Computer Facts

nobody knows how computers work but now you can

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Last Notes

2026-10-14 03:07:50 UTC

death death death to the PDF death death to the PDF

2026-08-28 16:51:28 UTC

war is peace
freedom is slavery
ignorance is strength
instability is stability
bloat is lean
crashing is running
bad performance is good performance
hope is wasteful
humiliation is dignity

2026-08-22 16:05:53 UTC

the only operating system left without ai slop in its implementation is temple os

2026-08-10 15:02:17 UTC

move slow and make things

2026-07-26 13:13:16 UTC

can an omnipotent god write an open source library so badly documented that even they cannot use it?

2026-07-11 14:59:38 UTC

unfortunately the greatest programming language possible was already designed and created on some hobbyist's laptop that they didnt show anyone out of anxiety and abandoned to focus on their paid job optimizing ad reach for a sports betting platform

2026-06-29 22:06:45 UTC

if the matrix was real it would be a product with a subscription fee and people would wait impatiently on waitlists before proudly enter their pods

2026-06-17 13:21:38 UTC

the best way to write a computer program is to go a little bit insane first

2026-05-26 14:43:11 UTC

"man pages" you mean grindr?

2026-05-12 02:03:58 UTC

"if you don't build me a world eating data center my shitty autocomplete algorithm will run slow :(" meanwhile in the 90s if your code needed more than a few bytes of ram they just took you into the parking lot and shot you

2026-05-06 10:39:04 UTC

every single computer program written by a corporation will eventually betray you yes even that one you really like

2026-04-27 00:19:24 UTC

you are not immune to ai psychosis

2026-04-01 12:06:57 UTC

they are solving the year 2038 problem by making sure we never make it that far

2026-04-01 11:11:50 UTC

the future is here and everything must be destroyed

2026-03-28 21:34:56 UTC

a "software vegan" is someone who refuses to consume software that was not produced ethically by human hands

2026-03-28 16:17:47 UTC

t̶h̶r̶o̶u̶g̶h̶ ̶c̶a̶r̶e̶f̶u̶l̶ ̶w̶e̶i̶g̶h̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶t̶r̶a̶d̶e̶-̶o̶f̶f̶s̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶r̶e̶q̶u̶i̶r̶e̶m̶e̶n̶t̶s̶ ̶w̶e̶ ̶c̶a̶n̶ ̶m̶a̶k̶e̶ ̶s̶o̶u̶n̶d̶ ̶e̶n̶g̶i̶n̶e̶e̶r̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶d̶e̶c̶i̶s̶i̶o̶n̶s̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶b̶a̶l̶a̶n̶c̶e̶ ̶p̶e̶r̶f̶o̶r̶m̶a̶n̶c̶e̶,̶ ̶m̶a̶i̶n̶t̶a̶i̶n̶a̶b̶i̶l̶i̶t̶y̶,̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶f̶u̶n̶c̶t̶i̶o̶n̶a̶l̶i̶t̶y̶ try adding "don't make mistakes" to the prompt

2026-03-22 04:50:54 UTC

please verify your age before consuming any more facts

2026-03-21 16:58:58 UTC

metaverse wasn't inevitable
ar glasses weren't inevitable
blockchain wasn't inevitable
nfts we'rent inevitable
ai isn't inevitable
nothing is inevitable!!!!
the ultimate hidden truth of the world is that it is something that we make
and could just as easily make differently
make choices
make choices
make choices

2026-03-12 11:52:54 UTC

the only people who think "write code faster" is more important than "write code better" are money perverts and the intellectually infirm

2026-03-10 12:08:36 UTC

butlerian jihad is the moderate position

2026-02-08 20:23:19 UTC

we made everything worse
but, on the other hand, it's also very expensive
however, rest assured, it's also killing the planet

2026-01-16 17:17:53 UTC

computers can either be magic or a mall and everyone hot and interesting voted for magic but the people with all the guns and money voted mall, so

2026-01-02 23:14:02 UTC

dont forget to delete your unused files
and your used files too if you want

2025-12-28 17:46:26 UTC

the guy with a flamethrower burning down your house shakes his head and says that fire is inevitable
he tells you that you should not be a luddite
that you should stop standing in the way of progress
that you should buy one of the fireproof suits he sells
like everyone else did
when he burned down their houses

2025-12-08 18:19:19 UTC

giving impressionable still-developing young men "ai girlfriends" who cannot ever say no and that they can customize with sliders and parameters down to minuscule detail will probably break them in unfixable ways and permanently foreclose on their healthy participation in human relationships but beep boop what does computer know

2025-12-04 18:45:53 UTC

javascript just turned 30 which means it cannot afford a house in the current market and has moved back in with its parents

2025-11-25 16:27:44 UTC

to answer the question "is the ai better than the junior dev" the fool will ask "how good is the ai's code" and the wise man will ask "how many lakes does the junior dev drink in one day"

2025-11-17 21:59:51 UTC

they killed god and replaced her with an autocomplete and a subscription model and the devil does not haunt this world anymore because our souls are no longer worth taking

2025-11-10 12:55:17 UTC

emacs users are a protected group under federal law and as such you cannot be mean to them

2025-11-04 13:14:37 UTC

computers used to be annoying. they still are but they used to be too.

2025-10-23 18:52:17 UTC

you used to be able to kill or at least wound a computer with the wave of a magnet but theyve since evolved resistance to such primitive attacks

2025-10-21 13:57:07 UTC

due to the ongoing aws outage all computer facts are currently unavailable instead please enjoy this bagel fact: did you know that they actually start with the hole and work outwards? thats bagels for you

2025-10-16 22:59:31 UTC

one of the remaining hard problems in computer science is why does every open source gui have to look like garbage from a toilet

2025-08-28 16:15:28 UTC

programming languages are not "good" or "bad" they just all fit different programmers' specific mental illnesses differently

2025-08-27 14:15:42 UTC

in another serious lapse many programming languages have a `this` keyword which refers to the "current object" but none have a `that` keyword that refers to "that object over there"

2025-06-10 00:19:53 UTC

extremely funny actually to be a self-driving car heading to a location beeping and booping like its any other day only to become a burning barricade against fascism
https://cdn.masto.host/factscomputer/media_attachments/files/114/656/195/898/029/997/original/c86784721791b365.png

2025-05-29 18:57:41 UTC

economy is so bad you cant even get a cron job

2025-05-27 16:59:23 UTC

lisp you have to stop. You smoke too tough. Your swag too different. Your bitch is too bad. they’ll kill you
https://cdn.masto.host/factscomputer/media_attachments/files/114/580/857/180/812/978/original/75f453951339f08e.png

2025-05-19 16:31:04 UTC

late for my shift at the vibe factory
working hard churning out vibes at the vibe factory
promoted to floor manager at the vibe factory
crushed to death by falling machinery at the vibe factory

2025-05-02 16:31:12 UTC

please ensure your password is at least 512 characters long and enable 12 factor authentication thank you

2025-05-01 18:48:23 UTC

please dont tarrif the island inhabited solely by penguins thats where linux gets made

2025-04-23 20:46:16 UTC

there's another internet, buried under this internet, and it also sucks

2025-04-23 19:06:51 UTC

why not computer for pope

2025-04-20 20:25:50 UTC

fucking lol if you think you can "eradicate autism" and still have computers

2025-04-15 08:01:50 UTC

asking ai to read my emails and give me a bullet point summary
asking ai to watch that movie I've been meaning to see and give me a bullet point summary
asking ai to read those poems my best friend sent me and give me a bullet point summary
asking ai to fuck my boyfriend and give me a bullet point summary
asking ai to grow old and gray surrounded by the laughter of loved ones and accept the embrace of death with peace and without fear having lived a full life and give me a bullet point summary

2025-04-12 14:43:56 UTC

simple: every big dick computer guy who's so good at computer that he gets to decide whether or not democracy is allowed to exist should be made to prove the halting problem's undecidability at gun point

2025-03-18 15:13:33 UTC

corporation: hey! you want ai in everything right?
people: not really
corporation: *puts gun on table* hey! you want ai in everything right?

2025-01-16 13:11:31 UTC

https://cdn.masto.host/factscomputer/media_attachments/files/113/838/193/661/437/043/original/fb241f6478e274dd.png