Nostr notes by The Wiert Corner - irregular stream of stuff

## The Prince of Persia as a hanging Lego ornament[Prince of ...

2024-12-26T17:00:31Z

##

The Prince of Persia as a hanging Lego ornament[Prince of Persia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prince_of_Persia ) took a big gap out of my high school time back in the mid 1980’s (:

So I am really glad with the recent revival which besides new material from the original author [[Wayback](https://web.archive.org/web/20230714044056/https://twitter.com/jmechner )/[Archive](https://archive.is/2024.10.31-154440/https://twitter.com/jmechner )] [Jordan Mechner (@jmechner) / X](https://twitter.com/jmechner ), also leads to interesting other posts including the [LEGO](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LEGO ) [ornament](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ornament ) (given the size likely from big [Duplo](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duplo ) bricks) on the right from:

> [> [> WaybackSave](https://web.archive.org/save/https://x.com/MikeJMika/status/528026446854234112 )> /> [> Archive](https://archive.is/2024.10.31-141524/https://x.com/MikeJMika/status/528026446854234112 )> ] > [> Mike Mika on X: “Pretty much the coolest Lego thing ever.”](https://x.com/MikeJMika/status/528026446854234112 )

> [> [> WaybackSave]( )> /> [> Archive]( )> ] > [> B1PtQSkCUAApXis.png (675×1200)]( )

> [> [> WaybackSave](https://web.archive.org/save/https://cdn.syndication.twimg.com/tweet-result?id=528026446854234112&token=! )> /> [> Archive](https://archive.is/2024.10.31-131659/https://cdn.syndication.twimg.com/tweet-result?id=528026446854234112&token=! )> ] > [> Tweet JSON](https://cdn.syndication.twimg.com/tweet-result?id=528026446854234112&token=! )

Merry X-mas!

NB: It’s not the original, but it’s hard to find as the original is at least 10 years old.

This is the oldest I could find was this 2014-10-30 one [[Wayback](https://web.archive.org/web/20141104170408/https://imgur.com/L3p7V4e )/[Archive](https://wiert.wordpress.com/wp-admin/press-this.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Farchive.is%2F2024.10.31-150505%2Fhttps%3A%2F%2Fimgur.com%2Flego-prince-of-persia-L3p7V4e&t=Lego+Prince+of+Persia+-+Imgur&s=&v=4 )] [Imgur: Lego Prince of Persia](https://imgur.com/L3p7V4e ) via [[Wayback](https://web.archive.org/web/20141222041003/http://www.reddit.com:80/r/gaming/comments/2krrs2/lego_prince_of_persia )/[Archive](https://archive.is/2024.10.31-151415/https://www.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/2krrs2/lego_prince_of_persia/ )] [Lego Prince of Persia : r/gaming](http://www.reddit.com:80/r/gaming/comments/2krrs2/lego_prince_of_persia ) which has a lot of nice little details on the game its development.

Oh: the skin colour isn’t exactly what’s in the Apple ][ character either, see the first picture below, but it’s close enough.--

jeroen

Prince of Persia in colour on Apple ][

Image from [[WaybackSave](https://web.archive.org/save/https://x.com/ilyamiskov/status/1850986719031804405 )/[Archive](https://archive.is/2024.10.29-131238/https://x.com/ilyamiskov/status/1850986719031804405 )] [Ilya Miskov on X: “Limitations and constraints encourage and enhance creativity. I think about this a lot when remembering how Prince of Persia for Apple II was originally made despite a lot of limitations of the hardware at the time, which was an impressive feat by its own. I remember the times”](https://x.com/ilyamiskov/status/1850986719031804405 )

> Limitations and constraints encourage and enhance creativity.

> I think about this a lot when remembering how Prince of Persia for Apple II was originally made despite a lot of limitations of the hardware at the time, which was an impressive feat by its own.

> I remember the times when Figma/Sketch/Framer/Spline/Rive were non-existent and we designers had to build stuff with whatever we’ve had at the time. In my case it was an early version of Adobe Photoshop, a built-in Windows text editor, Filezilla for uploading local files to a server and a website with an old version of WordPress with tons of HTML/CSS/PHP code that I’ve had only a general understanding of.

> I loved that time of my life. Everything was more difficult, yet somehow simple. I didn’t have the luxury of being open to thousands of design courses because there weren’t many at the time, if any. Heck, even Youtube was just starting out at the time, there were no design videos at all. But the lack of information only strengthened my curiosity and made me go get my feet wet and learn everything on my own.

> It was a time of pure imagination, no limits, and possibilities that sparked curiosity on a daily basis. The world was not yet prepared for the upcoming thing that was going to completely change the industry forever – the release of the iPhone. This single event has changed the world forever. It gave birth to entire markets. Apps in your pocket – how cool is that! They were powerful, and they were making tons of money. Now suddenly everyone needed developers who could build apps and designers who could design them. Entire companies came to exist just because of this one device changing the game.

> Design has never been the same since then. We are where we are now because of the set of events that spiraled because of the release of the iPhone. For better or worse, the world is moving forward, now even more new industries are being created, we see a huge rise in the AI space. We’re yet to see where it takes us, but design is as important and as popular as ever, and many young people are either considering or already taking a design path and consider it to be the work of their life and it’s awesome!

> Yet, I do miss those simpler times when things were a little more genuine. I think it’s important to remind ourselves where we came from and sometimes exposing ourselves to relics of the past to appreciate the long road we’ve already walked.

> [> [> WaybackSave](https://web.archive.org/save/https://cdn.syndication.twimg.com/tweet-result?id=1850986719031804405&token=! )> /> [> Archive](https://archive.is/2024.10.31-155439/https://cdn.syndication.twimg.com/tweet-result?id=1850986719031804405&token=! )> ] > [> Tweet JSON](https://cdn.syndication.twimg.com/tweet-result?id=1850986719031804405&token=! )

> [> [> WaybackSave]( )> /> [> Archive]( )> ] > [> Tweet Image]( )

Prince of Persia diskette for Apple ][

Image from:

> [> [> WaybackSave](https://web.archive.org/save/https://twitter.com/ronscompvids/status/1725618237121892467 )> /> [> Archive](https://archive.is/2024.10.31-155125/https://x.com/ronscompvids/status/1725618237121892467 )> ] > [> Ron’s Computer Videos 🧍‍♂️🖥️ 📼 on X: “Floppy Disk Friday! Prince of Persia (by @jmechner – published by Brøderbund) #appleii #broderbund #floppydiskfriday #vintagecomputing #vintagegaming #retrogaming”](https://x.com/ronscompvids/status/1725618237121892467 )

> [> [> WaybackSave](https://web.archive.org/save/https://cdn.syndication.twimg.com/tweet-result?id=1725618237121892467&token=! )> /> [> Archive](https://archive.is/2024.10.31-160355/https://cdn.syndication.twimg.com/tweet-result?id=1725618237121892467&token=! )> ] > [> Tweet JSON](https://cdn.syndication.twimg.com/tweet-result?id=1725618237121892467&token=! )

> [> [> WaybackSave]( )> /> [> Archive]( )> ] > [> Tweet Image]( )###

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#appleii #broderbund #floppydiskfriday #retrogaming #vintagecomputing #vintagegaming

## Figuring out which processes are preventing to eject/unmount ...

2022-03-31T05:00:18Z

##

Figuring out which processes are preventing to eject/unmount my MacOS Time Machine backup USB drive

One day, a MacOS Time Machine backup USB drive could not me ejected/unmount.

These links helped me figure out what was wrong via [[Wayback](https://web.archive.org/web/20210809091340if_/https://www.google.com/search?q=find+which+macos+program+prevents+unmount )] [find which macos program prevents unmount – Google Search](https://www.google.com/search?q=find+which+macos+program+prevents+unmount ):<li>[<a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20210507094641/https://apple.stackexchange.com/questions/104842/the-volume-cant-be-ejected-because-its-currently-in-use/104850#104850"; rel="noopener">Wayback</a>] <a href="https://apple.stackexchange.com/questions/104842/the-volume-cant-be-ejected-because-its-currently-in-use/104850#104850"; rel="noopener">macos – The volume can’t be ejected because it’s currently in use – Ask Different</a> (Thanks [<a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20210506124529/https://apple.stackexchange.com/users/55028/cousincocaine"; rel="noopener">Wayback</a>] <a href="https://apple.stackexchange.com/users/55028/cousincocaine">CousinCocaine</a>;, [<a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20170130083635/http://apple.stackexchange.com/users/6541/paul-gilfedder"; rel="noopener">Wayback</a>] <a href="https://apple.stackexchange.com/users/6541/paul-gilfedder"; rel="noopener">Paul Gilfedder</a> and [<a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20161224162318/http://apple.stackexchange.com/users/7828/alan-w-smith"; rel="noopener">Wayback</a>] <a href="https://apple.stackexchange.com/users/7828/alan-w-smith"; rel="noopener">Alan W. Smith</a>) <blockquote><h2>Q:</h2><ul><li>“The volume can’t be ejected because it’s currently in use.“</li><li>“The disk “Diskname” wasn’t ejected because one or more programs may be using it.“.</li><li>“<code>umount(/Volumes/Diskname): Resource busy -- try 'diskutil unmount'</code>“</li></ul>…My question: How do I know what program is using my drive so I can properly quit that program and eject my drive?<img src="https://web.archive.org/web/20210507094641im_/https://i.stack.imgur.com/q9vw3.png"; alt="The volume can't be ejected because it's currently in use."> <img src="https://web.archive.org/web/20210507094641im_/https://i.stack.imgur.com/VIeIz.png"; alt="The disk "Camel" wasn't ejected because one or more programs may be using it."> <img src="https://web.archive.org/web/20210507094641im_/https://i.stack.imgur.com/8OcTZ.png"; alt="The disk "Mammtoh" wasn't ejected because one or more programs..."> <img src="https://web.archive.org/web/20210507094641im_/https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/still_in_use.png"; alt="xkcd"><h1>A:</h1><code>lsof</code> is indeed your best bet. The fastest and easiest way would be this :-<pre><code>sudo lsof /Volumes/myDrive
</code></pre>It can take a couple minutes to run, but once it’s complete, it gives you a list of open files on the disk. The output will look something like this:<pre><code>COMMAND PID USER FD TYPE DEVICE SIZE/OFF NODE NAME
mds 89 root 19r DIR 52,3 432 2 /Volumes/Photos
mds 89 root 23r DIR 52,3 432 2 /Volumes/Photos
Finder 681 alans 14r DIR 52,3 432 2 /Volumes/Photos
QuickLook 2158 alans 9r REG 52,3 1141591 78651 /Volumes/Photos/_tmp_iphone_10_backup/APC_1546.JPG
</code></pre>In this case, it’s the <code>QuickLook</code> application that has a file open. Closing the application directly is the best way to fix the issue. However, that’s not always possible. For example, QuickLook doesn’t show up as an application you can get to in the Dock.If you can’t close the application manually, you can use the <code>kill</code> command to terminate it from the command line. To do that, use the <code>PID</code> from the second column as the ID to kill. From the above example, it would be:<pre><code>kill 2158
</code></pre>Note that sometimes that doesn’t work and a more aggressive form of <code>kill</code> must be used. Here’s a series of escalating aggressiveness (using the example PID of 2158):<pre><code>kill 2158
sudo kill 2158
sudo kill -INT 2158
sudo kill -KILL 2158
</code></pre>You should be able to eject the disk once the process/application has been killed.One final note, <code>lsof</code> can take a minute or two. It can also hang, but you should give it at least a few minutes before you decide that’s what happened.Also, sometimes the base command <code>sudo lsof /Volumes/myDrive</code> won’t find anything. If that happens, try adding the <code>+D</code> argument (i.e. <code>sudo lsof +D /Volumes/myDrive</code>). That will do a top down scan of the disk. It’ll take longer, but it should pick up anything that’s causing the disk to be un-ejectable.(Hat tip to <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20210507094641/http://www.alecjacobson.com/weblog/?p=649"; rel="noreferrer">Alec Jacobson’s post</a> for extra details.)<h1>C:</h1><code>sudo lsof /Volumes/drive</code> is much faster than <code>sudo lsof | grep /Volumes/drive</code></blockquote></li><li>[<a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20210506193111/http://www.alecjacobson.com/weblog/?p=649"; rel="noopener">Wayback</a>] <a href="http://www.alecjacobson.com/weblog/?p=649"; rel="noopener">Find out which application is using external hard drive in order to eject it « Alec’s Web Log</a> <blockquote><pre><code>sudo lsof +D "/Volumes/[name of drive]"</code></pre>…You can always run the <code>lsof</code> command again to see if the process really died.<pre><code>kill [PID of process]
sudo kill [PID of process]
sudo kill -INT [PID of process]
sudo kill -KILL [PID of process]</code></pre></blockquote></li><li>[<a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20210809093032/https://apple.stackexchange.com/questions/29580/how-do-i-make-spotlight-stop-indexing-my-backup-drive/211616#211616"; rel="noopener">Wayback</a>] <a href="https://apple.stackexchange.com/questions/29580/how-do-i-make-spotlight-stop-indexing-my-backup-drive/211616#211616"; rel="noopener">time machine – How do I make Spotlight stop indexing my Backup drive? – Ask Different</a> (thanks [<a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20201024035147/https://apple.stackexchange.com/users/39706/hectorpal"; rel="noopener">Wayback</a>] <a href="https://apple.stackexchange.com/users/39706/hectorpal"; rel="noopener">hectorpal</a>!) <blockquote>…I finally found you cannot disable Spotlight to index <code>Backups.backupdb</code>.[<a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20210809093032/https://support.apple.com/kb/PH21902"; rel="noopener">Wayback</a>] <a href="https://support.apple.com/kb/PH21902"; rel="nofollow">Apple Support. OS X El Capitan: Spotlight preferences</a><blockquote>If you add a Time Machine backup disk to the privacy list, you will continue to see messages that Spotlight is indexing your backup disk. This indexing is necessary for Time Machine to function properly and can’t be disabled. Spotlight does exclude from searches any items you store on your backup disk that are not part of a Time Machine backup.</blockquote>…</blockquote></li><li>[<a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20210809092640/https://support.apple.com/en-hk/guide/mac-help/mchlp1285/mac"; rel="noopener">Wayback</a>] <a href="https://support.apple.com/en-hk/guide/mac-help/mchlp1285/mac"; rel="noopener">If you can’t eject a disk from Mac – Apple Support</a> <blockquote><h2>If you can’t eject an external disk or storage device</h2><div><ol><li>On your Mac, choose Apple menu <img src="https://help.apple.com/assets/605932B4A1B7A93F492858E8/605932C0A1B7A93F492858FF/en_GB/2f77cc85238452e25cb517130188bf99.png"; alt="" width="16" height="20"> > Log Out, then log in again. Try to eject the disk again.</li><li>If you still can’t eject the disk, choose Apple menu <img src="https://help.apple.com/assets/605932B4A1B7A93F492858E8/605932C0A1B7A93F492858FF/en_GB/2f77cc85238452e25cb517130188bf99.png"; alt="" width="16" height="20"> > Shut Down. Disconnect the disk from your computer, then start up your computer again.</li></ol></div></blockquote></li>

This figured out which processes were involved:# sudo su -# lsof +D /Volumes/Samsumg860Evo4TB

The main processes keeping file handles in use on the SSD device where [mds and ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spotlight_(software)#macOS )mds_stores (similar as in [[Wayback](https://web.archive.org/web/20210809091438/https://mycyberuniverse.com/macos/how-fix-volume-cant-be-ejected-because-currently-use.html )] [How to fix: The volume can’t be ejected because it’s currently in use](https://mycyberuniverse.com/macos/how-fix-volume-cant-be-ejected-because-currently-use.html )). [Killing spotlight](https://wiert.me/2013/11/29/mac-restarting-the-mac-os-x-dock-finder-spaces-or-menubar-stefan-ernst/ ) did not help, and logoff failed as well: I had to shutdown the whole machine to be able to detach the USB drive.

So it was [Spotlight](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spotlight_(software) ) galore all over again, which is odd, as this is a USB3 SSD for which the Time Machine backup had tried to update for more than 12 hours, so Spotlight – if indexing at all – should have been long done.

> Spotlight galore:<li><a href="https://wiert.me/2021/03/15/macos-mds_stores-high-cpu-usage/"; rel="noopener">MacOS “mds_stores” high CPU usage</a></li><li><a href="https://wiert.me/2018/10/05/macos-os-x-mac-os-x-excessive-sysmond-or-mds-cpu-usage-via-ask-different-and-osxdaily/"; rel="noopener">macOS / OS X / Mac OS X: excessive sysmond or mds CPU usage – via Ask Different and osXdaily</a></li><li><a href="https://wiert.me/2021/04/19/spotlight-taking-200-cpu/"; rel="noopener">Spotlight taking 200% CPU</a></li>

The final solution was to perform a shutdown of the machine. It had not been for over 3 months, so apparently that caused some confusion for the combination of Spotlight and Time Machine.

–jeroen###

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## Having cancer is not a fight or a battle, it is about having ...

2021-12-10T11:00:45Z

##

Having cancer is not a fight or a battle, it is about having luck or misfortuneIt has been a while after my [last post about me having cancer](https://wiert.me/2020/08/23/current-state-still-fighting-the-metastases-of-the-rectum-cancer-chemos-are-done-major-liver-surgery-in-about-3-weeks/ ). No, I am not giving up. But I am having the regular fear of the upcoming checks: did the metastases return, or do I have the luck to outlive some 30% of my peer group.

The last metastases surgery has been slightly more than a year ago. A year from now, that percentage hopefully will be 50% and slowly increase over time until about 90% in some 9 years from now.

At year’s end, I will know for sure.

Below are some links on, mostly Dutch but with English abstract, articles about the mental side of having cancer, or having survived it for now.

Food for thought, somehow fitting for this time of the year.

Especially helpful are the articles by Ivan Wolffers, doctor, emeritus professor, writer (medical literature, fiction – the latter aimed at children and adults – and columns), some of them I found fitting:<li>[<a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20211203124630/https://www.meerovermedisch.nl/column/grootmeester-der-duistere-pijnen/"; target="_blank" rel="noopener">Wayback</a>/<a href="https://archive.md/2021.12.03-124633/https://www.meerovermedisch.nl/column/grootmeester-der-duistere-pijnen/"; target="_blank" rel="noopener">Archive</a>] <a href="https://www.meerovermedisch.nl/column/grootmeester-der-duistere-pijnen/"; target="_blank" rel="noopener">Meer over Medisch | Grootmeester der duistere pijnen</a> about fear that with the last treatment, you run out of luck.</li><li>[<a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20211203124203/https://www.meerovermedisch.nl/column/bakstenen/"; target="_blank" rel="noopener">Wayback</a>/<a href="https://archive.md/2021.12.03-124207/https://www.meerovermedisch.nl/column/bakstenen/"; target="_blank" rel="noopener">Archive</a>] <a href="https://www.meerovermedisch.nl/column/bakstenen/"; target="_blank" rel="noopener">Meer over Medisch | Bakstenen</a>, which for me is about finding closure with the past.</li><li>[<a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20210811105649/https://www.meerovermedisch.nl/column/waar-was-mijn-geheugen/"; target="_blank" rel="noopener">Wayback</a>/<a href="https://archive.md/2021.12.03-124048/https://www.meerovermedisch.nl/column/waar-was-mijn-geheugen/"; target="_blank" rel="noopener">Archive</a>] <a href="https://www.meerovermedisch.nl/column/waar-was-mijn-geheugen/"; target="_blank" rel="noopener">Meer over Medisch | Waar was mijn geheugen?</a> about how chemotherapy can affect memory.</li><li>[<a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20211203123410/https://www.meerovermedisch.nl/column/de-sleutel-van-het-overleven/"; target="_blank" rel="noopener">Wayback</a>/<a href="https://archive.md/2021.12.03-123414/https://www.meerovermedisch.nl/column/de-sleutel-van-het-overleven/"; target="_blank" rel="noopener">Archive</a>] <a href="https://www.meerovermedisch.nl/column/de-sleutel-van-het-overleven/"; target="_blank" rel="noopener">Meer over Medisch | De sleutel van het overleven</a> about how learning to accept each stage in life, and deciding what to do when quality of life approaches zero.</li>

There is also his personal blog, of which the full list of 2021 articles is at [[Wayback](https://web.archive.org/web/20211203141431/https://www.ivanwolffers.nl/2021/ )/[Archive](https://archive.md/2021.12.03-141436/https://www.ivanwolffers.nl/2021/ )] [2021 – Ivan Wolffers](https://www.ivanwolffers.nl/2021/ ).

This is about my post title: [[Wayback](https://web.archive.org/web/20211015091918/https://www.npo3.nl/brandpuntplus/omgaan-met-kanker )/[Archive](https://archive.md/2021.12.03-145848/https://www.npo3.nl/brandpuntplus/omgaan-met-kanker )] [“Waarom doen we alsof kanker een strijd is met winnaars en verliezers?” – NPO3.nl](https://www.npo3.nl/brandpuntplus/omgaan-met-kanker ), which in depth explains both that cancer isn’t a battle with winners and losers, and that if people keep communicating it as a fight, that it has an adverse effect on the psychology of those patients, for instance some of them even opting out for treatment at all or undergoing treatment for too long making the final stage unbearable making it impossible to bring final closure in a reasonable manner. More examples in the article, of which the Google translated version is actually pretty good:

> [> [> Wayback](https://web.archive.org/web/20211203153847/https://www-npo3-nl.translate.goog/brandpuntplus/omgaan-met-kanker?_x_tr_sl=auto&_x_tr_tl=en )> /> [> Archive](https://archive.md/2021.12.03-153856/https://www.npo3.nl/brandpuntplus/omgaan-met-kanker )> ] > [> “Why do we pretend that cancer is a battle of winners and losers?” – NPO3.nl](https://www.npo3.nl/brandpuntplus/omgaan-met-kanker )> .

I got it via [[Archive](https://archive.md/2021.12.03-150103/https://twitter.com/jacquel_en/status/1451858301910724611 )] [Jacquel💉en on Twitter: “…” / Twitter](https://twitter.com/jacquel_en/status/1451858301910724611 ), which I retweeted as

> [> [> Archive](https://archive.md/2021.12.03-150005/https://twitter.com/jpluimers/status/1466744204667854853 )> ] > [> Jeroen Wiert Pluimers on Twitter: “Dit. Zo belangrijk. Je hebt mazzel, of pech. En bij elke controls is er stress en de vraag: hoeveel mazzel heb ik deze keer?” / Twitter](https://twitter.com/jpluimers/status/1466744204667854853 )

> This. So important. You either are lucky, or have misfortune. And with every check there is the stress and question: how lucky am I this time?

I quote-tweeted it, resulting in this nice thread (Twitter Translate works quite well on it):<li>[<a href="https://archive.md/2021.12.03-150005/https://twitter.com/jpluimers/status/1466744204667854853"; target="_blank" rel="noopener">Archive</a>] <a href="https://twitter.com/jpluimers/status/1466744204667854853"; target="_blank" rel="noopener">Jeroen Wiert Pluimers on Twitter: “Dit. Zo belangrijk. Je hebt mazzel, of pech. En bij elke controls is er stress en de vraag: hoeveel mazzel heb ik deze keer?” / Twitter</a></li><li>[<a href="https://archive.md/2021.12.11-095203/https://twitter.com/jacquel_en/status/1466744706797391882"; target="_blank" rel="noopener">Archive</a>] <a href="https://twitter.com/jacquel_en/status/1466744706797391882"; target="_blank" rel="noopener">Jacquel💉en on Twitter: “@jpluimers Inderdaad zo simpel is het gewoon. Dan hopen datje controle op afgesproken moment mag en niet zoals bij mij later….. (snap de oorzaak goed, gevoel is niet fijn)” / Twitter</a></li><li>[<a href="https://archive.md/2021.12.10-214643/https://twitter.com/jpluimers/status/1466752338866094080"; target="_blank" rel="noopener">Archive</a>] <a href="https://twitter.com/jpluimers/status/1466752338866094080"; target="_blank" rel="noopener">Jeroen Wiert Pluimers on Twitter: “@jacquel_en Hier stinkende mazzel dat ik bij @hetAVL zit en er 10 minuten vandaan woon. Daar merk je ook gevolgen van het corona-virus, maar minder sterk als in veel andere ziekenhuizen. Dit jaar is het effect er voor mijn gevoel wel sterker dan vorig jaar. Op een goede uitslag voor je!” / Twitter</a></li>

The luck I had was in part due to the [Covid-19 pandemic](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/COVID-19_pandemic ). Because of it age based cancer screening (mainly breast and colon cancer) had been scaled down, which – for hospitals that only do cancer – made it very easy to plan all the procedures.

The misfortunes I had were manyfold. Later I will blog about it in more detail, but in short it had to do with getting on the wait-and-see list, developing metastases that were found at the first check, chemotherapy causing way too much neuropathy and other effects, combined surgery on metastases removal and ileostomy repair causing a colon leak, emergency surgery, abscess and inflammation development after the surgeries and prolapses of both the ileostomies I had. Plus a very long recuperation of all procedures: it is still going on.###

MemoryFor me the combination of chemotherapy with radiation therapy, four major surgeries and lots of family issues going on within a year severely affected my memory. It steadily is coming back, especially tech stuff is doing very much OK now. Day to day things will likely never be at the height they were before, but that’s OK: there are good tools for that (in the past I could largely do without an agenda, now I finally got adjusted to using one).###

LAR syndromeMy [LAR syndrome](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lower_anterior_resection#Low_anterior_resection_syndrome ) effects are tough and take a lot of time. Going to the toilet I often do not know what will come and for how long. This is due to both surgery in the pelvis minor area will always do nerve damage, and almost all of my rectum being gone.

It means that on average I spend about 2 hours per day on the toilet, of which one hour during the night causing me to have a gap of about 90 minutes between the blocks of sleep. On bad days, it means spending 4-5 hours on the toilet.

Oh, and I wear diapers as about once every two weeks even rushing to the toilet does not help and without them it would make a bigger mess.###

FearThere is always the (sometimes latent) fear of the metastases returning. Every pain and every odd feeling still make me think “is this cancer again?”. It reminds me of the first 5+ years after my wife had cancer. Hopefully it will fade and I will make those 5+ years.

When writing this, I’ll be having checkups in 2 weeks time. Slightly more than a year after the surgery that removed the metastases, I have about a 50% chance of them returning within a year from now and 90% of them returning in 9 years from now.

Then hopefully treatment procedures have improved, but for now it would mean the same chemotherapy, but heavier and longer. Which would also mean learning to cope with permanent neuropathy.###

PositiveI do have enough quality of life, and my wife has survived her cancer for 21 years now. I hope to be at the good side of statistics and still be here at least a few more years in OK health. Health won’t return to the levels it was, but my mind gets better over time, so I hope to be able to work again at least part-time and be able to setup enough support so my mentally retarded brother can cope without relying on me.

That is enough to keep me going for the foreseeable future.

It’s a bit like [Steve talks about](https://archive.md/X0qd3 ) in the video below[.](https://web.archive.org/web/20211105035311/https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lR6-elnwBmM )###

ReferencesI would have liked to follow up on [Current state: still fighting the metastases of the rectum cancer; chemos are done, major liver surgery in about 3 weeks](https://wiert.me/2020/08/23/current-state-still-fighting-the-metastases-of-the-rectum-cancer-chemos-are-done-major-liver-surgery-in-about-3-weeks/ ), but then events caught up with me, so I made the choice to have the blog run just auto-posting stuff from the (then almost) 2 year queue.

This is part of my series on [cancer related posts](https://wiert.me/category/about/personal/cancer/ ), of which the [rectum cancer posts](https://wiert.me/category/about/personal/cancer/rectum-cancer/ ) are a subset.

–jeroen###

PS20230827:

This is an excellent article on the battles that cancer patients to fight: [[Wayback](https://web.archive.org/web/20230827184218/https://www.linda.nl/column/column-sander-de-hosson-strijd-kankerpatienten/ )/[Archive](https://archive.ph/2023.08.27-184525/https://www.linda.nl/column/column-sander-de-hosson-strijd-kankerpatienten/ )] [‘De strijd van kankerpatiënten, is van een totaal andere orde dan men denkt’ – LINDA.nl](https://www.linda.nl/column/column-sander-de-hosson-strijd-kankerpatienten/ )

Think about:<li>coping with the side effects of the various therapies</li><li>weighing quality of life against lifespan</li><li>learning to live with fear, depression and hope</li>###

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