rich1.0dsbatten (npub13l…4lpsy)https://nostr.now/npub13lkyycj8s3da6fhndtj0wd6s3s2ahmq86s7wrruvzd4tnc66cgfqn4lpsynjumphttps://nostr.nowThe research is clear: the intention behind your goal matters more than you think. The surprise is where it lands - it has some bearing on whether you hit the goal, and a much stronger one on what happens next. Let's imagine two people set the same goal: lose 15 kilos. The goal could be anything, but weight loss is so measurable and visible that I'll use it as the example. One motivation is running away from something you don't like in yourself. "I'm lazy. I look terrible. I'm a disgrace." The other is running toward something that inspires you as a latent potential within you. "I want to be strong, and present for my kids in twenty years." In weight-loss trials, autonomous motivation - the "toward" kind - predicted the initial loss and, more tellingly, whether the goal stuck 2 years on. The controlling kind, the drive to fix a flaw, causes adherence to goal for a short time, but here's the kicker: maintenance of the goal once achieved was almost nil. (source: https://link.springer.com/article/10.1186/1479-5868-9-22). It goes deeper. Self-criticism can spark a short burst, then it gives you back shame, and shame produces avoidance (source: https://self-compassion.org/wp-content/uploads/publications/selfimp.motivation.pdf). And as an aside, when the goal is about appearance, even if you reach it, it tends not to make you feel better - the people who feel better are the ones whose intention was to do with health or connection (source: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0146167296223006 ). Even "be there for my family" can be pressure in disguise, if guilt sits underneath it. So don't trust the words of the goal. Instead, notice whether holding it feels like choice or coercion.