Vox!! ♣️

♥️

VOXTEK CEO!
main : [@vox@feral.bond](https://doll.salon/@vox@feral.bond )
alt1 : [@vox@baise-moi.top](https://doll.salon/@vox@baise-moi.top )
alt2 : this account!
alt3 : Vox ♣ (npub1edw…3c2w)

new here so im taking my time to learn! not new on pedi tho lol nor in the radqueer community, my headmates started on tumblr!

Simplex :: https://smp17.simplex.im/a#2tnyxnklxbINQTAQ07M-ZBsCzRDS5lbyshDMeru8yIg
XMPP: vox@conversations.im
Matrix: [@voxtekceo](https://doll.salon/@voxtekceo ):xmr.se

Last Notes

2026-09-05 01:54:33 UTC

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nodnod yeah you're right, but still, I kinda promoted myself on tumblr and feral already, should I go like "BTW this is a DOA coven"? Because most people don't know about you or know negative stuff about you from where I found them/gq

2026-09-05 01:47:22 UTC

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how will covens work exactly if they're in a different instance tho? Will we have to somehow link them back to DOA (like with a URL or a description)/gq

2026-08-27 16:08:45 UTC

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where??

2026-08-25 20:33:22 UTC

did rp.o die or is it just me

2026-08-24 17:34:13 UTC

why does me and aco never get online at the same time recently it sucks that we both have to wait hours apart in a conversation. i miss aco

2026-08-24 01:25:50 UTC

i think the goal in life is to be happy, and i think its ok if you only manage to do that.

2026-08-24 01:09:11 UTC

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well i dont even know clearly because they keep coming and going lol. i guess maybe im also subconsciously repressing them? uuurgh its just me being. weird again. i should go to bed
but one thing thats been circling in my head and bothering me lately, even if only loosely linked, is that i have the feeling this is not going to go as far. revpara i mean. and i really want it to go far, more for your sake than mine. i just feel i cant contribute too much to your vision because i dont fit in it quite well and my own is too big, flying too close to the sun typa deal. idk my thoughts are messy and blurry currently, its probably the lack of sleep
i also do have doubts, mainly of myself, and other similar stuff and thoughts triggered by being on pedi but i dont know if those are contributing to me feeling bad or not. i just dont know if i made good decisions on pedi and where i should go moving forward. id say my ambitions are crushing me at times too. its a lot of things really, the more i think about it. and i dont wanna come off as a whiny emotional guy if its not already too late lol.
im gonna be honest too, i think my brain craves unhealthy fp bpd attachments, its better than in the past but not totally gone. but the good sides bring very bad sides too. i kinda wanna be attached to you unhealthily, or to anyone really, but i feel like i keep losing these people in a way, mostly that its not reciprocated. and for the ones that it is its somehow too healthy for my brain lol. but i dont think i wanna feed it that behavior in the end, i think its just better for everyone if i manage my bpd instead of leaning into it. man its weird how the mind is so predictable in the end huh.
anyway, ive also been kinda thinking about my ex who left me over you, and i know we had some issues even without you in the picture and that its for the best, but i still feel attached to them to some extend, and sometimes the thoughts of "what if" just creep back in.
and whats more related to pedi would be that i do question myself sometimes if its all worth it, the illegal and non illegal stuff alike. like why take the risk of being outed as a pedo, offending or not (the antis will take it as a bad thing regardless so it doesnt matter lol), and having my system's irl life ruined for an aspect of my identity that is only a part of it, not its whole? just hearing again and again of people being outed as para makes me dread so badly that itll happen to me if i become famous (fingers crossed) somehow. i know how to stay safe but i still have made opsec mistakes
so yeah idk, is it worth it being on dollsalon? is it worth it being on pedi? i feel good most of the time here, on pedi as a whole but especially on d.s, and i get to embrace parts of my identity that, truth to be told unfortunately many cannot outside of these spaces. i just think i expect of myself too much sometimes, but thats a burden i put on myself on my own.
so yeah whatever, that plus lots of misunderstandings recently online with people and generally the feeling that im not respected by some of them just made me feel bad ig, i kinda did need to introspect tho fr. its just i feel that online spaces are good environments to create discord and bad communication, not that good communication doesnt exist and isnt the majority, but its more than irl imo.

2026-08-24 00:27:18 UTC

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nothing really, it just triggers some random thoughts i think. thoughts that are not necessarily based on reality but do make me feel bad nonetheless. i dont want to be manipulated by my emotions tho so i just take some time to cool off usually lol. but i think its more like... the nature of social media in a way ykwim? you feel way more distant than you really are by text, while in person you have so much more data to base off your judgement.
anyway sorry to reply every few hours lol i got distracted, trynna make my ai work on the new pc now while ignoring that i have to go sleep eventually

2026-08-23 19:20:09 UTC

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honestly? no idea. i just feel bad often when i open social media, pedi included, even if bad things didnt really happen. rn i feel better so hopefully it was just a passing mood? but ts comes back often sigh. maybe i just need to be online for less than an hr each day, thats probably it

2026-08-23 15:54:35 UTC

weeeh tempted to go offline again, convince me not to pls

2026-08-08 20:01:42 UTC

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well i WOULD post them but i plan on publishing them with our irl name to make money. so im fucked lol 🫠

2026-08-08 19:39:19 UTC

im writing such good music but i cant post it bcs opsec. sighhh

2026-08-04 23:18:57 UTC

genuine question, cuz i heard you @Aco talk abt this earlier today, but what is really stopping some of yall from doing illegal stuff you consider moral if you have good opsec? im curious, because personally if i had more faith in myself i would definitely act more risky at times (yes this is mainly about pedo stuff)

2026-08-02 21:46:43 UTC

bro i got a hickey how am i gonna hide it.