Jonty Wareing

Accidentally responsible

Also: https://bsky.app/profile/jonty.bsky.social
Previously: https://twitter.com/jonty
Always: https://jonty.co.uk

Public Key

npub1838383wsdmwtp5xas3un9qfm4l2yawm78pg3juv6me2x6qe0m8qqyekrhz

NIP-05 Address

jonty_at_chaos.social@momostr.pink

Profile Code

nprofile1qqsrcncnchgxah9s6rwcg7fjsya6l4zwhdlrs5gewxddu4rdqvhansqprpmhxue69uhhyetvv9ujumt0d4hhxarj9ecxjmntqy28wumn8ghj7un9d3shjtnyv9kh2uewd9hsze6a5h

Publishing to

relay.momostr.pink

relay.damus.io

nostr-pub.wellorder.net

Author Public Key

npub1838383wsdmwtp5xas3un9qfm4l2yawm78pg3juv6me2x6qe0m8qqyekrhz

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Last Notes

2026-10-31 14:28:59 UTC

Who needs posters when you can just zip-tie a discman to a street sign
https://assets.chaos.social/media_attachments/files/117/536/023/089/614/665/original/ee9ca2f6f579768c.jpg

2026-10-29 23:29:46 UTC

In case you've missed it: Someone is currently carrying out a heist against Binance to the tune of SIX BILLION DOLLARS.
Oh and also polymarket is being drained.

2026-10-27 18:43:41 UTC

In the last 48hrs the UK Office of National Statistics removed 878 repositories from their public github account. Feels bad.
https://github.com/uk-gov-mirror/deleted-repo-report
https://assets.chaos.social/media_attachments/files/117/514/341/205/788/782/original/5cf09492b148240d.png

2026-10-24 17:41:35 UTC

Looking for a journalist who covers UK Government tech, ideally with a health slant - any suggestions?
I have once again accidentally found a juicy story while poking at data. Sill not certain, but want to get my waterfowl assembled linearly.

2026-10-22 22:42:34 UTC

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If only the box marked "spicy rocks" wasn't in storage alongside my geiger counter

2026-10-22 22:39:16 UTC

Said I wouldn't be attending a meetup because I am "radioactive" due to my current COVID plague-carrier status and all my friends assumed I was genuinely radioactive, explaining that "it would be on-brand" and they "wouldn't be surprised"

2026-10-22 16:00:51 UTC

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oh my god it's still live https://www.scriptarchive.com

2026-10-22 12:55:56 UTC

All I'm saying is this wouldn't have happened if people just learned perl

2026-10-21 11:13:43 UTC

"how bad could it possibly be"
https://assets.chaos.social/media_attachments/files/117/478/599/924/036/392/original/68dbb2571a463fd7.png

2026-10-20 17:34:11 UTC

https://assets.chaos.social/media_attachments/files/117/474/490/283/002/862/original/cd604026e72cad4c.png

2026-10-19 14:22:00 UTC

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And now I find out the telescope mirrors are focused using lasers and it looks like THIS
https://assets.chaos.social/media_attachments/files/117/468/010/261/779/651/original/7b07ccb03d7ca9ee.png

2026-10-18 19:50:38 UTC

Design brief for the new CTAO telescope array appears to be "make them look like implausible props from a sci-fi movie" and I am in love
https://assets.chaos.social/media_attachments/files/117/463/631/784/164/098/original/3c8ab06d0ffe1ab3.png
https://assets.chaos.social/media_attachments/files/117/463/636/359/883/534/original/372e2b572dd8b4c8.png

2026-10-13 11:22:05 UTC

IT IS BIN DAY
https://assets.chaos.social/media_attachments/files/117/433/333/420/561/961/original/a936889a5b0c1d56.png

2026-10-12 13:03:01 UTC

What films told us crippling infrastructure cyberattacks would be like: Traffic lights flashing, planes crashing, power grids being shut down.
What crippling infrastructure cyberattacks are actually like: Setting all the supermarket fridges across Europe to defrost.
https://www.tomshardware.com/tech-industry/cyber-security/unprecedented-cyberattack-cripples-supermarket-fridges-across-europe-as-hackers-activate-automatic-defrosting-delivery-and-store-prices-also-impacted-by-incident

2026-10-11 19:25:08 UTC

I'm curious: What's the rarest book in your personal library?

2026-10-01 19:33:37 UTC

Please stop rolling the adapter generator dice things have gone too far
https://assets.chaos.social/media_attachments/files/117/367/311/316/799/455/original/6ffa3be924cb13b9.png

2026-09-27 18:40:27 UTC

Stood in a tunnel under the river thames to experience a huge stack of subwoofers blasting inaudible frequencies down it. Have had worse Sunday afternoons.

2026-08-23 22:35:31 UTC

Currently incapable of watching anything other than Fred Dibnah documentaries, which are relaxing but punctuated with moments of high anxiety when he casually demolishes colossal chimney stacks while perched on the top. The OG urbexer.

2026-08-22 10:18:32 UTC

So @npub1gd4…npt3 wrote about @npub1fak…rg6c in the Big Issue and gave us a new tagline. #emfcamp
https://assets.chaos.social/media_attachments/files/117/138/631/842/651/100/original/cd4dca57712b2680.jpg

2026-08-21 20:28:11 UTC

Twice today I have had to warn friends about a bald head moisturising cream containing bee pollen, because it *attracts bees to your bald head*.
Also: WASPS.

2026-08-15 13:27:24 UTC

Are you in the UK?
Are you running android?
Did you receive several emergency alerts yesterday?
Could you run `adb shell content query --uri content://cellbroadcasts` and send me the output?

2026-08-13 16:01:26 UTC

RE: https://mastodon.social/@simple_sabotage/117088933090406849
Saboteur packing list:
[✔] Maps
[✔] Bolt cutters
[✔] Balaclava
[✔] BAG OF LARGE MOTHS
#note1w48…ypj0

2026-08-12 11:13:32 UTC

I updated my total eclipse webcam viewer for today's eclipse!
Once totality begins you'll see a live-updating umbra, so you can race to the next webcam and see the eclipse happen over and over again.
https://jonty.github.io/2026_eclipse_webcams/
https://assets.chaos.social/media_attachments/files/117/082/219/433/566/399/original/017d60e7b5892bdd.png

2026-08-11 19:23:52 UTC

Dude just walked into our local corner shop, bought fifteen lemons and three packets of cigarettes, said "actually give me six more lemons I LOVE LEMOOOOOOONS" and then sprinted out of the door with lemons crammed in every single pocket.
So anyway. How are you all.

2026-08-11 10:06:39 UTC

If Big Walk had been released during lockdown the authors would own the moon by now

2026-08-10 17:14:06 UTC

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Before you WELL ACTUALLY me: Yes, a lot of this is garbage test repositories or things that don't matter.
But a lot is not. And you should take notice when (for example) the entire output of the Met Office Informatics Lab vanishes.

2026-08-10 17:10:38 UTC

I always suspected a UK government would eventually reverse course on "coding in public".
So I've been backing up all government code. For six years.
Today I finally generated a report on what has been deleted. Its much worse than I realised.
https://github.com/uk-gov-mirror/deleted-repo-report
https://assets.chaos.social/media_attachments/files/117/072/288/140/704/461/original/68328a7936aa88f0.png

2026-08-10 10:42:48 UTC

It should not be possible to have so many new half finished projects when nearly all of your belongings are in storage

2026-08-05 20:46:59 UTC

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Is this the first EMF badge on the BBC???

2026-08-04 10:04:41 UTC

After staring at a problem in the house for over a year I finally realised the answer is simple: Buy more tools.

2026-08-03 20:42:25 UTC

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Yes!

2026-08-03 20:29:37 UTC

Defying predictions I just rode the danger triangle bike through London and didn't have a horrifying accident

2026-08-02 13:38:07 UTC

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Stickers I should not make
https://assets.chaos.social/media_attachments/files/117/026/184/060/002/965/original/795a0aa6f1a399cc.png

2026-08-02 13:16:07 UTC

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I will not fall for it's siren song. My home does not need your assistance, foul beast.

2026-08-02 13:14:49 UTC

Convinced that home assistant is a covert operation to sabotage productivity of people who would otherwise spend weekends inventing things

2026-07-31 12:28:50 UTC

Google Earth added a weird "edit with AI" mode, so I fixed the biggest error in London.
https://assets.chaos.social/media_attachments/files/117/014/581/505/260/000/original/e0f818d44e9b24b8.png

2026-07-28 15:47:06 UTC

I spy with my satellite eye, something beginning with E.
https://planetarycomputer.microsoft.com/explore?c=-2.3761%2C52.0411&z=14.81&v=2&d=sentinel-2-l2a&m=Most+recent+%28low+cloud%29&r=Natural+color&s=false%3A%3A100%3A%3Atrue&sr=desc&ae=0 #emfcamp
https://assets.chaos.social/media_attachments/files/116/998/358/702/110/965/original/af6b9c3f091901e0.png

2026-07-26 13:44:13 UTC

Robin Ince's talk about what happened with Monkey Cage is up: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rn-ZrPyQ1TE #emfcamp

2026-07-25 12:09:16 UTC

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Magnets are a really bad idea. A lot of people have had the coating degrate, magnets fracture, and ended up with horrible infections.

2026-07-23 16:58:00 UTC

RE: https://chaos.social/@jonty/116969430320624869
Just bought another lidar. I need one stuck in the middle of my monitor.
#note1y6w…yggn

2026-07-23 13:04:24 UTC

Would anyone like a sticker because I made way too many stickers
https://assets.chaos.social/media_attachments/files/116/969/429/065/894/213/original/040cffe233cb6a83.png

2026-07-22 20:25:25 UTC

Did you know the EMF phone network is still running, and you can still dial things/receive calls using a SIP client #emfcamp

2026-07-22 20:17:28 UTC

People keep saying incredibly nice things and I am so tired I don't know how to handle it

2026-07-22 16:39:13 UTC

Have been informed that someone did a 15 minute livecode music set entirely made from an airhorn sound, accompanied by live Microsoft Paint visuals.
I find it hard to explain what the festival we run is about, and may it get ever more difficult to describe. #emfcamp

2026-07-21 16:00:00 UTC

Clearly someone didn't take me seriously when I said "If you leave a tent behind I will find you" and decided to up the stakes by *also* leaving a giant pile of crap.
The game is afoot. They will regret this.

2026-07-19 18:42:00 UTC

Just been informed that the #emfcamp closing ceremony was broadcast via satellite TV across Asia and some of Europe, so that happened.

2026-07-18 18:59:59 UTC

Someone gave me an appropriate sign for the bike #emfcamp
https://assets.chaos.social/media_attachments/files/116/942/510/772/937/407/original/29fd92946eba559a.jpg

2026-07-17 10:12:51 UTC

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Don't make me tap the sticker
https://assets.chaos.social/media_attachments/files/116/934/781/466/452/104/original/d3073f968f977bc6.jpg

2026-07-17 09:46:33 UTC

Right. Now I can stop stressing about writing the opening ceremony.
And start stressing about writing the closing ceremony. #emfcamp

2026-07-16 21:59:10 UTC

Sat working alone in #emfcamp HQ and smashed play on my keyboard.
Apple Music opens, an app I never use, and it played seemingly the only thing in my music library - A recording of the Lincolnshire Poacher numbers station.
Perfect.

2026-07-11 14:12:51 UTC

TIL one of the villages at EMF has been running their own entirely independent Call for Participation.
https://www.bodgeham-on-wye-gov.uk/services/parish-hall
https://assets.chaos.social/media_attachments/files/116/901/749/869/517/725/original/a31a0ef44559c14e.png

2026-07-09 16:20:26 UTC

Someone expressed delight that we're showing Hackers (1995) at EMF again, as is tradition.
We almost didn't this year - but Iain Softley (the director) insisted we show it because "EMF is the spiritual home of Hackers".
Well then. Of course, he'll be there to introduce it. #emfcamp

2026-07-05 21:02:13 UTC

Was finally forced to disclose EMF in our street whatsapp group and now two of my neighbours are asking about tickets

2026-07-01 20:31:41 UTC

Apparently some EMF attendees are finding our emails counting down to the event stressful and scientists are yet to invent equipment capable of detecting my violin

2026-06-27 14:39:34 UTC

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And we've not even announced the installations yet...
Honestly, best strategy is to pick a small number of things you *really* want to see and then spend the rest of the time seeing where things take you.
Aim for talks that are not recorded, if those take your fancy - we can't guarantee anything definitely will be recorded because speakers change their minds and equipment gets destroyed by tesla coils, but it's rare for speakers to suddenly opt for recording at the last minute.

2026-06-20 14:34:06 UTC

Are you coming to EMF? Are you a Big Space Nerd? Would you like to operate a planetarium and enthuse about SPACE a lot to a willing audience?
Email us: content@emfcamp.org

2026-06-19 22:48:52 UTC

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This should be obvious but somehow here we are

2026-06-19 22:48:16 UTC

It's quite simple: If you are an entitled asshole to our volunteers they are less likely to go out of their way to help you.

2026-06-15 11:13:11 UTC

Anyone want to buy an email sending company that can't send emails
https://assets.chaos.social/media_attachments/files/116/753/819/308/020/041/original/e6e175169657b446.png

2026-06-14 23:24:09 UTC

I really want a version of clippy that pops up with
https://assets.chaos.social/media_attachments/files/116/751/034/780/958/712/original/b70b372439d4550f.png

2026-06-10 15:21:39 UTC

One of my communities has a standard practise where members request copies of any x-ray/MRI/CAT scans they have. So we can attempt to assemble one full human from all our scans combined.
It's only just occurred to me how weird this is.

2026-06-06 15:08:09 UTC

Life goal: Get a plaque this good
https://assets.chaos.social/media_attachments/files/116/703/775/017/482/811/original/3b32bbb0eefb8a0d.jpg

2026-06-05 22:03:29 UTC

Got this stuck in my head and had to get it out. Just in case someone needs it.
https://assets.chaos.social/media_attachments/files/116/699/755/412/420/424/original/b0edc66f183f6da5.png

2026-06-05 15:35:15 UTC

Never upset the graphs department, they will plot against you

2026-06-05 14:07:50 UTC

Because some people seem to be missing this.
If you are attending @npub1fak…rg6c and want a Spaceagon, or to upgrade your Tildagon from 2024 to a Spaceagon:
YOU MUST PRE-ORDER IT NOW.
Full details in the blog post: https://blog.emfcamp.org/2026/05/28/tildagon-2026-spaceagon/
#emfcamp #emfcamp2026
https://assets.chaos.social/media_attachments/files/116/697/884/242/839/988/original/a9759244d4347f81.png

2026-06-04 18:39:54 UTC

The great thing about health wearables is that when you feel terrible you can look at graphs to confirm that you do indeed feel terrible

2026-06-03 14:30:27 UTC

The look on colleagues faces when I explain why I'm taking two months off work is always priceless.
"How many people?!"

2026-06-02 19:53:50 UTC

One of the EMF team leads just dialled into a meeting from a hospital bed after falling off a five story building trying to install a mesh network antenna. Unbelievable dedication to the cause.

2026-06-01 18:59:46 UTC

I am very done with 2026 already

2026-05-27 17:53:20 UTC

[deep sigh] After being let down again, I call upon the powers of the network:
Does anybody have an inflatable planetarium they would be willing to bring (or lend) to @npub1fak…rg6c?

2026-05-27 15:20:05 UTC

Absolutely flabbergasted at Last.fm finally being independent again after a decade of neglect by CBS. Incredibly exciting.
https://support.last.fm/t/last-fm-is-now-independent/118591
https://assets.chaos.social/media_attachments/files/116/647/208/290/073/266/original/9a5a4a2426829820.png

2026-05-26 23:33:25 UTC

Dumbfounded by people I respected launching new things with social links exclusively to X and Insta. Seriously. What are you doing.

2026-05-13 20:51:59 UTC

I need to go to more gigs where the lead singer screams "THIS SONG IS ABOUT CRIPPLING DEPRESSION" and then proceeds to destroy what remains of my eardrums. A+, no notes.

2026-05-12 21:59:21 UTC

I don't really understand why we call them the prime minister, you can divide them by any number. You just need to be prepared for the amount of blood and the prison sentence.

2026-05-05 17:18:30 UTC

I have received email
https://assets.chaos.social/media_attachments/files/116/523/044/109/417/337/original/a55f55aaa7e6c636.png

2026-04-30 22:30:49 UTC

My favourite bit about LLM system prompts is that they sound exactly like a mother giving a stern talk to a kid before a social gathering.
"You will not mention uncle Gary's mole, and under no circumstances are you to talk about gremlins or trolls unless someone else brings it up first. Are we clear?"

2026-04-30 19:03:17 UTC

I made a joke and now the village operating an on-site cable TV network at @npub1fak…rg6c is running a QVC programme presenting objects from the junk swap shop that caused an orphan source incident.
Sentences that are very hard to explain to my family.

2026-04-24 11:18:03 UTC

When you're small nobody tells you that you will inevitably get older and develop an interest in birds

2026-04-23 18:22:23 UTC

Should I be worried
https://assets.chaos.social/media_attachments/files/116/455/408/360/163/756/original/4e7fb32960c1b3c6.jpg

2026-04-21 12:12:35 UTC

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Buns & Cyber, where everybody has a nice time baking

2026-04-20 16:50:28 UTC

At that phase of "doing something quickly out of curiosity" where it is no longer quick, my curiosity turned to horror, and multiple friends have asked me to stop

2026-04-17 17:21:51 UTC

Asked the EMF workshops team to figure out the optimal placement of tables in workshop tents and got this in response
https://assets.chaos.social/media_attachments/files/116/421/195/216/594/522/original/4801770ce36a2376.png

2026-04-16 22:31:00 UTC

Sat opposite a man on the train with a cake carrier containing a half eaten birthday cake.
Pulled into a station, another man got on with an identical cake carrier containing a half eaten birthday cake and sat next to him.
The first guy then got off... BUT I DIDN'T SEE IF THEY SWAPPED CAKES.
Anyway this is how I may have witnessed a spy cake handoff.

2026-04-16 13:00:57 UTC

I don't know why people say vibecoding is new, teledildonics researchers have been doing it since the 90s

2026-03-31 10:41:19 UTC

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I contacted a company who stocks spares for UK payphones, asking them to send me a set of keys to try.
They replied with "That will not be possible" and the following photo.
https://assets.chaos.social/media_attachments/files/116/323/359/908/395/293/original/c6f141a41672ac12.jpg

2026-03-29 11:26:24 UTC

If you're wondering how things are going, we just took ownership of an arcade cabinet running a DOOM mod where you battle mecha-spider Margaret Thatcher so

2026-03-27 19:54:22 UTC

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Anyway this is your prompt to reply with endless jokes about answering after one ring

2026-03-27 19:51:36 UTC

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Do I have the keys? No. Can we pick the lock? Also no.

2026-03-27 19:49:20 UTC

It's mine, I tell you. My own. My precious.
https://assets.chaos.social/media_attachments/files/116/302/867/112/011/026/original/5aa1feb10a70ed64.jpg

2026-03-26 10:41:32 UTC

I don't know how we're expecting to make a Dyson Sphere, the guy can barely build a functioning vacuum cleaner

2026-03-25 17:57:36 UTC

I resent that my first thought on seeing a headline about the crab nebula was "oh god its some kind of openclaw video streaming thing"

2026-03-25 11:42:42 UTC

Spotted by a friend in Hawaii
https://assets.chaos.social/media_attachments/files/116/289/626/969/842/718/original/b66a941aea5ee1b9.jpg

2026-03-10 13:40:51 UTC

Someone buzzed our doorbell just to show us their bum
https://assets.chaos.social/media_attachments/files/116/205/154/419/229/420/original/c9fe8e803de5ff92.mp4

2026-03-08 14:02:56 UTC

Can't stop giggling at someone reviewing a toilet cistern connector and thinking the "customer image" upload was for a selfie
https://assets.chaos.social/media_attachments/files/116/193/917/152/413/016/original/b0f369aa4b6901e3.png

2026-03-03 14:50:52 UTC

Extremely cursed adapter. Someone please ban my aliexpress account.
https://assets.chaos.social/media_attachments/files/116/165/791/047/384/738/original/6cd96a9a16092690.jpg
https://assets.chaos.social/media_attachments/files/116/165/791/091/764/853/original/797584717185f0bb.jpg

2026-03-01 22:30:32 UTC

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has the famous email address dot@dotat.at

2026-03-01 12:40:44 UTC

Today a bunch of my open-source projects got slammed by incorrect AI-written vulnerability reports demanding $299 for disclosure
https://assets.chaos.social/media_attachments/files/116/153/959/000/844/073/original/52c4a86051bf97c5.png

2026-02-16 11:34:20 UTC

Five years ago I pointed out nearly all NFT's were going to break when the startup who minted them goes bust, causing people to get *extremely* mad at me until everyone concluded that I was correct.
Thought I'd check in on the two examples I used and well
https://assets.chaos.social/media_attachments/files/116/080/033/050/444/708/original/985c4de50de354be.png
https://assets.chaos.social/media_attachments/files/116/080/043/708/819/151/original/7f6d759670889bdd.png
https://assets.chaos.social/media_attachments/files/116/080/044/924/047/050/original/591aed0c606404e6.png

2026-02-15 00:43:14 UTC

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Is this because you have an antenna or a camera on the end of it

2026-02-15 00:37:45 UTC

Apologies to my neighbours for flying a drone at near midnight. In my defence, I wanted to try and see a big laser 5km away and their houses were in the way.