Nostr notes by The Needling

Fremont Troll Updates Nazi Car Brand He’s Crushing in Fist from ...

2026-10-28T05:53:56Z

Fremont Troll Updates Nazi Car Brand He’s Crushing in Fist from Volkswagen to Tesla: https://theneedling.com/2026/09/21/fremont-troll-updates-nazi-car-brand-hes-crushing-in-fist-from-volkswagen-to-tesla/

After decades of scaring people into thinking a haunted, evil ...

2026-10-27T20:56:52Z

After decades of scaring people into thinking a haunted, evil villain’s headquarters plucked straight out of Gotham City was perched up on Beacon Hill, the PacMed Building revealed today that she’s actually just a nice piece of architecture who has resting Tower-of-Terror face.

If you live in Seattle's District 5, have you given your $100 ...

2026-10-27T19:05:04Z

If you live in Seattle's District 5, have you given your $100 in Democracy Vouchers to Nilu Jenks or are you saving up for one big democracy? https://www.neighborsfornilu.org/vouchers

quoting
nevent1q…l3dj
Man Saving Democracy Vouchers to Buy One Big Democracy: https://theneedling.com/2026/09/19/man-saving-democracy-vouchers-to-buy-one-big-democracy/

PacMed Building Not Haunted, Just Has Resting Tower-of-Terror ...

2026-10-27T05:21:32Z

PacMed Building Not Haunted, Just Has Resting Tower-of-Terror Face: https://theneedling.com/2026/09/20/pacmed-building-reveals-it-just-has-resting-tower-of-terror-face/

Asked why he still hadn’t yet spent his $100 in democracy ...

2026-10-27T04:35:58Z

Asked why he still hadn’t yet spent his $100 in democracy vouchers for a progressive Seattle City Council candidate like Nilu Jenks, District 5 resident Mike Reynolds says he’s saving all of his to buy one big democracy.

Man Saving Democracy Vouchers to Buy One Big Democracy: ...

2026-10-27T03:27:08Z

Man Saving Democracy Vouchers to Buy One Big Democracy: https://theneedling.com/2026/09/19/man-saving-democracy-vouchers-to-buy-one-big-democracy/

“I can hardly bear to break the news to my Aston Martin that I ...

2026-10-23T21:04:24Z

“I can hardly bear to break the news to my Aston Martin that I won’t have enough money for it to snowbird at a car condo in Florida because some selfish children want to go to good public schools."

Millionaires Tax Means Local Magnate Can Only Afford One of ...

2026-10-23T05:33:30Z

Millionaires Tax Means Local Magnate Can Only Afford One of Seattle’s New Waterfront Car Condos: https://theneedling.com/2026/10/22/millionaires-tax-means-local-magnate-can-only-afford-one-of-seattles-new-waterfront-car-condos/

“With the Trump administration’s expected tampering in ...

2026-10-21T19:15:17Z

“With the Trump administration’s expected tampering in mid-term elections nationwide, it’s more important than ever to vote as early as you can, then immediately hide in the corny labyrinthine bowels of your closest rural farm until it’s all over."

Americans Urged to Vote Early, Hide Deep in Corn Maze Until ...

2026-10-21T06:12:32Z

Americans Urged to Vote Early, Hide Deep in Corn Maze Until It’s All Over: https://theneedling.com/2026/10/20/americans-urged-to-vote-early-hide-deep-in-corn-maze-until-its-all-over/

“I was prepared to see all kinds of horrible voter suppression ...

2026-10-20T17:18:12Z

“I was prepared to see all kinds of horrible voter suppression tactics happen in other parts of the country, but I never thought that our own King County Elections would stoop so low as to deprive our local electorate of stickers.”

King County Elections Accused of Voter Suppression After Not ...

2026-10-20T05:17:01Z

King County Elections Accused of Voter Suppression After Not Mailing Ballots with ‘I Voted’ Stickers: https://theneedling.com/2026/10/19/king-county-elections-accused-of-voter-suppression-after-not-mailing-ballots-with-i-voted-stickers/

Blood-soaked Mansion with Loose Murderer Inside Still Going for ...

2026-10-17T05:12:33Z

Blood-soaked Mansion with Loose Murderer Inside Still Going for $900k on Zillow: https://theneedling.com/2026/09/18/blood-soaked-mansion-with-loose-murderer-inside-still-going-for-900k-on-zillow/

“Every time I ask Mayor Wilson what she’s going to do about ...

2026-10-16T18:37:51Z

“Every time I ask Mayor Wilson what she’s going to do about spider season, she’s all ‘I’m caught in the spider webs, so leave a message and I’ll call you back’—but I say we need answers and a plan now!”

Seattle Mayor Katie Wilson Criticized for Having No Plan to ...

2026-10-16T01:57:05Z

Seattle Mayor Katie Wilson Criticized for Having No Plan to Combat Spider Season: https://theneedling.com/2026/10/15/seattle-mayor-katie-wilson-criticized-for-having-no-plan-to-combat-spider-season/

The national order comes two years after the delusional state ...

2026-10-14T21:05:28Z

The national order comes two years after the delusional state started calling itself the "Pizza Capital of the United States."

Beth’s Cafe Celebrates 10,000th Heart Attack: ...

2026-10-14T05:21:41Z

Beth’s Cafe Celebrates 10,000th Heart Attack: https://theneedling.com/2026/09/16/beths-cafe-celebrates-10000th-heart-attack/

Connecticut Ordered to Stop Calling That Pizza: ...

2026-10-14T04:53:06Z

Connecticut Ordered to Stop Calling That Pizza: https://theneedling.com/2026/09/15/connecticut-ordered-to-stop-calling-that-pizza/

In yet another brilliant jab at Canada, today President Donald ...

2026-10-13T05:07:28Z

In yet another brilliant jab at Canada, today President Donald Trump stuck it to Vancouver by changing Mount Rainier’s name back to its original name of Tacoma.

Trump Sticks It to Vancouver, Changes Mount Rainier’s Name Back ...

2026-10-13T03:50:14Z

Trump Sticks It to Vancouver, Changes Mount Rainier’s Name Back to Tacoma: https://theneedling.com/2026/10/12/trump-sticks-it-to-vancouver-changes-mount-rainiers-name-back-to-tacoma/

“He just stands out there sometimes, watching that tree sway in ...

2026-10-11T18:05:44Z

“He just stands out there sometimes, watching that tree sway in the wind while mindlessly playing with his rake. It seems harmless, but something about it just doesn’t seem right."

Area Dad Gets Off on Huge Blonde Birch Taking Big Leafy Dump on ...

2026-10-11T05:14:41Z

Area Dad Gets Off on Huge Blonde Birch Taking Big Leafy Dump on Lawn: https://theneedling.com/2026/09/09/area-dad-gets-off-on-huge-blonde-birch-taking-big-leafy-dump-on-lawn/

During the show’s intervention, the billionaire swore he ...

2026-10-10T20:40:15Z

During the show’s intervention, the billionaire swore he doesn’t have a problem because he’s promised to give all the money away once he’s dead.

Hoarders TV Show Finds Disgusting Man in Medina Hoarding Billions ...

2026-10-10T05:25:15Z

Hoarders TV Show Finds Disgusting Man in Medina Hoarding Billions of Dollars: https://theneedling.com/2026/10/09/hoarders-tv-show-finds-disgusting-man-in-medina-hoarding-billions-of-dollars/

"Everybody knows biological males have an advantage when it ...

2026-10-09T21:25:23Z

"Everybody knows biological males have an advantage when it comes to deckbuilding and being lonely enough to be good at this game.”

Ballot Measure I-638 to Require Gender Verification for Playing ...

2026-10-09T05:00:00Z

Ballot Measure I-638 to Require Gender Verification for Playing Magic: The Gathering: https://theneedling.com/2026/10/08/ballot-measure-i-638-to-require-gender-verification-for-playing-magic-the-gathering/

While there's no indication Gov. Ferguson will increase the ...

2026-10-07T22:34:34Z

While there's no indication Gov. Ferguson will increase the engineers’ salaries beyond their promised extra fish, at press time he was reportedly researching whether the ferries already do that steel door locking thing the Titanic did to below-deck engineers as it was sinking.

quoting
nevent1q…ufm4
‘We Value Washington State Ferries Engineers,’ Says Gov. Ferguson Throwing Below-Deck Staff Extra Fish: https://theneedling.com/2026/10/07/we-value-washington-state-ferries-engineers-says-gov-ferguson-throwing-below-deck-staff-extra-fish/

‘We Value Washington State Ferries Engineers,’ Says Gov. ...

2026-10-07T21:26:07Z

‘We Value Washington State Ferries Engineers,’ Says Gov. Ferguson Throwing Below-Deck Staff Extra Fish: https://theneedling.com/2026/10/07/we-value-washington-state-ferries-engineers-says-gov-ferguson-throwing-below-deck-staff-extra-fish/

2 spots left!

2026-10-05T15:22:21Z

2 spots left!

Crowds of pedestrian shoppers watched in awe this week as ...

2026-10-05T00:41:41Z

Crowds of pedestrian shoppers watched in awe this week as cars—after more than a year away—somehow found their way back to Pike Place to spawn.

Cars Return to Spawn at Pike Place: ...

2026-10-03T04:37:41Z

Cars Return to Spawn at Pike Place: https://theneedling.com/2026/10/02/cars-return-to-spawn-at-pike-place/

As bears reach their most active foraging season to prepare for ...

2026-10-01T21:44:16Z

As bears reach their most active foraging season to prepare for winter hibernation, park rangers are advising hikers this fall that the most effective way to ward off bears is by loudly announcing the current median price of a house in Seattle.

Want to be a real fake news reporter too? Learn how to find real ...

2026-10-01T19:18:05Z

Want to be a real fake news reporter too? Learn how to find real fake news scoops and write them up in a fun and collaborative way with real fake newsroom colleagues (and then maybe get some drinks after). https://theneedling.com/2024/10/30/the-needling-in-person-real-fake-newsroom-workshop/

Park Rangers Advise Hikers to Ward Off Bears by Loudly Announcing ...

2026-10-01T04:49:02Z

Park Rangers Advise Hikers to Ward Off Bears by Loudly Announcing Median Housing Prices: https://theneedling.com/2026/09/05/park-rangers-advise-hikers-to-ward-off-bears-by-loudly-announcing-median-housing-prices/

As Ballard excitedly waits to hear if Sound Transit might build ...

2026-09-30T19:06:36Z

As Ballard excitedly waits to hear if Sound Transit might build their light rail station as soon as 2092, the dense, walkable Seattle neighborhood magnanimously congratulated Jackson Park Golf Course on its new light rail station opening in Pinehurst Wednesday morning.

Ballard Congratulates Golf Course on Its New Light Rail Station: ...

2026-09-30T05:13:00Z

Ballard Congratulates Golf Course on Its New Light Rail Station: https://theneedling.com/2026/09/03/ballard-congratulates-seattle-golf-course-on-its-new-light-rail-station/

At press time, Hedges was attempting to head off any increasing ...

2026-09-29T05:27:42Z

At press time, Hedges was attempting to head off any increasing suspicions of ignorant male privilege by posting a picture of himself on his leather “intersectional sofa” wearing a Jill Stein t-shirt.

“If she wants to continue being the Starbucks mascot in the ...

2026-09-29T05:12:42Z

“If she wants to continue being the Starbucks mascot in the Volunteer State, she’s gonna have to volunteer showing her seajunk to someone who can confirm if and where she has a mochacloaca.”

Man Not Okay with White Silence Still Pretty Okay with Male ...

2026-09-29T04:22:21Z

Man Not Okay with White Silence Still Pretty Okay with Male Silence: https://theneedling.com/2026/09/02/man-not-okay-with-white-silence-still-pretty-okay-with-male-silence/

Tennessee Legislators Demand Genital Check of Starbucks Mermaid: ...

2026-09-29T03:44:17Z

Tennessee Legislators Demand Genital Check of Starbucks Mermaid: https://theneedling.com/2026/09/01/tennessee-legislators-demand-genital-check-of-starbucks-mermaid/

Today one dutiful, hardworking, and some say even life-saving ...

2026-09-26T04:03:34Z

Today one dutiful, hardworking, and some say even life-saving portable air conditioner was thanklessly shoved into a dark closet, never to see the light of day again for the next eight months.

Portable Air Conditioner Thanklessly Shoved into Dark Closet: ...

2026-09-25T22:54:50Z

Portable Air Conditioner Thanklessly Shoved into Dark Closet: https://theneedling.com/2026/08/30/portable-air-conditioner-thanklessly-shoved-into-dark-closet/

Citing positive feedback and increased foot traffic that grew day ...

2026-09-25T15:56:55Z

Citing positive feedback and increased foot traffic that grew day after day for a year and a half, next week the car-free Pike Place Market pilot program will come to an end on Oct. 1 after it was deemed too successful to continue.

Car-Free Pike Place Market Pilot Deemed Too Successful to ...

2026-09-25T05:19:23Z

Car-Free Pike Place Market Pilot Deemed Too Successful to Continue: https://theneedling.com/2026/08/28/car-free-pike-place-market-pilot-deemed-too-successful-to-continue/

After months of doing his best to pretend he’s ever given a ...

2026-09-23T17:49:35Z

After months of doing his best to pretend he’s ever given a single actual shit about women’s sports, today local transphobe and Washington Sex Verification Requirements for Female School Sports Initiative supporter Rick Petty admitted he doesn’t know how much longer he can keep this up.

Local Transphobe Not Sure How Much Longer He Can Pretend to Care ...

2026-09-23T05:03:06Z

Local Transphobe Not Sure How Much Longer He Can Pretend to Care About Women’s Sports: https://theneedling.com/2026/09/22/local-transphobe-not-sure-how-much-longer-he-can-pretend-to-care-about-womens-sports/

“Is it going to suck losing so much money when this AI bubble ...

2026-09-22T14:04:16Z

“Is it going to suck losing so much money when this AI bubble pops that I have to actually finally move to Idaho or Texas like I’ve been threatening to for years without really meaning it? Yes, but it’s a small price to pay for the way I’m eventually going to be able to play victim of Washington’s future Millionaires Tax.”

Local Millionaire Investing in AI Can’t Wait to Blame Future ...

2026-09-22T05:54:29Z

Local Millionaire Investing in AI Can’t Wait to Blame Future Bankruptcy on Millionaires Tax: https://theneedling.com/2026/08/27/local-millionaire-investing-in-ai-cant-wait-to-blame-future-bankruptcy-on-millionaires-tax/

‘That Actually Happened in Unincorporated King County,’ ...

2026-09-16T04:55:26Z

‘That Actually Happened in Unincorporated King County,’ Reports Guy from Enumclaw: https://theneedling.com/2026/08/11/that-actually-happened-in-unincorporated-king-county-reports-guy-from-enumclaw/

Home Gardening Virtuoso Successfully Turns $800 into a Side ...

2026-09-12T04:34:09Z

Home Gardening Virtuoso Successfully Turns $800 into a Side Salad: https://theneedling.com/2026/08/04/home-gardening-virtuoso-successfully-turns-800-into-a-side-salad/

Business leaders across the city came together today to accuse ...

2026-09-11T21:08:25Z

Business leaders across the city came together today to accuse Seattle Mayor Katie Wilson of being a witch after somehow making both a bus route and car traffic on one of the city’s busiest streets faster at the same time.

Mayor Wilson Accused of Being Witch After Making Both Route 8 Bus ...

2026-09-11T05:05:50Z

Mayor Wilson Accused of Being Witch After Making Both Route 8 Bus and Denny Car Traffic Faster: https://theneedling.com/2026/09/10/mayor-wilson-accused-of-being-witch-after-making-both-route-8-bus-and-denny-car-traffic-faster/

Google Maps Shrugs, Renames Lake Union to Lake Confederacy: ...

2026-09-09T04:57:12Z

Google Maps Shrugs, Renames Lake Union to Lake Confederacy: https://theneedling.com/2026/09/08/google-maps-shrugs-renames-lake-union-to-lake-confederacy/

Seattle Crowd Walks Out of Bumbershoot After Investigation Finds ...

2026-09-06T02:07:30Z

Seattle Crowd Walks Out of Bumbershoot After Investigation Finds Festival Named After Umbrella: https://theneedling.com/2026/09/05/seattle-crowd-walks-out-of-bumbershoot-after-investigation-finds-music-festival-named-after-umbrella/

“Bumbershoot takes up too much space at Seattle Center—it’s ...

2026-09-05T19:09:31Z

“Bumbershoot takes up too much space at Seattle Center—it’s just rude. We wanted a festival with a smaller, more polite footprint because we just don’t think it makes sense to hit people over the head with a big festival that covers too much ground.”

Bumbershoot Threatened By Smaller, Upstart Festival ‘Rain ...

2026-09-05T17:59:30Z

Bumbershoot Threatened By Smaller, Upstart Festival ‘Rain Jacket’: https://theneedling.com/2026/09/05/bumbershoot-threatened-by-smaller-upstart-festival-rain-jacket/

New PNW Edition Prius Includes Extra Mirrors to Watch Drivers ...

2026-08-29T17:32:06Z

New PNW Edition Prius Includes Extra Mirrors to Watch Drivers Behind Them Go Nuts: https://theneedling.com/2026/08/29/new-pnw-edition-prius-includes-extra-mirrors-to-watch-drivers-behind-them-go-nuts/

Shit: Time Warp Back to When Dolly, Tim Curry and U.S. ...

2026-08-27T06:19:56Z

Shit: Time Warp Back to When Dolly, Tim Curry and U.S. Constitution Were Alive Not Working: http://theneedling.com/2026/08/26/shit-time-warp-back-to-when-dolly-tim-curry-and-u-s-constitution-were-alive-not-working/

“I have to go to all the home games against the Rangers and the ...

2026-08-25T00:56:54Z

“I have to go to all the home games against the Rangers and the Astros? No, no, no, this can’t be happening! There has to be some way out of this,” said a man panicking at his tickets. "I’m gonna see if there’s any way for my fines to at least be reduced to just one or two games against the Angels.”

Traffic Cops Now Issuing Mariners Tickets to Improperly Parked ...

2026-08-24T23:48:46Z

Traffic Cops Now Issuing Mariners Tickets to Improperly Parked Cars: https://theneedling.com/2026/08/24/traffic-cops-now-issuing-mariners-tickets-to-improperly-parked-cars/

Editorial note: Author could not finish piece due to a severe ...

2026-08-20T20:46:44Z

Editorial note: Author could not finish piece due to a severe headache. We would finish it but we have no idea what they were talking about.

Netflix Releases New Documentary About Whistleblowers Who Worked ...

2026-08-20T19:42:30Z

Netflix Releases New Documentary About Whistleblowers Who Worked at Boeafsjkfdsjjajkffdsjfdhfhjjklklllllllllllll: https://theneedling.com/2026/08/20/netflix-releases-new-documentary-about-whistleblowers-who-worked-at-boeafsjkfdsjjajkffdsjfdhfhjjklklllllllllllll/

“Brewers starting quarterback Bryce Miller just kept throwing ...

2026-08-19T16:24:40Z

“Brewers starting quarterback Bryce Miller just kept throwing one perfect pass after another to every one of the team’s receivers – the connection to Christian Yelich was especially beautiful,” said ESPN Tueday Night Football commentator Joe Buck.

Mariners Kick Off Football Season with 0-22 Shutout Loss Against ...

2026-08-19T06:47:52Z

Mariners Kick Off Football Season with 0-22 Shutout Loss Against the Brewers: https://theneedling.com/2026/08/18/mariners-kick-off-football-season-with-0-22-shutout-loss-against-the-brewers/

"I usually blast through an exit lane or shoulder on 405 to ...

2026-08-18T04:14:44Z

"I usually blast through an exit lane or shoulder on 405 to cut traffic and get to my Bravern condo. So glad I no longer have to swerve erratically between lanes in a desperate attempt to rush home and get back to complaining about my male loneliness crisis online."

WSDOT Opens Single Occupancy Lanes for Dangerously Lonely ...

2026-08-18T02:32:46Z

WSDOT Opens Single Occupancy Lanes for Dangerously Lonely Cybertruck Drivers: https://theneedling.com/2026/07/17/wsdot-opens-single-occupancy-lanes-for-lonely-cybertruck-drivers/

“We were afraid no one was coming to save our souls and thought ...

2026-08-16T18:10:21Z

“We were afraid no one was coming to save our souls and thought the torture may never end,” said vomit-covered boater Sam Nichols. “I don’t know how we would have ever gotten out of there if it hadn’t been for that giant cruise ship that finally blocked the view.”

Zuckerberg Superyacht Ignores Distress Call from Boat That Saw ...

2026-08-15T05:10:56Z

Zuckerberg Superyacht Ignores Distress Call from Boat That Saw Naked, Sunblock-Slathered Zuckerberg: https://theneedling.com/2026/08/14/zuckerberg-superyacht-ignores-distress-call-from-boat-that-saw-naked-sunblock-slathered-zuckerberg/

Lime has officially abandoned its ill-fated e-unicycle sharing ...

2026-08-13T16:44:09Z

Lime has officially abandoned its ill-fated e-unicycle sharing pilot program in Seattle and will not be expanding to other cities, citing “more broken skulls and nutsacks than Harborview’s ever seen.”

Lime Abandons Disastrous E-Unicycle Sharing Program: ...

2026-08-13T05:09:05Z

Lime Abandons Disastrous E-Unicycle Sharing Program: https://theneedling.com/2026/08/12/lime-abandons-disastrous-e-unicycle-sharing-program/

“You think the light rail went off the rails earlier this ...

2026-08-11T00:16:50Z

“You think the light rail went off the rails earlier this month? You think there aren’t enough on-time trains or functioning station escalators now? You haven’t seen anything yet—I mean, unless you’ve ever stood on the wrong side of an escalator in D.C., then you probably get the idea.”

Sound Transit Threatens to Unleash Dark Rail If Riders Keep ...

2026-08-10T23:11:43Z

Sound Transit Threatens to Unleash Dark Rail If Riders Keep Ignoring Posted Warnings: https://theneedling.com/2026/08/10/sound-transit-threatens-to-unleash-dark-rail-if-riders-keep-ignoring-posted-warnings/

“So, if you've been procrastinating on doing it, please do ...

2026-08-08T17:09:37Z

“So, if you've been procrastinating on doing it, please do enjoy that last Mariners Jimothy night with your Jimothy gear speculating on the backstory between him and T-Mobile Park’s Dumpster Danothy by tonight because after today doing so will no longer be permitted."

Nation Reminded This Is Last Day You Can Talk About Jimothy: ...

2026-08-08T03:03:42Z

Nation Reminded This Is Last Day You Can Talk About Jimothy: https://theneedling.com/2026/07/07/nation-reminded-this-is-last-day-you-can-talk-about-jimothy/

Days after Seafair ended, some asshole is still setting off Blue ...

2026-08-07T06:35:14Z

Days after Seafair ended, some asshole is still setting off Blue Angels over the neighborhood.

Some Asshole Still Setting Off Blue Angels: ...

2026-08-07T05:31:52Z

Some Asshole Still Setting Off Blue Angels: https://theneedling.com/2026/07/06/some-asshole-still-setting-off-blue-angels/

Can't make it to the in-person workshop? The Needling also ...

2026-08-06T22:25:47Z

Can't make it to the in-person workshop? The Needling also has an online workshop starting Aug. 12: https://theneedling.com/2024/08/01/the-needlings-online-real-fake-newsroom-workshop/

Want to be a real fake news reporter too? Learn how to find real ...

2026-08-06T21:25:10Z

Want to be a real fake news reporter too? Learn how to find real fake news scoops and write them up in a fun and collaborative way with real fake newsroom colleagues (And then maybe get some drinks/best fries in the city). Join us! https://theneedling.com/2024/10/30/the-needling-in-person-real-fake-newsroom-workshop/

Although she totally believes global warming is an immediate ...

2026-08-06T20:41:20Z

Although she totally believes global warming is an immediate existential threat to many, local woman Sherry Hayes said she thinks forests could protest climate change a little more peacefully by not being so incinerated all the time.

Local Woman Just Thinks Flaming Forest Could Find More Peaceful ...

2026-08-06T04:17:37Z

Local Woman Just Thinks Flaming Forest Could Find More Peaceful Way to Protest Climate Change: https://theneedling.com/2026/07/02/local-woman-just-thinks-flaming-forest-could-find-more-peaceful-way-to-protest-climate-change/

Experts Find Smoking Filtered Cigarettes Reduces Risk of ...

2026-08-06T04:04:51Z

Experts Find Smoking Filtered Cigarettes Reduces Risk of Breathing Seattle’s Air: https://theneedling.com/2026/07/01/experts-find-smoking-filtered-cigarettes-reduces-risk-of-breathing-seattles-air/

“Why do you think we have to fly people in from 2,000 miles ...

2026-08-04T21:48:34Z

“Why do you think we have to fly people in from 2,000 miles away to be police chief? SPD officers are obviously total dipshits—gah, get a freaking clue, Katie,” said Councilmember Bob Kettle.

Inexperienced Seattle Mayor Apologizes for Naively Assuming ...

2026-08-04T03:44:04Z

Inexperienced Seattle Mayor Apologizes for Naively Assuming Police Knew How to Do Their Job: https://theneedling.com/2026/08/03/inexperienced-seattle-mayor-apologizes-for-naively-assuming-police-knew-how-to-do-their-job/

Today Mayor Katie Wilson announced she’s already fired ...

2026-07-31T18:02:51Z

Today Mayor Katie Wilson announced she’s already fired Seattle’s next police chief after he somehow teargassed Capitol Hill, deleted public records, hired someone to have an affair on the job with, and threatened to fight a reporter all before 9 a.m.

Next Seattle Police Chief Already Fired: ...

2026-07-31T17:01:07Z

Next Seattle Police Chief Already Fired: https://theneedling.com/2026/06/20/next-seattle-police-chief-already-fired/

“Guys, the whole reason I took this job is to be here most of ...

2026-07-30T03:50:36Z

“Guys, the whole reason I took this job is to be here most of the year instead of anywhere near my wife and kids,” said Chief Shon Barnes at a press conference to clarify which city he actually resides in most.

Seattle Police Chief Assures City He Spends as Little Time with ...

2026-07-30T02:48:50Z

Seattle Police Chief Assures City He Spends as Little Time with Wife, Kids in Chicago as Possible: https://theneedling.com/2026/07/29/seattle-police-chief-assures-city-he-spends-as-little-time-with-wife-kids-at-home-in-chicago-as-possible/

@nprofile…q8uv Extra context is available on Reddit and ...

2026-07-29T04:32:50Z

In reply to nevent1q…mpwy
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Two days after a tragic shooting that killed three people at ...

2026-07-29T00:32:52Z

Two days after a tragic shooting that killed three people at Seattle Center, Seattle Police Department officials say confusion and questions continue to swirl around what’s taking Mayor Katie Wilson so long to find the second shooting suspect.

SPD Wondering What’s Taking Mayor Katie Wilson So Long to Find ...

2026-07-28T23:20:09Z

SPD Wondering What’s Taking Mayor Katie Wilson So Long to Find Second Shooting Suspect: https://theneedling.com/2026/07/28/spd-wondering-whats-taking-mayor-katie-wilson-so-long-to-find-second-shooting-suspect/

‘Make Heaven Crowded’ Audience Vaporized by Erika Kirk’s ...

2026-07-25T06:11:51Z

‘Make Heaven Crowded’ Audience Vaporized by Erika Kirk’s Eyes Wondering Why They’re in Hell: https://theneedling.com/2026/07/24/make-heaven-crowded-audience-vaporized-by-erika-kirks-eyes-wondering-why-theyre-in-hell/

“It had a moveable chassis that allowed it to stand up on his ...

2026-07-25T02:15:14Z

“It had a moveable chassis that allowed it to stand up on his hind wheels and accelerate at a high rate of speed mostly on land to impress potential mates and better hunt small prey like Priuses. Perhaps the raptor found itself in the Gorge after a failed attempt to fly across it—we may never know."

Paleontologists Believe Early Ford Raptor Had Feathers: ...

2026-07-25T00:52:16Z

Paleontologists Believe Early Ford Raptor Had Feathers: https://theneedling.com/2026/06/17/paleontologists-believe-early-ford-raptor-had-feathers/

To Save Salmon, Congress Weighs Killing More Fisherman: ...

2026-07-24T18:39:01Z

To Save Salmon, Congress Weighs Killing More Fisherman: https://theneedling.com/2026/06/17/congress-weighs-killing-more-fisherman-to-save-salmon/

Although he had to sell his 3.1% minority stake in the 49ers in ...

2026-07-22T22:21:58Z

Although he had to sell his 3.1% minority stake in the 49ers in order to buy the Seahawks for a record $9.612 billion, today the Paul Allen Estate assured new Seahawks owner Vinod Khosla that he still gets to own San Francisco on game days.

New Seahawks Owner Assured He Still Gets to Own 49ers on Game ...

2026-07-22T04:36:25Z

New Seahawks Owner Assured He Still Gets to Own 49ers on Game Days: https://theneedling.com/2026/06/16/new-seahawks-owner-assured-he-still-gets-to-own-49ers-on-game-days/

Report: Wild Raccoon Would Love to Be Adopted By You, If You Just ...

2026-07-21T03:12:08Z

Report: Wild Raccoon Would Love to Be Adopted By You, If You Just Had the Courage To Make the First Move: https://theneedling.com/2024/03/27/report-feral-raccoon-would-love-to-be-adopted-by-you-if-you-just-had-the-courage-to-make-the-first-move/

After leaving pet food out on the porch overnight in hopes St. ...

2026-07-21T00:02:23Z

After leaving pet food out on the porch overnight in hopes St. Jimothy soon would be there, one Ballard family woke up this morning to find he not only came but left them presents.

“See right here he pops out of the mural into the third ...

2026-07-19T23:24:09Z

“See right here he pops out of the mural into the third dimension,” said local Ballard resident Ben Trammell. “I then saw a loving raccoon mother adopt him into her pack despite his clear deformities from having been painted by Ryan Henry Ward.”

“See right here he pops out of the mural into the third ...

2026-07-19T23:20:58Z

“See right here he pops out of the mural into the third dimension,” said local Ballard resident Ben Trammell, who initially thought nothing of the video when he initially took it on a walk. “I then saw a loving raccoon mother adopt him into her pack despite his clear deformities from having been painted by Ryan Henry Ward.”