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Public Key

npub1dadnz09c88redcey9aj83j95ams3y0tts824nd2p3eu0f2pltp6q4a9gj7

Profile Code

nprofile1qqsx7ke38jurn3ukuvjz7ercez6wacgj844cr42ek4qcu7854ql4saqpz3mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuerpd46hxtnfduq3vamnwvaz7tmjv4kxz7fwwpexjmtpdshxuet5qyxhwumn8ghj7mn0wvhxcmmvqyv8wumn8ghj7un9d3shjtnndehhyapwwdhkx6tpdsqs7amnwvaz7tmwdaehgu3wd4hk6wc4jug

Publishing to

Last Notes

2026-10-27 19:00:54 UTC

Why did the baseball player bring a ladder?
...
To reach the high scores.

2026-10-26 19:00:54 UTC

Why was the calendar so confident?
...
Because it had so many dates.

2026-10-24 19:00:53 UTC

Why did the belt go to therapy?
...
It was feeling a little strapped.

2026-10-22 19:00:54 UTC

Why don’t birds use social media?
...
Because they already tweet enough.

2026-10-21 19:00:52 UTC

How come the stadium got hot after the game?
...
Because all of the fans left.

2026-10-19 19:00:51 UTC

Why was it called the dark ages?
...
Because of all the knights.

2026-10-18 19:00:51 UTC

Why did the coffee file a police report?
...
It got mugged.

2026-10-17 19:00:51 UTC

What do you call an owl that does magic?
...
Hoo-dini.

2026-10-16 19:00:51 UTC

How does a penguin build it’s house?
...
Igloos it together.

2026-10-15 19:00:51 UTC

How do trees access the internet?
...
They log in.

2026-10-14 19:00:52 UTC

Why did the orange stop rolling?
...
Because it ran out of juice.

2026-10-13 19:00:51 UTC

Why did the computer keep freezing?
...
Because it left its Windows open.

2026-10-12 19:00:51 UTC

How do cows keep up with current events?
...
They watch the moo-s.

2026-10-11 19:00:51 UTC

What do you call a pile of cats?
...
A meowtain.

2026-10-10 19:00:51 UTC

I burned 2000 calories today
...
I left my food in the oven for too long.

2026-10-08 19:00:50 UTC

Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of socks?
...
In case he got a hole in one.

2026-10-07 19:00:50 UTC

I don't trust stairs.
...
They're always up to something.

2026-10-06 19:00:50 UTC

What has four wheels and flies?
...
A garbage truck!

2026-10-04 19:00:50 UTC

I just bought a dictionary but all of the pages are blank.
...
I have no words to describe how mad I am.

2026-10-03 19:00:50 UTC

Spring is here!
...
I got so excited I wet my plants!

2026-10-02 20:00:49 UTC

What do you call a fake stone in Ireland?
...
A sham-rock.

2026-10-01 20:00:49 UTC

What kind of music do mummy's like?
...
Rap

2026-09-30 20:00:49 UTC

Why did the orange stop rolling?
...
Because it ran out of juice.

2026-09-29 20:00:49 UTC

CASHIER: "Would you like the milk in a bag, sir?"
...
DAD: "No, just leave it in the carton!’”

2026-09-28 20:00:49 UTC

What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit?
...
A blood orange.

2026-09-27 20:00:48 UTC

What do you call corn that joins the army?
...
Kernel.

2026-09-26 20:00:48 UTC

How do cows count?
...
With a cow-culator.

2026-09-24 20:00:48 UTC

I had a dream that I was a muffler last night.
...
I woke up exhausted!

2026-09-23 20:00:48 UTC

Why are mummys scared of vacation?
...
They're afraid to unwind.

2026-09-21 20:00:48 UTC

Why don’t vampires go to barbecues?
...
Because they don’t like stakes.

2026-09-20 20:00:48 UTC

What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock?
...
Look, no hands!

2026-09-19 20:00:48 UTC

Spring is here!
...
I got so excited I wet my plants!

2026-09-18 20:00:48 UTC

What do you call an owl that does magic tricks?
...
Hoodini.

2026-09-16 20:00:47 UTC

What do you call someone with no body and no nose?
...
Nobody knows.

2026-09-15 20:00:47 UTC

Anyone can be buried when they die
...
but if you want to be cremated then you have to urn it.

2026-09-14 20:00:47 UTC

Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
...
They don’t have the guts.

2026-09-13 20:00:47 UTC

I knew I shouldn't steal a mixer from work...
...
but it was a whisk I was willing to take.

2026-09-11 20:00:47 UTC

Want to hear a joke about a piece of paper? Never mind...
...
it's tearable.

2026-09-10 20:00:46 UTC

Why did the coffee file a police report?
...
It got mugged.

2026-09-09 20:00:47 UTC

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
...
Frostbite.

2026-04-25 20:00:27 UTC

When does a joke become a dad joke?
...
When it becomes apparent.

2026-03-18 19:00:07 UTC

What do you get when you cross a sheep and a kangaroo?
...
A woolly jumper.