Nostr notes by M❍n❍t❍ne❍fBill™

Nostr event nevent1qqsq7e5jydelmxne2ymvcmch7x2casptfxmmetvzppmakhygr2ase4qzyzqql3l0w8natw7wscpanhzmfqr3a7whhzzc6zwlm7hgdan859lu203wsne

2026-10-13T10:41:08Z

Back in the day, I worked hard so my coffee could have a purpose.

How many seconds in a year? Twelve. January 2nd ... February 2nd ...

2026-10-01T23:13:24Z

How many seconds in a year?

Twelve. January 2nd ... February 2nd ...

That's right. Cobwebs found in our home this month are ...

2026-10-01T12:38:08Z

That's right. Cobwebs found in our home this month are considered festive.

Nostr event nevent1qqs29mjur65vvx2xs7fcdl8gunzxz0h77g40t4nu4vxhwqjjy7glc9czyzqql3l0w8natw7wscpanhzmfqr3a7whhzzc6zwlm7hgdan859lu2teltfn

2026-10-01T10:17:08Z

My CB Radio obsession is over. Over.

Nostr event nevent1qqs9r0ew0d0nky729j75zga00cdlyt3jm053tgaz6as3kxt83f9956szyzqql3l0w8natw7wscpanhzmfqr3a7whhzzc6zwlm7hgdan859lu2tjcqlv

2026-09-25T10:30:35Z

Birthdays are nature's way of telling us to eat more cake.

Nostr event nevent1qqsy0u9encsp4wxz6fr6e9kqf5ggfl2fy0lywgk78dxwd5mhtfjl7eszyzqql3l0w8natw7wscpanhzmfqr3a7whhzzc6zwlm7hgdan859lu2zhmjam

2026-09-17T10:40:39Z

Do vampires ever sing "You Are My Sunshine?"

Misters Getz, Laurel, Kubrick and Lee were outStanding in their ...

2026-08-05T23:17:42Z

Misters Getz, Laurel, Kubrick and Lee were outStanding in their fields.

Nostr event nevent1qqsqghv5r0dq8ge7w5q7xn3j2ec4rqxs0vey72ft9l5tt6ktm3f7ylgzyzqql3l0w8natw7wscpanhzmfqr3a7whhzzc6zwlm7hgdan859lu2yh24ge

2026-08-04T10:18:06Z

Squeeze the day.

Gators and crocs live so long, do expect to see one later or in a ...

2026-07-06T23:38:15Z

Gators and crocs live so long, do expect to see one later or in a while.

Nostr event nevent1qqs2ulg5dh6l5hgyc6w0he0tawpjymtgn8tp9as7wf2mc0lmehc23ygzyzqql3l0w8natw7wscpanhzmfqr3a7whhzzc6zwlm7hgdan859lu26kx8d2

2026-06-30T10:56:55Z

Sold my theremin. Hadn't touched it in years.

Whoever coined “Out of sight, out of mind” never saw a spider ...

2026-06-14T10:33:48Z

Whoever coined “Out of sight, out of mind” never saw a spider sashay down behind a headboard.

I like to draw sci-fi characters on my wife. You should have seen ...

2026-06-12T10:35:25Z

I like to draw sci-fi characters on my wife. You should have seen the Luke on her face.

Nostr event nevent1qqsy9k6x25k7n6vgy8gx4l7mxe67s4pllvvs6ukegnk5s3pveanlu2szyzqql3l0w8natw7wscpanhzmfqr3a7whhzzc6zwlm7hgdan859lu25fj443

2026-06-07T10:51:07Z

A neutrino walks through a bar.

Man at clinic: “I can’t stop seeing life as a cartoon.” ...

2026-05-27T23:46:49Z

Man at clinic: “I can’t stop seeing life as a cartoon.”

Doctor: “You likely have a case of Updoc.”

Man: “What’s Updoc?”

Doctor: “This is more serious than I thought.”

Nostr event nevent1qqszmemrtlafykzkfvuw5958x7axxlhvazv87yqftzy4td897v2a26gzyzqql3l0w8natw7wscpanhzmfqr3a7whhzzc6zwlm7hgdan859lu2lawx83

2026-05-24T09:59:46Z

Why don’t meteorologists ever say it will be partly moony?

Nostr event nevent1qqs29ew9nz67rvnw59lzlhkh5g67hualvc9xez4d9zw4zlx4uwj8n5qzyzqql3l0w8natw7wscpanhzmfqr3a7whhzzc6zwlm7hgdan859lu2duajnj

2026-05-18T20:29:07Z

A man named Brittin now heads the BBC.

Nostr event nevent1qqswp65dw0h2vudz288s378kchccjlhs4qytphwc2fm2l4qqz4rpq0qzyzqql3l0w8natw7wscpanhzmfqr3a7whhzzc6zwlm7hgdan859lu2dakree

2026-05-09T11:17:43Z

Will transparent coffins catch on? Remains to be seen.

Nostr event nevent1qqs8vt4p8vxtsncuf0qqlh6nhkg3e9kwy5rgq0uj5pp0j82uv2g07rgzyzqql3l0w8natw7wscpanhzmfqr3a7whhzzc6zwlm7hgdan859lu2hugr0x

2026-05-06T10:36:00Z

At work meetings, minutes are kept and hours are lost.

Nostr event nevent1qqsdwwadxa332lnmjt48yru87mucpalvrgkgzr668upe9jrfzs7g3wczyzqql3l0w8natw7wscpanhzmfqr3a7whhzzc6zwlm7hgdan859lu2hslher

2026-05-05T10:20:49Z

You mocha me happy.

Nostr event nevent1qqs0qaxxytwd4vnp2xnrfccl6ttcrl0jrd0zwawtel7k4slkm545engzyzqql3l0w8natw7wscpanhzmfqr3a7whhzzc6zwlm7hgdan859lu270vp77

2026-05-04T10:30:01Z

How much memory does it take to store a joke? One gigglebyte.

“Hey—where’d you get those buckets of water?” “You know ...

2026-05-02T10:43:52Z

“Hey—where’d you get those buckets of water?”

“You know full well.”

It’s not our ability to love that makes us human—it’s our ...

2026-04-22T12:10:54Z

It’s not our ability to love that makes us human—it’s our ability to select all the pictures that include a bus.

When gazillionaires say they want to make the world a better ...

2026-04-18T23:07:13Z

When gazillionaires say they want to make the world a better place, they mean for them.

Nostr event nevent1qqs9y84nmcdtsqa5arfp9lfnt3decrtsuf49nddkrl2zhsczl2cmetszyzqql3l0w8natw7wscpanhzmfqr3a7whhzzc6zwlm7hgdan859lu2f3hkfj

2026-04-13T10:42:28Z

Cheese pun? I Camembert it anymore.

Man: “I would go to the ends of the earth for you.” Woman: ...

2026-03-13T10:44:30Z

Man: “I would go to the ends of the earth for you.”

Woman: “But would you be willing to stay there?”

Nostr event nevent1qqsw40g7rwanuuhwch9vze8mynufxu44av4yv2nlaxwjju5yk2pj8tszyzqql3l0w8natw7wscpanhzmfqr3a7whhzzc6zwlm7hgdan859lu2ceae7f

2026-03-09T10:23:30Z

But if I agree with you, we’ll both be wrong.

Nostr event nevent1qqsgepslpljdy2nkpsrd9n2kqxselh8xvrtvr3227jj9d045uc7de4qzyzqql3l0w8natw7wscpanhzmfqr3a7whhzzc6zwlm7hgdan859lu29wcv6z

2026-02-25T11:45:24Z

Set your mind at cheese.

“Why do recording studios have those things on the wall?” ...

2026-02-05T12:18:11Z

“Why do recording studios have those things on the wall?”

“It’s baffling.”

I like to learn something new every day. 84-year-olds have spent ...

2026-02-01T11:24:57Z

I like to learn something new every day.

84-year-olds have spent about 28 years sleeping.

(Ed. note: I bet researchers did not take ‘senior sleep’ into account).

I wonder if someone in the world this week is delivering a ...

2026-01-30T11:58:15Z

I wonder if someone in the world this week is delivering a Hannibal lecture.

Wouldn’t the Carnegies, Vanderbilts and Astors of the past be ...

2026-01-30T00:15:41Z

Wouldn’t the Carnegies, Vanderbilts and Astors of the past be impressed with Bezos, Ellison, Musk et al …

Getting a salary for being a subject of sleep research is my ...

2026-01-17T12:01:52Z

Getting a salary for being a subject of sleep research is my dream job.

Nostr event nevent1qqswxu83qwdqstuqznh7sx4v3nxjukxk9klh3vxaeesvj3g2unwxr5szyzqql3l0w8natw7wscpanhzmfqr3a7whhzzc6zwlm7hgdan859lu2nqd5sp

2026-01-01T00:21:15Z

May your resolution not go in one year and out the other.

(A favorite acronym among IT workers) PICNIC: Problem In Chair ...

2025-12-12T00:07:39Z

(A favorite acronym among IT workers)

PICNIC: Problem In Chair Not In Computer.

Good sign: Trespassers welcome. Pet food is getting too ...

2025-12-11T00:20:05Z

Good sign: Trespassers welcome. Pet food is getting too expensive.

Nostr event nevent1qqstuk2meaj0gnncx0pxs5wkker0n0vqrjmhjxt4ztv8sqghd933vtczyzqql3l0w8natw7wscpanhzmfqr3a7whhzzc6zwlm7hgdan859lu2zp8r5w

2025-11-21T15:34:35Z

Don't think even Kermit ever said, "Quiet, Piggy!"

Nostr event nevent1qqs0ctdn2anxex2xz8fp7509f2k53ptngex3zykj7zk9c5vgmkf36fgzyzqql3l0w8natw7wscpanhzmfqr3a7whhzzc6zwlm7hgdan859lu2mlvrtk

2025-11-14T11:52:17Z

Friday has to be the best F-word.

Nostr event nevent1qqsrqm0za80zpl0fy2tgat5vj9cydcptj9ltpqrnc0z5rmusp8vpgtgzyzqql3l0w8natw7wscpanhzmfqr3a7whhzzc6zwlm7hgdan859lu28qpvqt

2025-11-09T11:09:53Z

Due to circumstances beyond my control I am awake.

I’m awake. Please respect my privacy during this difficult ...

2025-10-30T10:45:24Z

I’m awake. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

A walk in the woods was relaxing. The fact I was dragging a body ...

2025-10-28T23:34:20Z

A walk in the woods was relaxing. The fact I was dragging a body in a tarp behind me is irrelevant.

Why try to keep up with the Joneses? Drag ‘em down to your ...

2025-10-13T10:38:34Z

Why try to keep up with the Joneses? Drag ‘em down to your level.

Didn’t mean to actually push all your buttons. I was looking ...

2025-10-11T10:44:14Z

Didn’t mean to actually push all your buttons. I was looking for mute.

(Life’s Three Stages) Wanting Stuff. Accumulating Stuff. ...

2025-09-30T22:46:55Z

(Life’s Three Stages)

Wanting Stuff.

Accumulating Stuff.

Getting Rid Of Stuff.

Happy 40th to MacGyver. Didn't send a gift? Grab some paper ...

2025-09-30T12:22:54Z

Happy 40th to MacGyver. Didn't send a gift? Grab some paper clips and Wrigley's and put something together.

Cassettes had side-A and side-B, so it's only logical that ...

2025-09-30T10:53:35Z

Cassettes had side-A and side-B, so it's only logical that their successor would be the CD.

Act like an adult, you say? Have you seen how adults are acting ...

2025-09-29T10:47:33Z

Act like an adult, you say? Have you seen how adults are acting these days?

Nostr event nevent1qqsy668f44s6atcp5hrccyeext4thwk7z87usmfnvvjqts03xllnssszyzqql3l0w8natw7wscpanhzmfqr3a7whhzzc6zwlm7hgdan859lu2z55mys

2025-09-28T23:05:54Z

Karmasutra: When life screws you in all kinds of ways.

I like to learn something new every day. Yo-yos work in space ...

2025-09-26T10:21:59Z

I like to learn something new every day.

Yo-yos work in space because they mainly rely on the laws of conservation of angular momentum to perform tricks, which, provided you keep the string taut, also apply in microgravity.

Messy rooms are just obstacle courses designed to enhance ...

2025-09-26T10:19:33Z

Messy rooms are just obstacle courses designed to enhance fitness.

Nostr event nevent1qqs0rl8pr7r82tvuaawstad7pm4mad3tktzff2apvttyecdgf33w9mqzyzqql3l0w8natw7wscpanhzmfqr3a7whhzzc6zwlm7hgdan859lu2sszjky

2025-09-26T10:18:00Z

Some people are wise. Some are … otherwise.

I like to learn something new every day. The tiny, non-functional ...

2025-09-25T10:28:04Z

I like to learn something new every day.

The tiny, non-functional handles on a glass maple syrup bottle are an example of a skeuomorph, something whose only purpose is to indicate something else.

Lorraine sent flowers to her husband’s company as they opened a ...

2025-09-19T23:11:32Z

Lorraine sent flowers to her husband’s company as they opened a new building. When she got to the ribbon cutting, the flowers by the podium surprisingly said “Rest in Peace.” She later quipped, “That’s OK. Somewhere at a funeral, a floral arrangement arrived with the card “Congrats on your new location.”

I once used a colander to watch an eclipse but it strained my ...

2025-09-17T23:20:30Z

I once used a colander to watch an eclipse but it strained my eyes.

Nostr event nevent1qqs9nwdfkekus7f5hufe3ugh2e72qcyrxt6vr7ehx7jlq6pp3xy6ezszyzqql3l0w8natw7wscpanhzmfqr3a7whhzzc6zwlm7hgdan859lu2t8ywa0

2025-09-16T13:37:56Z

Robert Redford? R.I.P.

When I see smiling people raving about their new cleaning ...

2025-09-12T10:41:59Z

When I see smiling people raving about their new cleaning products on TV, I just want to buy the meds they’re on.

Nostr event nevent1qqsxcfk3egwl943f7c3khxgumj43sze9c897dnyhlasuxzjpa7aey8gzyzqql3l0w8natw7wscpanhzmfqr3a7whhzzc6zwlm7hgdan859lu2mm70fu

2025-09-10T11:22:36Z

I’m returning your nose. I found it in my business.

I like to learn something new every day. A comet smells like ...

2025-09-08T10:42:01Z

I like to learn something new every day.

A comet smells like rotten eggs, urine, burning matches, and… almonds. Traces of hydrogen sulphide, ammonia, sulphur dioxide, and hydrogen cyanide were all found in the makeup of the comet 67P/Churyumove-Gerasimenko.

Today I likely will think, “Should I save that cardboard box? ...

2025-09-08T10:29:55Z

Today I likely will think, “Should I save that cardboard box? It’s a good box. Or should I recycle?”

Nostr event nevent1qqs02upwy9al0f8n0xcg7um6nqk2ecq0yhcua9enreevkvkt3e2pj8czyzqql3l0w8natw7wscpanhzmfqr3a7whhzzc6zwlm7hgdan859lu2ea5eh2

2025-08-30T23:18:26Z

Ever get the feeling you seized the wrong day?

Had I known the difference between anecdote and antidote on ...

2025-08-29T10:38:32Z

Had I known the difference between anecdote and antidote on trips, some friends would still be with us.

When I see a bruise on my body now I think, “Was I there when ...

2025-08-28T10:29:30Z

When I see a bruise on my body now I think, “Was I there when that happened?”

Stop saying, “They never taught us that in school.” They did. ...

2025-08-24T10:24:59Z

Stop saying, “They never taught us that in school.” They did. You were talking.

What do rich parents say to babies as they tickle the tyke? ...

2025-08-24T10:01:57Z

What do rich parents say to babies as they tickle the tyke?

“Gucci, Gucci Coup.”

Remember when you could strangle someone with the phone? Those ...

2025-08-09T23:23:44Z

Remember when you could strangle someone with the phone? Those were the days.

Planning to take up meditation. I figure it’s better than ...

2025-08-01T10:40:49Z

Planning to take up meditation. I figure it’s better than sitting around doing nothing.

Our bird came back from the groomers thinking he’s 007. He’s ...

2025-07-31T10:24:46Z

Our bird came back from the groomers thinking he’s 007. He’s just a shorn canary.

Crikey. I was just minding my own business and suddenly 1975 was ...

2025-07-28T23:07:54Z

Crikey. I was just minding my own business and suddenly 1975 was 50 years ago.

I still say the best single by The Palindromes is “If I Had A ...

2025-07-27T10:46:22Z

I still say the best single by The Palindromes is “If I Had A Hi-Fi.”

Body: “It’s sleepy time.” Brain: “It’s thinky time.”

2025-07-26T23:02:10Z

Body: “It’s sleepy time.”
Brain: “It’s thinky time.”

You’ll be surprised at how quickly a Home Depot employee will ...

2025-07-24T10:41:54Z

You’ll be surprised at how quickly a Home Depot employee will assist you when you try to start a chain saw.

Nostr event nevent1qqszv5lhjejhvvu8mzmqtvsj04fqehlxsfsn0xr60k53rtw4ktx04wgzyzqql3l0w8natw7wscpanhzmfqr3a7whhzzc6zwlm7hgdan859lu20sntuh

2025-07-23T23:31:12Z

The name Saturn has a nice ring to it.

“What do you know about Galileo?” “He’s just a poor boy ...

2025-07-19T22:11:13Z

“What do you know about Galileo?”

“He’s just a poor boy from a poor family.”

Nostr event nevent1qqsta5e4pltvahgpw85lwyeq7adzk93gr9srefj6f4y38xu6zctwjhszyzqql3l0w8natw7wscpanhzmfqr3a7whhzzc6zwlm7hgdan859lu2ush48k

2025-06-18T10:33:10Z

Not sure if I’ll lolly gag or dilly dally today.

If you want to impress me with your vehicle, make it a food ...

2025-06-13T11:17:25Z

If you want to impress me with your vehicle, make it a food truck.

Nostr event nevent1qqsw5zzq9qad42kwqucwh975yalqqpeplhqgpl6etx87yf2nt34mpjszyzqql3l0w8natw7wscpanhzmfqr3a7whhzzc6zwlm7hgdan859lu28a9vhs

2025-06-12T11:26:12Z

“Phonetically” doesn’t even start with an “F”.

One good thing—the older we get, the less life in prison is a ...

2025-06-10T10:52:38Z

One good thing—the older we get, the less life in prison is a deterrent.

So many chefs and foodies rely upon the culinary opinions of a ...

2025-06-09T10:20:17Z

So many chefs and foodies rely upon the culinary opinions of a tire manufacturer.

“How much do you usually spend on a bottle of Cabernet?” ...

2025-06-09T10:12:09Z

“How much do you usually spend on a bottle of Cabernet?”

“About one hour.”

Nostr event nevent1qqsrwuzx0mpwdctx05z2cd4ustreyrgqz0pxskarfzsmxx53awestvqzyzqql3l0w8natw7wscpanhzmfqr3a7whhzzc6zwlm7hgdan859lu2hvszz6

2025-06-06T10:17:04Z

The stressed-out soup cook often stirs in his sleep.

Nostr event nevent1qqsd2jqk9k2gwgw5td86vpryv0s5c9uaucgmmlvhrd6swqx3lx6298gzyzqql3l0w8natw7wscpanhzmfqr3a7whhzzc6zwlm7hgdan859lu2xkkdwn

2025-06-03T21:30:48Z

I scream. You scream. Police are called. It’s awkward.

When God created ducks he thought, “I’ll waterproof that ...

2025-06-01T23:48:57Z

When God created ducks he thought, “I’ll waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.”

City planners upon realizing more pedestrian walkways are needed ...

2025-05-24T10:18:59Z

City planners upon realizing more pedestrian walkways are needed should take concrete action.

“Tell me the formula for nitric oxide?” “NO.” “How ...

2025-05-24T10:17:42Z

“Tell me the formula for nitric oxide?”

“NO.”

“How about sodium hypobromite?”

“NaBrO.”

“Certainly you know sodium hydride?”

“NaH.”

Nostr event nevent1qqsr3zn08x5s8v824nmy7fwnrpgccr2sls9xwhvqpfxwtssccxzgtdczyzqql3l0w8natw7wscpanhzmfqr3a7whhzzc6zwlm7hgdan859lu23mnjnh

2025-05-21T10:22:07Z

Do AAA emergency drivers have a jack it jacket?

Nostr event nevent1qqsth2jgxagjl0ze2crhvu5th8k3q6356g40m0n4am5zgqwg636mtjszyzqql3l0w8natw7wscpanhzmfqr3a7whhzzc6zwlm7hgdan859lu2cet0qh

2025-05-13T10:29:36Z

Tombstone typo: grave mistake.

Nostr event nevent1qqsr55xs2uv96es8rm7qtutpsmmu4nfq0tnklfxaqy7yf9w49mn9g3qzyzqql3l0w8natw7wscpanhzmfqr3a7whhzzc6zwlm7hgdan859lu2qc7ayd

2025-05-04T10:33:12Z

Clones are people two.

Nostr event nevent1qqsxh0tngtj0y5aswwurnlnwysvjpr0vzjtetjxm2sa42vyg3s3ytmqzyzqql3l0w8natw7wscpanhzmfqr3a7whhzzc6zwlm7hgdan859lu2585d2t

2025-04-27T10:37:44Z

“Life happens, coffee helps.”

Nostr event nevent1qqs0ddlsat52dj8wtff2s38xnrcdsmgv6uf6h6e33z64l2ezj6n2jhszyzqql3l0w8natw7wscpanhzmfqr3a7whhzzc6zwlm7hgdan859lu22t7pwd

2025-04-12T18:54:03Z

The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.

Her interests being Biblical times and exercise, Ellen is opening ...

2025-04-09T10:29:26Z

Her interests being Biblical times and exercise, Ellen is opening Pontius Pilates.

Nostr event nevent1qqstq20zrxa3m6jautk22e570wg6yrjwaap79lgykgglqceu9ccpvxczyzqql3l0w8natw7wscpanhzmfqr3a7whhzzc6zwlm7hgdan859lu2kty6zl

2025-04-08T10:55:53Z

I have seen a few wine puns that are in pour taste.

I like to learn something new every day. Medieval chastity belts ...

2025-04-07T11:29:38Z

I like to learn something new every day.

Medieval chastity belts are a myth. A great majority of examples now existing were made in the 18th and 19th centuries as jokes.

Nostr event nevent1qqst42d483xc9f6znlt9720ep3kgpht0zkfv5ew9r0lvddxcxlaycjszyzqql3l0w8natw7wscpanhzmfqr3a7whhzzc6zwlm7hgdan859lu29te6q7

2025-04-07T10:33:57Z

Often times it’s not good to be an actor in a finale.

The day Joe Milton got traded, my Patriots' keychain broke. ...

2025-04-03T16:41:16Z

The day Joe Milton got traded, my Patriots' keychain broke. Could it be an augury?

Nostr event nevent1qqsvjqd9qhwp4lrrqllp44l0qfw9f3um4wgd2whn043shs49cjz296qzyzqql3l0w8natw7wscpanhzmfqr3a7whhzzc6zwlm7hgdan859lu2vhhvlc

2025-03-27T10:51:30Z

Unlike wind instruments, humans can produce sound from both ends.

And never goes hungry because of the sand which is there.

2025-03-25T10:38:48Z

In reply to nevent1q…r8pz
_________________________

And never goes hungry because of the sand which is there.

You have corny jokes? I’m all ears.

2025-03-25T10:19:14Z

You have corny jokes?

I’m all ears.

Whoever coined “Out of sight, out of mind” never lost their ...

2025-03-22T17:53:34Z

Whoever coined “Out of sight, out of mind” never lost their poisonous snake.

Due to recent government cutbacks, power for the light at the end ...

2025-03-15T15:55:28Z

Due to recent government cutbacks, power for the light at the end of the tunnel has been terminated.

I like to learn something new every day. Dead people can get ...

2025-03-08T11:46:27Z

I like to learn something new every day. Dead people can get goosebumps.

What are you if you attend a ghost’s birthday celebration? The ...

2025-02-23T11:51:16Z

What are you if you attend a ghost’s birthday celebration?

The life of the party.