The VHS Wizard 🦝📼🧙

Actor / Cartoonist / Author / Humorist (and kinda bad at all of them), but I've failed at more things than most people have tried.

Married, poly, old and in a lot of pain. Played a doctor on TV. Former G+ Influencer. An actual wizard.

I know an unhealthy, generally worrying amount of things about the following topics:
#MST3K
#Rifftrax
#Riffing
#Tokusatsu
#SuperSentai
#KamenRider
#Cryptids
#1970sMadeForTVMovies
#Stargate
#DoctorWho

Public Key

npub135r0czxpaz258hzhzqpzq8250qn5uajg6hrwc6avvfh6m0q07dmsmcvujp

NIP-05 Address

thevhswizard@retro-pizza.mostr.pub

Profile Code

nprofile1qqsg6phuprq7392rm3t3qq3qr428sf6wweydt3hvdwkxymadhs8lxacpz3mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuerpd46hxtnfduqs6amnwvaz7tmwdaejumr0dsvwzfr8

Publishing to

relay.damus.io

nos.lol

relay.primal.net

Author Public Key

npub135r0czxpaz258hzhzqpzq8250qn5uajg6hrwc6avvfh6m0q07dmsmcvujp

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Last Notes

2026-10-16 18:28:37 UTC

Seeing news that Katie Zacharia, Trump's newest Press Secretary didn't even last the week.
I think she may be the fastest burn-out so far, beating out my personal favorite Anthony Scaramucci, who was Communications Director and only lasted 10 days.

2026-10-07 02:48:30 UTC

I don't need AI in order to be able to create images in other people's heads. I can skip over all that stuff and just tell people the prompts and let it happen.
Professor Charles Xavier attempting to do a Kamehameha attack from Dragonball Z, except he forgot to set the parking brakes on his wheelchair first.
See?

2026-09-24 13:54:49 UTC

I don't know how to get the eyes or ears of any big #Fediverse movers or shakers, but if someone out there who is good with code wants to jump on a golden opportunity, one is presenting itself.
A couple of days ago, Tapas warned all their creators that they were going to be shutting down. If you're not familiar with it, Tapas is a webcomics platform, and basically the only decent-sized alternative to Webtoon.
If we could throw together some sort of ActivityPub-backed Webcomics platform, we could use it as a way to get a lot more people using Fediverse-adjacent technology.
I don't have the time or energy to do any of this myself, and I am not good at coding, but I have been doing webcomics since the 1990s, and have watched the rise and fall of Keenspot, Drunk Duck, Wordpress and the RSS era, and now the modern "Walmart for Webcomics" era. This is a huge opportunity to present the Fediverse as a viable alternative.
#webcomics #webtoon #tapas #artists #activitypub

2026-08-14 14:33:09 UTC

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@nprofile…6j9z I always loved that Stargate was a serious scifi adventure show with big stakes, but wasn't afraid to have the occasional "fun" episode.
I think my favorite is probably O'Neill taking full advantage of the time loop resets (and I mean... full advantage) in Window of Opportunity.

2026-08-13 21:19:46 UTC

The Cloud is just someone else's computer.
The Cloud is JUST someone else's computer.
THE CLOUD IS JUST SOMEONE ELSE'S COMPUTER.
https://www.tomshardware.com/software/cloud-storage/nine-pbs-loses-access-to-70-years-of-data-after-contracted-cloud-storage-vendor-goes-defunct-public-tv-channel-sues-iron-mountain-data-center-which-hosts-archival-materials-to-ensure-preservation

2026-08-05 13:46:10 UTC

Was there a television manufacturer or something that had a logo that looked kinda like this?
#electronics #television #antiques
https://retro-pizza.s3.de.io.cloud.ovh.net/media_attachments/files/117/043/197/618/603/268/original/314fc387e0864ef7.png

2026-06-27 16:30:55 UTC

As more and more things like this start showing up in the wild, I'm starting to wonder about the ethics of... y'know... defacing/destroying them.
Like, if every time you found a low effort AI slop sign or advertisement, you pulled out ye olde Sharpee and wrote "AI SLOP" on it in big letters, or maybe lightly poked a bunch of holes in it, or cut it. Or just stole it.
Because a lot of the people who LOVE the AI art are the already-soulless corporate middle manager types, and for them, there's no point in arguing the ethics, the morals, the global warming implications.
They don't care, their only priority is to save money/spend less money.
And if they keep having to replace their AI-generated pug artwork over and over again because people keep stealing it and destroying it and defacing it and mocking it, that'll keep costing them more - more than it would if they'd paid a real artist in the first place.
Image and description stolen (with permission) from @nprofile…2pl2
#AI #AIArt #Vandalism
https://retro-pizza.s3.de.io.cloud.ovh.net/media_attachments/files/116/822/994/263/673/649/original/29d3ede52e190f87.jpg

2026-06-18 23:20:27 UTC

I love that on the regular internet, you can be like "I need to find out what part this is on my 2025 car" and all the results you get back are for car rentals, people trying to sell you a car, trying to buy your car, or AI slop videos explaining to you what a car is in the least intelligible way possible.
But... in the #Fediverse you can be like "anybody know the correct wiring layout and voltages for a 1974 "Passion-o-Meter" novelty Love Tester from Hanlon Amusements in Fairbanks, Alabama? I found one while doing recreational free diving in a cave system in Peru and I'm trying to put it back together again" and not only does NOBODY question any part of the insane statement made, but three people who happen to specialize in that exact sort of thing immediately emerge from the woodwork like the reverse of Homer Simpson going into the hedge.

2026-06-17 22:22:27 UTC

https://retro-pizza.s3.de.io.cloud.ovh.net/media_attachments/files/116/767/772/030/296/220/original/0c661a660d4192e2.png

2026-06-14 22:29:37 UTC

I know it's stupid, but it feels so nice to have a cat sit on me. We used to have cuddly cats but the ones we have now are not usually ones to sit on your lap or snuggle up next to you.
Gracie (shown here) is very weird, and while it's always ever on her own terms, this evening she has chosen to sit on my leg and stick her claws into me.
#catsofmastodon
https://retro-pizza.s3.de.io.cloud.ovh.net/media_attachments/files/116/750/815/729/321/775/original/bd11be258da50d91.jpg
https://retro-pizza.s3.de.io.cloud.ovh.net/media_attachments/files/116/750/816/105/787/161/original/0aed447003406957.jpg
https://retro-pizza.s3.de.io.cloud.ovh.net/media_attachments/files/116/750/816/297/529/558/original/42a8360ff32f7eb8.jpg

2026-06-04 16:44:48 UTC

I really hate it when searching for something with quotes around it doesn't bring up verbatim results.
That's like search 101, but search engines would rather give you a bunch of unrelated garbage than just go "there isn't anything about that".
I've come to expect that sort of useless filler bullshit from Google, I should NOT be getting that from DuckDuckGo.

2026-05-26 13:40:24 UTC

I have a pet theory that a lot of the people out there diagnosed with clinical depression actually just have terrible lives.

2026-04-29 14:19:55 UTC

Feeling weirdly sad and maudlin today. Anybody got anything cool or interesting that might cheer me up?

2026-04-22 15:15:03 UTC

Everybody talks about the guy pulling the sword out of the stone becoming king, but I think it would be a real power move to wield the sword while it's still inside the stone
Like, you may not technically be the "rightful" king, but if you've got a boulder with a handle, I am going to listen to you

2026-04-20 17:34:48 UTC

ITS HAPPENING
https://theonion.com/at-long-last-infowars-is-ours/

2026-04-15 18:04:33 UTC

WIZARDPOSTING
https://retro-pizza.s3.de.io.cloud.ovh.net/media_attachments/files/116/410/038/368/775/532/original/91daf62ca3c5c796.jpg

2026-04-06 19:46:10 UTC

I don't really know much about this particular sphere of the world, but if there's anybody who has a hyperfixation with educational software from the 1980s, it would be here on Mastodon.
Friend of mine is clearing out her parent's house and has found several old 5¼" floppy educational games for the Apple II. They've still got their original boxes, but have definitely been "loved".
I am always paranoid about lost media and software preservation... are these something anybody would... want? Is it worth trying to find people who are into this?
#RetroComputing #RetroGaming #AppleII #SoftwearPreservation
https://retro.pizza/system/media_attachments/files/116/359/458/460/756/517/original/278ad479c809bc3d.png
https://retro.pizza/system/media_attachments/files/116/359/469/348/159/879/original/3841381620679f42.png
https://retro.pizza/system/media_attachments/files/116/359/471/169/623/299/original/c1c7b83a9ead6893.png
https://retro.pizza/system/media_attachments/files/116/359/473/024/511/820/original/68efa074027f6ca5.png

2026-04-02 15:28:40 UTC

This is some peak cat entertainment
https://retro.pizza/system/media_attachments/files/116/335/813/917/385/640/original/a043caf93efe6a2f.mp4

2026-02-27 23:46:19 UTC

I am having some serious brain failure. I have to leave home tomorrow afternoon to go to an in-between point to get on the plain early Sunday morning to go to Korea.
Can anybody think of any last minute things I should be doing, packing, taking care of that I might not already have thought of?

2026-02-16 07:01:40 UTC

This is "Serious Business Bot"
Generally an insane fucked up design process, I started out trying to doodle a "helpful little robot" sort of like Vincent from The Black Hole, but it kept not being right and turned into a walking trash can, but the straight from the front/back view was kinda meh so I tried remaking it from a side angle, and in toggling between those two views I realized it was basically walking, and then it became an animation
#PixelArt #BakaChibiMon
https://retro.pizza/system/media_attachments/files/116/079/013/206/110/907/original/29689fee07cd8a58.mp4

2026-02-13 03:58:59 UTC

Epituft is an unknown type of ghost that has been dead for so long that it's become one with the grave itself, now wearing it's own tombstone as a sort of... hat. To those without supernatural powers, it just looks like a chunk of floating dirt with a stone slab on top.
Don't lend them money, you won't get it back.
#BakaChibiMon #PixelArt
https://retro.pizza/system/media_attachments/files/116/061/305/673/687/754/original/f20c2c31a263d42f.mp4

2026-02-07 14:15:13 UTC

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@nprofile…nekg Citizens United wasn't necessarily where it all started to go wrong (we have never NOT been in a downward spiral}, however, it was the point when they removed the break and just added a second even stronger gas pedal.
It's basically like the Council of Nicaea for the financialization and enshitification of American politics

2026-02-06 02:53:26 UTC

And apparently we're just doing birds now.
Anyway, this is the Flamingofuckyourself
#PixelArt #BakaChibiMon
https://retro.pizza/system/media_attachments/files/116/021/419/215/310/499/original/828c4347cc523044.png

2026-01-29 02:30:33 UTC

It's time for the return of the Raccoon Wizard. I present to you... Trash Cantrip!
#PixelArt #BakaChibiMon
https://retro.pizza/system/media_attachments/files/115/976/031/336/525/093/original/1c69a55f3bf3ab0b.png

2026-01-28 05:40:52 UTC

Don't talk to Capyabusiness until he's had his coffee
#PixelArt #BakaChibiMon
https://retro.pizza/system/media_attachments/files/115/971/111/801/371/936/original/6a56001ff358052e.png

2026-01-25 21:23:13 UTC

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Helps if I actually attach the artwork
https://retro.pizza/system/media_attachments/files/115/957/836/864/156/006/original/a8bced3053e9b735.png

2026-01-25 19:37:47 UTC

Was trying hard to find a good name for this guy, kept itterating on "stump" names and puns and then it hit me...
Amputree
#PixelArt #BakaChibiMon

2026-01-25 01:08:39 UTC

I call this one Moon Scream
#PixelArt #BakaChibiMon
https://retro.pizza/system/media_attachments/files/115/953/053/046/619/148/original/7cd21fb3271234d6.png

2026-01-24 05:11:21 UTC

Generic Movie Golem Thaum Spriggan
#PixelArt #BakaChibiMon
https://retro.pizza/system/media_attachments/files/115/948/347/993/313/194/original/403a03c723c2baf7.png

2026-01-24 04:13:48 UTC

This is Glam Reaper. He's what shows up when you die from a cocaine overdose.
Also, just a fun footnote, after running through several itterations of the name, the last one I floated was #StupidLilGuys
Here's the thing... In the late 90s, I was working on a parody of Pokemon called BakaChibiMon... which is basically 90s era weeb Japanese for Stupid Little Monsters. So... is it fate? Are the real lil guys the #BakaChibiMon we made along the way? You tell me.
#PixelArt
https://retro.pizza/system/media_attachments/files/115/948/086/140/427/641/original/023051ea20e91487.png

2026-01-22 01:26:15 UTC

Experimenting with muted colors for underwater and playing with transparencies.
Call this "Weird Little Guy" Brain O' War
#PixelArt #WeirdLittleGuys
https://retro.pizza/system/media_attachments/files/115/936/139/175/128/217/original/1b264113c32b32d0.png

2026-01-14 22:42:50 UTC

I feel incredibly bad for all the people who are signing up to the #Forkiverse instance and are likely going to have that be their first and only experience with Mastodon or the Fediverse.
It's like... if your first boat ride was the Titanic. Yes, sure, it's big and exciting and opulent and you're all going on this exciting adventure together, and that's great...
...but do it float?
Anyway, if you see this now or at some point in the future and suddenly need a life raft because you can hear the slosh slosh slosh of water getting closer and closer... Retro Pizza always has room for a couple more.

2026-01-09 14:18:19 UTC

The most frustrating thing about all the stuff that's going on right now is that this is LITERALLY the things that Alex Jones was warning everybody about from like 1999-2014 or so, but now that it's happening, he and all the gravy seals that he's been preaching to are on the side OF the evil governmental overreach, actively rooting for the things that they were so terrified of.
Which really reveals the actual game - they were never afraid of these things happening, they were only afraid of these things happening to THEM. Why? Because they knew that if THEY ever got into enough power, this is the thing that THEY would immediately do to the "other guy" (that's us).
I know it's kind of a meme, but man... every accusation really IS a confession, isn't it?
Secret government networks of pedophiles protecting one another, massive governmental overreach, dossiers of plans for several years ahead, one world government Jade Helm-style bullshit... it's all from THEIR playbook.

2025-12-09 16:50:36 UTC

If you have an Android/Google TV-based system, either on your tv by default or running off a secondary device (I have a bunch of the Onn Google TV boxes, they're fantastic) and you're tired of their terrible ad-filled default launcher OR using the very limited, awkward "Apps Only" mode, this launcher replacement works very, very well.
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.spocky.projengmenu
It's got a very default android experience, but ad-free, and with all the customization options that we should have by default but don't. Also, with some ADB shenanigans, you can also install widgets and stuff too.

2025-11-20 14:12:14 UTC

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@nprofile…scce
It's that old thing, the "if you're not paying for the product, it's because you ARE the product."
We pay for Mastodon. Maybe not you, individually, but someone does. Owners pay for hosting and bandwidth and storage and the domain and all that other fun stuff. And I've seen the numbers for some of these instances, they can be very... not cheap to run.
So, if you're on Mastodon and have a few bucks to chip in, see if your instance owner has a patreon or a kofi or something, maybe chip in and do your part.

2025-10-16 17:18:57 UTC

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@nprofile…p2dc And there are about to be a ton of them, from all the people and companies who have been convinced that Windows 10 "ending" means that they need to buy an entirely new computer.