Uncle Duke

https://universeodon.com/@UncleDuke1969

Does this look infected?

Public Key

npub14weulvzpysazgdx27e0fflfwm0ss82ns2ewf72st6vhysrakalgsft7rzk

NIP-05 Address

uncleduke1969_at_universeodon.com@momostr.pink

Profile Code

nprofile1qqs2hv70kpqjgw3yxn90vh55l5hdhcgr4fc9vhyl9g9axtjgp7mwl5gprpmhxue69uhhyetvv9ujumt0d4hhxarj9ecxjmntqywhwumn8ghj7mn0wd68yttsw43zuam9d3kx7unyv4ezumn9wsshk26h

Publishing to

relay.momostr.pink

nostr-pub.wellorder.net

yabu.me

Author Public Key

npub14weulvzpysazgdx27e0fflfwm0ss82ns2ewf72st6vhysrakalgsft7rzk

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Last Notes

2026-11-02 17:46:30 UTC

[doing homework]
son: who was president after george washington?
me: gomez addams
son: and then?
me: george jefferson
son: are you sure about these answers, dad?
me: absolutely
son: ok, who’s after jefferson?
me: oscar madison

2026-11-02 14:48:15 UTC

"Oh hey Bill, you’re home early.”
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/547/390/018/509/031/original/07b1b3662a7ca86a.jpeg

2026-11-01 17:14:50 UTC

Every year about this time, Leonard and Estelle went to go stay with her sister Carol in Toronto until the heat died down.
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/542/306/116/871/792/original/12504fdf313da549.webp

2026-11-01 14:04:20 UTC

wife: you should go move the clocks
me: no problem
[three hours later]
wife: where the fuck are all the clocks?

2026-10-31 14:01:05 UTC

alien graffiti can be pretty hurtful 😔
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/535/880/147/732/661/original/f1e2e846cd55b65d.png

2026-10-30 20:29:46 UTC

“It’s not funny, Charlie! Open your eyes and stop fucking around.”
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/531/745/580/733/880/original/28d2bdeecd07575f.jpeg

2026-10-30 13:36:49 UTC

they also carry a wide selection of hand gloves, leg pants, and head hats
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/530/121/743/683/026/original/9876480f6797bf08.png

2026-10-30 03:28:33 UTC

I finally stopped staring at this when I thought I smelled toast.
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/527/724/720/622/755/original/1c1229f90879d790.png

2026-10-29 22:08:48 UTC

Arnie had never seen a Canadian dog before, and truthfully, he was a little freaked out.
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/526/473/571/803/583/original/8e81e100ded57d23.jpeg

2026-10-29 13:27:30 UTC

speak your truth
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/524/421/555/942/220/original/6c3a17708fbbf02c.jpeg

2026-10-28 21:56:23 UTC

regulations are killing free enterprise
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/520/758/740/393/638/original/fee01a904baac087.jpeg

2026-10-28 12:31:03 UTC

We swore we weren’t gonna get another grandma after the last one died, but when we saw this one at the shelter, we just knew we had to have her.
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/518/540/634/655/414/original/a66bf6983592cc1f.webp

2026-10-28 00:09:18 UTC

Whoever did this and I would get along well.
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/515/624/192/627/730/original/5032b9bf84f9980a.webp

2026-10-27 13:22:34 UTC

“First, I’d like to say how excited we both are to be here with you this morning.”
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/513/081/959/105/538/original/5436de0074e8d660.webp

2026-10-26 17:54:31 UTC

sons of bibliography
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/508/488/607/274/279/original/71b14399e7f54bd6.webp

2026-10-26 13:53:07 UTC

AS IF I DIDN’T HAVE ENOUGH TO WORRY ABOUT
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/507/537/241/982/984/original/dc07fb9fa1ff968d.jpeg

2026-10-25 22:29:22 UTC

“Good morning, my little minions.”
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/503/906/789/508/335/original/1b8559af09e85e7e.webp

2026-10-25 14:16:08 UTC

nor does gravity
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/501/962/091/214/075/original/6dc1d749067c436d.jpeg

2026-10-24 18:10:25 UTC

“Thank you for coming to my TED Talk, Intro to Webcasting.”
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/497/221/677/529/012/original/5c4411b6f8337e2f.jpeg

2026-10-24 13:43:29 UTC

One evening, several years ago, after nearly half a century, I was finally able to fulfill a lifelong ambition. A man walked into my store, obviously drunk, and asked me to call him a cab. I looked him squarely in the eyes and said, “You’re a cab.” Keep the faith, people. Dreams really do come true.

2026-10-23 17:51:37 UTC

'Tis some visitor," I muttered,
"tapping at my treehouse door."
Quoth the Piglet, "It's Eeyore!"
- Edgar Allan Pooh

2026-10-23 13:18:40 UTC

“I see the problem.”
“Yeah?”
“This is Maple Street.”
“Isn’t that what it says?”
“You want Maple AVENUE.”
“Sorry, I’m covering for Dan.”
“Is Dan okay?”
“Shingles.”
“That’s a shame.”
“I’m Jill, by the way.”
“Where are my manners, I’m Ted.”
“Nice to meet you, Ted.”
“You too, Jill.”
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/490/416/241/978/373/original/74c3114c479550b4.webp

2026-10-22 22:36:29 UTC

one ring to rule them all
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/486/947/944/724/760/original/645e62c6d3c1b5bf.jpeg

2026-10-22 14:00:33 UTC

It was quickly becoming apparent that Nelson might have slightly overstated his qualifications on the job application.
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/484/918/430/521/815/original/3daaa52bf1290110.webp

2026-10-21 18:20:03 UTC

A. Gerald enjoys museums
B. Scott enjoys museums
C. Gerald loves antiquing
D. Scott loves antiquing
E. Gerald fits Scott
F. Scott Fitzgerald

2026-10-21 13:37:35 UTC

no their not
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/479/164/926/595/938/original/9f3c9f951b0064e3.png

2026-10-21 00:43:36 UTC

"There's a museum near here."
"Any good restaurants?"
"Also, a fantastic old church."
"Does it say where we should eat?"
"We can also take a walking tour."
"I feel like I'm not being heard, Martin.”
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/476/118/897/736/850/original/76b1c1ae568d3ba0.jpeg

2026-10-20 17:43:40 UTC

“Regardless of what Newton said, gravity is just a theory that you humans choose to accept as fact. If you simply refuse to take it as a given, then the whole paradigm shifts. Anyway Janice, when you’ve got a minute, the litter in my box could really stand a change.”
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/474/470/184/717/318/original/e1ed55aa0e12d757.webp

2026-10-20 13:03:29 UTC

“And when you turn the left tap?”
“Kittens.”
“I’ll take it.”
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/473/368/899/632/503/original/5d5270f755eac28e.png

2026-10-20 01:03:45 UTC

A noise in the night
Has brought me awake
So I grab my coat
And a lamp I do take
I slip out of the tent
And creep down to the lake
When I see something move
And my hands start to shake
Could it be a bear?
Or a poisonous snake?
So I shine my light
And there can be no mistake
It’s
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/470/537/694/061/876/original/a05950db89913e0a.png

2026-10-19 23:35:44 UTC

Roses are red
Pumpkins are orange
Poems are stupid

2026-10-19 17:57:24 UTC

HOUR 5:
Legs beginning to cramp and I really have to pee. Nice lady brought me pretzel from food court. Still awaiting further instructions, but am starting to have my doubts. Must stay strong.
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/468/859/795/394/577/original/d1cf7143d67e6949.png

2026-10-19 13:20:19 UTC

the survival instinct is strong in this one
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/467/772/248/909/010/original/c6511751db6a390c.png

2026-10-18 23:26:11 UTC

"Hi Mom. Yeah, I'm still at Christopher's house. We were playing on this wheel he has and it's SO COOL! Anyway, his mother wants to know if I can stay for dinner. What? Grilled cheese, I think. Wait, I'll ask. My mom wants to know if you have any lactose-free."
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/464/491/791/951/651/original/56b96873c50a44fc.png

2026-10-18 17:07:40 UTC

We share myriad facial expressions with our simian cousins. Among the most common are those engendered by happiness, anger, surprise, fear, sadness, and kale.
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/462/997/344/888/001/original/0737a1a7fe182dc6.png

2026-10-18 00:45:38 UTC

“Listen Barbara, I’ll be at my sister’s until you can get your shit together. Please don’t forget to water the plants.”
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/459/142/266/943/322/original/4e81fd3ce9c79fd7.png

2026-10-17 14:25:25 UTC

[best read with a French accent]
“I am so very sorry sir, without a reservation, there is simply nothing I can do for you.”
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/456/704/019/174/743/original/d6429b11cf025355.png

2026-10-16 22:08:08 UTC

I’m starting to think that this $49.95 “Landmarks of Europe Tour” might be bullshit.
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/452/844/592/277/752/original/069d03fcc5b01dbc.jpeg
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/452/845/943/439/324/original/c8199e5c146bf634.jpeg

2026-10-16 14:10:26 UTC

must have been one helluva chase
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/450/977/752/764/523/original/f1a05a9b0082b74e.png

2026-10-15 20:52:45 UTC

Most potential pet owners consider things like breeding, size, coat, intelligence, trainability, and temperament. Often overlooked is the crucially important element of aerodynamics, which can greatly affect your gas mileage, raising the overall cost of ownership significantly.
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/446/902/833/202/194/original/a8d2fc4832333ce9.webp

2026-10-15 13:28:16 UTC

Pigeons were used extensively during WWI and WWII, carrying information over enemy lines, and saving thousands of lives. Innate intelligence, speed and endurance served them well on missions, as did an uncanny talent for camouflage. See if you can spot the pigeon in this picture.
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/445/152/940/526/832/original/ea90bc875710cddb.png

2026-10-14 22:44:05 UTC

grandma: are you hungry?
me: maybe a little
grandma:
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/441/672/488/279/143/original/f968636f1377dae1.jpeg

2026-10-14 13:48:33 UTC

“Hurry up, Arnold! The wolf just took down your brother’s house and it looks like he’s headed this way!”
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/439/571/274/123/733/original/66d37f974c4f3747.png

2026-10-13 20:36:43 UTC

i'd be too worried about accidentally butt dialing my grandma
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/435/504/782/166/594/original/ee44550ea126ee33.jpeg

2026-10-13 14:30:09 UTC

An investigative unit, led by officer Arthur “Bugs” Bunnington, has arrested three members of the notorious “Garden Gnomes,” who’ve been terrorizing the neighborhood for weeks. Multiple items, including this 14ct necklace, have been recovered.
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/434/064/570/572/691/original/43fa1432e8ab0c16.jpeg

2026-10-12 18:30:35 UTC

"We shall bite on the beaches, we shall bite on the landing grounds, we shall bite in the fields and in the streets, we shall bite in the hills; we shall never surrender!"
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/429/356/438/996/794/original/739cfcc25687112a.png

2026-10-12 13:30:32 UTC

- reply

scary scarry

2026-10-12 13:30:15 UTC

Spotty took the flask from his jacket and drained it in a single pull. He pictured his wife, lying on a beach in Jamaica with her yoga instructor, and his vision clouded. Blowing past the sign for Dead Man’s Curve doing 80, he was jolted back to reality by a cacophony of screams.
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/428/174/947/039/704/original/58753f98b8e7a932.png

2026-10-11 23:23:21 UTC

now i remember why i stopped drinking tequila
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/424/845/420/127/312/original/06f0bc84ea10c3cb.jpeg

2026-10-11 16:34:02 UTC

“I think it might be time to cut back on the energy drinks, Elliott.”
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/423/229/543/069/289/original/33c9eb84a1686a71.jpeg

2026-10-10 13:41:17 UTC

Marvin stared at the painting of his great grandfather, who had survived two wars, worked three jobs to support his fourteen children, and eventually died saving a box full of kittens from a fire, and thought to himself, "You know, if I knocked that over, I could sleep on it."
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/416/897/390/930/394/original/bd9509dc7bfca90c.png

2026-10-09 19:22:18 UTC

[furniture store]
wife: we're putting in a bar
salesman: okay
me: *giggles*
wife: and…
salesman: yes?
me: *giggles*
wife: go ahead, just say it
me: WE NEED A STOOL SAMPLE

2026-10-09 13:49:21 UTC

“Christopher! What’s the rule?”
“Don’t eat the Amazon guy?”
“The other rule.”
“Don’t eat the UPS guy?”
“The OTHER rule.”
“Stay off the furniture?”
“That’s right.”
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/411/265/737/264/579/original/9fec14825623b6e8.png

2026-10-08 15:57:16 UTC

WIFE: We want to renew our vows.
ME: *hands priest paper*
WIFE: We wrote them ourselves.
PRIEST: *pointing* What’s this word?
WIFE: “Combatant.”

2026-10-07 23:46:26 UTC

ME: I’m a little drunk.
HER: I know.
ME: You’re very beautiful.
HER: Thank you.
ME: Do I look okay naked?
HER: You do.
ME: Do you like my penis?
HER: It’s very nice.
ME: Big, too.
HER: Yes it is.
ME: What now?
HER: I have to call the police.
ME: Why?
HER: Starbucks policy, sir.

2026-10-07 15:29:19 UTC

tell me without telling me that you’re behind on your child support payments
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/400/325/211/162/853/original/a44413e180893a4e.png

2026-10-06 19:09:14 UTC

Recently, there have been several stick-ups and one Axe murder (in the first Degree). Management has made no Secret of the need to increase security, but still haven’t found the Right Guard. Finding themselves underarmed, the crime wave continues to roll on.
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/395/529/386/647/657/original/fdce96e84a03f9f3.png

2026-10-06 15:25:00 UTC

i've seen some terrible puns but this is really the last straw
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/394/652/442/442/688/original/64c0d3e6c6466f70.png

2026-10-06 00:31:47 UTC

“That there’s a damn shame, Bill. Yeah, no, sorry, I didn’t see anything. I was visiting my sister’s tree over on Morgan. I’ll ask around and let you know if I hear something, though. Geez, what a world, am I right? Anyway, your homeowners policy should cover it, no?”
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/391/137/563/278/328/original/d50e4e495170127f.png

2026-10-05 18:03:41 UTC

Reply to an obvious joke with a serious answer so I know that you were home-schooled.

2026-10-04 17:00:13 UTC

Looks like somebody dragged their parents into the souvenir shop at Disney World.
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/383/699/819/590/282/original/5acc82400bc22469.png

2026-10-04 14:00:49 UTC

quite often a suspect can be spotted loitering around the crime scene
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/382/996/192/319/251/original/75c58425bd94ed65.png

2026-10-04 00:32:49 UTC

“So my wife walks in out of the rain, soaked from head to toe, and I say, ‘Look kids, it’s a drizzly bear!’ She hasn’t spoken to me in two days, but it was totally worth it.”
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/379/818/965/823/093/original/5ca3cc3a8e30f110.png

2026-10-03 16:19:46 UTC

Norwegian death metal band Hvalross to release new album “Blood in the Water” this Friday. The first single, “Something Smells Fishy” is available to stream now on all major services.
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/377/880/503/444/849/original/bbf183eab31ee0c6.png

2026-10-03 14:05:34 UTC

punk’s not dead
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/377/350/075/629/468/original/fc2f90426d6aa191.png

2026-10-02 13:15:10 UTC

“Okay, now before you say anything, just hear us out. It’s actually kind of a funny story.”
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/371/492/694/458/461/original/fde9f9cca08b6ce1.png

2026-10-02 01:07:07 UTC

you gotta be super careful when summoning demons cuz you mispronounce one word and things get weird
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/368/627/839/320/808/original/c47dcc98f72bb338.png

2026-10-01 20:55:34 UTC

No thanks, I’ll stay right hur.
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/367/643/432/408/104/original/168425c1c6578ad0.png

2026-10-01 13:23:36 UTC

“Don’t be an idiot, Harry. Just ask him for directions.”
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/365/865/597/989/220/original/c6d1a5a10f3ebfb3.png

2026-09-30 18:13:29 UTC

"Relax, honey. It's more scared of you than you are of it."
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/361/338/172/038/688/original/6bd90e6ef8cb98e1.jpeg

2026-09-30 14:59:30 UTC

He was always the star
Never took second billing
It was not for reward
For he asked not a shilling
Be it beef, squab, or pork
He stood ready and willing
There could be no career
More noble or thrilling
Than to serve His Highness
As a savory filling
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/360/569/847/693/455/original/a7363a7d0e173ecd.png

2026-09-29 15:55:46 UTC

♫ I’m a little teapot ♫
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/355/127/010/969/995/original/b2068cf42e86f752.png

2026-09-29 13:26:00 UTC

“Thomas, Albert and I will take tea in the library.”
“Very good, sir.”
“Also, please see if Mrs. Wickham still has any of those delightful salmon biscuits.”
“Of course, sir.”
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/354/547/287/964/982/original/02c68bed08a70c7c.png

2026-09-28 16:38:25 UTC

*sticks pinky out*
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/349/641/671/625/478/original/0c65459093dd5928.png

2026-09-28 13:39:04 UTC

just put together a Dögg from IKEA, but I think I screwed something up
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/348/938/871/338/654/original/c8c354f7047b88cc.png

2026-09-27 16:36:57 UTC

debbie sounds like fun
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/343/970/619/175/081/original/98b8daf015cf2d22.png

2026-09-26 23:46:54 UTC

At my age, some days the glass is half full, some days the glass is half empty. Either way, I have to pee.

2026-09-26 18:31:18 UTC

ME: *rings neighbor’s doorbell* I think I ran over your cat.
NEIGHBOR: Oh no! What did the cat look like?
ME: *makes surprised face*

2026-09-26 13:09:06 UTC

“I’m so glad you find this amusing, Patricia.”
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/337/496/314/667/117/original/b7d420d6e198aa2a.png

2026-09-25 19:25:41 UTC

they’re just heading into the office early to ketchup on some paperwork
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/333/315/963/233/435/original/9ff4576d0baece7a.png

2026-09-25 13:32:01 UTC

“You really don’t have to walk with me, Doug.”
“Nah, it’s fine. We’re early and I never get to do this.”
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/331/924/559/998/405/original/2a0423e0892b7735.png

2026-09-24 19:01:47 UTC

"Hush, Horatio. Did you not hear the Dark Lord's call? Go now and summon the others, for it is the time of The Reaping. Soon we shall be bathing in the blood of our enemies."
"I don't know, Max. I'm pretty sure that was just a can opener."
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/327/558/961/012/879/original/ec2d8cf8591ac93b.png

2026-09-24 12:39:43 UTC

The assassin stared into his victim’s disbelieving eyes as the life slowly drained from them, avoiding the blood still spurting from where his teeth had pierced their jugular. Jarred from his reverie by a woman’s screams behind him, he hopped away, a siren rising in the distance.
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/326/056/096/580/227/original/f70c7e7b6cfcd948.png

2026-09-23 23:26:08 UTC

- reply

j'accuse
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/322/938/009/528/845/original/15641f3480a027b1.png

2026-09-23 23:14:16 UTC

i’m no hercule poirot but
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/322/889/248/046/741/original/c79649ea045a8a56.png

2026-09-23 21:10:45 UTC

bought ten cuz i wanna get effin jacked
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/322/403/871/577/431/original/7ff9ee218bdcb719.png

2026-09-23 14:41:45 UTC

“Where’s Chris?”
“I don’t know.”
“You told him three o’clock?”
“Like ten times.”
“Fucking drummers.”
“Should we wait a little longer?”
“Screw him, take the picture.”
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/320/872/747/655/224/original/0a3ea8059c4d4b8d.png

2026-09-22 17:29:13 UTC

There’s nothing quite like that perfect moment, standing in the dark, watching your favorite band perform live, when you finally hear the eight magical words you’ve been longing to hear, “This is a song from the new album,” because you’ve desperately had to pee for the last hour.

2026-09-22 13:53:29 UTC

Three years of planning, two bribed security guards, and one unlocked warehouse door later, Nancy had finally freed her family from the hellscape that was Kohl’s. After the brief, but intoxicating moment of exultation passed, she was left with just one burning question. Now what?
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/315/022/334/341/986/original/61b173e9d8212d37.png

2026-09-21 19:24:17 UTC

i only took this job in sales for a global prosthetics company so i could tell everyone that i was an international arms dealer

2026-09-21 13:49:31 UTC

it’s getting harder and harder to tell the difference between who’s kidding and who’s stupid

2026-09-20 20:53:05 UTC

“Ladies, ladies… I need you all to stay together. Now, does everyone have their tickets?”
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/305/348/204/580/668/original/1baab11ce8c85998.png

2026-09-20 13:20:48 UTC

After a bitter divorce, and her very public nervous breakdown at a London night club, Flüf returns with her most personal album yet. 𝘞𝘢𝘭𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘯 𝘌𝘨𝘨𝘴𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘴 drops this Friday. The first single, the visceral “Pluck You,” is available now on all major streaming services.
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/303/563/811/482/326/original/9cd7106469eb765b.png

2026-09-20 01:48:27 UTC

The Incredenzables
#FurnitureMovies
#HashTagGames

2026-09-20 01:42:39 UTC

Citizen Cane Chair
#FurnitureMovies
#HashTagGames

2026-09-19 23:01:52 UTC

i learned as a teenager that wearing oversized t-shirts doesn’t make me look any skinnier and at fifty-seven i’ve yet to act on this knowledge

2026-09-19 16:12:30 UTC

“Well, I hope you’ve learned your lesson, Jessica.”
“I have. I’m never drinking again.”
“Good. When you’re done, my food bowl is empty.”
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/298/580/539/864/610/original/f205db923078c29f.png

2026-09-18 18:36:20 UTC

Much like the mayfly (Ephemeroptera), the cinnamon roll (Tastius Pastrius), has an expected lifespan of only 5 minutes. Unfortunately for this poor creature, it enters the world fully self-aware, entirely comprehending its fate.
https://media.universeodon.com/media_attachments/files/117/293/467/711/885/605/original/43c654dd1ed7d811.png

2026-09-18 15:03:56 UTC

[Africa]
NUN: I'm feeling rather ill.
PRIEST: Should I send for the village doctor?
NUN: No, thank you.
PRIEST: How about the missionary physician?
NUN: I'm not in the mood, I told you I was sick.

2026-09-17 23:41:21 UTC

i've gone from the guy you'd go up to at a concert because i looked like i probably sold weed to the guy you go up to because i look like someone who probably knows where the bathroom is