026-08-07 11:51:31 UTC

"Having sex now, I feel marvellously present in myself, and present with her."
I'm always honoured that people share such personal stories on my blog, and this week's guest is especially tender and beautiful <3
Sex and healing after #vaginoplasty
https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/newly-becunted-sex-healing-after-vaginoplasty/

2026-07-29 14:35:38 UTC

I was meant to do something today at a very specific time. I turned up at that specific time and the people were like 'oh no sorry, can't do today - come back tomorrow?' but like... THEY had arranged the time and THEY had told me when to come, and then when I arrived they acted like I was being weird.
I find this really distressing. Like... why not just text me or call me and tell me you need to change the time? Two hours on hot buses which I could have spent working =(

2026-07-20 20:32:04 UTC

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The problem is not 'offense', it is 'harm'.
If the word 'cisgender' was genuinely harmful to people, then I would reconsider using it. But it isn't harmful, it's a neat and simple way to explain what I mean when I talk about my own body and gender identity.
https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/offence-is-not-taken-assigned/

2026-07-20 20:30:10 UTC

Right-wing people always think that 'offensive' is what we care about. As if 'offensive' is some magic word to get us to stop doing whatever it is that's pissing them off.
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/116/954/186/691/476/640/original/765b8120dd5251de.png

2026-07-05 10:45:35 UTC

NEW blog - I wrote a summer style guide for men.
Three words: slutty little shorts.
https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/sluttiest-looks-men/
Beautiful men in shorts by @nprofile…qskx
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/116/866/947/782/452/391/original/344bea9dfd7b0998.jpeg

2026-06-26 17:08:05 UTC

Thanks for the offer, but this will definitely get me punched.
https://closca.com/en-gb/products/loop-lab-civic

2026-06-24 14:29:05 UTC

People, I am begging you, if you have air con in your flat please PUT IT ON YOUR DATING PROFILE.

2026-06-24 11:00:08 UTC

Once a year, when it gets too hot, I have* to repost this.
Today is obviously that day.
CN: I did actually fuck the ice lolly.
https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/ice-lolly-in-my-vagina/
*want

2026-06-17 11:58:43 UTC

Yet another reason to give blood: the man at the donor centre just told me my iron levels were ‘perfect’ - I’ve been having a bad few days so the validation of this was exactly what I needed. Yes, I am pathetic and worthless.
BUT at least my iron levels are perfect so maybe someone else can use some of my iron-y blood.
Https://www.blood.co.uk

2026-06-14 08:20:18 UTC

"For a long time, I think I might be asexual. I simply never associate the idea that for now, in my head, sex has been broken"
Incredible guest blog from this time in '24 https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/have-sex-after-a-rape/

2026-06-12 09:53:10 UTC

Tempted to share this with the relative who snort-laughed at me when I told him the ULEZ would result in fewer deaths in the city because 'hardly anyone dies in traffic accidents these days' 🙄
https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2026/jun/12/emergency-hospital-admissions-reduced-london-t-charge-ulez-air-quality *it is not about traffic accidents

2026-05-31 07:07:01 UTC

Today’s NEW blog! One weird trick to guarantee EVERYONE a better sex life:
https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/one-simple-trick-better-sex-life/
Shameless clickbait for my even more shameless lefty propaganda.
Ingenious art by @nprofile…qskx
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/116/667/921/166/711/413/original/7e3b383128ac7284.jpeg

2026-05-27 22:06:43 UTC

Tea drinkers: why do you do this? What is the point? Teabags left on spoons, on draining boards, on the side of plates... what is the purpose?
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/116/648/809/525/065/809/original/ad77724805f77802.jpeg

2026-05-09 18:00:40 UTC

CREATIVES: the correct answer to 'please invoice me' is 'OK'. Stop trying to not get paid. I like paying people for their work, it brings me joy. Do not talk yourself out of fees because you enjoyed the work. Take the fee AND the fun, you deserve both.

2026-05-07 16:30:04 UTC

The quickest way to piss me off in 2026 is to make me have to say 'no' more than once.

2026-05-04 13:07:28 UTC

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@nprofile…hvrq @nprofile…65q8 finally someone on this website talking sense

2026-05-04 12:58:03 UTC

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@nprofile…65q8 I've known you were a wrong 'un ever since your Crossrail opinion, Neil. I shall not be taking your advice on wraps.

2026-05-04 12:42:01 UTC

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Going away reminds me how much I love about home. My lovely flat! My friends! The pub! My snake! Sitting down at an actual desk to write! The gym! Being an expert on all the public transport and not having to keep checking maps! Cheese and coleslaw wraps! Overnight oats! My beloved Doxy!

2026-05-04 12:39:10 UTC

Fresh food! My own bed! Walking down the street without sunglasses! Feeling a bit chilly in a t-shirt! Hearing ten different languages and smelling four kinds of weed on my brief walk to the supermarket! I am SO BACK, BABY!

2026-05-01 09:39:27 UTC

I’m gonna try this today and if it doesn’t taste like unicorn jizz I’ll be so disappointed.
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/116/498/650/031/756/466/original/43517643795b6b27.jpeg

2026-04-30 12:21:07 UTC

1300 miles
2100 kilometres
39 days
7 countries
32 towns/cities
1 new bike wheel
An uncountable number of sugar waffles & steins of beer
I cycled to Budapest!
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/116/493/615/742/867/930/original/3455644afb099879.jpeg

2026-04-28 06:23:56 UTC

3 days to go and I’m crawling now. Around 30 miles per day which is comparatively little compared to the longer runs I’ve done, but yesterday I had to push my bike about 2 miles because the surface was so stony. I am very tired and very satisfied and very keen to sleep in the same bed for more than one night at a time.
Anyway to brighten your Tuesday here’s a gay bench in Linz. I sat on it for ages but sadly no hot ladies came and kissed me. Probably for the best, I was very sweaty.
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/116/480/888/672/119/307/original/85418effacfe949a.jpeg

2026-04-27 13:24:08 UTC

Me: I can’t wait to see you. I’m going to touch your penis SO many times.
Him: not if it touches you first!

2026-04-21 19:05:42 UTC

Never ever do this, Jesus Christ.
Signed, a woman who travels alone and is terrified of anyone coming into her hotel room.
RE: https://mastodon.social/@fesshole/116444076830311982

2026-04-19 18:18:34 UTC

"I would love to find someone who doesn’t think that ‘a lot’ is ‘too much’ – who loves how *much* I am, and sees that as incredible value for money."
NEW blog post: I want to be loved.
https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/i-want-to-be-loved/
Gorgeous art by @nprofile…qskx
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/116/432/746/163/212/343/original/96f77ce4642deb1c.png

2026-04-17 18:34:33 UTC

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@nprofile…65q8 *recategorises everything as 'a lad' so the answer is not 'sadly, zero'*

2026-04-17 18:30:00 UTC

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@nprofile…65q8 top punning, never put the brakes on that sort of stuff.
And yes, pogo stick mostly but I thought I'd mix it up with one of these inflatable bouncy lads for part of the way.
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/116/421/464/643/114/651/original/27d884ee608f88c7.png

2026-04-17 17:36:11 UTC

I just hit 900 miles. In 26 days. Today was my first day where I did over 100 km (roughly 115km - around 71 miles in total).
Turns out I am BADASS.

2026-04-17 07:30:34 UTC

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@nprofile…65q8 SO much better thanks! I’ll try and post some pics when I’m done with todays ride because I think the nerds of Mastodon will enjoy them!!

2026-04-15 11:45:05 UTC

"I’ll never forget a man coming into my cam room in 2020 and writing, ‘I know you’."
#ICYMI yesterday's guest blog by Kate O'Kelly, on how cam performers are being outed with AI facial recognition.
https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/ai-online-sex-work-dangerous/

2026-04-14 18:52:59 UTC

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@nprofile…65q8 cow chocolate! The best chocolate
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/116/404/566/003/906/794/original/8e014b7bfc1e0d1c.jpeg

2026-04-14 18:23:42 UTC

Today was hard. The track was atrocious, I came off my bike, and two different men saw me having a weeping meltdown.
BUT tomorrow my friend is coming to join me 😍and tonight I have wine, cow chocolate, and AN ACTUAL BATH!
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/116/404/452/323/217/826/original/1ff90e9a0610bb9c.jpeg

2026-04-12 16:26:52 UTC

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@nprofile…65q8 that is true. And I am still on balance very very pleased to be doing this. Just that today was a hard day. Tomorrow will be better!

2026-04-12 16:17:33 UTC

Well over 700 miles now and a quick update on my feelings about cycling: I fucking hate it.

2026-04-09 18:36:01 UTC

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@nprofile…65q8 comprehensive. This is one of many things I admire about you Neil, you are rigorous.

2026-04-09 15:39:18 UTC

The last thing I wanted to do today was get back in the saddle, but I made myself leave early and ordered myself to take breaks.
Anyway I ended up having a little paddle in the river and a fucking lovely day.
Moral of the story: I should stop being such a fucking pussy and just get on with it. Or something.
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/116/375/491/687/478/192/original/d8def0ebe05720f1.png

2026-04-09 06:35:36 UTC

I have done many badass things in the last couple of weeks but I would absolutely love a big hug right now and for someone to do all the hard bits for me, just for today.

2026-04-07 12:53:58 UTC

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@nprofile…z8u4 you win the prize for the most bizarre unsolicited advice I have ever had

2026-04-07 12:36:23 UTC

Spoke too soon about loving this city - now I’m trapped in it while my bike gets fixed. It was more fucked than I thought, so I’m very proud of it for getting me this far. Means my journey today will mostly be done in the dark. I am consoling myself by eating a ludicrously beautiful tiny cake.

2026-04-06 18:20:39 UTC

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@nprofile…65q8 is this you? You look badass!

2026-04-06 07:14:42 UTC

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@nprofile…65q8 I totally get it and fwiw I think you do an excellent balance- sharing the less overtly porny ones that aren’t jarring from your work/legal perspective etc.

2026-04-05 19:32:53 UTC

If you ever get sick of me banging on about my life and think 'ugh I wish she would stick to the porn' then please know: hardly anyone ever boosts the fucken porn.

2026-04-05 16:29:39 UTC

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@nprofile…65q8 Thank you! I am genuinely pretty proud! Looking at it on a map is properly weird.

2026-04-05 16:25:41 UTC

Mileage total of this trip so far: 517
Feel free to sing The Proclaimers in your head.

2026-04-03 19:26:35 UTC

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@nprofile…65q8 and my language skills are so bad here that basically all I have is the stripes!

2026-04-03 19:23:23 UTC

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@nprofile…65q8 hahaha that’s clearly it. He likes my zebra stripes.

2026-04-03 19:21:34 UTC

The 25 year old receptionist here has made a few flirty comments, and when I returned from dinner he literally winked at me. No. No no no.
There is a very weird feeling I get now I’m in my 40s, that I can best describe as “this young man is flirting with me, somebody put him to bed.”

2026-04-02 16:34:18 UTC

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@nprofile…65q8 Haha yes. Definitely not one for more than about five miles. The five-mile flap-friction fault.

2026-04-02 16:29:59 UTC

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@nprofile…65q8 maybe at the London Naked Bike Ride one year if I am ever brave enough.

2026-04-02 16:27:48 UTC

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@nprofile…65q8 PS I hope it heals, and if it's still sore and you want recommendations for what to put on it let me know 😂

2026-04-02 16:27:14 UTC

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@nprofile…65q8 oh god yeah seams are the WORST. Most of my cycle leggings have very minimal seamage, but my cargo shorts which I prefer in the sun have seams and thus I am probably going to jettison them at some point on my trip. Would probably be easier to ride naked. But I'm not going to check this.

2026-04-02 16:21:37 UTC

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@nprofile…65q8 ohh nice. Can't beat a cycle beside a river <3

2026-04-02 16:13:40 UTC

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@nprofile…65q8 also you have reduced your work driving miles to ZERO so far in 2026?? Incredible.

2026-04-02 16:13:00 UTC

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@nprofile…65q8 this is VERY COOL and naturally I now wish I was keeping track of my miles per year on a bike.

2026-04-01 20:44:01 UTC

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@nprofile…65q8 thank yoooou!

2026-04-01 20:38:47 UTC

OOOH good question. On the post I wrote the other day about how I'm not embarrassed to talk about sex, someone asked (I paraphrase), 'why the anonymity?'
I think it's a good question so here's my answer:
https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/embarrassed-talk-about-sex/#comment-1103356

2026-04-01 16:32:33 UTC

Of all the things I do not want to do, doing my laundry in a strange basement room with coin op machines that have instructions in a language I don’t understand... is the thing I want to do least.

2026-03-29 12:46:33 UTC

Eternal dilemma: if I do something cool in the Real World but forget to brag about it on the internet, did it even really happen at all?

2026-03-28 17:16:02 UTC

Legs legs legs legs. These rode over 200 miles in the last 5 days. I am proud of them. Well done legs.
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/116/307/926/376/242/986/original/7cafdc8496d113c7.jpeg

2026-03-27 08:01:15 UTC

Quote from Children of Strife - in one sentence @nprofile…jrp7 nails why Musk and other billionaires are so excited to go to Mars.
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/116/300/082/389/683/737/original/8640d9a3573f1ce6.jpeg

2026-03-25 18:52:56 UTC

Came all this way, but found the love of my life so totally worth it.
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/116/291/320/220/084/258/original/2ec6462bb97b27e6.jpeg

2026-03-19 10:22:19 UTC

Want to feel old? "Girl" on the Net is now 42.
Feel free to shower me with gifts in the form of Patreon subs to support the audio project.
https://www.patreon.com/girlonthenet
https://www.patreon.com/girlonthenet

2026-03-01 10:01:53 UTC

This should be illegal.
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/116/153/335/869/299/669/original/1fb6d94ca6057dc1.jpeg

2026-02-26 21:54:03 UTC

“Use this to guide me on pressure – if you need me to be firmer, squeeze my arm.”
Archive #AudioPorn that features one of my best tips on giving/getting feedback...
https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/sensitivity-training-sexual-feedback/ #SexTips

2026-02-26 14:56:29 UTC

Shoutout to today's MVP:
Task I Had Been Putting Off For 3 Months That Turned Out To Only Take 20 Minutes.

2026-02-23 20:46:17 UTC

I love his body because of the person inside it, and that love is not measured in units of mass, like butter or moon rocks or the luggage you pay extra for on Ryanair.
https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/my-body-loves-your-body/ Yesterday's blog, with stunning art from @nprofile…qskx

2026-02-20 20:37:35 UTC

Gentle reminder: I (and my amazing guest writers/readers/illustrators) can only keep doing what we do if the site continues to get traffic. That means if you like it, share it. Especially the guest blogs and audio. 'Likes' don't help, please share.

2026-02-19 22:25:48 UTC

When YouTube says 'this is not available in your country' it should also list the countries where it *is* available, so I know which one to set my VPN to.

2026-02-10 20:37:16 UTC

Him: you taught me that sex can be fun.
Me: what did you think it was before?
Him: ‘just something you do’
😍

2026-02-07 14:43:03 UTC

The place we’re staying is lovely, but apparently I’m not allowed to write “forgive us the depraved sins we committed here” in the visitors book.

2026-02-04 14:28:18 UTC

A customer service rep just signed off their message to me with this and it made me want to pull my own eyeballs out.
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/116/012/828/366/753/901/original/53dc11f8e8333f31.png

2026-02-02 21:20:39 UTC

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@nprofile…qjyt this is legitimately the first cryptic crossword clue I have ever solved 😎

2025-12-26 18:51:03 UTC

This basically never happens, but today my Dad told me a story about when I was little.
He used to read to me from Winnie the Pooh, and he’d do SUCH good voices. His Piglet was truly world class.
Today he was talking about it and saying he remembered asking me why I closed my eyes while he was reading, instead of looking at the illustrations. And apparently I replied:
“The pictures in my head are always better.”

2025-12-21 19:46:49 UTC

I am far more terrified of wasting precious years than I am of being alone.
NEW blog: Do the thing. Do it scared. Do it on your own.
https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/do-it-on-your-own/
Gorgeous art by @nprofile…29dr ❤️
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/115/759/278/256/296/092/original/f8609bbb1b767779.png

2025-12-20 08:41:19 UTC

"My guy still sat there and watched but now he had a look of desire in his eyes too."
Stunning festive #AudioPorn from this time last year by Sherryl Blu!
https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/cuck-under-the-mistletoe/

2025-12-15 09:17:15 UTC

"Sometimes I still feel like part of my body belongs to him."
This time last year.
https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/point-your-toes-fucked-me-owned-me/

2025-12-13 17:08:18 UTC

You can subscribe for email alerts when I publish new blogs here:
https://girlonthenet.pageshub.io/lp/subscribe.html
It's ugly, but I refuse to do pop up forms because I'm old school and they irritate me.
First one will go out tomorrow, if I've set it up right.

2025-12-12 10:07:16 UTC

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One of the things that made me fall in love with London was a visit to Sainsbury's in Whitechapel a couple of weeks after I'd arrived. I always swore I'd leave London quickly - it was dirty and smelly and busy and stressful. But I grew to love it pretty quickly, not least because when you have so many people in one place, people suddenly become endlessly fascinating.
Anyway. Sainsbury's.
A lad was scanning a lady's shopping through the checkout, got to the end and asked her something. 🧵

2025-12-12 10:05:37 UTC

I see racists are doing "did you know X% of kids in Glasgow/London/Birmingham don't have English as a first language!?" bullshit again.
BILINGUAL. The word you're looking for to smack them down is 'bilingual'. Most children who 'don't have English as a first language' have two languages. Sometimes more! Why do you hate this? It's fucking beautiful!

2025-12-08 13:29:45 UTC

Pls admire the most #London photo I’ve ever taken.
Fox waiting for the last train.
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/115/684/184/890/855/421/original/f897c3a4fd858cb0.jpeg

2025-12-03 11:21:43 UTC

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@nprofile…x33s and then to email me about it like "Great news! We've made this available on our platform!"

2025-12-03 11:08:31 UTC

Jesus fucking Christ - a company ripped off the entire content of my Patreon call the other day and just republished it online. This literally includes video in which I show people around my bedroom, very personal stories about my life, and contributions from others that are private as well.
I am fucking incensed??? I have sent a DMCA takedown, but what in the world makes them think it's acceptable to rip this content off under the guise of 'promoting' me. LIVID.

2025-11-30 12:00:03 UTC

NEW blog: Please do not ever 'settle' for me
https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/please-dont-settle-for-me/
With apologies and thanks to Doctor Nerdlove, who said I could have a go at explaining this.
And big thanks to @nprofile…29dr as always for this amazing image.
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/115/638/530/992/490/486/original/9529c8346dfd2c2c.png

2025-11-25 16:27:58 UTC

All I wanted ❤️
https://xkcd.com/3172/

2025-11-18 21:11:08 UTC

"I’d feel like a fraud if I told you it was these nipple clamps alone that made me come: credit for that goes to the guy who used them on me."
https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/cute-nipple-pegs/
This time in '22...

2025-11-16 23:00:08 UTC

Huge news for fans of the greatest philosophical sci fi series of all time. This is coming March 26th.
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/115/561/848/313/143/442/original/8d60a31b98ce0a57.jpeg

2025-11-13 19:48:53 UTC

"His hot breath against her skin, and his hand busy pinching one of her nipples stirred something in Juniper that hadn’t awoken before."
NEW guest blog by Adeline Panamaroff - a hot encounter with a semi-stranger in the back row of a Star Trek screening...
https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/humiliated-star-trek-screening/

2025-11-10 10:23:02 UTC

This weekend a boy introduced me to a fun way of paying for dates: gambling.
If the bill ends in an odd number, he pays. Even number, I pay.
(He paid. It was thrilling)