:neuro: Pixy's Journey :nonbinary_heart:

Howdy, I'm Cynni Pixy (nicknames obviously). I've got several other accounts, but lately I've been focusing on sharing all of my journey through life on this account. :blobcatenby:

Located in the Netherlands 🇳🇱

https://justmytoots.com/@PixysJourney@beige.party

Public Key

npub1wfr3e5p2c4selt8x6jrpy2ukepts0gks08gy3qrm3wg0cem2hq7s6z90v9

NIP-05 Address

PixysJourney@beige-party.mostr.pub

Profile Code

nprofile1qqs8y3cu6q4v2cvl4nndfpsj9wtvs4c85tg8n5zgspachy8uva4ts0gpz4mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuerfw36x7tnsw43qzrmhwden5te0dehhxarj9ekk7mgglf0ht

Publishing to

relay.ditto.pub

nostr.mom

nos.lol

Author Public Key

npub1wfr3e5p2c4selt8x6jrpy2ukepts0gks08gy3qrm3wg0cem2hq7s6z90v9

Show more details

Last Notes

2026-10-29 03:45:16 UTC

:kirby_prideheart: Ello sweet and lovely Friendos :purple_heart_sparkle:
:blobcatthinkingglare: I wonder what had Koa so spooked a little while ago...
I wanted to take him for our usual walkies. We got to the parking and grassy field behind our house, when Koa acted like there was something there. I had my head lamp on, and I could not see anything out of the ordinary. Granted, I wasn't able to check everything properly, as Koa was so freaked out, but no strange noises, no "glowing eyes", reflecting in the led light...
I think there must have been an animal of some kind there. Or maybe there he'd already left when he heard us, but the smell still lingered... Koa has been startled before by a huge hare when he was still smaller. He's been jumpy several times when birds in trees started to flap their wings as dhey were startled by us walking during the nightly hours. But Koa was so worried and wired...
He barked and growled a few times, and then quickly wanted to head back home...
He's need lying in front of the couch since then, not even wanting to go out again, even though he hasn't gone potty the last time.
It's almost time to fix him his meal. When that's settled, I'll try another walk with him... But yeah, I am rather curious to what Koa smelled/heard/saw, that made him so anxious, that he immediately wanted to head back while growling and barking some. 🤔
Let's see if I can write a bit more on my Tuesday's journal Toot before I'll fix Koa his meal.
:pixy_party: 🫂 🩵 💜 🩷 🐾 :dogeparrot:
#PixysJourney
#KoaKoolani
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/117/522/138/094/424/750/original/36adbdac5b1ba462.jpg

2026-10-28 05:17:21 UTC

:kirby_prideheart: Ello sweet and lovely Friendos :purple_heart_sparkle:
Hope you're all doing well folks! It's been going up and down here. Some days, I manage some chores and all. Other days, I just can't find the motivation for the simple things. 😔
The last hour, I've been thinking that I should finish Mondays journal Toot, and work on yesterday's one. But I've not even written one word. My head is just too bläh to focus on it. 😔
I even had to interrupt writing this short Toot, as I almost forgot to put the grey bin to the street...
I really want to get back on track, and I hope that my head and body will soon adapt to that and start cooperating...
Again, I hope you're all doing well sweet Friendos! I miss chatting with you... 😢
:pixy_party: 🫂 🩵 💜 🩷 🐾 :dogeparrot:
#PixysJourney

2026-10-18 05:49:10 UTC

#Journal of an emotional Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Friday, 16/10/2026).
I had a decent enough sleep, but I felt a bit sad and hopeless. I had gotten a reply that the trainer I contacted wasn't able to help us. But she referred us to someone else, and looked her up. I saw the prices, and got a bit desperate. But still, I had to do something. So I wrote a long email to the recommended trainer, and then hoped for the best. But the email had made me very emotional. Thinking about all the things we're currently struggling with, and also about all the things that could go bad if we weren't able to make things better again.
I wrote my friend an email, and then Koa and I went for walkies. I was so sad and felt like such a disappointment. I had been failing Koa, not being able to support him in the way he needs. He is struggling so much with being along, and I felt like my approach was not helping him at all. I had to admit that I was a failure. And I set up a new GoFundMe, hoping people would be willing and able to help me in my time of defeat. I went into a spiral, and before I knew it, I was already getting visions of having to rehome Koa, which made me really feel terribly depressed. The tears just kept coming, and I struggled to really focus on things.
I managed to finish Wednesday's journal Toot, and then I just tried to relax for a while. Walkies with Koa, and then I fixed him some food. I had run out of yogurt, so I could not fix my usual brekkie. I snacked a little bit, watched some more telly, cried some more. After some time, I decided to make myself a meal, before Koa and I needed to get out again. I had to try and save a bit of energy, with the late appointments at the hospital.
Koa and I did our things, and when it was time to get ready to leave, we had packed Skoosh with all the bits and bops. Koa's old crate just fit behind the chairs, so I could take that to my parents as well. Koa and I left a little earlier, so we could go to Schaijk first to pick up my meds. Then, onward to Nijmegen. The roads were a bit busier already, it being a Friday and a day where schools were ending, and a week of free time was starting.
We arrived safe and sound, and I was able to park on the neighbor's driveway. All the things were taken from Skoosh, and last but not least, Koa was freed as well. I greeted mum and Bas, and while Koa kept mum and Bas busy, I managed to get all the things into the house. By the time I had set up the crate, I was sweating 🥵 quite a bit. When mum was done, she and I took the boys for a little walk. When I saw it was time for me to leave, I put Koa in the crate with a snack. Of course Bas got a snack as well. Mum was going to feed Koa while I was out.
When I got to the car, I realized that my parent's clocks were even further ahead than usual... So I arrived at the hospital too early. I was allowed to borrow mum's parking card, and where were a fee available spots, so I didn't feel too bad using one. It meant easier parking, and no extra costs, so it was a plus. Especially since my right leg was bothering me some, it was nice to be closer to the hospital. Although I still took the stairs upstairs. 😊
After a bit of a wait, I had therapy first. Then some more waiting, until the chat with the rehabilitation doc. Unfortunately, part of the issues I am still experiencing, are due to my scar being "adhesive". So I really have to get at the massages now, because the scar needs to come loose again. It will be more painful until it gets less painful, or so they tell me...
I headed back to Skoosh again, texting mum I was coming their way. And... Mum had everything ready for me, so it could all go in Skoosh. The crate would stay with them, so that was good. The drive back was annoying, as the SUV asshats were going their thing again while storming into the traffic jam way too fast, breaking hard and pushing themselves in the line of traffic. Although, some people in the line were like me... One goes in front, the next goes behind. When one asshat tried to push in, I was not having it... He made things dangerous, and I still don't understand that mindset at all! Because when I got to my exit, and I headed to the traffic 🚦 lights, the one in front of me... Was the asshat that was pushing around everywhere to "get going". 🤔
We got home, I unpacked Skoosh, and then walked a short walk with Koa. But he wasn't interested, he wanted to head home. I had a little snack, and then we prepared everything to get to bed. Both Koa and I were tired, so I was hoping to get a good night in. But yeah... Koa was restless. And my brain was going nuts, no matter what I tried. 😔 I slept about 4½ hours and then we got up. I was rather tired, but I felt better out of bed than in it. So, Koa and I started our "day" together a little earlier than I'd hoped.
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
#PixysJourney
#WeirdFolks
#ActuallyAuDHD
#KoaKoolani
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/117/460/339/884/877/130/original/3a7fc9ceb0330733.jpg

2026-10-15 01:23:16 UTC

:kirby_prideheart: Ello sweet and lovely Friendos :purple_heart_sparkle:
Well... I've just done it... 😢 :bb: :paw:
I've contacted a doggy trainer for help with Koa. I don't think I'll be able to help him on my own. 😔 I just don't have the experience. And internet is nice, but it's not specific to Koa's situation.
There will be costs... 🪎 I've explained my situation, our situation, and asked for her advice. What would be best for Koa, and what would the estimated costs be...
I will probably have to start a GoFundMe, or at least start a mutual aid post with my PayPal attached to it... I just got Koa the safer crate, so my funds are at a real low now. 😭
I hate begging 🥺 for help! But I need Koa to learn to be OK on his own. Both for Koa's health, and for mine... I need to be able to visit physio, the gym, the supermarket... I can't always ask people to care for Koa when I want to go out. I *need* to take action.
But I need help. Professional help. Personal help. And that help needs to pay their bills as well...
I have to wait and see... Hope that the trainer I found may be able to help me, to help us. And then hope I can find a way to gather the money to pay their fees.
I wish I had more experience with this. Arwen and Chance prepared me for many things. But I now realize how lucky I was with Arwen... She really made my life better in so many ways.
Nothing against Koa! He can't help his personality and what his hormones are doing with/to him. But yeah... While I struggle with Koa, I have to admit that I miss Arwen at those times... 😢
So, I'll probably send out a big help/aid Toot very soon... I hate to beg! But I need to get Koa and myself some help ASAP. I'm feeling like shit right now, captured by the sweet dude, always having to bother others to be with Koa when I can't take him... 😔
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 🫂 🩵 💜 🩷 🐾 :dogeparrot:
#PixysJourney
#KoaKoolani
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/117/442/307/409/398/013/original/488d01f5eaa02e0d.mp4

2026-09-30 02:57:59 UTC

#Journal of a Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: in meltdown mode (Tuesday, 29/09/2026).
The “day” had started with a slight headache, a sore lower back, and about 7 hours of sleep in total. It wasn’t too bad, overall, and Koa and I had begun with our usual routine. I fixed him his meal, took my meds, he went out for his business, and we got to the couch. Well, I got on it, and Koa found one of his chewies, and got all busy on it.
I took out my laptop, and after an update of Tutamail, I was able to start my reply to my sweet friend. I was almost done when Koa got impatient, so I wrapped it up, got dressed, and headed out with the dude. We made our usual round. When we got back, I fixed myself some brekkie and ate it. Then, as I had already finished today's blog post yesterday, I was able to start writing my journal Toot.
I was able to finish Monday's Toot, before Koa was eager for walkies again. So we went out again, as his master's wishes are my commands. 😉 I uploaded my journal to the usual places when we got back. After that, it was time to fix the dude some food. I put away the laptop and tried to relax with some Rizzoli & Isles. I used my phone to try and finish up on some of the AI alt texts I had been working on for my screengrab pictures. After some time, I had enough of it for a bit, and I decided to fix myself some food.
When I was done eating, I had hoped for some more relaxing time. But, yeah, of course Koa wanted to head out again. As it was still dark, we went for a short walk again. I tried to relax a bit after that, and I felt good about having been able to finish up some of the typing things, and several of the alt texts, before the morning had really started. Being able to type a bit better makes such a difference. 😊 I was hoping to be able to be ready when mum was coming over. Part of me was a bit anxious, and maybe a little bit excited, with the prospect of trying to drive my white 🤍 gall (well, she would be white if I would give her a proper shower 🚿) again.
Mum texted that she was on her way, so I did my best to prepare for her. I cleaned up some things here and there. And I remembered to try and clean Koa's bowls, as they're still a bit challenging with my hands. I had put together all the recycling ♻️ bottles and cans, so mum could take them with her to Germany to get them refunded. I still feel a bit bad for letting mum deal with all of that, hopefully soon I can join her again... But at least I've been drinking more from bigger bottles and less from cans, so that should make it easier for mum to put them all in the refund-machine. Depending on how things go, I'll add the refunds in Koa's piggy bank 🪎 for the vet or other costs that need to be covered. I used to use the bottles and cans money for Arwen's funds, then they went into the puppy jar, and now Arwen's saving tin became Koa's... Passing it on from one great dog to the next.
Anywhoooo... 😇 When mum arrived, I tried to keep Koa calm until she had a steady spot. We keep trying to train Koa to keep "low", or "laag" in Dutch, which means he needs to be on all fours in order to get pets/cuddles/attention. He's getting a tiny bit better, at times, but he's always so enthusiastic when (friendly) people come to visit! 🥰 Mum had not finished her coffee yet, when Koa started to get very restless. We decided to go out for some walkies first, which was what Koa needed. Two big pees and a poop later, we were back, and mum was able to finish her coffee. ☕
We got ready to head to Cuijk. The plan was for me to drive. First to Lidl so I could get some groceries. Then the physio. And on the way back a pit-stop at Plus for some more groceries, and to pick up the DHL parcel from the vault thingie. It was the new headlamp, which would be very welcome for our walkies in the dark. We loaded up Skoosh, we got in, I pressed the start button and... Only half the bits booted up. There was a weird sound and things were slowly fading away... 😢 The battery had not survived not being used for 4½ weeks. 😭 And this... Caused a major (autistic) meltdown. Angry that it didn't work. Anxious of needing to get assistance, and of not being able to use the car. And a bad flashback to a little over two years ago, when I had needed Toyota assistance and it went like crap! (more on that in this part of my journal blog from that week: https://cynnisblog.wordpress.com/2024/07/09/journal-week-27-july-2024/#Thursday).
It took some time for me to get the ranting out of my system. I told mum that last time I'd needed the assistance, it went to hell. Mum recalled that day, as she had helped me that day to pick up Arwen from the way too hot car while we had waited for so long... Mum offered to call, which I was grateful for. So, getting through the AI bot of it all, giving all the necessary information, the bot said we'd be connected to assistance near us within a few seconds. Well, we did get something, but not even a person asking us to hold, it immediately went to the most awful sounding "waiting music". Those things drive me crazy, as they sound so crappy that it hurts my ears. I had woken up with a headache, and the meltdown had not made it any better, so this was just another trigger! Heck, even mum said it was damned awful... It took 6 minutes for someone to finally get on the line. I heard a foreigner's male voice, which immediately triggered my previous experience. Which was so terrible... 🤬
That dude made me repeat myself over and over, and he kept calling me "little missy", and he promised me help which would take an hour to get at my location. I waited for 90 minutes, in a very hot car, with a phone battery going near empty, and with an elderly dog, and no one had come. I called again and was fortunate to get a decent man on the line. And... That "little missy" dude had never contacted the assistance company in my neighborhood. Heck, the street names I had spelled out phonetically three times, they weren't even written down! So yeah... When I heard a voice that reminded me of that scumbag that let me and an elderly dog in the heat of the summer sun... I got triggered.
The man started to ask questions about things he should already have on his screen, as that's what the AI bot was/is for! When he then continued to let us answer everything at least three times, saying he couldn't hear us... TRIGGER! As it was exactly like what happened two years ago! It would not surprise me if it was the same asshole! When I had repeated my address again, and he couldn't hear me again, I raised my voice! Maybe then he could hear me! I had it with the rudeness... It had started with having to spell out the license plate three times. That info should already be on his screen... But, we gave it three times, and that then should have given him all the customer info. He asked the issue. I said that the car had not been used several weeks, and that the battery had died. His reply was a very demeaning one, in a nagging tone, saying "batteries die if you don't use the car, you should know that, it's not good for it". This annoyed me, because I knew this, that's why I said it as the issue and the reason. But instead of just moving onward after I told him the issue (which he was able to hear!), he had to snarl at me first, before asking where the car was located. I told him it was at home, assuming he had that info on his screen (as it's linked to my customer info and license plate). Still, I had to repeat the address three times and then he disconnected...
Even mum was pissed because the way he had talked to us was borderline harassment... 😔 I called the garage where Skoosh was bought and where she's under maintenance. I got a very sweet lady on the line, and she was super helpful. We made a plan, and then I was calm enough to head to physio. We were a bit too early, as I had no energy to visit Lidl first. There was another lady waiting for her appointment. Bas talked to her a bit, and then she told me she’d take my spot, so I could use hers and not have to wait too long. I guess Bas told her about my issues, and wanted to save me some time so I could try to get Skoosh up and running again sooner.
I got a decent massage and then we headed back to Herpen again. I got my parcel and some groceries before we went home. Mum tried to call the service line twice, and could not get through. First, the AI got into an error loop, so she tried again. Then, we were supposed to get connected, and we immediately got thrown out again… So, we called the kind lady at the garage, and told her that we weren’t able to get connected to the assistance folks. She was amazed by how things were messed up today, and then she promised me to get it sorted. She was almost done with lunch and after that, she’d get the help we needed. Within 15 minutes, I received a text that assistance was alerted and would be with me in 60 minutes. The kind lady called me back, and I told her I’d gotten the text. I thanked her again and started the wait. Within 30 minutes my phone rang, and a very kind gentleman told me he was at the parking already. 5 minutes later, Skoosh was up and running again, but… I had to keep her on for at least 30 minutes.
I had thanked the man, gotten Koa on his leash, and we drove to the garage to get some air in Skoosh’s tires. Then, we went to Schaijk to pick up my meds. I tried to take the longer route back, so when we got to the parking, Skoosh had been running for 35 minutes. Hoping that this would indeed be enough, I parked her. I was terribly exhausted, but also still rather wired. I prepared everything for bed. Watched a series first, and then tried to doze off with my book. I managed to get some sleep, but I had very weird dreams, and didn’t feel too rested when I got up again to start our “day”.
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
#PixysJourney
#WeirdFolks
#ActuallyAuDHD
#KoaKoolani

2026-09-24 07:34:04 UTC

#Journal of a bit tired Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Wednesday, 23/09/2026).
After a broken and way too short night, Koa and I got up to start our new “day”. I quickly fixed his food, because he wants to eat first before he goes potty. And for some reason, even though I always let him out between 17-19, depending on when I wake up for my loo break, he doesn’t go potty a lot during the minutes that we spend outside. For some reason, he either things he needs to hold it, or maybe he just wants to go back to the crate as he’ll get some kibble before we try to snooze some more. In the beginning, he went potty while I fixed his meal. But now, even with the door open, he’ll go out but do nothing until after he’s finished his meal. While Koa was eating, I took my meds. Then, I went outside with him, because Koa usually leaves me a smelly prezzie to wrap up and out in the bin.
When Koa was done, we headed to the couch. I got my tablet out, and checked my emails. I saw there was a reply from the crate’s seller. They had put a voucher in my account for about 11% of the amount I had paid for the crate, to reimburse me a bit for the damages. They were still working on the screws. I had not heard back from Trixie, the manufacturer of the crate, as I tried to use their contact form to ask about the missing screws. Would never hurt to try, as I really want to finish the crate and start training Koa with it.
I started writing my reply email to my sweet friend, and I almost managed to finish it when Koa started drawing my attention. I changed my clothes and got ready to walk with the dude again. When we were back, I finished the email and then fixed myself some brekkie. I got my laptop out, and I wrote today’s blog post. When it was done, I was able to also write Thursday’s quote post, and make an image for it. When I finished both posts, it was time for the dude again. But, as he was relaxing in his bed, I decided to try and start writing my journal Toot. I didn’t get too far when Koa “noticed” the time, and let me know his bladder was ready for emptying, and his nose was ready for sniffing (and his mouth was ready for naughty snacking!).
We had our walkies, and when we got back, I tried to write a bit more for my journal. But my hands were a tad too tired, and I kept making errors which frustrated me quite a bit. I saved what I had managed to type and then I fixed Koa’s meal. I tried to relax a bit while watching some Found. Koa enjoyed his meal, and then I decided to make my own food as well. When I'd finished it, of course Koa wanted walkies again. We walked a little further this time, but not too far, as it was still a tad dark outside.
We just came home again when bestie called me on her way to work. Koa did his silly thing again, where he'd attack me because he heard someone, but couldn't see them... 😂 After being trampled on by the dude, I was able to have a normal conversation. Bestie arrived at work safe and sound, so we ended the call. Koa allowed me to watch an episode of Found before he let me know that he still had plenty of energy and that he wanted to head out again.
As the weather was nice enough, and I had rested a bit, I tried to walk a bit of a longer and different walk with Koa. He was all excited about it. Unfortunately, many other people also had chosen this moment to walk with their dogs, which made it a bit more challenging to walk with the dude. Especially with a longer route this time. It wasn’t a whole lot further, but I wanted to try and start with small/short improvements, to see how it would go.
I was rather glad when we got back home again. I was also rather sweaty, as the walk had taken quite a bit of energy from me. But, Koa seemed like a happy pup, so I washed up and changed my shirt before getting back to the couch for a bit again. Koa was still a little hyper, and it took him some time to calm down a bit. I wish I had more energy and strength again, so I could really offer the dude what he needs the most, energy wise. I know I take care of all his other needs. Just the walks, training, and playtime has suffered since Koa twisted my back at the end of May. I’ve tried to ask friends and family to help me with providing proper walks for Koa. But I don’t want to be too big of a burden on them either…
But, we had a good walk and when Koa settled down, we also had some time to relax. I gave Koa a licky-mat with some kibble. When he’d gobbled it up, he was all excited again. So, I got the deflated and Chuck-It balls and we went into the back garden. We played around for a couple of minutes, until I was getting too dizzy and my back started to complain too much. Koa spent some more time running around like crazy, before he also had to take a break.
We watched some more Found, then had one more walk. It was a longer one as well, and I hoped it would help Koa to find some inner peace. When we got back, I had to wait for a delivery van to come by, as it was bringing us 12,5kg of Koa’s kibble. When the bag had been delivered, I grabbed Koa’s Lickin’ food puzzle, and spent about 15 minutes with “hand exercises”, trying to fill the little compartments with meat and kibble. Koa thought I was waking way too much time, and he “told” me to hurry up several times before I was done.
Koa attacked the puzzle and fortunately, it took him some time as well to get all the little compartments cleaned out again. I started preparing things for bedtime. I didn’t want to get to sleep yet, but I knew that in a bit of time, my body would need a proper way to relax. When I had everything prepped, Koa was already done with his food and bouncing around. So, for the last time of the day, in an effort to “wear the dude down a bit”, we went back into the garden.
First, we played with the balls for several minutes. After a wee break, I decided that I should rinse down the artificial turf a bit, as it had been a while since we had some proper rain. Of course, Koa got all hyper when he saw me grab the towel and nozzle… I had tried to capture the ball playtime and I wanted to try the same with the nozzle bit, even though it would be a bit more challenging, as Koa would be jumping towards the nozzle more often.
We played for a while, and I hoped that the grass was indeed rinsed down enough. I tried to dry Koa and Koa was helping me. So when I was done, both the towel and my pants were anything but dry. 😂I cleaned everything up, took my meds, and changed into my PJ’s. Koa was panting a lot, and he seemed to have had a good time. We got to the bedroom where I watched my series on my tablet, and Koa enjoyed a nice snack. He wasn’t crated, but the bedroom door was closed. So, he had some more freedom while I was still able to keep an eye/ear out for what he was doing.
After an episode I got ready for bed. I took Koa outside for about 10 minutes, but he wasn’t too interested in doing any potty business. Or, maybe he did wee when I was in the bathroom doing my things to prep for bed. We got inside, everything according to the routine...and went to bed. Koa dozed off quickly, and even I managed to doze off sooner than I had imagined. But then, I was rudely awakened by an electric lawnmower, the type you can drive around. They were giving the grassy field a go, and then all the grassy/weedy areas around the neighborhood.
I had closed the window, but was unable to fall asleep again. So when the time came to take Koa out into the garden, I did. He had some time to do his things, but I didn’t see him “do” his things. After ten minutes, we headed back inside. I was able to open the window again, as the worst noise had calmed down. Koa and I tried to sleep again, which Koa did remarkably well. When he woke me up, it was almost midnight, so I knew I had to get up. I was still very tired as I had slept less than 5 hours in total. But hey ho, I had to care for my sweet dude. So, I got up and we started our “day”.
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
#PixysJourney
#WeirdFolks
#ActuallyAuDHD
#KoaKoolani
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/117/324/856/883/917/343/original/bd0cfbb526564d8b.jpg

2026-09-20 05:30:31 UTC

:kirby_prideheart: Ello sweet and lovely Friendos :purple_heart_sparkle:
I hope you're all doing well! :blobcatflower: I'm sorry that I've only been sharing my journals here. And that I've not been able to keep up... As I still need to write the one for yesterday 🫣
My app tells me there are 40 notifications, but I don't think I've ever seen it say anything higher, so I have no idea how far behind I really am. Thank you to all that are in my notifications list, and I will try to check them out. I just have no idea how long it will take me.
For the last few weeks I've been in a survival mode. Just trying to get through the days. Hoping to get some relief when I was able to sleep. I know I'm not feeling well. I know I am lacking in many things. Some things happened that triggered me, causing nightmares, flashbacks, and a feeling of total exhaustion (and sometimes an overwhelming sadness).
I need to do better for Koa. I need to do better for myself... I have tried to ask for help at times which is rather hard for me. So I am glad that I've been able to actually ask (and receive). The coach is trying to get me some help for my home, to help me keeping it clean. I struggle so much, and feel so ashamed. 😢 And as protective as I am of my things, I know that I'm not able to do it by myself anymore. 😔 But it takes time to file a request. Then, if approved, they need to calculate the hours I'm eligible for. And then they need to find someone that will match with me... 🍀
I'll try to write my journal Toot in a bit. In a few hours, a sweet friend is coming over. She will take Koa for a good walk, and then we'll try to build Koa's new crate. 🤞🏻 Fingers crossed that we will be successful in the end! :bb: and that it will fit in the space of the old one 🫣
Well, let's see if I can write that Toot in a bit. I'll have to do a few chores as well. I want to join our friend and Koa but... I may need to relax a bit on bed when they're out (and maybe *finally* check on some of your messages :moomin_flower2:). I really want to join them, but my head feels like I've tried to headbutt Koa during playtime :blobcatSad:
Sorry again for not interacting with your toots. I really hope to start feeling better soon... I want to get back to less pain, more usage of my right hand, and better sleep. :ablobcatangel: I miss chatting with all of you...
:pixy_party: 🫂 🩵 💜 🩷 🐾 :dogeparrot:
#PixysJourney
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/117/301/721/868/838/570/original/942f046880370623.jpg

2026-09-05 07:32:11 UTC

#Journal of a rather exhausted Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Thursday, 03/09/2026).
A very broken night. I dozed off OK, but woke up in tears due to a bad nightmare. It took me two hours to settle down. After that, I was able to get some more sleep, but when Koa told me it was time to get up, I still felt so tired… I wish I could just turn around and sleep some more, but that would not be fair to Koa. I am already failing him in so many ways, I need to do this right by him. So, I got up, fixed his meal, and let him out to do his things. I took my meds, got dressed, and when Koa and I were both ready, we got to the couch.
I got my tablet, and wrote an email reply to a sweet friend of mine. When I was done, it was time to get ready to take young master Koa out for a little walk. He got in his sniffs, and did his things, and we went home again. I fixed myself some brekkie and ate it. As I had made a blog post for today already, I was able to focus on my journal toots. I had noticed that the journal toot that I’d written about Monday, which I was sure to have shared on Masto on Tuesday afternoon, before I went to bed, wasn’t on my wall. I found a small part of it on my tablet, but most of the long toot had vanished…
So, I finished Monday’s journal, and shared it, before I started writing Wednesday’s journal. It was quite a bit of writing, and I was not done yet, when it was time for another walk with the dude. When we got back, I wrote a bit more, before I made some food for Koa. I finished the journal toot, and tried to relax a bit. But my body was rather sore, so it was hard to properly rest some.
I decided that I wanted to watch a bit of my series on my tablet on bed, so I took out Koa for a short walk first. I wanted to be sure that he would be OK in his crate for a bit, should I maybe doze off… And, I did doze off for about an hour, which felt good, but also left me a bit dozy. I knew I had to get up again, and all I felt like doing, was trying to sleep some more. But, I got up, and tried to clean up the living-room and kitchen a bit.
Mum would be coming over in the afternoon, to spend the night, so I could take a sleeping pill, and try to get some better sleep. So I wanted the house to look a bit better before she’d come. I walked a short round with Koa again, and then I crated him for a bit. This way, it would be a bit easier to use the small vacuum cleaner. It’s not the best sucking machine, but all it could take off the floors, meant it was a bit cleaner in the house again.
When I spent most of my spoons, the house wasn't all sparkling yet. But, it was a bit better, which made me feel a bit better as well. I tried to watch some telly, and to relax a bit. The cleaning and bad night’s sleep, they had worn me down quite a bit. So when mum finally texted me that she was on her way, I was quite relieved. It was a bit later than I’d hoped, but it was still early enough to give me a few hours to sleep, should my body, and the sleeping pill allow it.
I got mum all settled in, and then I got ready to go to bed. I took the sleeping pill, and after a little while, I dozed off. I woke up about an hour later, as I felt rather warm. I struggled a bit with my blankets, and managed to doze off again. I woke up when my alarm started to make some noise. I felt like I could have slept a lot longer… But, I wanted to get up in time, so that mum would have enough time to sleep properly too. So, I got dressed, wished my mum a good night, and I started my “day”.
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
#PixysJourney
#WeirdFolks
#ActuallyAuDHD
#KoaKoolani
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/117/217/265/588/109/564/original/fc381ee649015523.jpg

2026-08-29 07:39:17 UTC

#Journal of a terribly overwhelmed Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Friday, 28/08/2026).
Another broken night. I got about 5¼ hours of sleep in total, according to my watch. Which was not nearly enough to make me feel a bit better again. But, Koa let me know it was time for a pee, and some food, so his humom did as he wished. She got up, let him out, fixed his food, and then she took her meds, and got dressed.
We went to the couch, where I got my tablet, and started writing a reply email to a sweet friend. When I had finished the email, it was time to take Koa out for a short walk. We'd been fortunate during our night, and we missed the rain during the times we were in the garden. But now it was still raining some. Which was good for nature, but made the walkies a bit more challenging. I'm usually someone who prefers an umbrella ☔ over a raincoat, but with the splint, I wanted to keep it dry, and I could not hold an umbrella...
When Koa had done his stuff, we got back inside again. I made and ate my breakfast, and then I got my laptop, to start writing today's blog post. I still struggle a bit, writing the posts such a short while before they are supposed to be shared. But my hands still struggle with typing and I'm also still so tired all the time... I've not really been able to write more than one post a day. 😔 I finished the blog post, and then it was time again to take Koa out for a short walk. Fortunately it was dry this time.
We got back again, and I fixed Koa another meal. While he enjoyed it, I started writing my journal Toot. Bit by bit, I got closer to finishing it, and when I was finally done, it felt rather good. I put my laptop away, and made myself some food. After the meal, and some telly time, I walked a bit with Koa again. We just got back home, when mum texted me that she was on her way to us. I put Koa in his crate and got the little vacuum out. I tried to clean the downstairs area a bit. Koa went wild when he saw the vacuum. I guess it's due to his puberty, as he used to just bark at it, but never like this.
When I was done, I needed to relax a bit, and I was glad that mum would help me shower in a bit. Koa was in his dog bed, while I watched some more telly. Koa started barking, looking at the back door. When I got up from the couch, I saw that my mum was parking next to Skoosh. I don't know if Koa recognized the sound of the car, and knew it was mum, or he just saw something behind the house, and he barked because of that.
Koa greeted my mum, and then he had to wait inside for a bit, while mum got the groceries from the car. I tried to clean them up, and then we got ready to get me in the shower. I was a bit scared that something would go wrong with my right hand, especially the thumb as I had taken the splint off for the shower. I tried to keep my hand higher up, and out of the way. And when we were done, nothing had happened to it, so that was some relief for me.
I struggled to get dressed, as I could not put my splint on yet. I wanted to use some lotion on it first, meaning I couldn't use my right fingers to get dressed. Mum helped a bit, and while she cleaned up the bathroom, I cared for my hand, and then I put on my shoes. The little idiot was trying to get some attention, so when mum and I were ready, we took him for a short walk. After we got back, mum helped me fix an elastic shoelace, and I tried mum's hair blower, to warm up the splint, and try to get a painful bump out. Which, fortunately, I was able to do. When we were both done, mum headed back home again.
Koa and I relaxed for a bit. I fixed his meal, and then I slowly started to get everything ready for bedtime. I took my meds, and was yawning quite a bit now. I was really hoping that I could finally get some decent enough sleep this night. We got to bed, and in a little while, I heard Koa snoozing. It took me quite a while to get comfortable enough, and when I finally started to doze off, Koa whined a few times.
He drank a little, but didn't want to do anything outside, except for chilling. We got back again, and back to bed. I finally dozed off. I woke up a few times, heard part of the big thunderstorm, was fortunate that it was dry when Koa wanted out again. I dozed some more after that, and when I woke up again, it was time to get up, and start our "day". I still felt so tired. But I guess that's how it's been for a while now... 😔
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
#PixysJourney
#WeirdFolks
#ActuallyAuDHD
#KoaKoolani
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/117/177/657/351/824/242/original/cd46c6079ecb9301.jpg

2026-08-25 06:49:39 UTC

#Journal of a very worried Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Monday, 24/08/2026).
After a broken, and a bit short, sleep, Koa and I got up to start our “day”. Koa went outside, and he pooped. While I was cleaning it up, he went for a second poop. This one started soft, and ended runny. Which worried me a bit, as it could be a sign that his bowels were struggling too much with the plushies tail, which he ate the previous night. He wasn’t a happy puppy, although fortunately, he didn’t show any of the warning signs, and he was still doing things like eating, drinking, playing. But I could see that he didn’t feel too good about it all.
I got dressed, fixed Koa’s dinner, and I took my meds. Koa ate his food without issue, which was a good thing. He was restless, and whined every now and then. I felt so bad do something, anything, to help him feel better again. I tried to comfort him as much as I could, while also trying to write an email to my sweet friend. I felt a bit sorry for my friend, as the last few emails I sent him, they were mostly me venting about all my worries for Koa. But it did feel like he really was the center of my world, as I spent a lot of time worrying over him. Raising a puppy on my own has proven to be quite difficult at times. And the situations with my back, and now my hand, add even more challenges to it all.
When I had managed to finish the email to my friend, I took Koa out for a short walk. We got back, I fixed some brekkie for me, and after I was done, I started working on my blog post for that day. I got interrupted every now and then, by a little whine from Koa. As I didn’t know if this was due to his ears, or due to him eating that tail, I tried to be there for him as much as I could. This way, I hopefully would not miss any signs of Koa struggling too much.
I finished the blog post. I took Koa out for another walk, and he only peed again. We got back home, and I fixed Koa another meal. Fortunately, he still had his appetite, and he also was still drinking well enough. After a little while, I texted my coach, telling her about the situation with Koa, and how worried I was. I asked her if she could help me to call the vet, as I was already in tears over the stress. Koa had swallowed the tail around midnight the previous night, and this night, his poop turned to diarrhea, which is usually a sign that something is not going too well in the bowels. She texted me that she would make the call, and try to be at our place as soon as she could.
Unfortunately, she had not asked the questions that I told her were important to me, to be able to deal with this situation appropriately. When she got to our place, she called the vet again… And again didn’t ask my questions. She kept hanging on the part that I already knew, the part that didn’t help me. And she kept repeating the things she had found online, which sounded like she had swallowed an AI generator (as I had used AI myself to check on the things I thought I knew were indeed correct), and it was a bit annoying. She kept focusing on the “positive things”, but I kept telling her I needed to know about the negative ones, and how I would need to act if any of those would happen later… So that was not really helping me.
We walked Koa for a while, and still no poop. When she left, she let me know to update her before 17, so she could check with the vet, so I could be prepared for the evening and night. I had a bit of hope that she finally understood what I needed, and I would make sure to give the best update later that day, so she could check, and prepare me for the situations that could happen.
I tried to relax for a little while, as all the worrying, and the lack of decent sleep, was getting to me. I was so hyper vigilant of every sound that Koa made, of every little thing he did, so worried that something in his behavior would change, and not in a good way. So while I really needed to recharge my battery a bit, I could not switch myself off for a bit, as my focus was so strong towards keeping an eye on Koa… I was so worried that I would miss a sign, a warning, and then realize it too late. The trauma still has a strong grip on me, unfortunately.
I walked with Koa, and when it was time for his meal, he still ate it like a mad-man. Which was a good sign. When it was time to get ready for bed, I set an alarm, so I could update the coach in time, so she could make the promised call for me. Turned out I didn’t need the alarm, as I barely managed to sleep for half an hour. Then I woke up from Koa whining a bit, and I wasn’t able to sleep some more.
I took Koa out to the garden, and started typing all the observations in a chat with the coach. And… Nothing happened. No indication that she read the messages. No reply. Absolutely nothing. Around 17:15, I texted our friend that had helped us over the weekend. She immediately asked me about my worries, about my questions, and about my observations. And then, she made the call for me. After a few minutes, she updated me. We discussed it all, and then she made a second call for me. While she was on the phone for me, I got an incoming call from the coach. I ignored it, as it had been an hour since I shared everything with her… She sent a text, which was not helpful at all, and, as later turned out, was very bad advice for Koa’s situation.
Our friend asked if she could call me to discuss the outcome from her call with the vet. I was sobbing a little, and I told her so, but also told her it was OK to call me. While she explained everything to me, I got even a bit angry with the coach, as she broke her promise, she made light of it, and her advice was not good at all… When we ended the call, I wrote a long text, where I told her that someone else made the call because she never responded. And that what she had told me to do, was bad advice, and I told her what the right advice should have been.
I wanted to sleep, I was so tired. But I was also worried, and my body was sore all over. I finally dozed off, and managed a whole 2½ hours of sleep, until Koa woke me up again. It was a different kind of whine, and I got up fast to take him outside. Within a few minutes, Koa started to bend down and… One poop came out! I was so excited, after 23 hours, he finally pooped. I got my bright headlamp, and with my left hand, I tried to examine it as good as I could. And, if I was not mistaken, part of the poop seemed to be formed by a tail! It really looked like the whole thing had come out in one piece!
I was very excited and happy about this. I tried to get back to bed, but I guess that pushing that thing out had brought some discomfort to Koa, and as soon as I was in bed, he started whining. So, totally exhausted, sore all over, but also extremely relieved, I got up, again, and Koa and I started our “day” a little early.
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
#PixysJourney
#WeirdFolks
#ActuallyAuDHD
#KoaKoolani
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/117/154/812/913/134/059/original/6ebc1e0f758cfde8.jpg

2026-08-25 02:14:11 UTC

I'm so sorry to have to share this at the moment... 😢
I had money saved for Koa's healthcare. I took out an insurance for him. I couldn't afford the top of the line, but I thought I didn't do too bad with the one I chose, one I could just afford.
But, due to Koa being a puppy, he needed his shots. And I needed to test him through the titer tests, to know if the vaccinations had taken on, and given him the protection he needs.
Then, we found out that he is dealing with ear infections in both ears.
This meant that, in the 4 months we've been together, my vet costs got to about €600 in total. And, the insurance covered some, but not all, and there was an "own risk" that needed to be paid for as well.
Unfortunately, I didn't have that much saved just yet. And the bill I'm sharing now, only the €28,29 got paid for. So I had to pay the rest, €137,17, with money I didn't really have. 😔
Now it's time to pay the bills, and I don't know how to cover it. 😔 I thought that, with the €300 I had saved in Koa's piggy bank, and with the insurance, that I'd be good to go. And I probably would have been, if the extra bills for his ears hadn't been added to it all.
So, I am doing this again, feeling so ashamed that I can't even manage to pay for my own pup... 😭 But I can't afford to go into debit, and it would be nice to pay the bills.
Sorry about the beg-post here... If anyone would be willing and able to help me with raising €137,17, I would be ever so grateful and relieved! 🩷🩵💜🐾
Don't feel bad if you're not able to help, times are tough for many of us these days. But if you'd be able to boost, that would be a great help as well.
Fankoos so much for your kindness and support :bear_love: Koa and I thank you from the bottom of our hearts :blobbear_heart:
To help us out, this is my PayPal account :
https://paypal.me/CynniPixy
#KoaKoolani #MutualAid
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/117/153/729/773/416/368/original/6c906c83a39fe370.jpg

2026-08-23 07:56:47 UTC

:kirby_prideheart: Ello sweet and lovely Friendos :purple_heart_sparkle:
#GoodMorning and #TZAG everyone :blobCat_sceptical:
I know I've not been too active on here lately. I try to share the journal every morning. But typing takes a long time now and my left hand is a bit overworked, now that right isn't allowed and able to do much. Occasionally, I try to cheat a bit, and try to use one of my right hand fingers to support the typing a bit. But by doing this, I also know that my right hand will tire out quickly, and be a little more sore for a while. But sometimes my left hand does welcome a bit of relief.
I've been struggling with sleep some more. And there have been worries over Koa, as he's done a few things that triggered memories and worries in me. Which I've shared a bit about in the journal Toots.
And this night, after 4 months, Koa finally damaged his IKEA Dachshund. He's been chewing on the tail of the plush for so long, and it was one of the only plushies that had not needed repairs yet. And tonight, as puberty is setting in, Koa not only chewed the tail off the plushies ass, he then quickly swallowed it! 😢 So now, I have to be even more vigilant about watching Koa, to make sure that the tail is safely passing through his system. As soon as I notice any change in him, or if he gets trouble with pooping, I'll have to contact the vet, cause the tail will need to come out via emergency surgery then 😢. So all available fingers and toes are crossed 🤞🏻 for Koa to poop out that tail, hopefully sooner rather than later...
But it's been a bit of a stressful few weeks now, and I do miss reading the timeline, and being able to catch up with all of you. But the lack of decent sleep, the pain and discomfort of my hand, all the bloody worrying over Koa... It's been a bit much. 😔 I'll try to go through my notifications when I can. But I'm a bit behind with them. I do hope that I'll be able to have more time and energy soon, so I can be able to get back to following all your toots again.
Sorry for being so slow in getting back to you all. I hope that you are having a good weekend. 😊 Catch you all later lovelies, hopefully soon!
:pixy_party: 🫂 🩵 💜 🩷 🐾 :dogeparrot:
#PixysJourney

2026-08-23 03:37:20 UTC

#Journal of a worried Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Saturday, 22/08/2026).
After a bit of a mixed night, Koa woke me up again, and informed me that it was time for us to start our “day”. I fixed Koa’s food, took me meds, got dressed, and then, we headed to the couch. While I was busy, trying to write an answer email to my sweet friend. While I was busy typing, Koa was busy chewing on one of his snacks. And yes, I checked to make sure if it was a snack, and not something else he was secretly trying to destroy.
At some point, I heard Koa gobbling up his snack too quickly, and I think it got stuck in his throat for a while. Koa was stressed, and he drank almost all of his water-bowl in one go. He was panting, whining a bit, and constantly grabbing for my hand. I did my best to check his mouth and throat, and I could find nothing stuck somewhere. So I thought that the last bit of the snack had been stuck for a little while, which caused him the distress. As it took some time for Koa to settle down, I texted a dear friend that I was worried about him.
The panting got less, he had a normal pee and poop, he was able to eat without any visible issues. The only thing that remained, was the occasional sad whining. But the difficult thing was/is, that Koa has always been a bit of a whiner, ever since he came to live with me (probably due to his ears). So I had no idea what these whines were about, making me worry all through the night.
After I finished the email to my friend, I took Koa out for walkies. He did all the usual things in his normal ways. But, when we got back, there were moments again where Koa let out some of his sad whines. I made and ate my brekkie, and then I started writing my blog post for that day. Koa seemed to relax a bit more. But, every time he whined a bit again, I felt it through and through. I felt so helpless, as I felt like he was dealing with some sort of discomfort, and I just wanted him to feel better again, but I didn’t know how to help him.
I scheduled the blog post, walked another short round with Koa, and fed him his meal. I watched him closely, and I saw no issues with his eating. But shortly after he finished, he lay down, and there was some whining again. I tried to comfort him every time when he whined, but I still felt like I should be doing more to help him feel better.
I started writing my journal toot, but my hands were tired, and I had to take it easy for a bit. I fixed some food, and when I had enjoyed it, Koa wanted out for another walk. After the walk, I tried to relax a bit, until our friend was coming. She texted that she was on her way, but Koa hinted that he needed to go out. I texted our friend that we were heading out for a short walk, and just as Koa and I were heading out the door, our friend walked up to our home.
We went for a little walk, which seemed to make Koa happy. We talked about what happened with Koa during the night. Our friend observed Koa for a while, and of course, Koa didn’t show any of the signs, as he was too excited of her visiting us. She checked some of the things that I had observed with Koa with some info she found online.
The trouble is, that I don’t really have a “natural baseline” for Koa. When he came to me, he whined every now and then. But, it was stressful, being away from his family. And, when he moved into my home, he already had some issues with some ear wax. So, he could have been dealing with his ears already then. He never completely stopped the occasional whining, but then, his ears weren’t being treated yet, as I didn’t know that he was suffering from the infections. So, it’s making it very hard for me to know the actual reasons for his whining. He doesn’t do it all the time, and he’s not really showing any other clear signs that he’s in some sort of discomfort.
It’s also harder for us to really find out what Koa is dealing with, as he never showed any of the clear signs of dealing with ear infections, except maybe the little whines, so there are no diminishing signs to show us that the treatment is working. And… He will be 6 months in a few days time, so there is so much happening in his body and mind. He’s still growing, so there’s always a chance of growing pains. He’s hitting puberty, so that means a lot of changes too. And, if he has been dealing with his ears since he was just a wee lad, then it will be strange to him what could be happening to his ears now, as the meds are (hopefully) destroying the infections.
We tried to find out all we could, and the answers we found were good, but inconclusive, as we can’t be sure of any of it. There are moments where I wish dogs could just talk to us with words. So Koa could tell me why he keeps whining every now and then, so I could make sure to do anything possible to help him feel better again.
My friend joined us for a nice walk, and then she got ready to head back home again. Of course, within a few minutes, Koa lay himself down again, and did the little sad whiney thing again. I tried to capture it on video, so I could share it with our friend. When she heard some of the little whines, she understood why they worried me some. So I’ll just keep monitoring Koa as best as I can, so I can give him the best support.
Koa had his meal, I had a snack, and then I got everything ready so we could head to bed. It took me quite a while to get comfortable enough to doze off, as my hand was being annoying. When I was finally snoozing, Koa woke me up to get a drink, and go potty. We went back to bed after that, and I managed to get some sleep, until Koa woke me up again. We went outside, Koa did his thing, and back to bed again. Koa whined a bit again, and I checked the clock, and told Koa I needed a bit more sleep. And, for some magical reason, he stopped whining, and we dozed off again. An hour later, Koa told me that it was, in fact, now time to get up. So I did, and we started our “day”.
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
#PixysJourney
#WeirdFolks
#ActuallyAuDHD
#KoaKoolani
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/117/142/732/114/754/302/original/a75d2f70de4a0aa6.jpg

2026-08-20 03:43:49 UTC

- reply

@nprofile…cm0q
Haha 🩷🩵💜 I'll try to do that. I will probably need to vent my frustrations first, and hope for my hand to start hurting less... With a few more spoons, it will be a bit easier to be kinder to myself again. :neomouse_hug_blahaj_heart: Fankoos :blobhaj_hug_blahaj:

2026-08-20 03:16:11 UTC

- reply

@nprofile…cm0q
Very true indeed, I'm good to go for the next week, so that's a plus. I also really hope that my hand and lower arm will feel better soon. It's been over two weeks, so of course I am eager for the pain to slowly sod off. Although it would also be welcome to sod off fast, if it wants to. 😉

2026-08-19 05:22:09 UTC

#Journal of a very stressed Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Tuesday, 18/08/2026).
Due to me waiting endlessly for my meds to be delivered, there wasn't much time for me to catch some sleep, until Koa would wake me up again for his pee, poop, and, of course, food. When I just dozed off, a buzzing terrorist 🦟 decided to hover around my head, making me very cranky. When I applied the deet, and turned on the UV swatter, it took a little while before I managed to doze off again. After just two hours, I woke up for the loo. I decided to take Koa out for a wee, and gave him some kibble (as I always do) when he went back to the crate. I had given him a little extra, hoping it would buy me some more time to sleep.
Unfortunately, Koa woke me up again around midnight. So, after about 4 hours of sleep in total, feeling like utter crap, I got up to start our "day". I let Koa out, and then I fixed his food. While Koa was enjoying his meal, I tried to get dressed. My hand was swollen enough to make it hurt more again, so getting dressed was a bit more challenging. When I was done, I had to make due with my short working meds, because I never received the ones I had been waiting on for so long... When Koa had finished his meal, and I took some of the meds available to me, we got to the couch.
I got my tablet out, and worked for a while to write a reply to my sweet friend's email. When I was finally done, as typing is still so slow these days, I took Koa out for a little walk. I fixed my brekkie after that, and then I started writing my journal toot. It was a harder one to write, as I still felt much of the stress and frustration of the previous day. I seemed to be typing for ages, and when I was finally done, I felt a bit of relief, in a way. But my hands also needed a proper rest. So, I tried to relax for a while, as best as my body was allowing it. And after a bit, it was time to take out Koa for a walk again.
When we got back, I fed the little monster, and made some food for myself. Unfortunately, my food made me feel so very nauseous all of a sudden, and I had to rush to the loo. So, besides feeling terribly sore all over, I now was feeling super nauseous as well. This was going to be a fun filled day...
I walked a short walk with Koa again, and then I tried to get a bit more relaxed. The message from the hospital said they'd call at 8:30, so of course I made sure to be ready for it. And, of course, the left me waiting till 8:50 before they finally called. Ugh, how I dislike people treating others that way... But I could have known, as I had dealt with this person before, and they left me waiting for ages before finally contacting me before as well.
They started with some sort of apology about the confusion concerning my canceled appointments. I was supposed to receive a call last Friday, from the planning folks, where they should have explained that they made an error with the planning... But nope, they just deleted the appointments, and that was it... So I guess she never read my message properly, as I clearly stated that I had received no form of explanation... Ugh... The rest of the call was rather tedious, as it was the same stuff as after my previous hand surgery. Still the same comments of all I should be doing, and still the same resistance when I tried to explain to them, again, that due to how my brain communicates with my body, the standard things just won't work for me. They still pressed on about how I should at least try certain things... I stopped explaining that those things had not worked for me for all my life, so I doubted they would magically start working now... I just didn't have the spoons for this stuff...
The dreadful call lasted for half an hour. I was even more exhausted than before, when the line finally disconnected. Soon after that, my mum arrived, and we got ready for her to help me take a well needed shower. It was a bit of a hassle, but in the end, I did feel a bit better. I still don't like the sensation of the water, and it's even harder when you're not the one in control, but it was worth it to feel a bit more refreshed again.
When I finally managed to get dressed again, Koa was showing me he was a bit displeased with my lack of action. I should have walked with him after the phone call, but I really needed to shower first, to get that done. So, mum and I took Koa out for a little walk, which seemed to please the dude, so that was a plus. When we got back, mum wanted to get the vacuum out, as it had been two weeks since it was last done. I tried to gather some courage to make a phone call, as I had to find out what happened to the meds that I really needed. So, I made the call, and explained the situation. They told me they'd check, and then call me back. Which they did, a few minutes later. And it turned out, my meds had been delivered, sort of... They had put them in the mailbox! While I sat there, waiting... And while last year, when I had asked them if it were possible to get meds to the mailbox, as I could not be home all afternoon, since I needed to take Arwen out at times. And the man told me, with great conviction, that they were never allowed to do that, due to theft. They needed to deliver it to a person, answering the recipient's door... So yeah... Never believe what they tell ya, I guess... 🤔
So, I hung up, frustrated with yet another thing that just made no sense at all, and I went to the mailbox to get my meds, finally... When mum was ready, it was time for us to get to the car, and head to Cuijk for my physio. The session helped me to get a bit of relief in my right shoulder and back. Then, we headed back to Herpen. A quick pitstop at the supermarket. Then, mum took Koa for a little round over the field behind the house, while I put away the groceries, and then fixed Koa's meal.
I tried to eat a bit, as I was hungry, since I had not eaten anything since I became so nauseous and threw up after my morning meal. Koa and I relaxed a bit on the couch, with a bit of telly. As I was rather tired from all the happenings, and lack of decent sleep. So, I started to get everything ready to head to bed.
I woke up once to a buzzing terrorist. I applied some deet, turned on the UV swatter, and fell back asleep. Koa woke me up after a few hours for a potty break. And then, he allowed me to sleep some more hours. I got a little over 7 hours of sleep in total, which had been very welcome. So now, Koa and I got up to start our "day".
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
#PixysJourney
#WeirdFolks
#ActuallyAuDHD
#KoaKoolani
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/117/120/495/051/902/536/original/9ee502d2aaac90d8.jpg

2026-08-18 02:48:22 UTC

#Journal of a very stressed and exhausted Dutch AuDHD Pixy (Monday, 17/08/2026).
After a bit of a broken night, Koa and I got up to start our "day". I got dressed, fixed Koa's kibble, and took my meds. When Koa had finished with his meal, we got to the couch. I got my tablet, and started writing an email to my sweet friend. When I was done, Koa and I went for a short walk.
I fixed some brekkie when we got back. After that, I got my laptop, and wrote my journal Toot. After that, I finished up my journal blog post. I worked a little bit on a new post, but after all that typing, my hands were rather tired, and a tad sore. I tried to relax a little bit, before it was time to walk with Koa again.
After the walk, I fed the little bugger. I got back to the couch a little while, but my hip, back, and neck were causing me some discomfort. So getting some proper rest was not really possible. A little while later, I fixed myself some food. I went out with Koa again, and then I got ready to walk to the GP's office for my appointment. It was raining quite a bit, which was very good for nature, but made things a bit more challenging for me. When you only have one functioning hand, and you need to hold an umbrella.
I had set up the tablet again to keep an eye out on Koa, especially after what had happened last Friday. I wasn't able to watch the screen, as I could not hold the phone, due to the umbrella. But I could hear his barking. He did not bark continuously, but there was a bit of barking while I tried to walk to the GP. I had taken an extra painkiller, as I knew my back would not be too pleased with the longer walk.
I arrived at the office, and while it was grey, wet, and only 16°C, I was sweating like crazy. I tried to relax a bit, hoping my temperature would get a bit better. I tried to watch the video from the tablet, but it was a bit too dark to see Koa in the crate. I could hear him though, and thankfully, he seemed to get a bit calmer. It was almost 8, so I put away the phone, to make it easier to follow the GP when she called me in.
We had a good chat, where she informed me on some options when it comes to trying to manage my peri issues. And we talked a bit about my pain management, and my need for a new prescription for some painkillers. She send the pharmacy a new order for meds, and added that it should be delivered today. I thanked the GP, and got ready to brave the rain again.
When I got home, I was hoping to relax a wee bit, before the coach would come. But Koa let me know that he wanted out for a little walk. So, instead of some rest, I was back out in the rain again. We walked a short round, and on the way home, I saw the coach already parked. She was a bit early, and on the phone. Koa and I went inside, and a few minutes later, the doorbell rang. No rest for the wicked.
The coach and I discussed several things. She noticed that I was tired so we only did the necessary things. Then she offered me to walk with Koa so he could have a bit of exercise, and I could have a little bit of rest. After Koa came back home, the coach headed to her next appointment.
I felt rather broken, I was hurting all over, and the couch was not allowing me to rest properly. SD Koa had just been taken for a walk, I decided we'd get to the bedroom for a bit, so we could both try to relax a bit. It would be a longer day, as I should be getting my meds this afternoon.
I watched some series on my tablet, and Koa snoozed for a while. I found it hard to relax, as I was just so sore, and it seemed impossible to get comfortable. We got up again, I fixed Koa's meal, and after a bit of telly, I texted my coach and asked if she could help me. But there came no reply for quite a while, and I still needed the help. So, I texted a dear friend, explained the situation, and asked if she could help me. She said OK, and called the pharmacy to check if all went well, and that they would be delivering the meds this afternoon. I was very grateful that she wanted to check it for me. And glad that they said that the meds were on their way.
I also asked my friend if she could help with the issue I was having with the hospital. Where all of a sudden, they canceled all my scheduled hand therapy, and instead only gave me a phone appointment for an intake... I was so confused, as I had already started therapy on Friday morning. I had sent them a message through their app, and had not heard back yet. I shared all info with my friend, and she was OK to call the hospital for me the next day.
We were chatting while I was waiting for the meds. As it was getting later and later, I was getting worried that something was not right. I did receive a message from the hospital though. But, it was a bit weird. While it did give me a time when to expect the call, it referred to a message I supposedly had been sent by them. That message should contain some sort of explanation for the situation with the cancelation of my appointments. I checked all my emails, I checked every option in their app... But, I couldn't find that message anywhere... So that only brought me more annoyance. 😔
Time kept ticking away, and when it was 17:45, I was giving up the last bit of hope that I would be able to get my meds for the night. They had told my friend twice that the delivery was coming... Guess they forgot about me. My whole body was so sore. I was so tired. I had wasted my time, waiting for the meds, meaning there was less time left to get some sleep as after some time, I would need to get up, as Koa needed his routine when it comes to his meals.
I f got to bed, and my brain was such a mess due to the incompetence of the medical field today. So I wasted another precious hour, while I tried to get my brain calm enough to be able to doze off. Then, when I just dozed off, a buzzing terrorist 🦟 came at me. I was so frustrated with everything, that I ended up crying while I was applying some deet, and I turned on the UV fly fryer.
I woke up when a terrorist decided to commit suicide... That was one mosquito that would not be bugging me anymore. I went to the loo, took Koa out for a wee, and I gave him some kibble, hoping it would buy me some extra time to sleep... I dozed off again. Unfortunately, around midnight, Koa woke me up, ready to start his "day". So, with just over 4 hours of sleep, it was time to get up again. I wondered how I wad going to get through this day... Especially with that intake call, going to PT, and hopefully being able to finally get the meds I need...
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
#PixysJourney
#WeirdFolks
#ActuallyAuDHD
#KoaKoolani
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/117/114/228/001/750/893/original/5c6a31721d07de91.jpg

2026-08-13 07:04:51 UTC

:kirby_prideheart: Ello sweet and lovely Friendos :purple_heart_sparkle:
I know I've not been around much. Yesterday wasn't the best day for me. I'm doing a wee bit better today, but my body is sore in several places, making things take more spoons than usual.
I'll try to catch up with the notifications on here. Not sure how far I can get, as typing is still a bit hard after yesterdays numbness in my hand.
Hope you're having a good day 🌞 everyone! Catch you all later lovelies!
:pixy_party: 🫂 🩵 💜 🩷 🐾 :dogeparrot:
#PixysJourney

2026-08-13 06:10:50 UTC

- reply

@nprofile…cm0q
Yeah we did our best... And often were told that it just wasn't good enough... At least, that has been my situation. And it didn't do me much good, I'm afraid, when it comes to my confidence. And it made it harder for me to go easy on myself, as something inside me keeps telling me that I have to do better. 😔 Fankoos 💜 dear for your kindness and support 🩵 🩷

2026-08-12 02:38:51 UTC

#Journal of a very sore and emotional Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Tuesday, 11/08/2026).
After all the stress of the Monday afternoon, I had a shorter night than I had hoped for. But I understood that it was time for Koa to get out of the crate, and to enjoy a nice meal. Afterall, he had been snoozing already while I was stressing over getting my meds before the pharmacy would close. And then, waiting for them to be delivered. Ah well, after all these months of being tired, exhausted even, what's another short and crappy night. So, at the command of my hairy idiot, I got up, and we started our "day".
I let Koa out, got dressed, fixed Koa's kibble, took my meds (as I had them now, yay), and then I got to the couch. I grabbed the laptop, and wrote an email to my sweet friend. I still felt very numb. And I kept starting to cry every few minutes. I'm just so lost and I have all these fears and doubts. What happened with me and Koa, it still haunts me. Everyone I've talked with, they all tell me that I didn't react as bad as I feel about it. And I know that these people would not be dishonest about that to me, as they know how important honesty is for me, even if it's bad news.
I finished the email to my sweet friend, and then I took Koa out for a short walk. When we got back, I fixed some brekkie. Then I started writing my journal Toot. I did it on my phone, as my back was sore from leaning forward to the laptop and I had to lay down for a bit. My back, neck, and shoulder muscles were giving me such a hard time. I was really hoping that later today, my physio would be able to make things better. Even the slightest improvement would make a big difference, or so I hoped...
When I had finished my journal and uploaded it to the usual places, it was time to try and work on a blog post for Wednesday, as I was all out... And I really don't want to lose my 6-year streak. I had already started on a post, so fortunately it was less work to finish it. I really hope that, when the painful cast is taken off, and I'll get the temporary plastic splint, it will then become easier for me to type.
I walked again with the furball, and then I fixed food for him. I tried to relax a bit, after I'd been typing most of the night. My silly bursts of tears were becoming a bit less frequent, which was good, as I didn't want to be all sobby when mum would take me to physio. I fixed myself some food. After a nice meal, I had to rinse off the artificial grass. I can't leave that too long, especially with the warmer, sunny weather as the grass needs to stay proper for as long as possible. It's too expensive for me to replace it every now and then. It really needs to last for as many years as possible. So, I need to stay on top of it.
It was a challenge to keep my cast dry, and to not be jumped over by the nutty Lab. It's already difficult when you have two working hands... Having only one, not even a very good one, and needing to keep the cast dry... I'll be very happy when I can use both my hands again. 😊
I was watching some telly, while cooling the cast and skin around it, as it was itching like crazy, when mum texted me that she was on her way. When she arrived, we chatted for a while, and I started crying again. Telling her what had happened, and how awful I was feeling. 😢 When it was almost time to get ready to head to physio, mum and walked with the brown idiot. After that, we got to the car, and we headed to Cuijk.
And seeing how mum is driving these days, it makes me worry that an accident is going to happen at some point. 😢 She made a mistake on a roundabout, one she'd made before, and one that's dangerous to make. I yelled at her, as she freaked me out with that action. Just like how I freaked out last time she did that. But there are so many little things that she used to do do much better, that I really worry about her being on the road like that. But, I was honest and I told her. I know it must have been difficult for her to hear. But if she drives as insecure as she does now, it really worries me.
We got to physio a bit early. We waited and even Koa was doing a great job. When it was my turn, my PT got me a massage on my back and shoulders. It was rather painful, but he did his best to loosen up the tight muscles. When he was done, and I got up, I was dizzy for a bit. Then mum and I headed back home again. This time I gave her a slightly different route, that would hopefully be less stressful.
Mum got us back home. She took Koa for a wee on the dry, grassy field, and then she quickly had to head home for another appointment. I fixed Koa's meal, and tried to eat a bit myself. But, I got nauseous after a few bites, so I put the snack away. I watched some telly, and then my neighbor texted she was coming to pick up Koa for a nice walk. Koa got all excited, and it was a challenge to get his leash on. So I let him greet the neighbor, and then we put the leash on. Without looking back, he was off on a nice adventure.
I took my meds, and just relaxed watching telly. The neighbor and Koa came back and he was worn out all the way. She told me they had a good walk, and he seemed to enjoy it tremendously. The neighbor left, Koa drank away all he could, and I got things ready to head to bed. I was hoping to get some decent sleep tonight, as I really needed it badly.
Koa was exhausted, he had his snack and a drink, and he just let himself crash. He was still panting, and while I was reading, hoping to doze off, I also kept listening, hoping Koa's breathing would calm down. When I heard him being more relaxed, I dozed off. Unfortunately, I woke up again about half an hour later, as my hand was tingling, which hurt rather annoyingly. It took some time for my hand to find a position that helped it to stop hurting.
I dozed off again. But I kept waking up so often, as in my sleep, my arm would turn a wee bit, and it felt like the cast was pressing against a nerve, that kept triggering the tingling. At one point, it was so bad, that it took almost two hours before my hand stopped hurting too much, and I was finally able to fall asleep again. I still woke up several times. But I was amazed that Koa let me try to sleep for so long. I almost felt like he understood that I needed some sleep to feel a bit better again.
I will need to contact the hospital in the morning, to ask them about this. It hurts so much when the tingling is happening. And sometimes, it feels like my thumb is experiencing little spasms. I will need to contact the neighbor first, because if they want me to come in (which I am hoping for, as I don't want to deal with this for two more nights - and when it happens during the day), I hope that she can command Skoosh to get us to the hospital (and back again of course). Let's see what the new day will bring...
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
#PixysJourney
#WeirdFolks
#ActuallyAuDHD
#KoaKoolani
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/117/080/216/738/039/412/original/fcbfbaf28d0fa5a1.png

2026-08-11 23:06:10 UTC

- reply

@nprofile…cm0q
Fankoos dear 💜 🌸 🫂 🐾
Unfortunately it's what I've always done, as I felt others always did that to me... If that makes sense... They were always pushing me harder to be better, or what many of them meant, to be more NT. As I wasn't diagnosed as ND until a later age, it's been hard growing up with a pressure I didn't understand, and one I could never live up to. 😢
I'll try to be kinder to myself. Raising an alpha male was hard enough on itself. But with the herniated disc, thanks to the dude, and now my hand... It's too challenging and I'm really wondering if I can hold on long enough for things to get nette and less painful again. 🍀
Fankoos for your kindness and support 🩵 🩷 💜 I really appreciate it so much 🫂🌸🌹🐾

2026-08-11 02:51:59 UTC

#Journal of a very ashamed Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Monday, 10/08/2026).
The "day" started as usual, with Koa waking me up, while I could have used some more sleep. We got up, and did our normal routine. After that, I got to the couch, grabbed my laptop, and started an email to my sweet friend.
After some time, my bowels started to hurt. They always shut down for a few days after I've had anesthesia. And this pain meant I had to run to the loo. While I was "dealing with it", Koa came very happily to the loo. In his mouth, he had a bit of broken cable. I started to freak out, as there aren't many places where he could have gotten it. When I was finally done, Koa rushed to his bed, and started chewing some more. I saw what it was, and I saw red. And, I whacked him. This scared the heck out of both me and him. Koa rushed to the crate, and I quickly closed it.
I was so shocked, so angry, so disappointed, so disgusted with my own behavior. I sat in front of the crate for 15 minutes, rocking myself, crying, trying to make sense of it all. I saw Koa looking at me through the wires of the crate. His eyes made me cry some more, I felt so terribly bad. When I calmed down a bit, I opened the crate. Koa slowly started to climb onto my legs, and then began licking my tears. I cried, tried to hug him as best as I could, tried to calm down. And while my tears were being "kissed" away, while I was stroking his fur, holding him tight, I felt so numb. And this scared me as well...
Why didn't I feel anything? Why was it like I was dead inside? These feelings, these questions, they would keep me occupied for most of the day...
After some time, Koa was done with the whole cuddling thing. He left me, and I got up, and headed back to the couch. I wrote my email, mostly about everything that had just happened. When I was done, I took Koa for a walk. Hoping some fresh air would help me.
When we got back, I fixed myself some brekkie. Then, I tried to write up my journal Toot. It took me a while, as I was so overwhelmed with the previous events. When I was finally done, I put the laptop away and I tried to relax for a bit. Then, another short walk with Koa. I made him some food, and tried to distract myself with some more telly.
I felt like crap, and every few minutes, I started crying again. I was still so overwhelmed, so depressed, so confused. I tried to "just" keep going. Fortunately, after a while, the crying became a bit less. I walked with Koa again, and then I waited for the coach to come.
When she did, she helped me to call the GP about getting some meds. It was hard, especially when she forced me to talk, I felt so incredibly uncomfortable and stressed. In the end, she offered to take Koa for a walk. Which was very nice, as it gave me a wee bit of time to relax. When they got back, she left for her next appointment. Koa took a little time to unwind, and when he did, we were able to relax a bit together.
After some time, I fixed him some food. We went out for a last time, and we got ready for bed. I was hoping to get my new meds delivered in the afternoon, so I tried to stay awake to not miss the doorbell. I also checked my phone many times. And then, around 15:45, the GP called me. I started to stress, but they said they had approved the meds request. When I asked about the delivery of them, they said they added that it should be delivered today. But, as they usually deliver between 14-16, and it was almost 16, I started to freak out. The GP told me to call the pharmacy, so some more freaking out was happening.
I managed to call the pharmacy, and they said they never received the receipt, so they could not deliver. And... I had to call the GP about it. More freaking out, I was crying, rocking myself. This was just too much, and I was too exhausted. I managed to explain it to the GP office, and they promised to try and get the meds to me today. Ugh... I was so exhausted, but tried to stay awake to not miss the doorbell. And... When it finally rang, I felt such a relief.
I let Koa out, and then we both went to bed. It didn't take too long for me to doze off. After a little less than 5 hours, Koa woke me up. We went outside, he did his things, and we went back to bed. Koa allowed me almost two more hours until he woke me up again, telling me he'd been in the crate long enough. Which I totally understand, as he's been in there all the time while I was waiting for the meds. So, with just over 6½ hours of sleep in total, feeling very groggy and doozy, I got up, and we started our "day".
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
#PixysJourney
#WeirdFolks
#ActuallyAuDHD
#KoaKoolani

2026-08-09 04:33:07 UTC

- reply

@nprofile…cm0q
Well, it's mostly that I can't properly train with him. I want to teach him things that would make our lives together a bit easier, when he gets to being able to do these things. Like being told to stay on the left or right side during walkies. And the "come here" command seems to fall on deaf ears most of the time... 😔
And I want to take him to the woods to the waterside. Give him interesting sniffs and positive experiences. Not just the same kind of simple walkies every day. My neighbor helps me with this, as she takes him on different routes. But it's not the same as the woods and waterside.
I wanna be able to play more with him. Engage in positive experiences together.
I know I am doing all I can, and that I've done good with asking for help. I guess it's also a "me issue", where I always feel like I should be doing more, and doing things better...
:blobcatflower: Fankoos dear 💜 for your kindness and support 🩵🩷

2026-08-09 04:16:10 UTC

- reply

@nprofile…cm0q
Fankoos dear 💜 🌸 🫂 🐾
Yeah I know I need to take care of myself do I can care for Koa... But I feel I'm not providing him with all he needs. 😔
I'm super grateful that my neighbor is willing and able to take Koa for some good walks. I would feel even worse if he would not get these walks. And he seems to really love going out with her, so that's a plus. 😊
🩷💜🩵 Fankoos again, and I hope that you are having a good weekend sweets :bear_love:

2026-08-09 02:53:47 UTC

#Journal of a slightly improving Dutch Pixy :pixy_party: (Saturday, 08/08/2026).
Finally, after two very crappy nights, where there was a lot of discomfort, and very little sleep, I had a night with some more decent hours of sleep. First I got five hours, and then Koa woke me up for a potty break. We went back to bed after that, and he allowed me two more hours of sleep, before he was done with being in the crate, and eager for a nice meal. So, after about 7 hours of sleep, while I could have used a few more to catch up, we got up and started our “day”.
I got dressed, took my meds, and fixed a meal for my dude. We got to the couch, and I got my laptop. I started my email to my sweet friend, which took some time to write. When I was finally done, I fixed myself some brekkie. After that, Koa and I had a short walk, and we got back to the couch. I started on my journal toot, which took some time to write as well. I usually enjoy writing my journal, but the last few days, it’s taken so many spoons… You’d think that typing would be an easier thing, but with a cast and all… Nope…
When I finished the journal, and I uploaded it to all the right places, I finally put away the laptop. I took Koa for another short walk, and then I tried to relax for a bit on the couch. After some time, I fixed Koa some food. I was burping some from my brekkie, but I was also feeling rather hungry, as I had not eaten very much the previous days, due to being so nauseated all the time. So when Koa was done with his meal, I prepped some food for myself. I also took one of the pills that should help to reduce the nauseous bits and bops, as I really needed to get some food in me.
I enjoyed the meal, and fortunately, the amount of reflux and burping was a lot less than it had been the previous few days. I took Koa for another short walk, and I texted the neighbor if she would be interested in taking Koa for another long walk again today. Then, I got the nozzle of the water hose, and I tried to clean the grass as best as I could, without being trampled by my wild beast. Of course, I could not film it, as I only had one hand, and it was hard enough to rinse the grass without being jumped against… But I think I managed to give it a wee bit of a rinse, and then I tried to fill up the blue shell some more.
Koa was having a great time, and in the end, I’m not sure who was wetter, him or me. Fortunately, I managed to keep my cast dry. I tried to dry off the beast, and he kept rubbing against my legs, so my pants were in need of some drying as well. I switched clothes, and then I grabbed Koa’s shark toy. I threw it in the Koa pool, and he immediately took it out, and started running around like an idiot. He almost waltzed me over once. I tried to capture a little vid of him having fun, as it had been a while since I took a video or some snaps of him.
The neighbor texted a time when she and her son would be coming over to pick up Koa. I walked a short round with him, as he indicated that he needed to go out. So we did just that, and then I watched telly, while I told Koa to relax and chill, as he would be getting a good walk soon, with possibly a bit of running as well.
Koa got picked up for his walk, and I tried to relax a bit on the couch. It was nice to just be able to lie down and watch telly, without being disturbed by a silly, attention seeking, doggo. I do love that stupid beast, but sometimes, I just need him to relax and not keep “bothering” me. I wanna be there for him, and I do my best to provide him with all I can. Heck, I even ask my neighbors to take him on some decent walks, now that I can’t provide those myself. But, with my back still recovering, with my arm in a cast, and with me feeling just so sore and tired… Sometimes I need some time for myself to unwind, to recharge. And it makes me feel bad, because I push away Koa when he’s eager for attention. But I just can’t be there for him all the time, he needs to chill from time to time. So I can do the same…
After about half an hour, the neighbor brought back one happily panting doggo. He had a good drink, and I fixed him some food. We relaxed for a while, and then I got everything ready to head to bed. I felt so tired, and my arm felt so sore… I hoped that I could catch some more sleep, and rest and not be bothered by my arm for some time.
After some reading I dozed off. But I woke up again about half an hour later. I tried to get comfortable, but my arm kept on bugging me. I was awake for several hours. I did manage to finish the book I was reading, and start a new one. But I would have preferred to get some more sleep. I took out Koa for a wee, and then we got back to bed. I finally managed to fall asleep. After a few hours, Koa woke me up again. We went out again, and back to bed. I woke up a little time later, but as Koa was quiet, and I was still so tired, I managed to doze off again, and get another hour of sleep. Then Koa did wake me up, telling me he was done with being in the crate, and that he’d like to do a number two, to make space for a lovely meal that he was eager to get. So, after getting about 6 hours of sleep in total, according to my watch, we got up, and we started our “day”.
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
#PixysJourney
#WeirdFolks
#ActuallyAuDHD
#KoaKoolani
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/117/063/288/510/059/079/original/34fc3696d7600fa3.jpg

2026-08-05 08:24:57 UTC

- reply

@nprofile…cm0q
Fankoos dear 💜 🌸 🫂 🐾 I'll do my best, and hopefully my hand will start feeling better soon 🍀

2026-08-05 06:11:02 UTC

#Journal of an anxious and stressed Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Tuesday, 04/08/2026).
It was a bit of a mixed night, due to potty breaks, bad backs, and buzzing terrorists. But in the end, I got up earlier than I had hoped for, as today was going to be a long day. I got up, got dressed, took my meds, and fed Koa. There was an email from the pharmacy now, so all the dreadful calls had paid of, at least... When Koa was done with his meal, we got ready, and we went to Skoosh, to go and pick up my meds.
The drive went well, and before we knew it, we were back home, and I was able to take my better meds again. I got to the couch, grabbed my laptop, and started emailing my sweet friend. When I was done, I fixed some brekkie. I walked with Koa, wrote my journal toot, and then I relaxed a bit, as much as I could. I had to check the time, due to my last meal before the surgery and all.
I fixed food for Koa and myself, we went on a little walk, and then I tried to distract myself. I fiddled around with the YouCut app, trying to make a little video. It wasn’t the best editing, as it was hard to keep my concentration. Anxiety was slowly but surely setting in more. I knew this surgeon was a good one, as he was the one that tried to repair my left thumb, after the “butcher” from the awful hospital had messed it up so badly. 😢 But still, there are always risks and one bad left thumb was enough, I kinda need the right one to keep working as best as possible.
I prepared everything for the hospital and for Koa, so he would have food, snacks, toys, and all while being at my parents’ place. When mum texted that she was coming to pick us up, I took out Koa for a little walk. Then, I got all the bags, and Koa and I waited next to the parking, so mum could put in Koa and the bags, and we’d be on our way.
I had to wait a while in Nijmegen, until mum could take me to the hospital. We found a quick spot, and checked in. After almost an hour in the waiting area, they called me in. Well, they called in my surname with “mister” in front of it... I would not mind getting rid of the female issues, especially now that the peri-symptoms have set in. But nope, not a mister... But, it was meant for me, and the lady apologized, and we had a little laugh about it. Everything got checked, and mum got all the info, and then we said goodbye, as I went to the preparation area, and mum went back home.
All my things went into the box, the lady helped me to close the gown, and she sealed the box containing my things. I got into the bed, and when all was set, she wheeled me to the next area. There, they were going to give me the heart monitor patches, and my IV. I warned the lady that setting IV’s was something my body was never cooperative with. But, she found a good spot, and it would be done easily. Well, nope... As said, not working, loads of pain, more needles, and in the end, I got my IV in my elbow (which also hurt like hell).
I got to the OR, and they kept asking me if I was sure about not wanting a nerve-blocker in my arm. I had one of those with my first hand surgery... It took me, and the physio, about 6 months to have my hand/arm recover from that. So yeah, I was sure to have some more pain for a few more days, instead of dealing with an even longer aftermath from the nerve-block. Then, I got the mask on, and after a few breaths, I was out...
When I came around again, the first thing I noticed was a very annoying pain. They gave me some extra meds, and I got a water ice cream. Yay, that felt good. When the meds were doing their thing, I was brought to a little room, where I got some food. They had called my mum so she should be on her way as well. They helped me in my own clothes. When mum arrived, she helped me with my shoes, and we got back to the car.
Unfortunately, mum had another appointment for herself, so I had to stay at their home for a while. All I really had wanted was to go home and rest a while... When we finally got home, I saw I had 4 missed calls (the phone was on quiet mode), and some voicemails. They were from the hospital. I tried to listen to a voicemail, but that woman had the most annoying voice, and the way she spoke to me, it triggered me in all the wrong places... She was so annoyed with me for not picking up my phone, as she called several times. Yeah, and I just had surgery with anesthesia, I was tired and in pain, and having a phone doesn’t mean I need to answer it at all times.
Things got triggered even more when she had taken the chance to already book me for my therapy appointments. At the day and time when I have my normal physio, which I really need now, after three weeks without… And yeah, I should call her on Thursday, as Wednesday was her day off. I just wanted to relax, wait for the painkillers to kick in, and try to get some sleep..... Instead of that, I was answering an email (as I also got an email about the appointments that she felt free to book because yeah, I didn’t answer). It was a cranky email, but I tried to stay as polite as I could, while being exhausted and in pain, and tired of the sh*t that medical folks seem to throw at you, just because they can. I wonder if anyone will see the email, and if they will respond. But I really don’t understand the urgency of that damned lady, and why she could not have waited till Thursday to call me, and try to schedule something that I could make work. It’s not life-threatening, and for heck’s sake, give people some time to recover from am surgery (and to get settled at home safe and sound). Ugh, yeah, my autism was banging my head against a big wall, about the way people deal with things these days...
After that, we could finally head to bed. It was late, well, for me at least. Both Koa and I were exhausted when we got back home. I fell asleep OK enough, and then a buzzing terrorist woke me up, as he zapped himself in the swatter (I had it on with the UV function). I went to the loo, asked Koa, who was not interested, and got back to bed. I woke up again when another terrorist 🦟 started haunting me. With some great efforts, I managed to get some deet on my neck, face, and hand. Shortly after that, the terrorist zapped himself, and that seemed to make an end to all the buzzing. I had let Koa out, but he wasn't too interested in doing things. He even went back to the crate on his own... I gave him some snacks, and he snoozed before I was able to make myself comfortable again. When I woke up again, the time startled me a bit. But even Koa was still snoozing, while I guess he must have been hungry. I know I was...
So, around 2, we got up, and I slowly started my “day”, trying to find the best ways to get dressed, take meds, feed Koa... It was going to be a challenging day for sure...
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
#PixysJourney
#WeirdFolks
#ActuallyAuDHD
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/117/041/414/876/517/815/original/f220a34c6d994724.jpg

2026-08-05 03:09:26 UTC

:kirby_prideheart: Ello sweet and lovely Friendos :purple_heart_sparkle:
Trying to write my journal Toot. But typing goes slow and it's a tad painful with my right hand...
Updatw on yesterday's adventures will come as soon as I can share it. 😊
And I'll try to check out all the notifications as quick as I can after that.
Catch you all later lovelies!
:pixy_party: 🫂 🩵 💜 🩷 🐾 :dogeparrot:
#PixysJourney
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/117/040/700/817/671/109/original/13c508fd9814ffea.jpg

2026-08-04 03:52:17 UTC

- reply

@nprofile…cm0q
Fankoos dear! It will be today here, I have to check in at the hospital in about 3½ hours....

2026-08-03 23:44:45 UTC

#Journal of a slightly anxious Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Monday, 03/08/2026).
I didn't have the best night. Meds that don't last long enough, a dog that needs potty breaks, I needed potty breaks, and then a buzzing terrorist 🦟 that bugged me several times. But it is as it is, and when Koa and I started our "day", we tried to make the best of it. And what a day it would turn out to be...
I wrote an email to my sweet friend. And then I had my brekkie. I took out Koa for a walk, and then I finished the journal Toot. I uploaded it to all the usual bits, and then put away the laptop. I managed to get a half hour walk in on the treadmill. Only at 4 km/h again, but still, I'll take it, as it does mean some progress.
I went upstairs, folded the laundry, took it down, and cleaned it up. I walked with Koa again, and then fixed some food for both him and myself. We went on another walk, and then I tried to relax for a bit. Until I remembered I still had to vacuum, so I got the little one. And then... Koa tried to help me again and again, and it hurt me, as it made it so hard for both my back and my hands. So, I yelled at him and sent him into the garden. I felt bad for it. But he does need to learn that no really means no, and not "just keep doing as you are"...
When I finished the vacuuming, I was so tired and sweaty. I needed some time to relax, before the coach would be arriving. When she did, we chatted for a while, has a little fun with Koa, and then arranged some of the paperwork that needs to be done in time for the city's approval and all.
The coach left, I walked Koa, and then I wanted some food before we had to leave to head to Nijmegen. I had just fixed some food, and then my phone rang. I just missed it because I could not answer with my mouth full, and I saw it was the hospital. So, I called back and... They has a spot open up for me... Tomorrow! Which meant I had about 15 minutes to arrange things and call them back with a yes or a no... Holy crap!
I tried to call my mum. And... Of course it went to voicemail 4 times in a row, making me so stressed... I tried the home phone, and that one she did answer. So I quickly tried to explain and ask, while mum tried to explain her side, which wasn't really helpful, as I was on a clock... But, we got things sorted, and I could call the hospital with an OK. After that, I called the neighbor, tried to explain the situation, and, thankfully, she was OK with being "on call", should I need help with walking Koa in the next few days. I have no idea how much pain/discomfort the surgery and cast would give me. I was/am so grateful for people helping me like that. 😊
But I was also stressed... My food had run cold, I had made so many calls, and now I had to sort everything out so that I would be all set for the surgery. I had to get the crate out, to take it to my parents, so they had it for when Koa was coming. I had to take myself and Koa to Nijmegen, as the hairdresser was coming. And I did need a good shearing 🐑 as my wool was thick, curly, and hot.
We arrived safe and sound. We chatted a bit about the upcoming surgery, and I was a bit stressed for all the silly ways things were going... My hair got cut, and mum and I were able to cut some of the hair between Koa's pads. He had longer hair there, and with the warm weather, and with grass ears (I hope this translation is correct) everywhere, it's good to be able to quickly either cool or check his paws. After that, Koa and I went back home. And I was very grateful for Skoosh her aircon system, as it was around 33°C.
We got home, I fixed food for Koa and myself, and I tried to contact the pharmacy ⚕️. Another call... And they were closed till 2, so I had to wait and try again. I managed another call, and they told me there had been a glitch in the system, and the orders from Friday had not properly come through. Hence me not receiving my meds before the weekend. I explained the situation, of needing the meds, and of the upcoming surgery, and not being able to drive then... She told me she'd contact the GP, to make sure that I could pick it up tonight. Yay!
I got ready for bed. I was exhausted... I was anxious, and a bit scared... What if this surgery would go wrong... 🫣 Ugh... Then, I saw I missed a call from the GP. I tried to call back, and didn't get through the machine. I had to wait to call back later. I was soooo done with calling. But things needed to be arranged... Ugh... I called back, learned about the call, things were set, and then I tried to get some sleep.
I slept a bit, had to use to loo. Slept some more. Koa needed the loo. And slept again, until a buzzing terrorist 🦟 kept bugging me over and over. So, I got up, earlier than I hoped for... And we started our long day... At least I'd have enough time to prepare everything, and triple check it of course, and have a proper meal, before I would not be allowed to eat (and drink) all I liked anymore... Surgery prep...
Hey ho, fingers crossed 🤞🏻 for a good and successful 🍀 day!
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
#PixysJourney
#WeirdFolks
#ActuallyAuDHD
#KoaKoolani
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/117/034/233/654/325/468/original/040f1a10e682d4ad.jpg

2026-08-03 03:02:21 UTC

:bowie_stardust: Ello sweet, lovely, and maybe also sporty Friendos :kirby_prideheart:
Well... That's two! 😁
Yesterday morning and just now, I managed a 30 minute walk on the treadmill.
It was only at 4 km/h, but seeing that a few weeks ago, I could barely crawl 200 meters due to my back...
I sweat like an idiot. And my back wasn't too eager, but it needs to start moving again. And a treadmill provides a steady pace and also a steady ground, so both are good for some rehab.
I really want to be able to start at the gym again soon... But part of me is very worried that some brown idiot will start calling out for me... And as I want to fitness in the night time... 🫣 But, if I don't try, I'll never know I guess. And that's why I paid for the tablet camera app, so I can monitor the dude. But if he starts when I'm at the gym, I'm still about 20 minutes away...
So, starting with the treadmill is a good thing, I guess. And I want to see if I can ride the bike as well...
This morning, before the coach comes, I'll need to do some groceries. I'm already dreading it, and I just don't understand why... 😔
This early afternoon, Koa and I will be in Nijmegen for the hair dresser, yay!
It will be a long day, and I hope all will go well. At least I managed to get some steps in. 😊
Have a lovely day today everyone!
:pixy_party: 🫂 🩵 💜 🩷 🐾 :dogeparrot:
#PixysFitJourney

2026-08-01 02:17:31 UTC

- reply

@nprofile…dyu0
Fankoos for reading and replying! 🩷
Sorry about your experiences... Yeah, it's no fun for sure. I just feel dead tired all of the time now, and I am aleady tired of being tired... 😔
I am trying to find all the info I can, and then I want to schedule an appointment with my GP, to ask about HRT... So far, I've heard positive things about it... 😊

2026-07-31 01:04:14 UTC

:kirby_prideheart: Ello sweet and lovely Friendos :purple_heart_sparkle:
It seems that Pixy's Journey is continuing on a new path. I know all life is uncertain, however well you try to plan. And I know that some things will happen, but you can never really prepare for them... As these things happen in different ways for everyone, with some overlap of course, and there is no "set pathway" to follow, to make things easier...
I've been experiencing symptoms that I have been dealing with for many years now. But... They were/are more intense. They are different than they used to be. And I got more and more frustrated at my incapability to deal with them properly. I got worse and worse, and I just could not understand why this all was getting so hard to deal with.
And then... I made the connection. I should have realized sooner, when the temperature regulation issues got worse (and it wasn't due to fibro flare)... I was born with an uterus. It's never been of use to me, as I didn't want to be a mom, and the monthly issues were a struggle, are a struggle, to deal with. But it means that my "main hormone" is estrogen. And, as I am 46 now... I am in the "zone" to start the decline of the hormonal bits...
I looked a bit online, and found out that many of my issues were indeed part of the peri. And... That people with ADHD may experience the decline in estrogen even worse, as it regulates, among others, dopamine... And, with most ADHD folks, the dopamine controls are already "out of the ordinary", so it can really enhance some negative effects of it all...
This is one of the sites that I found with info about this: 🔗
https://steadystatehealth.org/how-estrogen-decline-impacts-dopamine-and-why-adhd-feels-worse-in-menopause/
So yeah... Pixy's Journey has started on a new path, a new road in their journey, where they need to find ways to deal with the peri period, and then the menopause that will follow.
Someone has told me that, especially "us ADHD folks", could greatly benefit from HRT patches. But I know that many GPs aren't too keen on handing out these patches... So, before I dive in to this with my GP, I was hoping that other folks here, that are going through this, or have gone through this, could let me know about the patches. Did/dk you use them? And, if so, what are the main pros and cons of them? I'd like to be as informed as I can, so I can have a good talk with my GP, and so I know what I could be asking for.
Thanks in advance for sharing your experience!
:pixy_party: 🫂 🩵 💜 🩷 🐾 :dogeparrot:
#PixysJourney
#ActuallyAuDHD
#ActuallyADHD
#ADHD
#PeriMenopause
Edit: thought this Toot would reach the appropriate folks better with the proper hashtags, so I added them. Sorry I forgot to add them in the first place. Thanks for all the boosts (so far!). I really appreciate the support. :blobcatflower:

2026-07-29 06:03:55 UTC

- reply

@nprofile…cm0q
Same here. It was 16°C two hours ago, it's 21°C already now... Trying to keep the heat out too here... And be calm... 😊
Stay cool dear! 🤗

2026-07-29 05:28:48 UTC

:kirby_prideheart: Ello sweet and lovely Friendos :purple_heart_sparkle:
And soon... The wait begins...
Today, between 7:45-12:30, a handy-person 🪛 will come to our home to, hopefully, fix a few things that need repairs.
As I rent my home, it's all included with the coop, but it also means that they have the end decision to how to repair things, as it's still their house.
Which is OK with me, as long as it gets properly fixed... 🤞🏻
But... I hate waiting ⏳ especially when the "estimated time" slot is basically the whole morning, into the early afternoon...
So I'll have to be mindful when taking Koa out. The forecast says it could get to 33°C today, so it's "inside weather" for most of the day anyway.
Usually they text when the repair person is leaving the appointment before you, and heading your way. But, as you won't know where they'll be coming from, they could come in 5 minutes, but it could also be like an hour...
Ah well, I still have 15 minutes till the "slot" begins, so I'd best let Koa out for a quick wee...
Catch you later sweet Friendos!
:pixy_party: 🫂 🩵 💜 🩷 🐾 :dogeparrot:
#PixysJourney

2026-07-26 23:38:46 UTC

#Journal of a hot & cold Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Sunday, 26/07/2026).
I didn’t have a too bad night. Koa seems to be getting better at sleeping longer periods of time, which is a nice thing to happen… But, I did struggle with my body, both my back and my belly, unfortunately. So when I got up, I had to deal with that first, before I could get to the scale, dress, deal with my meds, and fix Koa’s food. When Koa finished his meal, we went to the couch, where I got my laptop, and started my email to my sweet friend.
When I was finished, I got some brekkie, and I started my journal toot. After brekkie was done, Koa wanted to head out for walkies, so we went for the SniffiVerse™ round. We walked a little different this time, adding a wee bit more distance. Koa did excellent, and when we got back, I hoped that he was tired enough, so I could finish my journal toot. It took a little longer than I thought, for Koa to settle down. I popped in the 5th Ice Age Movie, and then I was able to finish the toot. I uploaded it to all the usual places, and then I put the laptop away.
I used my phone to work on a blog post for a bit. When the movie ended, I took them upstairs, and brought a few Muppet movies downstairs with me. I popped one in the player, and watched it while I tried to relax. When the movie had ended, Koa and I went out on another little walk. When we got back, I fixed some food for Koa, and then I went upstairs to ride my bike for a little while. This time, Koa allowed it, so I managed to get half an hour in.
Back downstairs, I had some food, and Koa and I tried to relax for a little bit. I felt a bit like crap, as my temperature fluctuated again and again, and my tummy wasn’t playing too nicely either. I fixed myself some food, but before I could finish it, I got so nauseated… Well, we all know what happens then…
I felt even worse after that, and I decided to go to bed for a while. Not so sleep, but to calm down, and try to get my body relaxed again. I was really not feeling too well, and I was afraid that I’d not be in any state to help my friend with my mess when she’d come. I texted her and told her I was worried that I may not be in any state to help, but that I would try if she’d still be willing to come. And, she came…
She made a start on the cupboard, and told me to sit back, and make sure that Koa would not be in the way too much. Which I tried. We had a little break, and walked with Koa, and then she finished it all for me. It looked so easy, and I wish I could have done it on my own, but yeah… Nope… We chatted for a while, and then she offered to take out some of the weeds that had been bugging me. And, she went so fast, making it look so easy again. And, while I was super grateful for all the help, I also struggled a bit, because I felt so “stupid” for not being able to do these “simple” things myself. So yeah… It was a bit of a double set of emotions.
My friend offered to walk with Koa, and then she headed back home again. I was so tired, that, after Koa had his meal, we went to bed. I wanted to watch some Criminal Minds and try to relax my sore body. But, within a few minutes, I was already snoozing. When I woke up again, I startled myself, as I had not thought I was that bad… But, I got to the loo, put away my tablet, and I went back to sleep.
Koa is doing so much better these days, being able to sleep longer with less potty breaks. When I woke up again, it was still a bit early. Another hour, maybe two even, would have been very welcome. But, my body was sore, my tummy was upset too, and Koa wanted to go out now. So, we got up, and we started our “day” a little earlier than planned.
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
#PixysJourney
#WeirdFolks
#ActuallyAuDHD
#KoaKoolani
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/988/911/660/647/424/original/404f121680295452.jpg

2026-07-23 04:26:42 UTC

:kirby_prideheart: Ello sweet and lovely Friendos :purple_heart_sparkle:
You know you're exhausted 😮‍💨 when...
You can't recall if you fed your sweet puppy or if you only thought of doing it...
So, I fed him.
But maybe twice.
But better twice than never, in this case...
Still... I went to bed with my tablet to rest a bit... I'm clearly not all "there" at the moment... 😔
:pixy_party: 🫂 🩵 💜 🩷 🐾 :dogeparrot:
#PixysJourney

2026-07-22 04:49:35 UTC

- reply

@nprofile…cm0q
Well, most asmr drives me nuts as hell... But many of the natural (water) sounds in the MyNoise® app, they can be so soothing...
Fankoos, even though I had a decent enough sleep, I woke up being in more pain due to my back. And I notice that it's affecting my mood quite a bit. 😔
If I would not have Koa, today would be a day where I would get back to bed with my phone and tablet, and hide in the dark... 😢
I have gone on a longer walk with Koa this morning, so he got some sniffs and all. And I've cuddled with him and told him I love him way too many times... I still need to get to the exercise bike, but I need to find the necessary motivation. I want to do it, as it's good for me. But, I just feel so exhausted... Ugh...
Hope that you'll have a lovely day today dear :blobhaj_hug_blahaj:

2026-07-22 04:27:13 UTC

Hmmm 😔
At this moment...
I wish it would just rain 🌧️
And the rain would hit the windows just right.
And I could close all the curtains, lay back, and just listen do the rain, pounding on the windows...
Somehow, I feel that this would help me calm down, even though I don't feel worked up.
I sometimes use the MyNoise® app, and that helps.
But the real thing... 😊
Yeah, om weird like that at times...

2026-07-20 00:27:17 UTC

- reply

@nprofile…cm0q
Fankoos dear 💜🩵🩷
Well, I don't think it was a trigger perse, it was "just" another little thing happening, which flooded my filled to the brim bucket 🪣, as we say here.
We keep going, and the drops 💧 slowly fall into the bucket. Bit by bit, that bucket is filling up. Sometimes, something good happens, and some water 💦 gets taken out of the bucket again. But before you know it, more has been added again than that had been taken out... And on Saturday, seeing Koa chew on my favorite plush (which I've almost had for 20 years, and which I always sleep with), it was just a big splash into the bucket, and I lost it... 😢
I am glad that I realized what was happening as soon as I had started yelling, and I immediately switched into very ugly crying. I grabbed Koa as gentle as my anger allowed, and put him in the crate. I checked my plush, which was very moist bit, fortunately, still in one piece... I got the plush safe to dry out, and I just cried out for almost 15 minutes.
Ugh... I felt so guilty as soon as I started yelling, and I felt (feel) so ashamed to write about it, because it's bit good behavior... 😔
But I want to be honest in what happened. To myself, and to others.
Fankoos again 🩵🩷💜 for your kindness and support during my bad moments. It sure means a while lot! :bear_love:

2026-07-19 02:13:32 UTC

#Journal of an ashamed Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Saturday, 18/07/2026).
We didn’t have the worst night, but I didn’t feel all rested and good when we got up. Still, Koa told me it was time, so we started our “day”. I got to the scale, which was less bad than I thought it would be, and I dressed. I took my meds, which were very much welcome, and then I fixed Koa’s meal. When Koa had a full belly, we got to the couch, where I grabbed my laptop, and I started an email to my sweet friend.
I finished the email to my friend, and I had some brekkie. I started on my journal toot, and then I took Koa out for a short walk. It was cooler again outside, which was very nice indeed. We got back to the couch, where I finished my journal post, and I shared it to all the usual places. I put the laptop away, and tried to relax for a while.
I felt a bit uneasy, like something was bothering me, and I didn’t know what. Koa started to behave a bit like an asshat, trying to steal all sorts of things, and it was bugging me a lot. When he finally settled down again, I went upstairs to ride the bike for a while. Which went well enough. I got back down, and took Koa for a longer walk.
I noticed I was a bit more annoyed with him when he was not following properly, or trying to put everything in his mouth, you know, puppy behavior. And I just could not understand why it triggered me so much this time. I just thought it was because my back was still troubling me, and I felt tired as well. We got back, and then I fixed some food for Koa.
After that, I needed to relax for a bit. But… Koa was doing all sorts of things, and it triggered me so much, that I snapped. I felt that I was getting too angry, and I managed to pick up Koa and put him in the crate. But there was some yelling, I did smash a door, and I cried so much… I was just so overwhelmed, and I needed to take myself out of the situation, but I couldn’t as there was no one to “take over from me”, so I needed to fix things first… I felt so much anger, so much fear, and I knew I had to find a way to calm down again. I am glad, in a way, that I recognize autistic meltdowns better now, and I kinda know how to deal with them. But… Once I am calmer, I feel such a pain and shame…
I know that Koa wasn’t harmed, but I know I must have scared him, and I hated myself so much for that. I even tear up again while I am writing this. When I was calm again, when I had been able to breathe in and out, and reflect on the meltdown, I took Koa from the crate. He jumped into my arms, and he started to lick away all the tears that were falling… I felt so bad, so guilty, so horrible… And here he was. Just shy of 5 months, comforting me, not blaming me for anything… So I cuddled him as best as I could, while his fur was slowly getting wet and all. I was so grateful as I felt like he was forgiving me, maybe even apologizing for doing the things that made me so overwhelmed to begin with.
I started to feel a bit better again, and I took Koa out for a little walk. We got back, we relaxed, and then we got ready to drive to Oss, where I had to pick up my parcel. We arrived there well enough, but it was such a mess, that I had no idea what to do. I took Koa, and we walked to one of the men loading a van, and I just asked. My heart was going crazy, guess I still had not calmed down all the way from this morning’s bad episode. But, the man pointed me in the right direction with a smile. A little while further, 5 men were having some fun together, and all together, they pointed me into the same direction, all smiling, but also aware of the little bouncy dog that was with me. I managed to get my parcel, and Koa and I headed home again.
I unpacked the package, and took out the inlays. I cut them to the right size for my new shoes, and I saw that my old inlays were as dead as my old shoes. I put in the new ones, and then I fixed some food. A parcel with some snacks for Koa was being delivered, just before my food was done. I enjoyed my meal, unpacked Koa’s snacks, and saw they sent me something I didn’t order. It was something I could use, so yeah, I will just keep it. But I will need to find a place to order the things I do need now… So that’s some extra costs again, while the funds are not that high…
Koa and I relaxed for a while, and we went out for one more walk. Then, we headed to bed. I wanted to relax for a while, but I noticed I was so tired, that I dozed off before I knew it. I didn’t even get to finish my book, a Grisham one, that seems to take me forever to finish. Somehow, I have been trying to finish it for almost 2 months now. I wonder if I am slower with reading, if it’s a bigger book (and the digital pages are misleading, as they sometimes can be), or if I am just less interested in reading the last few weeks… But yeah, I dozed off and slept for a while.
I woke up for the loo, and Koa and I went outside. But, Koa wasn’t interested in doing anything, so after some minutes, we went back to bed. Koa woke me up for a potty break, and then, we got back to bed. He made some noises, but I begged him for some more sleep. And, somehow, he allowed me just that. When I woke up again, I was startled when I saw the clock. I checked my watch, and according to it, I had slept about 9¾ hours in total! Koa was very excited to hear me getting up, and I felt sore from the long lie in, but I also felt a bit more relaxed from the longer sleep. So, Koa and I got up, and we started our “day”.
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
#PixysJourney
#WeirdFolks
#ActuallyAuDHD
#KoaKoolani
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/944/221/715/256/752/original/ade9fafff495bc27.jpg

2026-07-16 04:41:19 UTC

:kirby_prideheart: Ello sweet and lovely Friendos :purple_heart_sparkle:
I'm sorry I've not been too active on my chats and here. I'm even struggling to write for my blog... 😔
I don't know why, but I feel like my spoons have been stolen, and the other cutlery is still on the dishwasher, which needs to run before the cutlery is ready to be used.
Why can't I "just" feel happier, have more energy, and have less pain? Is that do much to ask?
Currently trying to relax on bed with my tablet. I'm just too tired and the day has just begun.... 😔
Hope you're all having a better that than I have!
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 🫂 🩵 💜 🩷 🐾 :dogeparrot:
#PixysJourney

2026-07-16 01:11:56 UTC

- reply

@nprofile…cm0q
Yeah the companionship, the support, the safety, knowing someone cares for you... A sexual part can be good, but for me, it's not what counts the most. That connection with someone, understanding without using words... Yeah... I would not mind getting that back again.... 😢

2026-07-15 11:56:02 UTC

:kirby_prideheart: Ello sweet and lovely Friendos :purple_heart_sparkle:
#GoodAfternoon and #TZAG everyone :kirby_tired:
Koa and I are in bed. I'm scrolling Masto while re-watching one of my favorite series, Criminal Minds.
I have the doorbell ringer on, as the pharmacy ⚕️ could bring some meds later this afternoon... But I am not sure and don't know a time... So hopefully, if they do ring the bell, they give me some time to roll out of bed to get to the door in time...
It's been a mixed day, as I shared in my #GoodMorning Toot earlier today... I've been trying to take it easy. I didn't clean up the laundry, and I didn't ride the bike... So I really have to do that tomorrow.
I love Koa so much, and I would go to hell :blobcat_thisisfine: and back to provide him in all his needs! But... I miss Arwen so much, and knowing this day would have been her birthday... :parrot_sad:
I've been trying to provide Koa in all his needs. I got some groceries, although I also forgot some... 😔 I tried to connect with you sweet pocket 📱 Friendos, trying to like, boost, and even reply!
Some days, I wish I wasn't alone... I'm not interested in a really sexual relationship, that's not the most important thing when it comes to having a partner... I do miss the support, the help, the encouragement... Having someone to chat with f2f when you're feeling bläh, or even as bad as bläh²...
I'll try to write a bit to a friend while watching some more Criminal Minds. Maybe I'm still awake when (if) they come to deliver my meds...
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 🫂 🩵 💜 🩷 🐾 :dogeparrot:
#PixysJourney
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/923/862/985/103/787/original/bdbc0b51d43e9793.mp4

2026-07-15 03:50:31 UTC

- reply

@nprofile…cm0q
Hahaha Fankoos!! 🤗 And yeah... Koa's presents need to be wrapped up nicely :ablobcatangel: and taken to the bin... 😊

2026-07-15 02:52:29 UTC

Any more sweet 🩷 Friendos using the Finch app??
I'd love to get more friends (and maybe get a new pet as a reward!)...
And... If you use the link, you'll get a very cute pet! (I'm just a wee bit jealous, I love collecting pets... 😇).
This is copied from the Finch app:
> I picked a micropet just for you!
Tap this link or use my friend code TQQ9LSASVF4 for a special reward!
https://finch.go.link/fCZo9?adj_label=Sx5CF
#FinchApp
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/921/725/616/420/216/original/aaaf8c5482a96cd6.png

2026-07-14 03:14:34 UTC

- reply

@nprofile…cm0q
Fankoos dear 💜 I knie you're right and it's just me making more of it than it is. But I'm often afraid that people will think badly about me if my home is too messy... 🫣

2026-07-13 07:10:50 UTC

:kirby_prideheart: Ello sweet and lovely Friendos :purple_heart_sparkle:
Did the laundry.
Dishwasher is "running".
Walked a few times with my dude.
Waiting on my coach's colleague, as Steph is on vacation... A new person in my home...
A home that's messy and could. Be cleaner (cleaning with a herniated disc isn't the easiest thing to do... And I just didn't have the spoons 😔).
Wonder what will "happen" this morning, as I still have no idea what to expect from ASS-ADHD coaching... 🫣
Well... Wait... And see...
Ugh, wish I didn't feel so damned tired. Stupid buzzing terrorist haunting me last night 🦟.
Catch you all later lovelies!
:pixy_party: 🫂 🩵 💜 🩷 🐾 :dogeparrot:
#PixysJourney

2026-07-02 11:32:44 UTC

Feeling guilty for not walking Koa...
But it's raining like crazy... And I am finally feeling a bit warmer now.
He's just snoozing after a good meal.
My sweet little dude... 🥲
I really hope the GP can help me, and that I can pick up better meds at the pharmacy vault thingie tonight... 🤞🏻

2026-06-28 00:23:00 UTC

- reply

@nprofile…cm0q
Awwww :bear_love: yeah it's hard when you kinda know you're not doing a bad job, but you still struggle to accept any praise, because you always feel like others would have done a better job at it... 😊 At least, that's how I often experience it. I always turn down positive feedback, as it should and could have been better...
Sorry you're dealing with that too. Even though I'm sure that you're really good at what you do, otherwise you would not have managed to keep it up for 20 years! :blobcatflower:
@nprofile…m83t

2026-06-27 04:14:46 UTC

:kirby_prideheart: Ello sweet and lovely Friendos :purple_heart_sparkle:
#GoodMorning and #TZAG everyone :blobcat_cowboy:
It's cool! For a short amount of time, at least, and then the heat will be turned on again.
I spent part of the night working on some of my blog posts, and I have several lined up already. :ablobcatangel:
As I shared before, it always feels good when I have some ready to be shared, as some days, I just isn't have the spoons and/or the ideas to write about stuff...
In Tuesdays, I share the journal toots. And the other day, early in July, that's still empty, that will be my monthly fitness post. I've been worming on it already, but I can't finish it yet till the end of the month/the start of the new month.
My writing isn't the best. I know... And I know not too many people see my posts. Which makes it even more special when people here engage with my blog toots. When they like my posts. Even boost them. Comment on them.
As I shared before, and I'll keep sharing again and again, these interactions mean the world 🌐 to me! And I can never thank you enough. :bear_love:
My blog sends out a Toot when a new post goes live. I usually try to boost the toots from this account. Should you want to follow it, check out @nprofile…m83t :bear_hugs:
I will keep writing, as it helps my mental health tremendously! And it's fun to share stuff... At least, for me it is... :blobcatflower:
Thanks for your support! It means a lot, and it helps me to keep going, to believe that I matter, on days where I struggle the most. :moomin_flower2:
Catch you all later lovely ones!
:pixy_party: 🫂 🩵 💜 🩷 🐾 :dogeparrot:
#PixysJourney
#AmWriting
#Blog
#Support
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/820/127/582/920/736/original/161220a6fd917bff.jpg

2026-06-25 06:10:59 UTC

I just saw my neighbor with her dog. This afternoon, he will cross the rainbow 🌈 bridge... He's really given all he could... I gave him all the scratches I could, with Koa nearby. I'm sobbing 😭 now, I'll miss the black 🖤 fluff so much...
My neighbor told him he's going to join Koa's little sister, and Arwen... 😢
I know that it is good for him to cross. But, even knowing you're doing the right thing, doesn't make it any easier...
It's been almost a year since I had to say goodbye to my gall... And I still miss her like crazy...
Today is a good day to keep the curtains closed, and to sob in the darkness....
I hope the big black 🖤 fluff can rest in peace... 💔 🪽 🌈 🐾
Edit: had missed a typo due to the sobbing...

2026-06-22 10:19:31 UTC

I wanted to make this a followers only Toot at first, but I decided to keep it open, as I may not be the only one dealing with this...
I'm no stranger to depression. I have dealt with several autistic burnouts the last year... Or maybe I just never fully recovered and I kept being dragged into it again and again. I've been diagnosed with C-PTSD, and am waiting for support with that.
I am single. When my marriage ended, I was severely depressed, and I tried to end it all... I made it back to the more positive side of life... It wasn't easy, but I did it. I made several improvements. I was so proud. I was able to get a new home, a better home than the apartment I had. But, a move to a little town with less to offer than the old town had. But... I had to get out of my apartment, I needed a new start somewhere else...
After less than a year in the new place, I needed (another) hip surgery. All went well, until it went all wrong! I endured the worst pain ever for 5 long hours. Another surgery. And threw days later, my furry soulmate passed away. It was a week of hell! 😭
I've been trying to hard to recover! I do "the right things", I work as hard as my body and mind allow me to... And there were some improvements, but they never seemed to last...
I hate my current state of "fitness", as I'm obese, I lost most of the strength I had built, and my body is hurting more than I can handle for over 3 weeks now...
I am exhausted! I love my little dude Koa! ❤️ I really do... But I guess I never realized how hard raising a pup in your own would be, especially now my health is not the best. I am proud of my boy, and he is doing his best... And I hate myself for thinking that I really want to have one good night's sleep, where I'm not barked awake to go potty... It's not Koa's fault! He's still a young one, he will be 4-months old this Thursday. He's still learning. He's still growing and developing. I need to be patient, and I hate myself for "needing him to hurry up" to suit my needs better...
Arwen's black 🖤 fluffy friend will cross the rainbow bridge at the end of this week, which has me in tears loads of times...
I am struggling with the puppy class, and I'm almost reluctant to go there, because I can't handle the way the classes go, and I wonder if it's me not being able to keep up, or the teacher not being accommodating to my needs (even though I told her about it on the registration form...).
I feel like I am broken. I struggle to enjoy the good things with Koa. I struggle to get some decent sleep. I can't properly relax. I have a headache most of the time. My back is just hurting, and it makes my leg hurt along with it. I feel like I want to give up...
With the warmer weather, I have everything closed off during the day, to keep the heat out as much as I can. I do enjoy the darkness. But it makes me want to just go to bed and relax there... Frak the world... Just let me be on my own, let me recharge my battery, let me hide from the difficult and bad things...
But... I have Koa! I need to take care for him. And then I cry again! Because I see a similarity of when I tried to OD, and I had Arwen to care for, to keep me going... And now, I want to give up at times, not at life all the way, but just take myself out of it all for a while, so I can finally find some peace... And now there's Koa that needs me to keep going...
Thank you to all who support me! I'm sorry I'm not the happiest person right now... 😔 I try to like and boost your toots, to show you I care! :bear_love: and I want you all to know that your likes, your boosts, your replies... They truly make my bläh² days a bit better, for which I am really grateful. :blobcatflower:
:pixy_party: 🫂 🩵 💜 🩷 🐾 :dogeparrot:
#PixysJourney
#MentalHealthMatters
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/793/250/307/979/599/original/beeba5fcb94933b7.mp4

2026-06-21 03:50:52 UTC

:bowie_stardust: Ello sweet, lovely, and maybe also sporty Friendos :kirby_prideheart:
Well, my back, leg, Koa and the warm room didn't stop me... And I managed to ride my bike on the lowest level for 30 minutes! 💪🏻
Koa got his meal after that, and we managed a little walk in the rain ☔.
Then, Koa decided to get his naughty game on, and my hand was it's victim...
One bandage 🩹 goes, the next one follows... 😂 Koa makes sure of that! Well, I still bleed, so I guess I'm still alive and all that. Haha 😂.
Hope you're all having a good Sunday! It's going to be another hot day here, with a forecast of 29°C (it's 19°C now).
Hopefully Koa and I can get in another walk or two, before it gets too hot again. But first, I need to relax a bit, after the ride and the walk (and the fangs 😂).
Catch you all later lovelies!
#PixysFitJourney
#Recovery
#FitIn2026
#FitTogether :blobcatcheer:
@nprofile…flnx

2026-06-19 12:52:30 UTC

- reply

@nprofile…cm0q
Owww yeah I didn't mind most deaths in the walking dead series 🫣 hence my wondering about certain characters doing to me what's usually "reserved for animals", the big sobs... Even though I know it's not real.... 🫣
Fankoos for sharing with me! 💜

2026-06-19 11:45:19 UTC

:kirby_prideheart: Ello sweet and lovely Friendos :purple_heart_sparkle:
#GoodAfternoon and #TZAG everyone :mastohot:
I was wondering if this is an #ActuallyAutistic thing but...
With most TV series and movies, I don't really care if people pass away. Animals, on the other hand... They have me sobbing like crazy 😭.
But!
There are several characters in certain series and movies, and even though I know they'll pass away (in the series, and some also for real), they always have me in tears...
The worst is the passing of Downton Abbey's Dowager, played by Dame Maggie Smith.
Then, I always sob when I watch Person of Interest, when Detective Jocelyn "Joss" Carter, played by Taraji P. Henson, passes away. I really liked her character a lot!
The passing of Lee Thompson Young, who played Detective Barry Frost in Rizolli & Isles is bitter sweet, as he ended his own life at the age of 29. The episode where they say farewell to him, it always has me in tears, knowing they were saying goodbye for the last time for real... 😭
But yeah, I wondered if this is something NT people also experience, this deep bonding with a TV character, and crying every time the characters pass when you re-watch the series they were in... Or if it's more an ND thing, as I don't know many people that can burst into tears for a TV character. 🤔
So yeah, I was in tears again, as I'm currently re-watching Person of Interest. 😢
Catch you all later folks!
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
#PixysJourney
#WeirdFolks
#ActuallyAuDHD
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/776/600/747/300/114/original/200cad25be3f3ef5.mp4

2026-06-12 04:20:24 UTC

:blahaj_gamer: Ello sweet and lovely (gaming) Friendos :cyber_heart_sparkle_purple:
Well, if I want to use this account for my gaming stuff, then I'd better start sharing some gaming stuff. 😉
A older picture I took of my 3 GameBoy Advance Shrek games, with the first movie as well.
I'll try to share more of my older "collection pictures" here with you. I don't have a huge collection, and it's not really what people would call impressive... But! It's mine. 😇
:playstation: :pixy_party:
#PixysGaming #Gaming #ShareYourGames #GameBoy #Nintendo #Shrek
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/735/215/117/769/957/original/7282c7715e801daa.jpg

2026-05-23 08:34:36 UTC

My #AuDHD is at it again...
Yesterday, I received the small Koa poster, and I put it in it's frame.
I wanted to hang it today...
But it will require me to do some things, move annoying items and such, to get the materials I need to hang it.
And my brain is like "nope, you've already changed the bedding, I'm tired enough now".
So yeah... I have the frame all ready, but I just can't push myself to make the effort to get the hammer and nails, and to measure where the nail should come and... To hang the frame.
I just feel so exhausted 😮‍💨.
Ah well... There's always tomorrow? 🤔 Or so they say...
#ActuallyAuDHD

2026-05-22 22:50:16 UTC

And I just sent a small donation to the beige.party instance as well...
I didn't have much to donate, but I hope that my two small (one time) donations help to keep the instances running!
Thanks to @nprofile…9gey and to @nprofile…7v70 for all their hard work, and for allowing me to share my online journey with them! I really appreciate all of it! And all of you!
Remember to tip your instance when you can.
And... I am not sharing this because I want pats on the back. I am sharing this because I want to show how important it is to give back to a community that gives to me as well. I am not rich in any way. But, when I can, I like to send some money to my instances... 😊
#TipTheInstance #SupportFedi

2026-05-05 08:57:06 UTC

- reply

@nprofile…cm0q
Haha he has the look of innocence all worked out... But the sounds of his teeth nibbling... They warn me that looks can be deceiving. 😇
It's hard to stay mad, but I will warn him, and crate him, when he keeps his naughtiness up. 😉
He's a wonderful dude, and I sure hope that he's enjoying himself in his new home, with me. 😊

2026-05-05 05:57:43 UTC

#Journal of a happy Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Monday, 04/05/2026).
We didn’t have the longest night, but I got about 7 hours of sleep, so I guess it’s not too bad. Koa and I started our day in the “usual” way. Koa got his meal, and then I had to crate him for a bit, as he was getting too mischievous. I got my laptop, and I wrote my journal toot. After that, Koa and I went out for a little walk. And then I wrote an email to a sweet friend.
I went out to the garden with the little dude, and I offered him his ball, so we could play for a bit. He really enjoys the play time, and he seems to like it when I act a bit crazy trying to “capture” the ball from him. We had a bit of game time, and then we headed back inside. I had to crate Koa again, as he kept going under the couch, and he kept nibbling on it again, and again. When he was in his crate, I got my brekkie.
We tried to relax a bit. I read my book for a while, and I had shared my latest book-toot, as I had finished another book last night, The Testament by John Grisham. As we’d gotten up earlier, I fixed Koa’s lunch a little earlier. Then, around 11, mum texted me that she was coming our way. So, I got everything ready, and we went to the grassy field behind the house. My bag and cooler were in the trunk, and we walked around the field. Koa left me a big prezzie, so I had to get back to the garden again, to throw away the baggie.
When mum came, she switched to the back of Skoosh, Koa joined her, and we headed back to Nijmegen. We were there in time, and Koa and Bas had their second meeting. After some insecurities from Bas, he learned that he could actually play with Koa. And, while Bas sometimes pretended that Koa was killing him 😂, I think they had a good time playing together.
After our hair was cut, mum and dad would watch Koa for a bit, and I could go to the store for a few things. Of course, dad made sure to do something that he should not do (let Koa out of a crate while he was whining), but… He was “rewarded” for that with a wee in the living room… I wasn’t home when it happened, so yeah… When I got back, mum and I took Koa to Skoosh, and we headed back to Herpen.
Koa was dead-tired, and tried to sleep all the way home. I then put him in his crate, to sleep some more, and so that mum and I could work a bit on the garden. We put some big root fabric on the empty spot next to the shed, so that Koa could not dig around anymore for roots and stones. Mum went home when we were done, and Koa and I relaxed for a little while.
I fixed him his food, and he slept some more. When he woke up again, it was a little earlier than our usual bedtime. But, as we were both tired enough, we went out for walkies, and then I prepared everything for bedtime. It took a little while for Koa to doze off. I read a little while, and when I finally dozed off, Koa woke me up for a wee.
After that, it took 5 hours for the next potty break! When I saw the time when Koa woke me up, I was rather amazed at it. It was raining a bit, and Koa did his thing. After some whining, he got back asleep again. After 90 minutes, he woke up, and needed another wee. Again, 90 minutes later, he woke me up again. But, he had to do a big number 2, so I was glad that he had woken me up. He wanted to stay up, but it was too early for me, and I still felt so tired. So, I asked him for another 90 minutes. He fell asleep again. When he woke me up again, it was 6am already! We had a long night together. According to my watch, I got about 10 hours of sleep in.
So, we got up, and we started our day. The scale wasn't too bad. And it was dry again, which was nice as well.
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it 💜 as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
#PixysJourney
#WeirdFolks
#ActuallyAuDHD
#KoaKoolani
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/520/430/007/880/720/original/ddd553abdfb8735a.jpg

2026-04-06 01:07:42 UTC

#Journal of a Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Sunday, 05/04/2026).
I had a decent enough sleep, I woke up once for a short time, but then I dozed off again until my alarm woke me up. According to my watch, I got almost 8 hours of sleep, so not too bad at all. I got up, grumbled at the scale, and I got dressed. I took my meds, packed my bag, and I headed to Skoosh, so we could skedaddle to the gym.
I enjoyed my protein shake while I checked in with my social bits and bops. Then, I got to the recumbent bike. I rode it for 25 minutes, and then I followed it with 15 minutes on the treadmill. After a massage in the chair, I switched my shoes, and I got ready to head back home again.
Back home, I washed up and got to the couch. I grabbed my laptop, and I worked on my journal toot. A bit of blog writing. And some relaxing, while re-watching Scandal on the telly. I read for a bit, and then, I headed upstairs, where I rode my bike for 24 minutes.
I made some food, relaxed some more, played a bit with some AI. Even though I had a decent enough night, I still felt rather tired. So, I took it easy with telly and TV.
When the neighbor texted, I headed out for a short walk, cuddles, and snacks with the big black 🖤 fluff. When I got back, I got ready to head to Cuijk. I made a pit-stop at Lidl, to get some groceries. Then, onward to the pups. When mum had parked as well, we headed to the door, getting ready for many doggy cuddles! 🤎
The pups were snoozing a lot, but mister white (paw) got up and he wanted all the attention and cuddles. He was joined by beige, and after that, more of the pups woke up. The cute fluffy ones were testing their teeth a lot again, and sometimes, they got some mean bites in… We got in many cuddles, and I took some videos and pictures.
Pupdate news: Joke had some news for me/us, which was understandable, but it did make me sad a bit. She was trying to set a date for the pups to get their chips. Once they have those, she can take them to the vet for titer tests, to make sure that they are protected well enough, so they can head out in the world. But, if the chips will be placed later than she hoped, she won’t be able to get everything ready in time to meet the dates for the pups to be picked up. No just for me, but for other pawrents as well… So yeah, if she can get things sorted in time, it’s all going as planned. But… It looks like there may be a delay in it, which means it will take a few more days to a week, before I can take Koa home… Fingers crossed 🤞🏻 that she can get things sorted in time, but she didn’t feel too optimistic about it, as the one that does the chipping had not been the best in communicating lately… 😞
After the pups got their kibble porridge, mum and I got ready to head home. I had “homework”, as I would need to write about my favorite pup, why he was my favorite, and what I was planning to do with him, what kind of character was I looking for… I’ll have to text Joke this before Wednesday, as she will get the testing and naming done then… Hopefully I will be able to get my number one, or number two… 🍀
I got home, and I got ready for bed. I was tired enough, and a bit sad due to the pupdate news. It didn’t take me too long to doze off. I woke up once for the loo, and then I slept until the alarm told me it was time to get up. So, I got up, the scale was a bit kinder to me, and I got dressed, ready to start my “day”.
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it 💜 as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
#PixysJourney
#WeirdFolks
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/355/082/598/341/388/original/aab24991979cbf02.jpg

2026-04-01 02:29:46 UTC

:kirby_prideheart: Ello sweet and lovely Friendos :purple_heart_sparkle:
#GoodNight and #TZAG everyone :dogeparrot:
It's been a decent "day" for me so far. I tried a few shorter exercises at the gym, and that went better than when I tried to push for a longer exercise time. It still isn't much, but at least it felt a bit better now.
I've been working on uploading my pics and vids from yesterday. And a few vids that were taken by Joke. Some I've shared on PeerTube, and some on Pixelfed. But all are on my Flickr page.
I didn't finish all the descriptions yet. I was working on them, but a started to get a headache, so I'll have to get back to working on them some more later. It's hard when I can't see, or remember, which pups are in the snaps, as I want my descriptions to be as accurate as I can get them.
I'm watching, well, re-watching, some more "How to get away with Murder". I love that series... 😊 After this episode, I'll get my Kobo and read for a while. I want to finish a blog post for next Friday, but it's about ¾ done, so it should not be too hard to finish.
Today, at 11:30, someone from the city will come, to talk about my request for help. He texted me yesterday, and let me know he had some positive news for me. 😇 I can really use that!
Thursday, mum and I will go to Germany a bit earlier, if mum manages it, as it will be a busy day in the shops here, due to things being closed this Friday (Good Friday). I need to get some things for my friend's visit this Friday. 😊 And they promised me to help with a few chores in the house, so while I love that they come to visit me, I love them wanting to help even more! :neomouse_hug_blahaj_heart:
Well, let's read a bit... Hopefully that won't make my head any worse...
Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it 💜 as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
#PixysJourney
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/327/093/771/260/426/original/f0ba62077b2a7d6d.jpg

2026-03-26 03:40:49 UTC

- reply

@nprofile…ml9f
Wow it's so wonderful you got to experience this together with her, and with the pup. It looks like you had a wonderful day together. I've never been to Yosemite, but a good friend of mine has, and he loved it loads! So I can understand your love for it as well. 💚 Thank you for sharing!

2026-03-10 04:54:32 UTC

Pixy's "silly" thoughts...
I've lived in an apartment since my divorce. The place wasn't bad, but for an AuDHD like me, that's *extremely* sensitive to noises and smells... The situation with my neighbors surrounding me, made me feel very stressed at many times.
For a few years, I dreamt of a little house. A bit more space then the apartment. Ground floor entry. No people below and above me, especially near my bedroom.
I tried to get places in my old hometown, which was very suited for me in many ways. But, being single, I didn't stand a chance.
I responded to the housing project I now live in on a whim, I applied for a place around 5AM, on the day where the registration closed at noon.
I didn't expect anything of it. But... In the end, I got the last available little house!
There have been ups and downs here as well. The neighborhood is still a messy area under construction. The gardens seem to love the weeds that used to grow here more than life itself. 😂
But... I was able to give Arwen a good and comfortable home for the last year of her life... And, I have more privacy now, less noise and smells, than I had to endure in the apartment.
Still, loads to be done in the home, but I have time, as I'm not planning on leaving anytime soon...
My silly thoughts? 🤔 Ow yeah, sorry, I wanted to give a little background first...
Often, when I walk down the stairs, I think to myself: it actually happened, I have a little home with an upstairs as well... 💜
The thought makes me grateful and happy. It also makes me a bit sad, because I had hoped to have more time here with Arwen... 😢
But yeah, walking down the stairs, feeling grateful for my little rented house, that I may call my home...
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
#PixysJourney
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/203/092/141/793/438/original/7e341c8eff202e1a.jpg

2026-02-14 01:14:47 UTC

- reply

@nprofile…ryrt
Owwww looking nice already! Good job. 💪🏻 Hope you got that special peanut butter for Ajax. Have a good night! 🌜

2025-12-30 10:01:39 UTC

:bear_guitar: Three Good Things :bear_dance:
This year has been a lot of crap, well, for me at least... I endured the most awful pain I've ever experienced, both physical as emotional... It was horrible and left me scarred. 😔
So now, I'm trying to think of 3 good things to, almost, end this year with.
1. During the worst of times with Arwen, and after her unfortunate death, many of you lovely people here helped me, both financially and emotionally, to deal with her loss (and the costs). For that, I'm immensely grateful. :bear_love:
2. After the most physical painful event, the most emotional painful event followed. I was fortunate that my mum was with me, both during the dislocation, as when things went downhill with Arwen... She stayed with me for several weeks, making sure I wasn't alone, and I got the help I needed after these horrific traumatizing events. For that, I am also immensely grateful. :ablobcatheartsqueeze:
3. As I'm alone, and chronically ill, I'm not able to do everything I need to do in my little rental home by myself. This year, some friends have come over to help me with several things. And, they promised to help me some more next year, to get things sorted that I can't manage alone. Again, I am super grateful for their help! Without them, I would not have come as far as that I am now... Still loads to do, but less now, thanks to them. :bear_hugs:
#Grateful :ablobcatangel:
#ThreeGoodThings
#3GoodThings
@nprofile…w8q8

2025-12-26 09:32:11 UTC

- reply

@nprofile…as30
Fankoos 🫶🏻 it is really exciting for sure... I know things can always go wrong somewhere, and all that... But I am trying to be very optimistic and I hope all will go well for sure! 🤞🏻 🍀 🐾 💜

2025-12-26 07:48:52 UTC

Owwwwwww 🎉
Yesterday, I got a message from my male ex. His partner is the one who is going to be the breeder of my "new puppy". The mum-to-be had come in heat a few days ago, and on the 24th, her levels were at the "right height" for the best moment of her meeting up with the dad-to-be...
Yesterday and today, Mats and Gentle will meet up for some loving moments... 😉 And hopefully, this will mean that in about 9 weeks time, Gentle will be able to give birth to some new labs... 💜
They usually make an ultrasound around week 3/4, to have an estimate of the number of little ones growing in the mum's belly...
And, hopefully, one of them will be a wonderful little gall that I may welcome into my life & heart, and 8 weeks later into my home...
If all goes well between Gentle & Mats, this could mean that the puppies may be expected around February 26-28 (it's no exact science, but a Lab usually takes about 9 weeks before they are born). Which will then mean that around April 22-25, I may be able to pick up this little one and take her home with me... :ablobcatheartsqueeze:
I downloaded the snaps of the mum and dad from the breeder's website. And there is some info on them as well:
Mum:
Gentle Gaby From The Purity of Lotus (Gentle)
Born on 30 September 2023
Das:
Choco Revelation at Road of Princes (Mats)
Born on 3 mei 2024
Owwwww..... This is so exciting and I really hope that everything will go well... 🍀 🐾 💜
To be continued... :flying_hearts:
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/115/784/766/689/811/528/original/3db88805e290a204.jpg
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/115/784/766/740/962/789/original/d9499a3f98cf0eec.jpg

2025-12-25 07:17:37 UTC

Well... It's Christmas...
So: Merry Christmas to all that celebrate.
In a little over an hour, I will pack up Skoosh with loads of bags (one would think I was going on vacation for several weeks, haha).
Tonight, I have tried to distract myself a bit. But I am not doing too well...
I made several new edits of some of my favorite Arwen pictures, to share these holidays. I know her body is gone to ashes, but her soul still lives on... It's just so hard to hug and kiss a soul... :blobcatSad:
I hope that you will have a wonderful day today, whether you celebrate today or not. Thank you so much for your kindness and support. You made me see how much Arwen was loved, here on the Fediverse. She touched many hearts, and I hope that she'll live on in those hearts, as she was the most gentle soul to have walked this earth...
I don't know if I will be online much today... Depends on how things will go at my parents' place.
Catch you all later everyone!
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
#PixysJourney
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/115/778/975/195/031/666/original/31b21005b84fcaa9.jpg

2025-11-10 23:08:50 UTC

:kirby_prideheart: Ello sweet and lovely Friendos :purple_heart_sparkle:
#GoodNight and #TZAG everyone :darkmodeparrot:
I'm at the gym already, as I had to get up a little earlier due to Bas being with me. We had a nice night, I was a bit warm at times, as Bas decided to snuggle up with me during the night. Every time I had to go to the loo, he got all excited, haha. And then he'd calm down and get back to snoozing. 😊
The scale was a bit unkind, which I didn't really understand, as I didn't snack yesterday, and I didn't eat that much. But yeah, hormones and all can do weird things, so I guess I'll just try to keep doing the right thing. Hopefully it will work again. 🤞🏻
As the seated bikes were too busy, I walked the treadmill for 15 minutes. I don't want to stay away too long, so a massage now, and then I'll head back to Bas. After some brekky for him and me, we will go out for a walk, so that will give me some more exercise time. 😊
Around ten, I'll drive to my parents and I'll bring Bas home. And then, onwards to Cuijk for my physio. Hopefully my PT can get some muscles to loosen up some more... 🍀
Well, let's enjoy the massage and then I'll head back home again. Back to the little black fluff. Catch you all later dears!
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
#PixysJourney

2025-10-17 01:56:42 UTC

For some reason I'm struggling to start writing my journal Toot... Head is hurting a bit as my tinnitus is so loud at the moment... Even the TV sounds can't distract me as much as they usually can.
I've been dealing with the annoying beeps for about 33 years now. And it never gets easier... 😔 Some days, when ear pressure is bigger and the beeping are way louder, it even is harder to deal with...
I sometimes wonder how it would be if I could hear silence again... That's what I miss most... That it's never silent in my head. :blobcatverysad:
#Tinnitus

2025-10-13 10:35:26 UTC

Well.... I've had enough for today... After a coughing fit made soup come back through my nose... I just fell done for now...
Putting the phone on silent.
Starting a series in it.
And be in bed. If I sleep... I must need it...
Thanks for all your support :blobcatflower:
I really hope to feel better soon... I've had enough of this already... 😔
Catch you all later!
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾

2025-10-05 06:44:20 UTC

:kirby_prideheart: Ello sweet and lovely Friendos :purple_heart_sparkle:
I have been using Nordvpn a while because, back in the day, it came highly recommended. So when I needed a VPN again while I was also dealing with a depression, I just went with what I knew.
It offers a lot of options and I never had many issues with it. But I read toots on here that the company wasn't "all that". So when I had some issues with my VPN and anti-virus, I looked for a new one that I could afford (and that would offer multiple connections and operating systems.
I found one through the Dutch Consumentenbond, and I am using it now. It's a basic VPN, which is good enough for me, as my anti-virus also offers several protection options.
Fingers crossed 🤞🏻 all goes well with the new VPN. The speeds seem good enough, so that's good too.
For the ones wondering, I am using VPN Nederland now. 😊
Grabbing some food and then I'll have to hoover. Catch you all later lovelies!
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
#PixysJourney

2025-08-28 19:45:40 UTC

:kirby_prideheart: Ello sweet and lovely Friendos :purple_heart_sparkle:
#GoodNight and #TZAG everyone :kirby_tired:
Well, it's been quite a day... Walkies with mum and Bas, grocery shopping at the REWE, visiting the Burg with my mum (and taking many snaps), walking Bas, writing some bits and bops, walking with Bas some more (yay for rain, /sarcasm), and working on getting some decent texts to add with all my snaps...
I've managed to get texts for about 36 snaps tonight. And I still have about the same amount of them to go...
But I need some snoozing first. And tomorrow, mum and I will visit the HD store, which I'm kinda excited about... 🧡 Usually, I'd get a t-shirt for a good friend there, but he just spent loads at his HD store and there's no money for a shirt... That's what you get when you buy a flashing green Harley 💚 no more money for clothes haha!
Hopefully I can snooze some tonight... Am tired enough. Managed to get another 11k steps in, and that included quite a few stairs as well (going down and up in the "Glockenwelt museum", and going up and down in the towers of the Burg). Fingers crossed 🤞🏻 for a nice sleeping score...
Have a good night everyone! :kirby_sleep: catch you all later!
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
#PixysJourney
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/115/108/108/009/888/615/original/b2a0250d7e837861.jpg

2025-08-28 09:11:54 UTC

#Journal of a good but tired Dutch Pixy :pixy_party: (Wednesday, 27/08/2025)
I woke up just before the alarm was set to go off. According to Health, I slept for almost 7 hours in total, with a sleep score of 87. My energy score wasn't too bad either, as it gave me a score of "excellent" 90 points. So, according to Samsung, I should be ready for a new day. Hey ho, let's do this!
I got up and got dressed. I texted mum that she could let me know when she was ready for me to come and help. I played a bit on my phone when mum texted and I went her way. When she was ready, we walked with Bas. A visit to the bakery for some fresh buns, and then back to the rooms. Mum and I ate brekky and then we got ready to head to Herborn for a wee bit if sightseeing.
The trip there went well and the parking was nice and good. And also, compared to the Dutch prices, very cheap! We didn't know how long we'd need, so better be safe than sorry, and we paid a whole €2 for 5 hour parking. In the Netherlands, you're luckty if you can get an hour or 1½ hour for that money. And in some expensive cities, you can barely walk back to the car after getting your ticket before the 2 Euros have been blown away 😂 . We walked to the center, or the "Altstadt" ("old city") and we browsed a bit while I took an an occasional snap here and there.
When we had seen a part of the area, and mum was getting tired, we passed by an ice-cream restaurant. Mum and I went in and I treated us to a nice coup with ice, fruit, and whipped cream. I had the strawberry one and mum wanted a kiwi one. It was delicious 😋 . After that, we walked back to the car. We still had plenty of time, but mum didn't have any spoons anymore.
We made a stop at a big Rewe Center in Herborn on the way back for some groceries. When we got back, I walked with Bas and then I sat down to write an email, write my journal toot, and to start making some alt texts for my images on Flickr. After a while, I borrowed mum's laptop and I edited some things on Flickr that I could not do from my tablet. Around 15, I walked a wee bit with Bas again.
After that, mum came to my room for a bit, so that I could safely shower. I relaxed a bit after that, and around 17:15, I walked one very short bit with Bas again, as we'd be going out for dinner this evening and Bas was allowed to come with us.
Dinner was with two friends of my parents, so it was a lot of German and a lot of "back in the days...". The meal was very nice though, and I was the only one to finish my plate. 😇
After dinner, mum and I walked a short bit with Bas. Then I went to my room and prepped everything for bed. I watched some Downton Abbey while I abused the AI some more to make texts to go with my snaps of Herborn. I wanted to write a good night toot for Masto and then go to sleep. And it took me way longer than usual as I kept making all these stupid mistakes due to being too tired...
So I put away the phone and tablet and I tried to get some sleep... 💤
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
#PixysJourney
#WeirdFolks
@nprofile…m6x5
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/115/105/615/976/987/458/original/52239ced02826750.jpg

2025-08-28 05:03:31 UTC

:kirby_prideheart: Ello sweet and lovely Friendos :purple_heart_sparkle:
#GoodMorning and #TZAG everyone :blobcattea:
I had a reasonably OK night, although when I woke up just a few minutes before the alarm, I felt like I could have slept a wee bit more... My sleep score was at 86 and my energy score at 87, so I guess I've not done too bad.
Todat will be a wetter day, according to the weather forecast app. I did bring my umbrella and rain jacket, as I had seen the forecast when I was packing my things. So it should hopefully be OK enough, but of course it's always better when it's more dry... 😇
Only today and tomorrow left here, with tomorrow being a day where we'll visit the HD store, and hopefully I will be able to find something for myself and for my sweet HD riding friends. 🧡 On Saturday, we'll be packing the car again and driving home. First to Nijmegen, and there I will need to pack my things to Skoosh and then head on to my empty house in Herpen. 😢 It will be hard to come back to that...
I know that, if all goes well, and if my acquaintance that breed choccie Labs will have one suitable, that I will be able to love a new gall somewhere next year. But they expect the mum to be to be in heat in January, then it will take ±8 weeks for the pups to grow and be born, and then another 8 weeks before they may be able to go to their new homes. So that's at least 16 weeks from somewhere in January. Which means that, if I am lucky and she will have a puppy for me, it may be late April or early May before I will be able to love a new gall again. As it's almost September now, it means that I will have to be patient for some time to come.
I also know that I need so save money to pay for a puppy. And I need to buy puppy things, as when I divorced, I didn't get the puppy things we had left from Arwen, so I need new bits for the little one as well. I made an extimation to how long I may have to wait, and it may be around 240 days, which translates to about 34 weeks, which can feel like a very long time to have an empty house. Especially since it's been almost 8 weeks now since I had to say goodbye to my gall. :parrot_sad:
It feels weird, but even before Arwen passed away, I already had a name in mind for a new puppy. It felt like I was being unfaithful to Arwen to already "know" the name of her successor, but sometimes you just hear or read a name and that sticks to you. Like how I knew that I wanted my first Lab to be called Chance, and like I knew my second Lab would be Arwen...
I have to get ready to help mum and walk with Bas, so heading out now. Have a good day everyone! :moomin_flower2:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
#PixysJourney
I added an old little vid of Arwen and Chance, hopefully @nprofile…4als can help me, as I am getting a bit emotional watching it... 🥲
As the bot didn't reply, I've tried to make a small description myself.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/115/104/639/255/573/817/original/723e03cb4dee62b3.mp4

2025-06-20 07:37:03 UTC

#Journal of a slightly anxious Dutch Pixy :pixy_party: (Thursday, 19/06/2025).
The day started OK enough. I got up, took meds, dressed, walked with Arwen. I tried to relax a bit, and then I got my laptop out. I emailed the hospital to see if I could change the day of an appointment. Then at 8, I called the GP.
Told the assistant about the leaking in the plaster, and that it felt a bit more sore. They scheduled the GP to come visit me in the afternoon. They also ordered some meds for my tummy. So that was arranged.
Around 9 I walked with Arwen again. Then I got an email from the hospital and the appointment was set. Yay. I relaxed a bit as a friend would be coming over to visit me. So I wanted to be a relaxed for that. 😊
When my friend came, we walked with Arwen together. Then we had a drink and chatted about loads of things that had happened the past week. Then we walked Arwen again. She had to go home, and I had to wait for the GP to come visit me.
The GP came around 15. She checked the wound, called with the hospital, and an appointment was made for me to draw bloods the next day. I arranged everything with mum and thought it was all set. Then, the hospital called me. Could I come in earlier for the blood work? So... I called mum and wanted to walk Arwen.
While I was walking Arwen, the hospital called another three times. To make things easier on me, I guess... Ugh. So I was all stressed out now, and I had to pack my bag again. Every time they called, the story changed a bit, so I was rather anxious and a bit confused.
Mum came to pick me and Arwen up. We brought Arwen to my dad, and headed to the hospital. I had to check in at the ER. Tests were done, blood was drawn. The wait began. An hour is a long time when you're anxious...
The results came back, and they were inconclusive... I needed to have more blood drawn the next morning. I could go home. And then have mum hussle around early on Friday because of the traffic. Or I could stay the night and then have it all done in the morning. So... I made things easier on mum (and me) and I stayed the night.
I got some food and meds. I tried to relax with a series on my phone. After a while, I tried to catch some sleep. I woke a few times during the night, for the loo, or because one of my roommates was snoring... But, I made it through the night, and a new day began. A big day, as it would tell me... Home, or OR? 🍀
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
#PixysJourney
#WeirdFolks
@nprofile…m6x5

2025-06-19 08:07:49 UTC

:kirby_prideheart: Ello sweet and lovely Friendos :purple_heart_sparkle:
It's been quite a busy morning. Walkies with Arwen, calling the GP's office, mailing the hospital, another walkies with Arwen... But, so far, I have gotten some things done and sorted, so that feels good.
The GP will come to visit me this afternoon, they could not give a time, but probably between 14-16. They'll check out my plaster on the wound, as I am a bit concerned about it. And seeing it should be coming off this weekend, I would rather not have any surprises then... 🫣 Those would never be good surprises. They will prescribe me more satchels for my tummy, and I need to take some extra ones. If all goes well, they should delivery the satchels tomorrow, but I have no idea about the time... Hopefully they will send me an update with a time slot, as mum is coming over tomorrow and I need some groceries then.
But it's good to know that the bandage will be checked. If something is wrong, hopefully the GP will catch it, and they'll be able to act accordingly then. I do hope that my tummy will start working properly soon again, as it's getting a bit sore after a week without any real movements... 😔
A friend should be coming over later this morning, that should be fun. It's already getting warmer outside, so I guess I will have to close the window and last curtain soon. But it's worth it to keep the warmth out as much as possible.
I just took a nice (I think) snap of Arwen during walkies. I'll see if I can upload it to my Pixelfed :pixelfed: and boost it here then. :ablobcatangel:
I hope you're all having a good day. And for those that are in the same warm weather as we are, do stay hydrated! :blahaj_relax:
Catch you all later folks!
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
#PixysJourney
Ow and yeah, if I can, I will try to reply to UPJ 😉 I've not forgotten about you! It's just been a busy morning... ☀️

2025-06-19 05:52:00 UTC

#Journal of a slightly worried Dutch Pixy :pixy_party: (Wednesday, 18/06/2025)
I had a slightly better night. I slept a bit before bedtime was around, took my meds and gave Arwen her meds, let her out for a last short walk, and then I went back to bed. I slept a few times for a few hours. And then the alarm woke me up, so that startled me a bit. I got up, got dressed, let Arwen out, took my meds, and fed Arwen. After that, I fed myself and wrote a bit for my blog. Even though I had a decent enough night, I still felt a bit bläh. But hey, it's less than a week since my surgery, I'm allowed to feel bläh 😉.
I checked the social media and I tried to reply to all my friends. I tried to relax a bit, until it was around 9, and Arwen wanted walkies again, The weather was already getting warmer. Arwen and I had a decent walk. After that, I sorted out my wee bit of laundry. I was going to start the machine before my mum would come, so she could hang it out for me when she would get here.
I tried to clean up some bits and bops. And in between, there was resting and more resting. Around 11, I started the washing machine and I took Arwen out for a walk. When the laundry was done, I took it into the basket, and set it ready for mum. Arwen wanted a short walk again, and then mum texted me that she was on her way.
Mum first hung the clothes and such. Then, we went to Schaijk, to pick up my meds. Unfortunately, not all the meds were in the machine, so we had to wait for the pharmacy to open to pick up the rest. Mum and I visited a little store where mum got some things. Then, the pharmacy was open, and I could pick up the rest.
When we got back, mum hoovered the downstairs area, while I drank one of the satchels for my tummy. It's getting rather sore, so I can't wait for the bowels to start producing again. Well, I guess they are doing that, it's just not coming out (sorry, TMI). But that makes for a rather sore belly.
Mum headed back home after that, and I walked with Arwen. Then, of course, some more relaxing. I wish my days were a little less boring than that these days. 😇
I watched some more telly and let Arwen out a few times. We had food and some light snoozes. I slept a bit during the early evening. When I woke up, I was rather tired. So I took my meds, gave Arwen her meds, and let her out for the last walkies before bedtime.
It didn't take too long to fall asleep after that. I woke up a few times during the night. Around 4, I woke up because of Arwen. She indicated that she wanted to go out, so I pulled on pants, and we headed out. She did all, so she didn't wake me for nothing. Then I slept again, until a few minutes before my alarm was set to go off. A new day has begun... ☀️
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
#PixysJourney
#WeirdFolks
@nprofile…m6x5

2025-06-18 06:09:55 UTC

#Journal of a slightly tired Dutch Pixy :pixy_party: (Tuesday, 17/06/2025)
My night was a wee bit better. Still broken due to discomfort and loo visits. But I felt like I got some more sleep than before. When I woke up around 5:20, I got up and started my day. Got Arwen out for a wee. Then I got my meds and I fixed Arwen and myself some brekky.
Bestie called me on her way to work, and we had a nice chat. When she got to work, I relaxed a bit with some telly. Then, my sweet neighbor came to help me with my sock and shoe. So sweet of her. I worked a bit on my blog, and then it was time to walk with Arwen.
We had a nice walk together. The weather was starting to get warmer already. I tried to relax a bit when we got home. I keep checking my HR and my blood pressure.
Around ten, I called the hospital. I asked the nurse about the blood in my plaster and about the elevated HR. She wrote an email to the doc and said that he'd call me back, probably at the end of the morning.
So when I was out and walking with Arwen, when we almost got home, my phone rang. The timing! 😂 The doc said that the HR should be stable and if it goes up, then I should contact the GP. The blood in the bandage was to be expected, due to the blood thinners and me moving more now. And he prescribed me new satchels for my tummy. So I'll need to pick those up tomorrow with mum.
I fixed some food for myself and then I relaxed a bit. 😊 I did my best to keep calm. And to get plenty of rest. I know I need to be mindful of the rest, otherwise I'll push myself too hard! And that won't do me any good...
We had walkies with N&B and they were nice. I had changed my pants for shorter ones, as it was rather warm. So I was showing off the sexy legs. 😇
Then I was waiting for DHL to come with my elastic laces. 😊 And then, while I was waiting, I watched some telly. The yellow van came, the lady jumped out, put the parcel in the mailbox, and drove off. So yeah, all that crap from last night was just big BS, as was to be expected.
I got the laces and got to work. First the good shoe (from my left foot), so I could try it out. My hands didn't like it at all, my thumbs hurt so much... And then I had to do the right shoe as well... Ugh... But! I managed it and with some trying, I got the shoes on. 😊
So of course I had to try them out and Arwen wanted walkies, so that was a win-win. 💪🏻 After that, I needed some time to relax. Again. That's the downside of getting a surgery. Needing to relax more... And not being able to cheat... 😇 Because that would not be beneficial...
Arwen got some food and then we relaxed a bit. Just some telly time, all the curtains closed as it was warm and bright. I snoozed on and off a bit. Let Arwen out for a short walk, and then I snoozed some more. I was so tired. Also because I had not been able to snooze the previous evening, as I was waiting for that silly parcel...
I slept a few bits and then I woke up just after 22:30. I got meds done for Arwen and myself. Then we headed out for last walkies. Bedtime after that. It didn't take too long for me to fall asleep.
I woke up a few times, but it wasn't a really bad night overall. Then, the alarm told me that it was time to get up and take care of Arwen. Ready for a new day to start.
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
#PixysJourney
#WeirdFolks
@nprofile…m6x5

2025-06-17 04:35:41 UTC

#Journal of a slightly improving Dutch Pixy :pixy_party: (Monday, 16/06/2025).
I had a slightly broken night again. I tried to sleep on my sides, using the pillow I have for it. I managed to sleep for about two hours on either side, which made a big difference for my back. I woke up some times for the loo as well. My stomach was rumbling loads, but there was still no "positive action" happening. But it did make me feel like I had to "go" more often. Around 5:20, I got up and started to care for both Arwen and myself.
I dressed and let Arwen out for a wee. Then I fixed Arwen and myself something to eat. After that, I let Arwen out for a small walk, while on my fake crocs. But it allowed her to do her thing, so that's the main thing. It was recycling ♻️ bag day, so when we got back, I gathered the bag, and stumbled out with my crutches to get it to the side of the road. When we hobbled back, our friends N&B came around the corner, so Arwen had some hugs and sniffs. We could not join them as I didn't have any shoes on yet.
We got back inside and a while later, bestie called while she was on her way to work. We chatted about last weekend and it was a fun chat. Then, I got my laptop and I worked a bit on my blog post. I will be glad when I can use the PC again, but as that needs the stairs (and the chair is still wonky as I haven't had time to replace it yet), I rather play it safe now and use the old laptop.
Around 8, a sweet neighbor came over and she helped me with my sock and shoe. Arwen was all excited, but she had to wait till around 9, before we went for walkies. But then, she was a lucky dog, as we met up with N&B again and there were nomnoms. We had a nice walk together.
When we got back, I got to the bed for a while and I tried to relax a bit. Walking with Arwen feels good, but it also takes a bit of energy to do so.
I tried to be on social media a bit. And I tried to sweep the floors, as there was sand everywhere and I didn't want to risk my crutches sliding over it. It was *very* challenging, but I managed to get some sand off the mats and floor. I switched between relaxing on the couch and being on social media or going out for short walks with Arwen.
I still felt a bit woozy at times. My blood pressure seems to be a wee bit better now, but I think the blood thinner meds are slightly elevating my heart rate. Which then messes with my head a bit. Maybe I will just need to get used to the meds, or maybe this is how the next 4 weeks will be. But I guess it's better to be woozy a bit than to get thrombosis... But it is weird to have a higher HR without much stimulus for it to be there. But, for instance, usually my sleeping HR is between 58-84. The higher bits are usually when I have to go to the loo or when I had a bad dream. The new watch gives a slightly different overview, but it says my average HR was 77... So I kept checking my BP and HR at times. Sometimes I used my watch and sometimes I used the BP band that I have.
Around 11, we went for a short walk. Then some more relaxing. Another walk around 13:30. We saw N&B and Arwen was very delighted, as there were some nomnoms. I tried to relax as much as I could. My stomach kept rumbling, but still, no "action" was happening from it.
I had ordered elastic laces for my shoes, so that, hopefully, with those, I would be able to put my own shoes on and off again. I chose Amazon because they had promised to deliver it the next day. Of course, they made it an evening delivery. So, I had the ringer on, and I made sure that I wasn't snoozing in the time frame that they'd given me for delivery. Then, all of a sudden, I got an email saying they were sorry, but they had not been able to deliver it because I wasn't home. Euh, what now?! I immediately filed a complaint and I even checked if the doorbell was working... I had not seen or heard a delivery van. Arwen had not seen or heard a van stop in front of the house (we had the window open, so it would be something we'd both be able to hear). After I filed the complaint with DHL, I got an update from Amazon. Apparently, the driver had not wanted to leave the parcel unattended so they had not left it in front of the house... What? They had not even been to the house... Plus, it's shoelaces, I bet that it could fit in the mailbox if it needed... They promised a new delivery on the next day between 10-18. Well, let's see if the daytime deliery person wil take the effort to find the house. As I am guessing that's the whole issue. Several roads here are broken up, so they need an alternative route. And I think the driver didn't think it was worth the time and effort.... 🤔
So, I was disappointed and angry. I needed the laces, as I wanted to experiment with them. I want to be able to get my own shoes on without needing the neighbors to help me. And I was angry at the full out lie they used for not being able to deliver it. Would I have been away, OK, but here I was, sitting and waiting... And nothing... No one... Ugh...
I tried to relax a bit and even fell asleep for a bit. Then, I got everything ready for the bedtime routine. I took my meds, gave Arwen her meds. I took Arwen out for a last wee. And then I headed to bed.
I slept on my left side for about two hours. I didn't dare to sleep on the right side, as I had seen that there had been some more blood in my bandage since I tried that. After the two hours, I went to the loo. Arwen was licking a paw, so it took some effort to use the ointment on her warts. And then I got back to bed and I slept till around 5:15.
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
#PixysJourney

2025-06-16 06:37:24 UTC

:kirby_prideheart: Ello sweet and lovely Friendos :purple_heart_sparkle:
I've been home for two nights now. And, it's not been too bad! I'm still waiting on my bowels to get moving again. But I have the powders for that, and the tummy is rumbling some, so it may happen sometime today... I know, tmi... 😉
I've tried to sleep on my sides a bit. And it was a blessing for my back, even though I could not lay on my sides too long. It did feel good to have a different position for a bit. Yay for having the knee pillow, making it possible to try and sleep on my sides.
I got a sleep score of 70, and a total sleep time of about 6½ hours. I've slept on and off, so guess that's why I have a lower score and less time slept. But, it's better than it was the last night, so making some progress. 😊
Around 9 I'll take Arwen out for another walk. Let's see how that will go. I do want to write a bit for my blog, so hopefully my head will clear up some more so that I can sit and type for a while later on.
Fankoos :bear_love: to all that have been supporting me with sweet and kind messages. 😊 I really appreciate it! 💜
Catch you all in a bit!
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
#PixysJourney

2025-06-16 05:25:06 UTC

Good morning lovely Friendos 💜
I've just shared my journal post about yesterday. I hope I didn't make too many mistakes, as somehow I am still a bit drowsy when it comes to typing and reading. So also sorry if I have never replied to your comments to me, if I have only liked them. I am trying to catch up again, but it's challenging when it's hard to focus on the text. Hopefully, given another few days, these drugs will have left my system and I will be able to write something more coherent again. Or, I can try to write more coherent again :ablobcatangel: ,
I will contact my PT today and see what kind of plan he will be able to come up with. As I got a different kind of hip cup, I am allowed more things now, so I can slowly build up things with the help of my physio. So, I will need to check with him, and then check with mum, as I will need her to drive me to the appointments.
Around 8, a neighbor will come to help me with my shoe and sock. If all goes well, the elastic laces should come in today. But I don't know what time, and I will probably need to practice with it before I will be able to use it on my own. But, I am already so very grateful that some neighbors are willing to help me so much... I still feel so bummed that I thought I had arranged help and then they "just" tell me that it's denied on the day that they sent me home. I feel like such a burden now... 😔
I know I need to re-read the long DM from UPJ and see if I can write a decent answer to that. It's quite a challenge when you have trouble focussing. And yeah, I have been taking my ADHD meds. It's just all the narcotics from the surgery that are still wearing off. Ow, and I need to check my blood pressure in a bit.
I hope everyone will have a good start of the new week. Let's see how this will go for me... I do hope that my head will get a bit more clear soon so that I can write some "decent" toots and blogs again. 😊
Catch you all later folks!
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
#PixysJourney

2025-06-16 04:29:03 UTC

#Journal of a slightly tired Dutch Pixy :pixy_party: (Sunday, 15/06/2025).
I got up after a broken night. Probably because I had been sleeping a lot on Friday, and I had not been too active on Saturday, so it was harder to really sleep on Sunday. I slept on and off for about two to three hours at a time. And then I had to visit the loo and move my body a bit, as I was sleeping on my back, and I am not too good at that. When I got up, I tried to care for Arwen and myself. Taking meds, letting Arwen out for walkies (short ones as I was on my little clogs), feeding Arwen and myself.
I got my tablet and I tried to write a bit on here and for my blog. And, I had ordered some elastic laces, so hopefully they will arrive soon, and then I may (hopefully) be able to get my own socks and shoes on. I may need to practise some... I asked a few neighbors if any of them would be willing and able to help me with that one sock and shoe until then... Bummer that they declined my help request and never even let me know. I really thought I had it all arranged... 😔
I tried to relax a bit. And around 9, a neighbor and her son came, and he helped me with my sock and lace. That way, I could join his mum and their dog on walkies with Arwen. Then I relaxed a bit, and tried to work on my old laptop. I had not used it in a while, so it wasn't too keen and it needed loads of updates. But, in the end, I got done what I wanted to do.
Then, my mum came. She took me to the supermarket, where I got a few groceries. When we got back, we went for a short walk with the dogs. It was very nice to be able to walk and my leg really felt rather well.
Maybe it was because of the infection, but this time, it feels a lot better than last time. Maybe also because they only set me up with a new cup, not with a new pin as well. It does feel sore, of course! But, way less than 4 years ago, for which I am very grateful. With this hew cup, I am even allowed to try and sleep on my side, if I use a (special) pillow to keep my pelvis and legs straight. I already have such a pillow, so that's a big plus. So that's what I will try out later tonight.... 😊
When mum went home, I took some time to relax on bed. I walked Arwen again, and then tried to snooze a little. When I woke up again, I made some food for Arwen. I let her out, and then I made some food for me. Getting that laptop table with the little wheels was a very good idea. It's a bit clumsy to ride with it when you also have two crutches, but it gets the food, drink, and other things, from the kitchen to the bed, and vise versa.
I was very tired, so I dozed a lot during the early evening. Then, I took my meds, have Arwen her meds, and we went out so she could do her things. After that, we got ready for bedtime.
I tried to sleep on my sides, and it worked for about 2 hours at a time. It was a bit sore, but also a relief for my back and shoulders. Especially as my shoulders are struggling a bit with the crutches and all that,
I woke up every two-three hours, and went to the loo, changed my position, and then slept some more. I woke up around 5:20, and then I got up and ready to start the new day.
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
#PixysJourney

2025-06-15 05:10:06 UTC

#Journal of a mostly drowsy Dutch Pixy :pixy_party: (Saturday, 14/06/2025).
It was a weird night. I woke up every two to three hours. Either for the loo, or because I was getting a tad sore. And around 3, they wheeled someone into the room, which is never the best sign... I dozed, on and off, until it was time to get up. I got brekky and then I took my meds. After that, I got help to the bathroom for some freshening up.
They moved my bed and added a chair for me. They were very busy with the young lady in the room. As I wanted to give them some privacy, I used my headphones to watch series on my phone.
Then the physio came and she observed that I knew it all already. 😂 As was to be expected. She was pleased with the results. Back in the room, I had to get to the bed, so they could take me to radiology. The xrays went fast too, as I knew what to do there as well.
Back to the room again. I watched my series some more, and then mum came. There was talk of me going home today already! Which was unexpected but also very positive.
But then also came the bad news. The help I thought I had arranged got denied. So... No help for my socks and shoes and jabs. Well, I would be given pills instead of the jabs. They had some downsides. But it meant no needles. But yeah, the shoes and socks could be a thing...
There was also good news on the new cup! With the one they used now, I don't have to be 100% off my leg for 6 weeks. With the physio, I am allowed to make a plan to get into the rehab bit by bit... Yay! But it also means I can do some more things a bit easier on my own. 😊
The surgeon (another one that didn't do the OP) talked it all through with me and my mum. And then... The wait began! We needed to get the discharge papers. And the prescription for the meds. Unfortunately, it took 2½ hours to get those papers! And then, we needed to wait a bit at the pharmacy.
Arwen and Bas were very glad to see me again. 😊 Mum and I went for a short walk with the dogs, so Arwen could do her things before we drove to Herpen.
When everything was unpacked, mum and I walked another short walk with Arwen and she did all she could. Yay for that! Mum went home after that, and I tried to relax a bit.
But my new watch had arrived and I was eager to play with it. So, of course, that's what I did first. 😇 Although I did do it while lying on the bed.
I dozed off for a bit while watching TV. Then I made myself some noodles. Some more relaxing with a wee bit of snoozing. Then it was time for both Arwen and my meds. I took Arwen our for one last wee. Took my other meds and brushed my teeth. And then I tried to sleep a bit.
I slept on and off for about 2-3 hours. Just like the previous night. Then I was awake for a bit, and I tried to write my Friday journal Toot. 😊 Some more snoozing after that, until it was time to get dressed and start the new day.
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
#PixysJourney
#WeirdFolks
@nprofile…m6x5
Hopefully @nprofile…4als can help me with this xray snap.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/114/685/654/170/625/507/original/2e0e83c2fc4eb529.jpg

2025-06-15 04:42:49 UTC

I tried to write a journal Toot this night about last Friday. I'll try to write one about Saturday in a bit. I still struggle with typing at times, making many mistakes. Some I see. And some... Well, I miss... 🫣 Sorry in advance for the silly typos. But I'm trying.
I had a mixed night. Some shorter bits of sleep, like last night, where I woke up in between because I was getting stiff n sore. Or because I needed the loo.
Managed to feed Arwen and myself. And used my simple clogs to take Arwen out for a short walk, as I can't get on socks and tie shoelaces just yet. And because I thought I was getting help for that (which was denied... 😔), I didn't get some things... I did order some elastic laces for my shoes tonight but they'll take a few days to be delivered. Ah well, I'll just use the clogs for short walks. And maybe I can ask N if she can help me with shoes so we could try some walkies together? 🤔
I'll text a friend in a bit. She offered to help with some groceries, and I do need to get a few things tomorrow. So maybe she will have some time and energy to help me with that. 🤞🏻
Let's see if I can start writing the journal Toot after that...
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
#PixysJourney

2025-06-15 02:45:23 UTC

#Journal of a slightly nervous Dutch Pixy :pixy_party: (Friday, 13/06/2025).
I had gone to bed a little later. So, of course, I struggled with sleeping a little longer... At one point, I just got up and stated my night. My brain was so busy of all the things that I should remember. All the things that I would have to do before going to Nijmegen later on. I'm sorry to say that some of the details may be a little hazy, but I am writing this on Sunday, and I have had some meds and all that don't really help with memory function... But, I will do my best to share what I remember about this day...
I gave Arwen her meds and then I let her out to wee. We went back in, and I took my meds. I was on restriction and not allowed aything, except for certain types of drinks, up until 6AM. I fixed some food for Arwen and then I took her out for walkies. We took a nice selfie together, I also tried to get a nice snap of the moon.
When we got back from the short walkies, I tried to pack my things so I would not forget anything. Some things were put on their chargers. And I did my best to not eat anything.
The laundry I had done on Thursday was dry, so I took that off the rack and folded it all. Then I headed to the PC and I worked on my blog a bit. Then, back downstairs. I cleaned up the laundry and then I unloaded the dishwasher. When all of that was done, I relaxed a bit on the bed.
I checked my bags to see if I had packed everything. Then, I slowly got it all into Skoosh. One more walk with Atrwen, and then we headed to Nijmegen.
There, I unpacked Skoosh, and I gave my mum the key and papers (well, plastic cards). I won't be able to use Skoosh, and that way, they have an extra car, should I need help and should dad be gone with theirs. When all the things were packed into my parents car, except for Arwen's things, we headed to the hospital.
As it was early, we got a decent spot to park at. I got the bags out and the crutches, and then we headed to the check-in. We found the location and had to wait for a while. My tummy was annoying me with making rumbling noises. After a short while, I was being picked up and the prep for the OP started.
Blood was drawn, I got this lovely surgery jacket on, and I got my wristband. My mym got the small bag with valuables, and then I was being picked up to get to the OR prep room.
They tried to get an IV line in, which of course took several tried, and man, that hurts so much! Then I had to wait for them to wheel me into the OR. The prep continued there. But, of course something went wrong and I felt like I almost died in there. They pressed a cap over my nose and mouth and said it was extra oxygen. But I could not breathe at all! I had one hand free and I hit that mask, gasping for some air, They checked the settings and saw that the pressure was too high, which caused this to happen. After this, things went better (fortunately), and I was off for my snooze.
When I woke up, they spoiled me with some water ice popsicles. They always feel so nice after that hose that's been in your troat... When I was all awake again, they called for transport to take me to the room. I was so tired that I kept dozing on and off again. I knew that my mum had been called, but when I had not seen a sign of her in two hours, I asked if they could call her again for me. Seemed my dad was doing his usual thing again, preventing mum from coming over right away. Ugh...
Then she finally came and I had my phone and headphones. When mum left, I got the headphones on and snoozed a bit with some music on. Apparently I was snoozing a bit too well, as at one point, I got a scary shock when someone pulled my headphones off, and I saw three people standing around the bed. It appears that the lady nurse had not been able to wake me, so she asked for help. Damn, that was a scare! 😂
I got some food and meds and all, and for a while, I dozed in and out of sleep. Around 19, my parents came to visit me for a short while. After they had left, I went back to dozing in and out of sleep.
I had a room all to myself, but during the night, a young lady got brought in. I managed to sleep a bit, on and off again, and I visited the loo a few times. And then, it was time to get up again and start a new day.
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
#PixysJourney

2025-06-12 23:25:59 UTC

#Journal of a slightly stressed Dutch Pixy :pixy_party: (Thursday, 12/06/2025).
I woke up about 40 minutes to the alarm. I gave Arwen her meds and then I got to the scale and dressed myself after that. We went out so she could do her things. I took my meds, and then I prepped Arwen's meal. I got my bag and headed to the gym for the last time in some weeks to come... 😢 I'm sure I'm going to miss that... But, this surgery should make sure that I can get better again and workout with less to no discomforts. My leg giving out so often is no fun at all. 😔
I got to the gym, and tried to answer the messages I had. Enjoyed my protein shake, and then I got to the seated bike. My leg wasn't enthusiastic. After twenty minutes, it already started to tingle. Probably thought it had done enough and that it was time for that surgery! 😂 After ten minutes in the massage chair, I said my "goodbye" to the gym for the next 6-8 weeks. It will be hard not to be able to go... 😔
I headed back home, washed up, had brekky. Then Arwen and I headed out for short walkies. There was a beautiful moon. Later I learned that it was called the Strawberry 🍓 Moon, https://www.timeanddate.com/astronomy/moon/strawberry.html, and I read that it would be one where the moon would be closest to earth for some years to come (https://www.space.com/stargazing/junes-full-strawberry-moon-illuminates-the-night-sky-next-week-heres-how-to-see-it).
We got back and I started to prepare some more things. I went upstairs to work on my blog a bit. I prepared the washing machine so it could run this morning. I started to cut the leek and mushrooms for the pasta sauce I was going to make. I didn't have onions, so I would have to get one when the store opens.
I wrote a bit for my blog and I wrote a long message to a sweet friend. A very long message! 😂 Then I sorted my meds and I checked my beauty case so I would have all that I need in the hospital. I got my crutches down, and I sorted through some stuff. Like getting the recycling ♻️ things in the right bins and boxes, and filling the boxes of Arwen's snacks... Little things that will be helpful when I am restricted with the crutches.
After the 6 o'clock walkies, I started the washing machine. I was hanging up the bits when bestie called on her way to work, so we had a nice chat. Then I got ready to walk to the store. I got the onions, and headed back. When I wanted to go to the vet to pick up Arwen's meds, she had to join me. So, I took her along. She waited in the car while I got the meds, and then we got back home again.
We went for walkies, and met up with N&B. Which pleased Arwen to bits! 😇 We got back, and I cut up the onion. I cut the other two as well, and put them in the freezer in a bag. Mum can use them for her sauce as well. Otherwise they'd just be getting bad... Then, I started to clean up the couch. My neighbor texted that they were getting ready to come over. Yay! They helped me with the couch. Then I showed the bits of the house that are going manky, as they wanted to compare a bit. They left and I made the bed.
Then I got all the things for the sauce and started preparing that. I had it all done and cooling off in bins when I saw the truck pull up with the bed. The guy set it all up, he was very nice and then he headed to the next customer. I made the bed and then I relaxed for a bit.
Arwen and I had a short walkies with N&B. Then, things were a bit different because I wanted to go to bed later so I could sleep a little longer. I watched telly and chatted with a friend. But it was hard to keep awake and Arwen was wondering why the snacks didn't come! 😂
Around 17, I let Arwen out for the last wee and then I got to bed. It took a while to fall asleep. I woke around 20, needing the loo and being sweaty. It was a warm night! Then I woke up again around 23. So I went to the loo again and made use of the time to give Arwen her meds. I tried to sleep again, and I got a wee bit in, but around 23:45 I was awake again and my body was all tense. So, I got up and ready for a long night...
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
#PixysJourney
#WeirdFolks
@nprofile…m6x5
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/114/672/976/470/264/716/original/e7b61bfc28f47c51.jpg

2025-06-12 22:32:54 UTC

:annoyingdog: SniffiVerse™ walkies Toot :dogeparrot:
Ello everyone! Of course I was up earlier than planned. No gym. No food... Just certain drinks and I could take my meds. Walking with Arwen now.
Saw I had some lovely messages and I will try to reply to them tonight, but I have a few chores that I have to do, so sorry if I can't get to answering everyone... I truly appreciate it all! :bear_love:
It's a warm night, probably also why I struggled with getting some sleep. It was just too warm. It's still 20°C at the moment, and tomorrow it should be 30°C! Glad the hospital has aircon...
I don't feel too nervous yet, just very tired. When we get back, I'll need to take a shower and then I can relax a bit... I'll go out for another walk with Arwen before we have to go to Nijmegen. And I do need to hoover, so I'll do that just before that. 😊
I've almost packed everything, just need the chargers and things. Ow and my little sheep of course! 😁
Last night of walking. No crutches. Not too much discomfort. Things will be so different 12 hours from now... 🫣
Thank you to all that sent their best wishes!!! I really appreciate it :flying_hearts: it means so much...
Let's take a selfie to add to the Toot and then I can send it. Catch you all later folks! :darkmodeparrot:
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
#PixysJourney
#EyeContact in #Selfie
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/114/672/767/723/036/446/original/7a8d79d599442755.jpg

2025-06-11 23:08:19 UTC

:annoyingdog: SniffiVerse™ walkies Toot :dogeparrot:
We're back for a last SniffiVerse™ walkies for now... Tomorrow we'll have a different time schedule and after that, it will be a lot different for many weeks... Which will be quite a challenge. Mostly for me!
I'll definitely miss taking the selfies with Arwen and walking through the night when it's peaceful and quiet... 🌕
Tried to take a snap of the moon, but my phone's AI was overdoing it a little so only got one kinda decent snap. Which I edited to share. 😊
Tonight will be busy. I'll work on my blog first. Then I'll refill all the boxes with Arwen's snacks. I'll try to clean some more. When it's later, I'll run the washing machine and then I'll hang it all. Hopefully it will be dry before I need to leave tomorrow morning. I'll need to visit a store for some onions for the pasta sauce as we forgot those yesterday... 😔 Then onwards to the vet to pick up Arwen's meds. Around ten, my neighbors will come to help me with my couch, so I need to have that clean and have the space available for it... Between 11-15 they should come with the bed. Let's hope they'll be early, so that I can make the bed and that I have some space to relax in between. 😊
Tomorrow, I need to be at the hospital at 7. My parents live near the hospital, but mum wanted to get there around 6:30, so we can park and head to the ward in time. So we'll need to leave the house around 5:30. I'll make sure that Arwen will have had her walkies and meds, and I'll do my best to remember that I'm not allowed to eat! 🫣
Busy day today, but after the hospital, I'll have "plenty of time" to relax. 😂 Have to see it in a positive way I guess.
Let's send off this Toot and see if I can work a bit on my blog or something....
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
#PixysJourney
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/114/667/244/672/453/383/original/00db19e2a1695ccb.jpg

2025-06-11 21:58:33 UTC

#Journal of a slightly stressing Dutch Pixy :pixy_party: (Wednesday, 11/06/2025).
Wow that was some sleep! I fell asleep and didn't wake up until the alarm woke me. Which was nice. But, it also meant that I'd been in one position the whole night, so my back was very stiff... Ah well..
Best get up and start my day/night.
Arwen got her meds. I got to the scale. Then, I got dressed and I took Arwen out for her things. I took my meds and then I slowly prepared Arwen's food. When she was happily eating, I got my bag and headed to Skoosh.
I checked my socials while I enjoyed my protein shake. Then, I got to the seated bike. My back wasn't too happy with this, and soon, my leg also gave me some issues. Ugh, guess that's why I do need that surgery. 😔 After a massage in the chair, I got ready to head back home again.
Washed up, had brekky, and then Arwen and I had our SniffiVerse™ walkies. On the way home, I had seen something lying in the street that could be dangerous. So, I made sure Arwen and I walked that way, so I could clear the street. Then, we followed our usual walkies.
We got back and I headed upstairs to work a bit on my blog. Then back down, where I relaxed with the telly. I got some bedding ready for the bed that I'm getting in the living room in Thursday.
Arwen wanted another walkies, so we headed out again. Then I tried to dust a bit. But, I felt a bit bläh, so we just relaxed on the couch till it was time to get ready to head to Nijmegen.
Mum and I took Skoosh to Germany. We got the groceries we needed and then headed to some shops in Nijmegen. I helped mum with the groceries and when she was ready, we walked with the dogs.
When we got back, mum and I scheduled the appointment for Arwen for her shots and all, as that needed to happen after my surgery and I can't drive then. After that, Arwen and I headed back home.
I fixed Arwen's food and cleaned up most of the groceries. Then I got some food myself. I was just munching as my phone went. It was the hospital with the time update. Originally, they told me to come in at 8:30. But I said it would be hard to be sober for so long. Then she told me they had a place to come in at 7 and get to the OR around 8. That sounded a lot better. So yay for that.
N&B could not join us for walkies today. Which was a bit of a shame. So we had a short walk and then prepared for bedtime.
Arwen did her thing and then I went to bed. I fell asleep quickly, but then woke up for the loo an hour later. I fell asleep again and had the weirdest dreams. When I woke up again, it was 40 minutes before the alarm. But I was awake, so I started the "last" nightly routine for a while...
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
#PixysJourney
#WeirdFolks
@nprofile…m6x5
#EyeContact in #Selfie
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/114/666/970/318/896/093/original/05041b9f3164bcb5.jpg

2025-06-11 21:38:10 UTC

:kirby_prideheart: Ello sweet and lovely Friendos :purple_heart_sparkle:
Guess who's back?! :pixy_party: I've been busy with some chats, so I'm a bit later. This will be my last evening check-in for a bit I guess, as my life will be quite different for the next 6 to 8 weeks to come... 😊 But I'll keep doing my best with the journal toots and all that.
I had a bit of a rough night. Many silly dreams. And then I woke up before the alarm. And I just got up.
Loads to do tonight/today. The last preparations need doing. Some I need to do myself and some need to be done with the help of others. So, I'll try to do what I can as much as I can... 😊
I need to make pasta today. Well, sauce to go into the freezer. Makes for easy meals when I can't stand in the kitchen too long to cook. I need to fill the snack boxes for Arwen. The bags are in a lower cupboard and it will be hard to reach when I get from the hospital, so I'd better fill them beforehand. I need to pick up the meds for Arwen. I need to clean the couch so that my neighbors can help me move it. Then the bed should be brought...
My night will be different too. As I can't do my usual things due to me needing to stay sober (no food from midnight, only certain drinks till 6). So I will adjust the bits and bops as much as I can.
I need to be at the hospital at 7, so I'll need to be at my parents around 6:15. But that means the roads will be more quiet, so that's a good thing then. But first, all the preparations that need to be done today!
Hope you're all having a good time! And UPJ, I'll try to anwer you later tonight, as I want to write a big one, and that's easier from the tablet. 😊
Catch you all later when I've written my journal Toot!
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
#PixysJourney

2025-06-11 02:31:08 UTC

#AmWriting #Blog
Well, I've slowly been trying to prepare some future posts to be scheduled on my blog site. I have managed to post a consecutive post now for over 1820 days, and I would not want to break that streak. The only posts that I can't schedule ahead are, of course, the journal ones. So, I will have to try to keep up with them... Hopefully, I can.
I will need to use the Linux laptop again for those posts, as long as I am downstairs without the PC. I have tried to work with it, but I keep struggling with some things, that come automatically for me when I use windows. My autistic brain just likes things to be as it has known it for many years now, I guess...
This is the list that I have scheduled now. I hope that @nprofile…4als can help me with this, because I suck writing texts for this kind of images. Of course, posts can be changed, especially when other things pop up before they've been scheduled.
Anywhoo, I think I have earned some relaxing on the couch now. Today will be a busy day with shopping, so hopefully all will go well.
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
#PixysJourney
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/114/662/379/857/525/425/original/9b8940c250f1f254.jpg

2025-06-11 02:03:10 UTC

Hmmm 🤔 sometimes I wonder if I just have some bad luck...
I bought a 3m USB-C cable a few years ago. I decided to buy a "better" brand, as they were more suitable for higher watts and it seemed more sturdy than the cheaper bands (that also didn't all support more than 30w charging, so they wouldn't do).
The cable worked well and I used it a lot. Until, recently, I noticed that my devices were charging well, and then they'd stop, and then they'd start again. Even when I didn't use the device, when it was just lying there.
I tried the same charger, but with a different cable. No issues.
I tried the cable with a different charger. It happened again.
So, even though I bought the more "respectable brand" cable, it still snuffed out...
At the same time, I am using a "cheap" charger with a shorter cable that came with it. Been using it for some while now. Never had any issues, and I used it more than the long cable.
So, I just got myself a new charger of that brand. And, a new long cable. But I needed to get a more expensive brand again, as many of the cheaper ones still only allow up to 30w. And my phone supports fast charging, and my charger is 65w max. As I don't want to risk anything overheating, I need to know I have a suitable cable.
Ah well... The new cable arrived and I am using it now on my tablet. It's good to have a new cable, as I don't know how the sutiation will be in the hospital, and I do need to charge my phone (and headphones) at least. Don't know yet if I will bring my tablet, probably not, as it will (hopefully) only be for two nights. So my phone should be good to go then. 😊
Fingers crossed 🤞🏻 that this new cable will last me longer than the previous one did...

2025-06-10 23:36:40 UTC

:annoyingdog: SniffiVerse™ walkies Toot :dogeparrot:
We're back on another adventure :kirby_walk:. It's dry and not too cold with 10°C. I'm asking Arwen to go to a certain spot and then we'll she how she wants to proceed. When I drove home, I saw something lying in the street. I saw it too late to safely stop, so I wanna walk by it now and clean it off the street if it's still there...
It's a bright night for now and the moon is almost full. I tried to get a decent snap of it and edited it to go with this Toot. 😊
Today should be a busy day, as we'll head to Germany for groceries. I have to make sure to get some things that I can use once. I'm dismissed from the hospital. Easy meals and drinks and all that. As I can't just walk to the store by myself and get what I need. At least, not during the first few weeks. When I can walk more with my two crutches, then I should be able to get some lighter things.
Well, let's see if I can clean the stuff off the street and then write a bit for my blog. 😊 Hope you're all having a good time! #TZAG :darkmodeparrot:
Catch you later folks!
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
#PixysJourney
#Moonscrolling
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/114/661/693/871/420/601/original/961c47feec5d10b1.jpg

2025-06-10 22:21:41 UTC

#Journal of a slightly stressing Dutch Pixy :pixy_party: (Tuesday, 10/06/2025).
I woke up early from a weird dream. I was wide awake then, so I just got up and started my day/night. Gave Arwen her meds, I got to the scale, got dressed, I took Arwen outside. The usual bits... 😊 Then I took my own meds and I prepped Arwen's food. When she was happily eating, I got my bag and headed to Skoosh.
I got to the gym, checked my socials while I enjoyed the protein shake, and while I waited for the meds to kick in. Then, I got to the cross-trainer to see if I could make it to my steps goal. I'll definitely need to lower that after the surgery and then there will still be many days where I won't make it, I guess... It will mess with me but I also know there is a good reason. But still... My brain is weird that way... After the cross-trainer I got to the seated bike for a bit. Then, my leg started to annoy me, so it was time to hit the massage chair begore I got ready to head back home.
Washed up, had brekky, and then Arwen and I headed out for walkies. Arwen wanted the short round, so we walked that one. Fortunately, it was dry. 😊 When we got back, we relaxed a bit on the couch together. Then I went upstairs to work on my blog a bit.
Back down, it was more couch time for me. At one point, my brain was annoying me too much, and I had to do some dusting... Silly brain haha! Then, more relaxing while I wrote a bit for my blog as well.
Arwen wanted a walkies and after that, I made some food. Of course, Arwen wanted walkies again after that. Then, we relaxed for a bit. During the 9 o'clock walkies, we saw N&B, so Arwen was all excited. Then, I gave her her food and I got my bag to head to Cuijk for physio.
I had a good PT session. I quickly went back, let Arwen out for a wee, and then we got in Skoosh to head to Nijmegen. When we got there... It turned out that I had been rushing for nothing. Which annoyed me a lot, as I could have done some things for me, instead of hurrying for dad (for nothing, ugh).
The hairdresser came a bit earlier, so that was a plus. After that, Arwen and I headed back home again. We went for walkies with N&B. Then I helped out another neighbor, before I got ready to head to bed. I was rather tired.
I fell asleep rather quickly and then... I didn't wake up until my alarm warned me! I had slept the whole time. Which felt good, but I was also a bit stiff and groggy. I got up, gave Arwen her meds, and then started my routine.
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
#PixysJourney
#WeirdFolks
@nprofile…m6x5
#EyeContact in #Selfie
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/114/661/399/013/378/667/original/5a89995717a1549c.jpg

2025-06-10 22:05:16 UTC

:kirby_prideheart: Ello sweet and lovely Friendos :purple_heart_sparkle:
I is back! :pixy_party: I had a very good night, but because of that, my back is a tad sore... 😔
At the gym now, only today and tomorrow to go, and then it's no gym for many weeks. 😭 I'll really miss it... Then, I'll miss loads of things due to the restrictions I'll be on...
Just two more days... Today, I'll be going to Germany with mum. I'll try to get all the groceries that I can get, so that I have some in advance for when I come home after the surgery. Easy to cook meals. And all that...
Today, they'll call me with the time I need to be at the hospital on Friday. I do hope it will be an early surgery time, as that makes it easier to be sober before it... I'll need to change my routine a lot due to the surgery, but I guess the first days, I'll sleep more anyway, so that should get me into it... 😊
Let's see what I can do here now... My back is sore because I slept in the same position for 6:30 hours. Usually I wake up for the loo and then I change position... Not this time...
Hope that you're all having a good time! #TZAG :squirtle_jam:
Catch you in a bit when I've written the journal Toot.
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
#PixysJourney

2025-06-09 22:34:48 UTC

:annoyingdog: SniffiVerse™ walkies Toot :dogeparrot:
We're back on another adventure :kirby_walk:. It's dry with 14°C at the moment. There is some humidity though, which is at 79% according to my app.
Arwen chose the smaller walk tonight, so I'm typing this as she's getting some sniffs in. Waking up an hour early also means that I feel a tad tired still...
I tried to do my best at the gym. Only got half an hour of cardio. But, my leg gave out, and it was more busy as I was earlier, so these things didn't help me much with getting some exercises in. 😔
The moon is hidden behind some clouds so can't get a nice shornay the moment... I'll try to get some selfies with Arwen in a bit. 😊
Today will be a busy day. My brain wants me to get some cleaning done. And I have early PT at 10:30. Then, I need to pick up Arwen, and we'll head to Nijmegen, as I need to help dad. And the hairdresser should come around 13:30. So we'll be home a bit later as well.
The next few days will be busy one. But then, after the surgery, I will be on heavy restrictions, so I guess I'll have time to relax then... :ablobcatangel:
Let's see if I can write a bit for my blog now. 😊 Hey ho, let's do this! Only 3 more nights to go! 🫣
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
#PixysJourney

2025-06-09 21:21:37 UTC

#Journal of a slightly stressed Dutch Pixy :pixy_party: (Monday, 9/6/2025).
I woke up before the alarm due to some weird dreams. So, I got up and started my day/night. Arwen got her meds and then I got to the scale and dressed. Arwen and I went out so she could do her things. I got my meds and then made things ready for the gym. I gave Arwen her meal, and then grabbed my bag to head to Skoosh.
We arrived at the gym safe and sound. It was a bit busier as it was the weekend and I was a bit earlier. I checked my socials and enjoyed my protein shake. Then I got to the treadmill for a while. Followed by a short ride on the seated bike, until my leg decided to give up on it all. A massage in the chair after that, and then I switched shoes and headed back home.
Washed up, changed clothes, and had brekky. Arwen and I got ready for walkies. We had short walkies, which was fine by me. And we were fortunate, as it rained a bit when we got home again. So due to the shorter walk, we made it home dry again.
I worked on my blog a bit. Then, I cleaned the big bed, and did the laundry. When that was done, I relaxed on the couch with Arwen. After some relaxing, Arwen wanted walkies again. She decided that we'd walk on the sound wall this morning. Yay for me wearing long pants and my boots, as that way wasn't the best to walk. But, Arwen had a blast! 😂
I made some food when we got back again. After that, Arwen wanted walkies again, so of course I obliged... We got back and I felt so tired. So I headed to the couch and I watched some Downton Abbey while trying to relax.
Around 9, Arwen wanted walkies again. Which were followed by more relaxing, as I still felt rather exhausted. Damn pre-surgery anxiety. Wish it were easier to deal with. It's not like I don't know what to expect... 🤔
Around 11, we had another walkies. And then, I tried to snooze a bit on the couch. I just still felt so tired...
Then, around 13:30, it was time for the walkies with N&B again. We had a nice walk, and when we got back, I prepared everything for bedtime. After some telly, I let Arwen out for the last time before bed, and then we got to bed.
It didn't take too long to fall asleep. I didn't wake up until 21:50 and then I was wide awake, probably due to a weird dream. My brain got all excited, as it would mean "extra time to do stuff", so I got up and started my day/night.
:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾
#PixysJourney
#WeirdFolks
@nprofile…m6x5
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/114/655/500/515/767/087/original/a09ab852085a0248.jpg