zonk :fatteratte:

fedi's #1 cargo shorts shill

Public Key

npub1w59p4uyfnnn3cunux4ytagfnphthfwnve7u6v9j0vevymzrccpvqrrpv6t

NIP-05 Address

zonk@shitposter-world.mostr.pub

Profile Code

nprofile1qqs82zs67zyeeecuwf7r2j975yesm4m5hfkvlwdxze8kvkzd3puvqkqpz4mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujumt0wd68ytnsw43qz9thwden5te0wfjkccte9ejxjar5duh8qatz7x2atc

Publishing to

relay.mostr.pub

relay.ditto.pub

yabu.me

Author Public Key

npub1w59p4uyfnnn3cunux4ytagfnphthfwnve7u6v9j0vevymzrccpvqrrpv6t

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Last Notes

2026-10-28 22:28:02 UTC

they call me recycling because i’m bio and degradable

2026-10-28 19:32:45 UTC

just saw the most egregious unsubscribe page ever. THIRTY (30) BUSINESS DAYS to process my request??? into the spam black hole you go, enjoy my 100 automated gmail accounts marking your emails as spam for all eternity

2026-10-28 15:51:41 UTC

https://media.shitposter.world/shitposter.club/ef/7f/04/ef7f04b2e2b7448d570044174e74cbe44b170267e8fd124c5bdda6014cd7059f.jpg?name=n5AriAmzrd-8Vw.jpg

2026-10-27 21:53:33 UTC

i'm not very attached to my possessions, but i do get philosophical about places i've lived in. some places, i am one of the first occupants, like the moscow apartment in the new building that i was born in. others, i am probably occupant number 1000 and am far from the last person in that long chain, like the ancient college dorm i lived in for a few years. sometimes you can feel the history of a place. modern optimized ikea furniture mixed with tired but sturdy custom pieces. the seven layers of wallpaper. very special

2026-10-27 21:41:08 UTC

just googled the guy who bought my m1 macbook pro. turns out he's the ceo of some medtech startup. i don't know if that's a good or bad sign about the health of his company

2026-10-25 21:58:25 UTC

trump sent me $500, turns out the healthcare marketplace refund was actually real. i was about to dip into my savings, but now i have some money to throw at dancers in vegas! thank you trump

2026-10-25 04:25:57 UTC

if you interrupt me mid-task to rate your stupid app on the app store, i will explode you with my brain

2026-10-24 17:58:59 UTC

the great part about not living in kansas anymore is that i can go to a real barber. i'm sorry, white people, but you just aren't SHIT at cutting hair. going to a black barber has changed my life for the better

2026-10-22 16:20:24 UTC

i like people with clippy avatars because i can immediately disregard all of their opinions without even reading them

2026-10-21 01:43:00 UTC

maybe i should stop being a pussy and drive in snowy conditions and cause a 10 car pileup like a real american this winter

2026-10-21 01:26:38 UTC

call me anthony fagtano the way i’m listening to furry music to critique it

2026-10-21 01:25:16 UTC

thanks, apple music, i think i’ll pass this time around
https://media.shitposter.world/shitposter.club/51/60/bb/5160bb77722c1448e6c78a406b266ec401e33639b887ccf4a28a1eccb795e76d.jpg?name=-fjJii-sSpt5Tg.jpg

2026-10-20 21:59:21 UTC

i am really tired of 404 media pretending to be bastions of privacy, defending humanity from surveillance or whatever, while still producing horrible clickbait slop. i welcome their criticism of surveillance capitalism, but they really need to start taking themselves less seriously. and maybe also stop having an aneurism anytime “””AI””” is involved in anything

2026-10-19 13:40:55 UTC

hearts from iron
minds from steel
and if we

2026-10-18 22:27:10 UTC

https://media.shitposter.world/shitposter.club/70/cb/36/70cb36d4d587a7fcebba51837214f04892e85abdb1ad8aff78e0d103bce75b81.jpg?name=bQ9Ao4o0AFrRhA.jpg

2026-10-18 02:42:25 UTC

america is when your driver’s license can have a shorter validity than your fucking weed card

2026-10-18 02:34:06 UTC

my immigration (mis)adventures continue. my work authorization card, and with it my driver’s license, expire in december, and it’s looking like it’ll only get approved and mailed to me in january, even though i filed for the renewal in may. so, i get to enjoy a month of unpaid leave (woohoo, time to dip into my savings. so exciting) with no transportation that i am still on the hook to pay for (insurance dgaf about my license situation and neither does the great state of kansas). and then once i do get my work permit, i have to fly to another state and renew my license, somehow convincing the tsa that its totally fine that my visa is expired and that i can fly on my ead. such an annoying cocksucking system on the best of days, and with the trump admin i’m SURE they’ll try to hold up my stem opt somehow, so i can’t even make arrangements to renew my drivers license and become human again

2026-10-17 18:58:36 UTC

you can trust me. i’m a mouse

2026-10-17 12:23:24 UTC

yeah sex is good but the flaker friend finally flaking and being able to make plans by yourself is sooooooooooo freeing

2026-10-16 21:50:34 UTC

just renewed my car registration, under $100 for the year. if i get a promotion and end up buying a new car, i sure will miss the low cost of ownership...

2026-10-16 17:37:43 UTC

the pebni

2026-10-14 20:21:29 UTC

https://media.shitposter.world/shitposter.club/85/8f/d4/858fd4cb5d79aee5009793fe33cee07cf70fe255d2b24ee3c3259f54e050cf56.webp?name=jWaZB7Mea8ayUQ.webp

2026-10-13 21:44:05 UTC

nothing feels better than having my initial gut reaction about not liking a person being proven right by their own retarded actions

2026-10-12 00:49:39 UTC

i stole a fish glass from a bar and now i’m drinking from it on the brightline. life is so good when you’re a retard in miami

2026-10-11 16:04:44 UTC

sports multiview is just gooning without the porn. what do you mean you need four screens of men on your tv

2026-10-09 20:01:00 UTC

fatfingered the siskin account removal button and it straight up deleted my xmpp account, because the "delete account from server" option is right next to the option that doesn't do that. if i can't reregister i am actually going to explode

2026-10-09 13:19:25 UTC

the train is about to enter the cum zone ‼️
https://media.shitposter.world/shitposter.club/f3/81/32/f381327231d37e60d8d5dda684b4f5eb6523253a5da18268d1fa18e1182777df.jpg?name=ppFFrnTwyEYgJA.jpg

2026-10-08 15:16:10 UTC

it really irks me when people blame clankers for their screw-ups. like, no, you were not diligent enough in supervising it, and now you reap what you sow. when i get complacent and lazy (which i do sometimes because i'm human), i take full accountability for it, instead of whining "claude did an oopsy woopsy :(((((( im just a dummy its not my fault :((((((("

2026-10-08 02:59:37 UTC

very disappointing that the guy on twitter who cums on crts deleted his best post. i really gotta fucking start an archive or something

2026-10-07 20:40:58 UTC

BASED
https://github.com/transkatgirl/vibeclaude
https://media.shitposter.world/shitposter.club/15/c4/03/15c4031c6a987d298aacb23ed6575ad08d0060d16608bec7874901ca10d6f6f4.jpg?name=dZamWXFOpkb3pw.jpg

2026-10-07 16:42:42 UTC

felt an impending sense of doom all morning, turns out i just needed to take a fat shit

2026-10-06 16:42:01 UTC

you've just been singing about girls,
what do you know about girls?

2026-10-05 23:31:02 UTC

grown ass man doesn’t know where the yogurts are in walmart. hilarity ensues

2026-10-01 16:46:51 UTC

i've been thinking about buying a camcorder for a while, but a great deal came up on ebay and i had to jump on it.
i've been meaning to take more video of me hanging out with my friends, because it's gotten so rare with us all graduating and everything. i realized just how awkward filming with a phone is. your subjects can never tell if it's a photo or video, and you have to hold it precariously, making it difficult to film events in motion. it brings me out of the moment to see my notifications as well, and i just end up not taking my phone out at all, and then being sad when i come back home with maybe 1 or 2 photos. i fondly remember being 9 and filming family vacations on our little camcorder as a kid, and i definitely want to bring that sort of vibe back to my life. it's just so natural to keep rolling when you have something always in your hand.
so, fuck it. i pulled the trigger and i'll make sure to obnoxiously film my next miami trip as much as possible, with the goal of seeing if i can make a little celebratory visualizer for myself on my upcoming birthday vegas trip

2026-10-01 02:11:22 UTC

i don't give a FUCK about american soccer but the big 10 commercial makes me feel all fluttery inside
https://youtu.be/p060LdJodXQ

2026-09-29 15:54:44 UTC

boomers talking about ripping out the pedestrian warning speaker in their EVs are psychotic. “yeah, fuck blind people, i should be able to run them over while being distracted on my phone like god intended”

2026-09-29 04:29:17 UTC

the xmpp experience on ios is… abysmal. siskin doesn’t sent me notifications at all and monal is straight up broken and refuses to send messages at all. do i really need to vibecode a conversations port onto ios??? is the solution really just notification relay???

2026-09-28 14:22:10 UTC

the worst time to go to bed, according to sleep doctors: whenever you go to bed

2026-09-28 13:33:54 UTC

special interest forum decimated by boomers who use ai to make bullshit posts 50% of the time

2026-09-28 13:33:02 UTC

people don’t actually like the taste of beer, right? they just pretend they do when they’re around friends?

2026-09-25 03:47:42 UTC

of course my nightly perversions are interrupted by the cats fighting. i feel like a jail warden, stumbling out of my room to split these bastards up. none of them are innocent!!! they all provoke each other for fun. duplicitous beasts

2026-09-24 15:26:46 UTC

i have been completely buck broken by my cats. i can’t leave even a cup of water unattended because the little shits will either drink from it or knock it over. so i have to carry my water with me when i go to the bathroom. so humiliating

2026-09-21 00:02:23 UTC

getting the full miami experience tonight. my brightline train struck a “trespasser”, there’s cops and fire trucks around

2026-09-11 04:47:18 UTC

who remembers gab

2026-09-11 03:49:43 UTC

the morning meeting that always gets moved won't be moved tomorrow, so i actually have to get up on time :disintegrate:

2026-09-06 01:56:00 UTC

:eyes_fast:
https://media.shitposter.world/shitposter.club/14/6c/83/146c8348b9c36f26a6bafc9b88d2fdd0056b8a421811e5cd0001887c807f4ed9.webp?name=cZU33KJKnVtAjA.webp

2026-09-04 02:03:25 UTC

rule #1 of being a pervert is to be kind

2026-09-04 01:43:19 UTC

ok grok. im a deer walking on a hard and grey surface and there's two bright circles coming towards me at a very fast speed. what do i do

2026-09-02 02:01:50 UTC

https://media.shitposter.world/shitposter.club/5c/17/79/5c1779862cd5acd6ee3446e79111b07334ed0c28b83d7f33a61ce7bc059e8bf0.webp?name=v1SuaLe2q5QNPA.webp

2026-08-22 00:12:55 UTC

he inform on my delivery until i United States Postal Service®

2026-08-20 01:28:08 UTC

why are wikipedia cocks always so hot

2026-08-14 15:16:35 UTC

https://media.shitposter.world/shitposter.club/70/24/8a/70248abc97fec1ca2adde4ab876e30ce5f387fe5e97ae27dab091f6fe06dcfc7.webp?name=IcKPc-tqOVEEfw.webp

2026-08-11 21:51:50 UTC

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@nprofile…vpvm
https://media.shitposter.world/shitposter.club/da/35/b4/da35b424be101de524029ff7c3f9629ee7ce8b0c6e417bacd70ad3ed5d437542.mp4?name=gUsbfbBy3ex9vA.mp4

2026-08-11 16:23:59 UTC

>be retarded boomer
>sign up for $5/mo paid newsletter
>two issues get put into your "updates" folder on gmail
>you miss them because you're too stupid to understand how email works
>email the company at 1am demanding a refund
>mass spam the company's facebook page calling them scammers
>initiate a chargeback at 6am because no one replied to you quickly enough, despite the working hours very clearly being listed as 9-5
>fast forward one month
>stripe rules against you because the company provided email logs proving that you didn't respond to multiple attempts at remediation, and you didn't contact the company further at all, not even to keep pressing for a refund
>you spam the company's facebook page again saying that stripe is in cahoots with the company to defraud you and that you'll be seeking a lawyer
>your facebook account gets frozen for a day due to suspicious activity

2026-08-10 20:26:33 UTC

https://media.shitposter.world/shitposter.club/39/43/af/3943af8dad968f3b339b48d9796b0aa60b9792ff48ed4cd80e094237d8e6bab8.webp?name=8NUx7AB1hkf3dQ.webp

2026-08-09 15:11:52 UTC

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@nprofile…alxm the upkeep and maintenance of 85 million acres of land?

2026-08-09 00:35:17 UTC

bit the bullet and got this eyesore. i just can't resist the call of the national parks
https://media.shitposter.world/shitposter.club/de/df/c8/dedfc8a238e9d5f105c2a7aed34d4d8c4b1d6af4c35ccb58f3cacd06bac6821c.webp?name=tiYV6psfRvQ0yg.webp

2026-08-08 02:47:14 UTC

seeing one of my forum posts in a youtuber's video feels so strange. They Lurk Among Us.............

2026-08-07 01:57:12 UTC

no four words have greater power than "We Have Your Package"

2026-08-06 02:23:28 UTC

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@nprofile…tsag is the sol hype real, should i try codex again

2026-08-04 22:28:49 UTC

my parents didn't like me watching the tous le memes music video as a kid. maybe that's why im gay

2026-08-04 15:38:14 UTC

you're such a little kitten bro. you're so play coded

2026-08-04 05:09:37 UTC

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@nprofile…4c5e @nprofile…l5m0 @nprofile…9d68 the american consumer is definitely spoiled for choice, all the coolest foreign cars get imported anyways (unless you're a chinese ev enjoyer, but even then if you're rich enough you can just pay the crazy stamp duties)

2026-08-04 05:06:57 UTC

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@nprofile…4c5e @nprofile…l5m0 @nprofile…9d68 it's a cultural thing in my mind. in europe you get the smallest possible car for your use case, maximizing utility and economy (and often times you simply don't need one, so you realize that and don't buy one). over here, people are weirdly attached to their cars, and buy them to express their... personalities. people won't dress to impress but will absolutely go into debt to pimp out their baby crusher 9000

2026-08-04 04:49:31 UTC

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@nprofile…4c5e @nprofile…l5m0 we can't all be mr big money moves 😔

2026-08-04 04:39:16 UTC

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@nprofile…4c5e @nprofile…l5m0 deadass? i genuinely didn't know

2026-08-04 04:36:28 UTC

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@nprofile…l5m0 i keep my back seats folded down most of the time and throw my bike inside. it's pretty convenient. id get a station wagon if they started making those again

2026-08-04 04:32:36 UTC

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@nprofile…l5m0 don't worry, i had my fair share of awkward moments, complete with 3 second pauses between responses, like
>why don't you have a truck? aren't you good at your job?
<... idk man, my suv is good enough. i don't have a use for a truck
>... you don't want to look cool?
<... no?
in my defense what am i even supposed to say

2026-08-04 04:28:33 UTC

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@nprofile…l5m0 but i like talking to the retail workers. gets me out faster and makes their day a bit more tolerable. if they tell me to shut up i do

2026-08-04 04:23:04 UTC

guy working at subway told me to google the f-650 and said it was the coolest vehicle ever and that i'd immediately want one as soon as i saw it. when i wasn't floored he said "i thought you drove up in your mom's car, does it actually, like, move?" just make my sandwich bro im not in the mood for ts 😭

2026-08-03 17:14:10 UTC

flex (they approve anyone, this isn't special)
https://media.shitposter.world/shitposter.club/22/41/9d/22419dc63fd33b1c58ed1af7506dba84645a463cd0e605b27f41d1b403d1d0b6.webp?name=t3wLTsvfzB9Fpw.webp

2026-08-03 04:46:19 UTC

ok if im not the demon of excesses then what demon am i. temptation?

2026-08-01 16:57:39 UTC

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@nprofile…alxm @nprofile…qr25 based

2026-07-29 13:08:36 UTC

???
https://media.shitposter.world/shitposter.club/81/69/9d/81699db732b280dc314b26702d930de2fde35d95eadddfa8bf91e4b19ac21537.mp4?name=z31fON9CCe--Dg.mp4

2026-07-27 01:53:50 UTC

all quiet on the frontal lobe

2026-07-27 00:35:59 UTC

https://media.shitposter.world/shitposter.club/2e/33/fe/2e33fecb771a991929e5948209f07650ab949aa0a02ca7cf1dae14cc15b54524.mp4?name=lis3ca39rlGC0g.mp4

2026-07-26 18:57:05 UTC

⚠️⚠️ LINUX KERNEL SOURCE CODE LEAKED!!!
this guy named linus torvalds just reverse engineered linux source code and leaked it on github, all computer systems running on linux are vulnurable
billions of lines of code, 1.5 million commits, 240k stars
all linux users are suggested to switch to windows as soon as possible
https://github.com/torvalds/linux

2026-07-24 18:01:52 UTC

https://media.shitposter.world/shitposter.club/25/9e/9c/259e9ce190a94193d02a2c84715749264382f471939c82ed93b202999db00c4c.webp?name=RylSIB0ycgxoFA.webp

2026-07-24 13:27:49 UTC

outgrowing my bottom-ness because im actually quite decent at driving now

2026-07-22 21:18:59 UTC

transcode? yeah they're usually pretty good at that

2026-07-22 18:23:20 UTC

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@nprofile…t3h7 i love the phrase "conduct distillation". bro really thinks this is the next pearl harbor 😭

2026-07-21 01:09:26 UTC

bussy's (gas station)

2026-07-20 23:15:12 UTC

This Farmer Put A Milking Machine On His Penis And Became A Top 0.01% OnlyFans "Creator". Find Out How You Can Replicate His Success And Scale Your Content Enterprise

2026-07-20 22:01:52 UTC

two hour hydn video 👀

2026-07-20 19:02:51 UTC

oh, to sniff a congressional staffer's sweaty socks after they've been marinating in his boots all day in the muggy dc heat

2026-07-20 14:05:02 UTC

writing erotica in the holocaust museum cafe like god intended

2026-07-20 00:10:39 UTC

piss buys 1% stake in shit for 12 quintillion dollars

2026-07-19 22:06:54 UTC

knock on each other's wood

2026-07-19 17:47:25 UTC

transit should make a tourist mode that takes you on long scenic detours on every possible available mode of transport

2026-07-19 17:46:40 UTC

im very happy with myself now that i have to wear a belt again, but it is super annoying that i didn't bring one with me on this trip and i have to hold my cargo shorts up manually smh

2026-07-15 20:20:22 UTC

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@nprofile…a4jv @nprofile…alxm "картомат" is what they're called. i've seen a few in moscow and kazakhstan. they're so cool

2026-07-15 20:17:40 UTC

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@nprofile…a4jv @nprofile…alxm no, but it takes about a week or so, and you can pay to expedite it. if it's a debit card you can sometimes walk into a branch and they'll pull one out of a pre-printed stack (or print like 1 or 2 designs their printer can do). i miss my atms that can also print cards...

2026-07-15 03:17:22 UTC

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@nprofile…alxm it was one of those stupid touch screen pumps. it refused to dispense unless the card was left in for the entire transaction. i simply forgot to take my card out afterwards

2026-07-15 02:20:02 UTC

i carry a physical wallet with a bunch of cards in it because there's no way i can lose a physical card, right?
right???????
well i just lost one of my fucking cards because i forgot it was inserted into a gas station pump!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and im 2 time zones away now!!!!!!!!! smh!!!!!!!!!

2026-07-10 04:30:23 UTC

accidentally revealed my power level not once not twice but 3 times at work today and i think the intern is scared of me now

2026-07-09 13:25:47 UTC

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@nprofile…vpvm if humans are animals, then twinks are beasts

2026-07-08 03:38:52 UTC

tried out soulseek for the first time. i don't get it, it's like torrenting but for millennials? great search across the network though

2026-07-08 00:25:33 UTC

agentically scratching my ballsack

2026-07-07 19:40:17 UTC

kennedy steve made his own youtube channel, that's a recession indicator if ive ever seen one

2026-07-07 14:11:00 UTC

id be such a good fed but my parents had sex in the wrong country 😔