Nostr notes by rosalyn

no machine is more precious than the one that's been ...

2026-07-23T21:19:32Z

no machine is more precious than the one that's been Repaired. even if it isn't good as new, it's filled with the loving kindness of the one who Repaired it.

instead of it convincing you to run code that destroys your ...

2026-05-23T15:03:57Z

In reply to nevent1q…m52c
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instead of it convincing you to run code that destroys your system, it goes ahead & just does it for you

and they've already perfected wireless energy transmission ...

2026-03-28T16:41:45Z

In reply to nevent1q…nzf6
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and they've already perfected wireless energy transmission too, i can't believe more folks aren't in on this

Nostr event nevent1qqsyc9d2py25yn5l7aq9lukyg9xeu0y5vl2w2vedguxwjkdaqy4a7qgzyp9k3ejdcauu0av8jz00fksc6z82v88gq3ulaa0m4eqcaejny9rmw73mw73

2026-03-12T05:24:35Z

BSD (bisexual software distribution)

for no reason in particular i decided to try taking my prog ...

2025-01-14T04:34:24Z

for no reason in particular i decided to try taking my prog sublingually tonight. that was a profoundly unpleasant experience

addendum: when your husband asked if you were secretly a drag ...

2024-12-21T03:01:53Z

In reply to nevent1q…3trc
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addendum: when your husband asked if you were secretly a drag queen, I hope you told him you were in fact a queen bitchgoddess!

gosh, that's an incredible story. You've earned every one ...

2024-12-21T03:00:14Z

In reply to nevent1q…7fyw
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gosh, that's an incredible story. You've earned every one of those tiaras! Not that you need me to tell you :neocat_evil:

one can simply never have too many accessories :neocat_uwu: ...

2024-12-21T02:38:45Z

In reply to nevent1q…46vv
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one can simply never have too many accessories :neocat_uwu: though i have to admit that that *does* sound like a lot of tiaras!

ehe, thank you :blobcatmelt: i also took the vampire strategy for ...

2024-12-20T12:43:11Z

In reply to nevent1q…yq03
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ehe, thank you :blobcatmelt: i also took the vampire strategy for a number of years, but recently I've been trying to get more comfortable with pictures of myself. It's sorta working!

This is what i wore to the banquet event at Big Important Control ...

2024-12-20T07:50:47Z

This is what i wore to the banquet event at Big Important Control Theory Conference. I'm pleased with how this look came out! Enough so that I re-used it for another evening engagement the next day lmao (with different accessories of course :neocat_uwu:

My old PhD advisor-- a man of understated and refined style himself, with whom I got to spend a lot of time at the conference-- was very impressed by how far my post-transition dress sense has come along. His only note was that I should get even more hats, to which my response is a resounding " :ablobcatnodfast: "

I'm glad it's finally coat & jacket season! Though ...

2024-12-12T15:52:28Z

I'm glad it's finally coat & jacket season! Though tbh my office is cold enough to need a jacket no matter the time of year. i need to come up with a better pose lmao

apropos of nothing i encountered a new pronoun signature from a ...

2024-12-04T03:57:34Z

apropos of nothing i encountered a new pronoun signature from a cis person [1] earlier today: he/him/theirs. I appreciate the ingenuity! but i'm at a bit of a loss for how to interpret it, other than "mostly uses he/him, likes they, but doesn't like it as much as someone who would say 'he/they'"

[1] i am inferring this from their self-ID as a "trans ally" rather than a trans person

A post isn't fully able to express my feelings until it has ...

2024-10-13T15:55:30Z

A post isn't fully able to express my feelings until it has an addendum, two or three footnotes, and a script for a short one-act play with neocat tone markers

hehe, you have no idea how many times I've nervously searched ...

2024-09-23T18:17:57Z

In reply to nevent1q…lel4
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hehe, you have no idea how many times I've nervously searched something & immediately launched an "escape parachute tab" to get away from the scary results :neocat_laugh_nervous:

I have tried a *lot* of journal modalities over the years. It took a while to find what I liked best! you should definitely explore lots of options. The thing for me turned out to be a bunch of different md files for different "subjects"; if a consistent theme starts to show up in my work journal or my personal journal (the two main ones), I'll "bud off" another journal just for that. For instance, I did that for voice training and for writing my dissertation. Also, I have a fairly elaborate way of processing my to-do list from one day to the next: I described it to a labmate of mine the other day and apparently I independently invented bullet journaling??

my strategy has just been to do a small bit at a time. I like to ...

2024-09-23T17:57:48Z

In reply to nevent1q…mgk2
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my strategy has just been to do a small bit at a time. I like to think about how to break down tasks & make to-do lists, so this plays into that: If I have a rough idea of what all needs to be done, I can sort of bargain with myself to figure out what's the biggest task that I feel emotionally prepared to do that will get me closer to doing what I want to do. Sometimes-- rarely-- I'm so lionized that I get the strength to start & carry out a whole phone call. On other days, about the best I can do is enter a relevant set of keywords to find info (eg on potential providers in my area) into search & then immediately tab over to something else before the results come up, with the intention of having the strength to actually *look* at the results another day. Silly, yes, but you'd be surprised how well it works.

I've had my share of experience with mental health ...

2024-09-23T16:30:21Z

In reply to nevent1q…p9c0
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I've had my share of experience with mental health professionals & my opinion is pretty strongly mixed. My outpatient therapy team is a big part of the reason I survived anorexia during undergrad; but on the other hand, they were a bunch of hardcore christians [1] who definitely held me back from expressing my gender & romantic identities for many years. Glad not to be dead tho, so I'm thankful for em on the whole.

When I decided it was time for gender-related therapy, I was *very* careful to choose someone extremely, visibly LGBT friendly. The one I went with was actually transmasc!

[1] one of them was literally a missionary; and the other led a program for "turning boys into Christian men" that I was *thankfully* too old for

addendum: holy cow that is quite a cw

Nice & easy! Yeah, if what happens is they give you a sheet ...

2024-09-23T12:18:22Z

In reply to nevent1q…mq4k
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Nice & easy! Yeah, if what happens is they give you a sheet with basic hrt info and side effects [1] and say that you accept any risks, then it's informed consent. Thankfully that's the norm here as well. When I went to my local planned parenthood [2] for my first visit, it went like this:

Roz: So I think I might be transge--
Doc: cool cool :ablobcatnodfast: you want pills, patches, or shots?

[1] and the sheet is almost always laughably incomplete compared to what you can find online or from your gal pals cause it's based on old studies

[2] planned parenthood is generally known for, erm, *other* incredibly important services, but many of them also do gender affirming hormone therapy. I guess they decided they wanted to do *all* the bodily autonomy :blobcat3c:

I think that's a wise way to approach it. I took a similar ...

2024-09-22T20:27:31Z

In reply to nevent1q…qaeu
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I think that's a wise way to approach it. I took a similar journey. HRT was always within easy access for me [1], but it still took me six years before I was ready to start. Mind you, there were some external factors at play, e.g. concerns about my partner and family, but I spent a lot of that time making *very* sure that I was doing the right thing.

[1] pros of getting HRT in the USA: if you're in a friendly state, it is very easy to acquire. cons of getting HRT in the USA: you have to get it through the US healthcare system. Many universities make it extra easy to get through student health plans, but I sadly never got a chance to do this.

ehe, thank you :blobcatmelt: unfortunately hrt is one thing I ...

2024-09-22T20:06:21Z

In reply to nevent1q…vzxy
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ehe, thank you :blobcatmelt:

unfortunately hrt is one thing I can't really give advice on; for one thing I am very biased (it's the next best thing after control theory imo), and for another I only have experience with the medical/healthcare stuff as it's set up in the USA.

I just realized that today is the autumnal equinox-- that means ...

2024-09-22T19:41:22Z

I just realized that today is the autumnal equinox-- that means it's the anniversary of my first year on HRT! [1]

I thought I still had a couple days to come up with a thoughtful retrospective lol :neocat_laugh_sweat: um, what I have concluded about being on hrt for a year is that it's pretty great, pretty much as good as I had hoped it would be for the ~6 years where I could only dream about being on it.

[1] The equinox does not generally fall on the same day every year; for instance, last year, it fell on September 23. However, the occasion of the equinox-- when the unbearable heat of summer makes its fastest retreat [2]-- is much more meaningful to me than the particular date, so I have decided that the autumnal equinox is my HRT anniversary, on whichever day it happens to occur.

[2] I will need to rework this metaphor if I ever move to the southern hemisphere

But no dynamical system is a truly representative model for ...

2024-08-11T21:56:18Z

In reply to nevent1q…klnv
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But no dynamical system is a truly representative model for reality, right? Certainly. So it may seem, at first, that the control theorist's game is folly: what's the point in proving theorems about feedback stabilizing systems that don't exist? Well, Vinnicombe's point is the point: the feedback handles the uncertainty. We use a lot of fancy modern control magic to bring about the desired behavior, but it is the ancient magic-- feedback-- that really makes it work.

("but how do you analyze if the feedback scheme you chose will actually handle the uncertainty, Roz? They're not part of the model so there's nothing to prove." Not entirely! This is what the domain of *robust control* attempts to analyze. The disturbance and uncertainty are represented by random processes and ensembles, and you haven't proven stability until you prove it for all the ensemble. It's not perfect, because there are still unknown unknowns, but it's a solid improvement. Incidentally, Vinnicombe's book is about robust control.)

> There are two, and only two, reasons for using feedback. The ...

2024-08-11T21:53:20Z

> There are two, and only two, reasons for using feedback. The first is to reduce the effect of any unmeasured disturbances acting on the system. The second is to reduce the effect of any uncertainty about the system dynamics.

(Vinnicombe; *Uncertainty and Feedback: H-infinity loop shaping and the nu-gap metric*; Imperial College Press, 2001)

This is an excerpt from a book that I have for several years been struggling to comprehend. (The rest of the book, that is. This part I think I get.) This is meant to counteract the commonly held belief that the purpose of feedback is to modify the behavior of a system, e.g. to stabilize it. Vinnicombe's point, in essence, is that any such modification could be made in open loop for a dynamical system with no uncertainty and no disturbances. Indeed, control theorists and roboticists spend a lot of time in grad school working out precisely how to do this.