Nostr notes by donni saphire

Nostr event nevent1qqspzcnzt6n77s0gcw2qay9gu35vdlx3nx787vzu987qkf3eaxrtjzczyzqzjvt27mwjf2fx6ssxjgg9ntkzfh4k8wv47dpheu6vwqe2z7w52l94805

2026-10-28T04:56:20Z

I'm stuck at that awkward age between birth and death

How about an "escape room" that lets you escape to a ...

2026-10-28T04:44:14Z

How about an "escape room" that lets you escape to a cooler universe

Nostr event nevent1qqsqdj43eunffrcpuu84g9eunkul07h4j3ay6lq48gz5sq6l8zhthjczyzqzjvt27mwjf2fx6ssxjgg9ntkzfh4k8wv47dpheu6vwqe2z7w528ujddk

2026-10-27T04:59:59Z

Xylophones were just invented to give the letter X something to do

Sure, the world is hell, but sometimes it gives you good news as ...

2026-10-26T02:52:32Z

Sure, the world is hell, but sometimes it gives you good news as a delightful little treat

Just do your best. Hell, do your third best. Save the other two ...

2026-10-25T03:10:43Z

Just do your best. Hell, do your third best. Save the other two bests for an emergency

I still panic every time I try to put a shirt on and can't ...

2026-10-24T04:10:12Z

I still panic every time I try to put a shirt on and can't find the head hole

I will not rest until my work is done. Or I get distracted. Or ...

2026-10-23T03:08:12Z

I will not rest until my work is done. Or I get distracted. Or slightly bored

Nostr event nevent1qqsrwqy3rvcpasvg890nxdp9yzuwyh402tphgsrzxnkqcg2fu3xt6aszyzqzjvt27mwjf2fx6ssxjgg9ntkzfh4k8wv47dpheu6vwqe2z7w52ldsg8t

2026-10-22T03:04:05Z

The only thing we have to fear is reality itself

At the tone, please leave your name and number. Start a new life ...

2026-10-19T04:53:10Z

At the tone, please leave your name and number. Start a new life without them

Real life is happening all around you, and it’s very ...

2026-10-19T04:29:16Z

Real life is happening all around you, and it’s very distracting. To avoid any problems, just look at your phone and focus on my posts

Sure, I could “work on myself.” Or I could fake my own death ...

2026-10-18T03:45:21Z

Sure, I could “work on myself.” Or I could fake my own death and become The Legendary Masked Juggler

Nostr event nevent1qqsrut59x0uet9mjep0pynj78uxsmslvujzmd56vxydslpuag4kp4jgzyzqzjvt27mwjf2fx6ssxjgg9ntkzfh4k8wv47dpheu6vwqe2z7w52wtwltg

2026-10-17T03:18:17Z

If I were my brain, I would simply chill out for once

Nostr event nevent1qqsz44x5jpaxadavg0m66xte4ua02jvcsj4c00pqwwlmd3cp6ul7u3czyzqzjvt27mwjf2fx6ssxjgg9ntkzfh4k8wv47dpheu6vwqe2z7w52pywqpw

2026-10-16T03:02:12Z

I’ll stop at nothing to give up immediately

There are many big things to freak out about right now, but ...

2026-10-15T03:16:25Z

There are many big things to freak out about right now, but don’t forget to freak out about the little things too

Hopefully you’re all in love with me by now, or else what's ...

2026-10-14T03:04:22Z

Hopefully you’re all in love with me by now, or else what's the point of all this

Hiring a private investigator to follow me around so I can truly ...

2026-10-13T03:08:14Z

Hiring a private investigator to follow me around so I can truly know myself

If I had a dollar for every time I needed a dollar, that would be ...

2026-10-12T03:03:38Z

If I had a dollar for every time I needed a dollar, that would be convenient

Nostr event nevent1qqsqp0qk04rtu8cmychkukkvp78x782ws9p2cq2up6smsqh9pacne8czyzqzjvt27mwjf2fx6ssxjgg9ntkzfh4k8wv47dpheu6vwqe2z7w526pp45j

2026-10-11T03:35:20Z

You rarely hear bad news about cheese

Pretty sure life never makes sense. You just get old and pretend ...

2026-10-10T03:41:01Z

Pretty sure life never makes sense. You just get old and pretend to understand it

You should stay up and read more posts. You’re just getting to ...

2026-10-09T03:53:15Z

You should stay up and read more posts. You’re just getting to the good part

I keep my fruit in a paper bag so it ripens quickly and I can ...

2026-10-07T03:32:04Z

I keep my fruit in a paper bag so it ripens quickly and I can throw it away faster

Relax. Everything will be fine. Not for you, of course. But ...

2026-10-06T03:46:31Z

Relax. Everything will be fine. Not for you, of course. But somewhere, things are fine for somebody

Nostr event nevent1qqszhrgs4fg3gae8l56v5ye8azvs7wzvahg58vn69a60j6saur29efczyzqzjvt27mwjf2fx6ssxjgg9ntkzfh4k8wv47dpheu6vwqe2z7w52aqjg3a

2026-10-03T04:09:25Z

Self care is so important. Can somebody else do it for me

Why buy the cow if you’re not willing to build a meaningful ...

2026-10-03T03:48:30Z

Why buy the cow if you’re not willing to build a meaningful life together with the cow

Nostr event nevent1qqsf4hpef22erg5aztmscs75k7lsc5ny53dkxjn6fllvkydgxq5853qzyzqzjvt27mwjf2fx6ssxjgg9ntkzfh4k8wv47dpheu6vwqe2z7w52j6p86f

2026-10-02T03:35:43Z

All the tasks are done. Time to flatten myself on a rectangle

This is the last straw. All straw manufacturers have shut down ...

2026-10-01T04:01:28Z

This is the last straw. All straw manufacturers have shut down for some reason

Nostr event nevent1qqsw509jxvlxxz90uxdaj26hw3w58mqwkvar5dxs3uq4hrfjg0anejszyzqzjvt27mwjf2fx6ssxjgg9ntkzfh4k8wv47dpheu6vwqe2z7w522pl05m

2026-09-30T03:25:48Z

I’m in my era era. What a time for times

Nostr event nevent1qqst2yu5quzrm89002mtugs6smsch9f4jpfv0qd7jyh9xkncr6e4lkszyzqzjvt27mwjf2fx6ssxjgg9ntkzfh4k8wv47dpheu6vwqe2z7w52493lvv

2026-09-29T03:51:23Z

Personally, I think wind is fake. Can’t see it? Not real

I will never log “off” or become more “normal” or eat ...

2026-09-28T04:54:07Z

I will never log “off” or become more “normal” or eat “less cheese”

Every night I worry about 258 things, none of which happen, ...

2026-09-27T03:48:35Z

Every night I worry about 258 things, none of which happen, thanks to my preventive worrying

You can lead a horse to water, but it won’t be impressed. ...

2026-09-26T03:32:53Z

You can lead a horse to water, but it won’t be impressed. Horses know about water

Felt like crap. Drank a glass of water and feel so much better. ...

2026-09-25T04:32:29Z

Felt like crap. Drank a glass of water and feel so much better. Infuriating that this works

Nostr event nevent1qqsvy97rvd4swn839mmjz6hw85urvrrx65d7yu2t8qpfdxsysv2tl2gzyzqzjvt27mwjf2fx6ssxjgg9ntkzfh4k8wv47dpheu6vwqe2z7w52qrc8m5

2026-09-24T04:23:11Z

Some of us are simply too cool to go to bed

A bed is the best place to lie awake for hours, neither asleep ...

2026-09-23T04:57:05Z

A bed is the best place to lie awake for hours, neither asleep nor awake, yearning for pizza

Nostr event nevent1qqs0ufjwkuf23rwmvns54mvl89kfph72fyclzz8m0anrk0r3w5zvhwczyzqzjvt27mwjf2fx6ssxjgg9ntkzfh4k8wv47dpheu6vwqe2z7w5238z7as

2026-09-23T04:26:39Z

My imposter syndrome says I’m lying about having it

Which awful person/institution deserves my witty yet stinging ...

2026-09-22T03:08:22Z

Which awful person/institution deserves my witty yet stinging rebuke tonight

Nostr event nevent1qqsr06uf8kelp589sggz2ppu5xy3c4de7cn5j4307xs983yd59j49pqzyzqzjvt27mwjf2fx6ssxjgg9ntkzfh4k8wv47dpheu6vwqe2z7w52knrk3t

2026-09-21T03:48:38Z

Fans of the weekend demand it be extended across the entire week

CASHIER: Is there anything else? ME [whispering]: There’s a ...

2026-09-20T03:53:48Z

CASHIER: Is there anything else?
ME [whispering]: There’s a whole world out there

Love yourself the way you love all the other fun things that are ...

2026-09-11T03:11:00Z

Love yourself the way you love all the other fun things that are bad for you

I’m sleepy, but sure, I could go for several more hours of ...

2026-09-09T03:52:32Z

I’m sleepy, but sure, I could go for several more hours of spiraling thoughts

A good werewolf is hard to find. So is a bad werewolf. Werewolves ...

2026-09-08T04:02:08Z

A good werewolf is hard to find. So is a bad werewolf. Werewolves are hard to find

Nostr event nevent1qqstf0kys2vxzq5q3d2q784xa5e0hycfwc7uh5eyf93u9v6k85vrkggzyzqzjvt27mwjf2fx6ssxjgg9ntkzfh4k8wv47dpheu6vwqe2z7w52t3fms3

2026-09-06T04:14:14Z

Sure, I’m not succeeding, but at least I’m also not trying

Nostr event nevent1qqsdmv9xvjv0v4hcj0hq3vx7wec885ela6n92fwzypzcjqar4uum2ygzyzqzjvt27mwjf2fx6ssxjgg9ntkzfh4k8wv47dpheu6vwqe2z7w52ut57yy

2026-09-04T03:35:06Z

You know what they say: Words. Typically in sentences

Nostr event nevent1qqsdxjxla579ts58vahe8egwktszcvhk8x0mrrajpzkdrwnjddkc2dqzyzqzjvt27mwjf2fx6ssxjgg9ntkzfh4k8wv47dpheu6vwqe2z7w52l0w9h7

2026-09-03T03:52:10Z

Scientists announced today that you could use a hug

At this point in the lecture, I'd like to open up the floor ...

2026-09-02T04:06:20Z

At this point in the lecture, I'd like to open up the floor so demons can fly out

Can’t go to sleep until I think of a foolproof solution to all ...

2026-09-01T04:55:53Z

Can’t go to sleep until I think of a foolproof solution to all current problems

Believe in yourself, idiot. You’re actually probably not that ...

2026-08-31T03:42:30Z

Believe in yourself, idiot. You’re actually probably not that bad, and maybe even awesome

That which doesn't kill you makes you extremely tired and ...

2026-08-30T03:45:12Z

That which doesn't kill you makes you extremely tired and somewhat grumpy

Angry about the things I can’t change, nervous about the things ...

2026-08-29T03:33:26Z

Angry about the things I can’t change, nervous about the things I can

If at first you don't succeed, and never succeed at all, ...

2026-08-28T03:33:47Z

If at first you don't succeed, and never succeed at all, that’s fine, we all return to dust eventually

I'd leave this planet in a second if a younger, cooler planet ...

2026-08-27T03:06:17Z

I'd leave this planet in a second if a younger, cooler planet came along

At the end of the day, I’m just trying to keep my socks dry and ...

2026-08-26T04:57:12Z

At the end of the day, I’m just trying to keep my socks dry and maybe eat a bonus sandwich

Love yourself despite all the valid concerns you have about ...

2026-08-25T04:09:55Z

Love yourself despite all the valid concerns you have about yourself

It’s nice to feel good for like 5 minutes and briefly forget ...

2026-08-24T03:31:34Z

It’s nice to feel good for like 5 minutes and briefly forget how everything is fucked

Nostr event nevent1qqs88zl7634t52nrz7uu299cndzekrfzpat2nz2swn0z8p3x93wh3eqzyzqzjvt27mwjf2fx6ssxjgg9ntkzfh4k8wv47dpheu6vwqe2z7w52zl3hmy

2026-08-23T03:55:52Z

Realized I hate stuff that sucks. Huge epiphany for me

Going to bed as soon as I’m sure that nobody else is having fun ...

2026-08-22T04:49:42Z

Going to bed as soon as I’m sure that nobody else is having fun anywhere

Nostr event nevent1qqsxskcvvs89a255r0ykyx0w96lqxnhk76csm7msvdhcqwn44gqz3dczyzqzjvt27mwjf2fx6ssxjgg9ntkzfh4k8wv47dpheu6vwqe2z7w52me552m

2026-08-21T03:45:58Z

Sorry I’m going to be a little late. I wanted to be much later

We are all made of stars: Gassy, too hot, very old, probably ...

2026-08-20T03:37:04Z

We are all made of stars: Gassy, too hot, very old, probably exploding soon

I bet it was hard to focus on paperwork during the Fall Of Rome ...

2026-08-19T03:58:54Z

I bet it was hard to focus on paperwork during the Fall Of Rome too

Nostr event nevent1qqsftr28fyss0v00hke99rtk2xuxt58wnrll8p5f3rhnc2s45jjvhlszyzqzjvt27mwjf2fx6ssxjgg9ntkzfh4k8wv47dpheu6vwqe2z7w52ra9dgz

2026-08-18T03:25:51Z

Lying on the floor for personal and spiritual reasons

The world could be awesome if it wasn’t ruled by several greedy ...

2026-08-17T04:07:33Z

The world could be awesome if it wasn’t ruled by several greedy miserable assholes

Nostr event nevent1qqs297vlp7xcja5qv84l9a3mmmpcashyl0jx55ztyzjs3hvln3qxeeqzyzqzjvt27mwjf2fx6ssxjgg9ntkzfh4k8wv47dpheu6vwqe2z7w52955vg0

2026-08-16T03:28:56Z

Grown ups are just very old babies, and we’re doing our best

Nostr event nevent1qqsv9n635qfs0jdrtqzn5wcq7sjd429ylvgurj79k5nx0lcl23l7e2szyzqzjvt27mwjf2fx6ssxjgg9ntkzfh4k8wv47dpheu6vwqe2z7w526ur3cf

2026-08-15T03:33:45Z

I hate it when I try to sleep but it’s still 2026

We love what you’re doing, but have you considered changing ...

2026-08-12T04:23:19Z

We love what you’re doing, but have you considered changing everything

Hey, things can always get worse. But they can always get better ...

2026-08-11T04:56:40Z

Hey, things can always get worse. But they can always get better too. Things are always doing various things

Nostr event nevent1qqsv6thwgz5zxuee6eg26y3f8mk2xa58v3zq79zrzyc8cef563e5j0qzyzqzjvt27mwjf2fx6ssxjgg9ntkzfh4k8wv47dpheu6vwqe2z7w52rpqfp0

2026-08-11T03:08:16Z

How much are you supposed to tip a mugger

Nostr event nevent1qqsxr4v3k0cedjv8ws47lsg6u8dpcnwx7khgp3jxp06ahetrp9phazczyzqzjvt27mwjf2fx6ssxjgg9ntkzfh4k8wv47dpheu6vwqe2z7w52qlvtrk

2026-08-10T02:37:55Z

*gets a small splinter*
So this is how I die

It’s so lonely being the only human being who has ever ...

2026-08-09T03:15:40Z

It’s so lonely being the only human being who has ever experienced loneliness

You’re probably wrong about many important things. Anyway, ...

2026-08-08T04:58:18Z

You’re probably wrong about many important things. Anyway, sleep tight!

I have never had a plan. I just show up at different places, ...

2026-08-08T03:54:42Z

I have never had a plan. I just show up at different places, chewing on a hunk of bread

Nostr event nevent1qqsgl5rwfzt8up7pqy3wn0mpv0hz9v7fqpmhyaame2pp4ctylnaeqaczyzqzjvt27mwjf2fx6ssxjgg9ntkzfh4k8wv47dpheu6vwqe2z7w525sdgag

2026-08-07T02:56:09Z

I’m not doing my best, but I’m trying my okayest

Sometimes I let myself feel optimistic for 3 to 5 minutes, as a ...

2026-08-05T03:22:06Z

Sometimes I let myself feel optimistic for 3 to 5 minutes, as a little treat

Nostr event nevent1qqsxxtpzrmzwctj9slvxpm6hlkssj2x30ze3ag0z929syn6whazagagzyzqzjvt27mwjf2fx6ssxjgg9ntkzfh4k8wv47dpheu6vwqe2z7w52hgmy6x

2026-08-03T03:33:04Z

Sorry I never replied to your text. I just didn’t want to

Perhaps it is bad for our mental health to live in a world that ...

2026-08-02T04:40:22Z

Perhaps it is bad for our mental health to live in a world that makes us feel crazy every day

Trying to stay upbeat and positive about all the unchecked ...

2026-07-31T03:17:27Z

Trying to stay upbeat and positive about all the unchecked villainy and madness

Listen to your body? Nah. My body is an idiot who cries for ...

2026-07-30T03:09:49Z

Listen to your body? Nah. My body is an idiot who cries for snacks

Nostr event nevent1qqszxletsm2yhr6ymgshatk27u07jzn57sxs28kezt6frqkgtx8845szyzqzjvt27mwjf2fx6ssxjgg9ntkzfh4k8wv47dpheu6vwqe2z7w52d4sw3s

2026-07-29T03:21:24Z

I hope my bones are having a nice time in there

Nostr event nevent1qqsz7n6645ypm74ety5u6zse7p7963pw9etrgx3mwc8pm778yd3mpdczyzqzjvt27mwjf2fx6ssxjgg9ntkzfh4k8wv47dpheu6vwqe2z7w52evk7s7

2026-07-28T03:19:52Z

Humans are so cute with our little hopes and dreams

Nostr event nevent1qqsr7j9ny5963vp954qva7hlaknj9f90558kt7s2s5rfc0tcm9uapcszyzqzjvt27mwjf2fx6ssxjgg9ntkzfh4k8wv47dpheu6vwqe2z7w523s5cny

2026-07-27T03:56:44Z

Live like a cat. Hiss at strangers. Eat your own hair. Be free

I’m just trying to think positive thoughts while never ...

2026-07-26T04:57:42Z

I’m just trying to think positive thoughts while never forgetting those who have wronged me

My favorite way to relax is to lie down for bed and suddenly ...

2026-07-26T04:30:21Z

My favorite way to relax is to lie down for bed and suddenly rethink my entire life

In a recent study, scientists found we are all flawed, mortal ...

2026-07-25T04:05:56Z

In a recent study, scientists found we are all flawed, mortal beings capable of cruelty as well as kindness. Said one scientist, "Damn, bro”

Nostr event nevent1qqsxurq0e8qlf78v9y50344pj9f2qy9mgkrpl9fvu4yy89dxs83d5ggzyzqzjvt27mwjf2fx6ssxjgg9ntkzfh4k8wv47dpheu6vwqe2z7w52q9cey9

2026-07-24T04:44:09Z

Been thinking about my life, and I recommend not doing that

Tomorrow is another day, even though we just had one of those. ...

2026-07-23T03:53:09Z

Tomorrow is another day, even though we just had one of those. Nobody asked for this

I love to stay up late and have fun even though it’s not fun ...

2026-07-21T04:44:22Z

I love to stay up late and have fun even though it’s not fun and I don’t love it

Life is mostly either sweating too much or being too cold, and ...

2026-07-20T03:31:20Z

Life is mostly either sweating too much or being too cold, and then there are short breaks where you enjoy nature

Nostr event nevent1qqsxetre4yn8jwsz5ewk4x3vzu93xpm3mwp3zc7f0tp2hae5edrrryszyzqzjvt27mwjf2fx6ssxjgg9ntkzfh4k8wv47dpheu6vwqe2z7w522l37rm

2026-07-20T03:12:20Z

Life changes pretty fast, but so do avocados

Nostr event nevent1qqsgpufmv23rzp2ly7hra44p43w53qwlgztey69ly34x4fflju6hv7szyzqzjvt27mwjf2fx6ssxjgg9ntkzfh4k8wv47dpheu6vwqe2z7w52xd8yg7

2026-07-18T03:21:28Z

Give a man a fish. The two, both loners, become best friends

Can’t sleep because Future Me really needs to be well rested, ...

2026-07-17T03:48:46Z

Can’t sleep because Future Me really needs to be well rested, and I refuse to help that guy

Everyone is either furious and depressed or delusional and in ...

2026-07-16T03:21:35Z

Everyone is either furious and depressed or delusional and in denial, which seems healthy for us all

BRAIN: I sense danger BODY: Would it help to poop? BRAIN: No, it ...

2026-07-15T03:05:52Z

BRAIN: I sense danger
BODY: Would it help to poop?
BRAIN: No, it would not help!
BODY: Well, I’m going to poop a little bit

You can just pretend to have your shit together. They don’t ...

2026-07-14T03:48:44Z

You can just pretend to have your shit together. They don’t really check

Toddler Scientists Race To Discover What Goes On In Locked ...

2026-07-14T03:24:36Z

Toddler Scientists Race To Discover What Goes On In Locked Bathroom

When you gaze into the abyss, the abyss looks away nervously, ...

2026-07-13T03:27:01Z

When you gaze into the abyss, the abyss looks away nervously, muttering "Oh, cool, another weirdo”

You have to learn to love yourself before you can start to ...

2026-07-11T03:20:03Z

You have to learn to love yourself before you can start to tolerate other people

Nostr event nevent1qqsylksp8zd8hrwge7qpv68ga4xhk2yxke626rd3tw90r6cg6wv3rqgzyzqzjvt27mwjf2fx6ssxjgg9ntkzfh4k8wv47dpheu6vwqe2z7w52kpx6k4

2026-07-10T04:11:29Z

But if I leave the house, the house will be lonely

Nostr event nevent1qqsqvq2dr5g8zd0xfep5uxhr453rt5kq6ntukfye497lgm2vjrygnpqzyzqzjvt27mwjf2fx6ssxjgg9ntkzfh4k8wv47dpheu6vwqe2z7w52z5p6mk

2026-07-08T04:54:23Z

Just found out I have to be myself for the rest of my life

The first surgeon was just a weirdo with some knives and some ...

2026-07-06T03:01:04Z

The first surgeon was just a weirdo with some knives and some theories

Fortunately, my toddler can sleep through artillery fire. Love ...

2026-07-05T03:36:08Z

Fortunately, my toddler can sleep through artillery fire. Love the annual Night Of Amateur Artillery Fire

I keep having this dream where I live in an incredibly stupid ...

2026-07-04T04:44:55Z

I keep having this dream where I live in an incredibly stupid dystopia, and I can’t wake up