Nostr notes by dick_turpin :essex: :cc:

I wonder if Johnny Moped has sent her a Birthday card? Chrissie ...

2026-09-07T10:12:13Z

In reply to nevent1q…7ujd
_________________________

I wonder if Johnny Moped has sent her a Birthday card?

Chrissie Hynde and punk- you just can't get your head around it. 🤣

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Johnny_Moped

So a snotnose at one of our Customers has tried a couple of times ...

2026-09-04T12:30:41Z

So a snotnose at one of our Customers has tried a couple of times to go over my head. He's been trying to call my Director on his mobile.

My Director sent the attached to him.

I'm actually blushing! 😊

What was I saying yesterday about hordes of robots marching up ...

2026-08-26T11:34:58Z

What was I saying yesterday about hordes of robots marching up through Kazakhstan →Poland → Belarus → Germany?

UN warns world is ‘dangerously close’ to letting machines autonomously target and kill humans

https://fortune.com/2026/08/25/killer-robots-un-red-cross/

This is classic Industrial North. The whole part of the country ...

2026-08-26T10:07:37Z

This is classic Industrial North. The whole part of the country is absolutely riddled with historical mine shafts, tunnels and industrialisation, and nobody knows where they all are!

So these tram tracks were laid in the 90s right over an old industrial well. That's gonna be expensive to put right.

Went to the National Tram Museum yesterday. What a great day! ...

2026-08-24T09:17:38Z

Went to the National Tram Museum yesterday.

What a great day!

Oi, @npub1f3r…vgjc, you opened up an outlet near me? ...

2026-08-19T17:12:30Z

Oi, Big George (npub1f3r…vgjc), you opened up an outlet near me?

There is nothing more insulting than being accused of laziness by ...

2026-08-17T11:34:47Z

There is nothing more insulting than being accused of laziness by someone with a pushbutton tailgate!

A couple of my old bosses have kept in touch with me long after I ...

2026-08-17T10:34:08Z

A couple of my old bosses have kept in touch with me long after I stopped working with them. I had this on Saturday from one of them.
(There's nothing here I'm worried about sharing)

Not sure why he would travel all the way down there from the Midlands?

I went to school about a ten-minute walk from the Charlton Athletic football ground.
#Football #Memories #Loyalty #Respect

The Gen Z have no experience of the joys of Pear Drops. Ah, the ...

2026-08-13T08:07:22Z

The Gen Z have no experience of the joys of Pear Drops.

Ah, the endless time spent sucking these while the course sugar-coating rasps the skin off the roof of your mouth and cleans the 40 Marlboros off your tongue.

#ThoseWereTheDays

Here we go ...

2026-08-12T18:23:17Z

Here we go

How did it know that if I followed #Football it would probably be ...

2026-08-07T08:31:03Z

How did it know that if I followed #Football it would probably be West Ham?

Had to bring in the expert again to sort the team out. ...

2026-08-07T07:20:16Z

Had to bring in the expert again to sort the team out.

There's nothing like a Beveridge at 9:45 in the office. ...

2026-08-04T08:43:09Z

There's nothing like a Beveridge at 9:45 in the office.
#IcedTea

You have God ...

2026-08-04T07:50:46Z

You have God

Right, children, got your rocks, stones, pebbles and bags of ...

2026-08-03T13:17:04Z

Right, children, got your rocks, stones, pebbles and bags of gravel ready?

I've just taken out a yearly subscription at work for Claude AI. Having tested ChatGPT, Copilot and Claude extensively, I have to admit Claude is a clear winner.

If I had to rank them, I would say Claude, Copilot and ChatGPT probably fifth!

ChatGPT has very poor integration with many business apps and seems to struggle to give you what you ask for without at least four attempts.

#AI #Claude #Copilot #ChatGPT

I bet you think that's just printed paper? That's £15k ...

2026-07-31T08:34:35Z

I bet you think that's just printed paper?
That's £15k profit sitting there.

LOL Who would wear it? ...

2026-07-31T07:57:17Z

LOL

Who would wear it?

I am home. ...

2026-07-29T17:13:04Z

I am home.

One of my suppliers has started providing (FREE) SEN (Special ...

2026-07-28T12:53:27Z

One of my suppliers has started providing (FREE) SEN (Special Educational Needs) keyboards for laptops. 👍🏻

This is not just toast; this is M&S toast! ...

2026-07-28T11:25:30Z

This is not just toast; this is M&S toast!

I have been playing Halo all weekend. ...

2026-07-27T09:08:58Z

I have been playing Halo all weekend.

This is me most days. ...

2026-07-24T07:44:23Z

This is me most days.

If you're driving, get this on, put your shades on, and crank ...

2026-07-24T07:39:18Z

If you're driving, get this on, put your shades on, and crank up the volume!

Ahahaha So it's all you #Green environmentalists to blame for ...

2026-07-23T10:32:15Z

Ahahaha

So it's all you #Green environmentalists to blame for the heatwaves!

Two pictures I should have taken yesterday. Charlie's ...

2026-07-21T12:49:31Z

Two pictures I should have taken yesterday.

Charlie's encounter with the burrowing owls. They went absolutely ape-shit at him. I honestly think if they could have got at him, they would have done Charlie over!

Charlie's encounter with the tortoise. For a good five minutes, Charlie was like. WTF is that? Then he decided the best course of action was to threaten it with low growls. The tortoise, by comparison, was like, "You want some?" 🤣

So Andy Burnham's 5% VAT cut on energy will get you, on ...

2026-07-21T10:01:52Z

So Andy Burnham's 5% VAT cut on energy will get you, on average, £3.75 a month.

That's five loaves @ £0.75 a loaf; now all we need is five fish!
#Politics

https://www.ft.com/content/7700d94a-d204-439a-92c8-027f67320b73

Went to see @npub1vq3…2ndl's favourites yesterday. ...

2026-07-21T08:30:53Z

Went to see tig (npub1vq3…2ndl)'s favourites yesterday.
Bourton-on-the-Water
#BirdLand

Oops! I broke Fakebook. ...

2026-07-19T08:24:59Z

Oops! I broke Fakebook.

We also have a microcolony of bees. Google originally said they ...

2026-07-18T10:45:07Z

We also have a microcolony of bees. Google originally said they were Common carder bumblebees, but after a few other images, it reckons they're just your common Western honey bee.
#CastleCannon

Apparently, this is a Gatekeeper butterfly visiting the grounds ...

2026-07-18T10:41:09Z

Apparently, this is a Gatekeeper butterfly visiting the grounds of #CastleCannon

I miss those days: When no snot nose called up Google to prove ...

2026-07-17T10:19:02Z

I miss those days: When no snot nose called up Google to prove you wrong.

Started playing with Claude.ai, since a fair few of my customers ...

2026-07-13T13:42:52Z

Started playing with Claude.ai, since a fair few of my customers are using it. It does seem better than Copilot and ChatGPT, and I like the M365 integration.

You can call up documents in your SharePoint (If you know the name or at least part of it)

Like ChatGPT, you only get so many goes until it locks you out for a period of time, so be careful what you ask it, or you'll run out of credits.

𝗧𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗺𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻.... ...

2026-07-13T11:19:51Z

𝗧𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗺𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻....

You realise you've been a tad overambitious in telling a customer late on Friday that you would answer all the questions for them in their Cyber Essentials application by close of business today. 😟

I have just eaten an Apple turnover and a multi-fruit muffin from ...

2026-07-13T08:18:18Z

I have just eaten an Apple turnover and a multi-fruit muffin from Marks & Spencer's food hall.

♫ ♪ "𝘞𝘩𝘰 𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘪𝘦𝘴? 𝘞𝘩𝘰 𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘪𝘦𝘴......" ♬ ♩

I am officially old. Listening to Jethro Tull -- The very best ...

2026-07-12T10:06:16Z

I am officially old.

Listening to Jethro Tull -- The very best of.

And it's brilliant.

Of course, lyrics such as "Sitting on a park bench eyeing little girls with bad intent" Are a bit Whoa! 🙈

Even at this time in the morning, Charlie knows where to go. ...

2026-07-10T06:54:38Z

Even at this time in the morning, Charlie knows where to go.

Of course, there are some advantages to being dead, you know. My ...

2026-07-09T12:18:59Z

Of course, there are some advantages to being dead, you know.

My mum would be totally hacked off at the current temperatures.

#UKweather

I was let loose in Marks & Spencer food hall this morning. I ...

2026-07-09T10:28:22Z

I was let loose in Marks & Spencer food hall this morning. I am not allowed to go into M&S on my own.

I had marinated paprika king prawns as soon as I got to the office, and I have cheese and pickle for lunch.

Their Tapas selection is to die for. 🤤 🤤 🤤

It's good to be home. ...

2026-07-08T17:03:19Z

It's good to be home.

I might stand against Farage. Any shady Crypto people fancy ...

2026-07-08T07:47:05Z

I might stand against Farage. Any shady Crypto people fancy stumping up the £500 deposit for me? I stand a good chance of winning!
#Politics

Had to sleep with this lot attached to me last night. ...

2026-07-08T07:40:29Z

Had to sleep with this lot attached to me last night.

I haz a new KVM. ...

2026-07-07T12:04:15Z

I haz a new KVM.

Getting a bit fed up of sitting around in #NHS waiting rooms. ...

2026-07-07T07:37:54Z

Getting a bit fed up of sitting around in #NHS waiting rooms. Seems like it's every day just lately. I think that's the worst. Not feeling ill, and yet apparently, you have 'conditions'.

The biggest insult of all is Brits who have emigrated to America ...

2026-07-04T13:17:56Z

The biggest insult of all is Brits who have emigrated to America celebrating Independence Day. It's a betrayal on so many levels. 😉

I saw Roxy Music perform this album at Wembley Arena in 1980. ...

2026-07-03T19:28:25Z

I saw Roxy Music perform this album at Wembley Arena in 1980. Christ, that was a long time ago.

Nostr event nevent1qqsvax4dc469apdpsktdhj8k85npr9mk3y2dsenxqd8hdn8t5qlracczyrhak4rjf6z0wrnfsnxxnq8vkmadlw4f30q0g6ehytg3v5chgdlxgn8m9wf

2026-07-03T19:23:02Z

We are drinking. ...

2026-07-03T18:44:14Z

We are drinking.

Currently streaming to #CastleCannon while messing about on the ...

2026-07-03T18:41:38Z

Currently streaming to #CastleCannon while messing about on the compooter.
#BladeRunner

Dear China Have you got a knock-off one of these? I can't ...

2026-07-03T10:21:17Z

Dear China

Have you got a knock-off one of these?
I can't afford £329.00
🇨🇳

Welcome to the constant revolution! ...

2026-07-02T10:58:48Z

In reply to nevent1q…vp5n
_________________________

Welcome to the constant revolution!

Christ, I hope they lose! #Football ...

2026-07-01T09:20:09Z

Christ, I hope they lose!
#Football

We are closing early today for the England vs DR Congo. My boss ...

2026-07-01T09:08:10Z

We are closing early today for the England vs DR Congo. My boss sent a sarcastic email on Monday.

"𝘞𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘯𝘰 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘧𝘢𝘪𝘳 𝘸𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘴𝘩 𝘢𝘵 16:30 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘌𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘨𝘢𝘮𝘦."

I know EXACTLY who he was referring to, so I responded with a picture.

"𝘐'𝘮 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘺."

#Football

You're taking the P! ...

2026-06-29T13:02:59Z

You're taking the P!

Nostr event nevent1qqsf9fwnrhj7wwltuzlfkkyvetdurgn258qw2ly4lz3x44eumr08gjszyrhak4rjf6z0wrnfsnxxnq8vkmadlw4f30q0g6ehytg3v5chgdlxgjk99qt

2026-06-29T07:58:20Z

Apparently.

That's not a cracker. THAT'S A CRACKER! ...

2026-06-25T11:40:25Z

That's not a cracker.

THAT'S A CRACKER!

It's up. But the missus needs to sort that plant out. I ...

2026-06-21T14:02:47Z

It's up. But the missus needs to sort that plant out. I don't like it.

I am back from the NEC and the BBC Garden Show. I am also ...

2026-06-20T15:44:39Z

I am back from the NEC and the BBC Garden Show. I am also knackered.

One of my daughters came round last night to show off her new ...

2026-06-19T09:37:47Z

One of my daughters came round last night to show off her new Dyson Supersonic hairdryer @ £449.99

It looks exactly like a length of right-angle copper pipe! 🤯

Day three and another disappointed member of the Microsoft ...

2026-06-18T13:22:11Z

Day three and another disappointed member of the Microsoft support team.

𝗠𝗦: "I have requested that the 2FA be cleared, and the team has come back with approval, so we can go ahead and log in."

𝗠𝗲: "Nope, it's still asking for a hardware token."

𝗠𝗦: "Can you send me some screenshots, please?"

𝗠𝗲: "Sure."

𝗠𝗦: "Hmm? Will have to go back to the team and call you back."

Thank the Pond Gods for that. Someone's arrived who actually ...

2026-06-18T12:42:57Z

Thank the Pond Gods for that. Someone's arrived who actually knows what they are doing!

Does 2015 seem like a long time ago? ...

2026-06-17T15:19:32Z

In reply to nevent1q…5ntu
_________________________

Does 2015 seem like a long time ago?

Waiting for Microsoft to call me back. ...

2026-06-17T15:00:28Z

Waiting for Microsoft to call me back.

I'm doing a bit of tidying up in my office, and I came across ...

2026-06-17T09:24:32Z

I'm doing a bit of tidying up in my office, and I came across this old crib sheet I created for new staff.

20mg or higher HDD Bwahaha
"You'll never fill it, mate."

Those were the days.

Sick to death of these Just stop oil protesters lying in the ...

2026-06-15T12:29:56Z

Sick to death of these Just stop oil protesters lying in the road!

Anyone got a spare £611.25? I'd love Alex on my desk. ...

2026-06-14T07:09:13Z

Anyone got a spare £611.25?

I'd love Alex on my desk.

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/267474397842

Some of us are home early. ...

2026-06-12T15:57:29Z

Some of us are home early.

Dressing change day again. Nurse: "I need to measure the ...

2026-06-12T09:49:32Z

Dressing change day again.

Nurse: "I need to measure the wound."
Blaze Pete: "No problem." Thinking she meant diameter.
Nurse: "I need to measure the depth."
Pete: "AAArrrrrggggghh Christ!"
Nurse: "1CM, that's good."
Pete: "I don't have a centimetre depth of flesh on my back!"

And this is why I believe the #NHS needs a damn good shakeup. All ...

2026-06-10T10:35:19Z

And this is why I believe the #NHS needs a damn good shakeup. All I needed was a box or two of the seaweed packing. When I got home, the wife said, "This lot was delivered in a great big NHS lorry!" There must be £300 worth there! I don't need it!

I took it to the doctors this morning in a large bin bag. I restrained myself as the staff there said, "That's a big bag you've got there."

That's the trouble with state run operations. Nobody gives a shit about money.

If only I drank Guinness. ...

2026-06-09T10:29:43Z

If only I drank Guinness.

Had my dressing changed this morning - Ouch! ...

2026-06-04T10:21:27Z

Had my dressing changed this morning - Ouch!

I'm certainly getting my money's worth out of the #NHS ...

2026-05-31T22:17:41Z

I'm certainly getting my money's worth out of the #NHS

The question is: Can one die from eating a B&M egg and ...

2026-05-29T11:36:38Z

The question is: Can one die from eating a B&M egg and mayonnaise sandwich?

This has been sat in my bottom drawer for over twenty years. I ...

2026-05-29T09:18:41Z

This has been sat in my bottom drawer for over twenty years. I saw a toot about cassette tapes, by the way.

Morning All Yet another medical appointment. #TZAG ...

2026-05-28T07:49:15Z

Morning All
Yet another medical appointment.
#TZAG

Nostr event nevent1qqsd90jn2ahwh3tkyy6cvxmeymh9d7g49zwu0fhs0yrquuyn6x2ul5gzyrhak4rjf6z0wrnfsnxxnq8vkmadlw4f30q0g6ehytg3v5chgdlxgtvr65d

2026-05-27T11:26:29Z

Omnomnom

For a boy that grew up in Southeast London on a staple diet of ...

2026-05-27T06:44:41Z

For a boy that grew up in Southeast London on a staple diet of sausages, pies, and stew, we've come a long way.
#TZAG #TCBC

I've drunk so much of this stuff since Saturday morning. ...

2026-05-26T19:12:21Z

I've drunk so much of this stuff since Saturday morning. Sainsbury's is about to bar me for hoarding.
☀️ 🥵

I've taken an extra day off to enjoy the sun! ...

2026-05-26T08:22:58Z

I've taken an extra day off to enjoy the sun!

Hmm? Bottle number two. If I'm not kicking baby otters, ...

2026-05-22T16:36:25Z

Hmm? Bottle number two. If I'm not kicking baby otters, I'm drinking them!

And I'm home. The Bank Holiday starts here. ...

2026-05-22T15:53:29Z

And I'm home.
The Bank Holiday starts here.

Currently listening to the soundtrack from Blade Runner. Vangelis ...

2026-05-22T14:22:28Z

Currently listening to the soundtrack from Blade Runner. Vangelis was a giant that other musicians stood on the shoulders of.

In your 20s to 30s, you'll take time off to have fun. In your ...

2026-05-22T09:16:51Z

In your 20s to 30s, you'll take time off to have fun.

In your 30s to 50s, you'll take time off to recharge your batteries.

Once you hit 50, you'll take time off to recharge your defence shields.

Morning All Weather is picking up in the glorious kingdom of ...

2026-05-22T05:15:15Z

Morning All
Weather is picking up in the glorious kingdom of Englishland.
#HappyFriday #Breakfast #TZAG

Here's something to think about. Supermarkets, like most ...

2026-05-20T10:37:51Z

Here's something to think about.

Supermarkets, like most businesses, have a fixed markup on the goods they sell. Let's say it's 50p on an item that, in this case, is £2.00 with a Clubcard. So they're making a massive £1.80 on the regular price.

I get it, they want you to be loyal to their supermarket, but these loyalty schemes are such a con.

Currently listening to while creating the Mailchimp Newsletter. ...

2026-05-19T09:24:52Z

Currently listening to while creating the Mailchimp Newsletter.

Certainly, one or two civilians I'd like to plug. 🤣 😉

Is anyone else doing this FIFA World Cup 2026 sticker book lark? ...

2026-05-18T08:06:49Z

Is anyone else doing this FIFA World Cup 2026 sticker book lark?

One of my daughters and the other daughter's partner are behaving like eleven-year-olds.

"Well, you haven't got the official tin, have you!"

"You haven't got this shiny, have you!"

Both are in their mid-30s, I have to add. #Football, what a nightmare.

Last post about the Cluster hat, promise. Updated the status page ...

2026-05-15T12:15:46Z

Last post about the Cluster hat, promise.

Updated the status page description. 🤣 🐟

#Raspberrypi #UptimeKuma

My #Raspberrypi cluster is like a goldfish. It doesn't do a ...

2026-05-15T11:10:58Z

My #Raspberrypi cluster is like a goldfish. It doesn't do a lot. I'm simply glad it's alive and healthy.
#clusterhat

And we survived a reboot. I think that deserves a cup of tea! ...

2026-05-14T13:28:11Z

And we survived a reboot.

I think that deserves a cup of tea!
#Raspberrypi #clusterhat #visualizer

Fixing playbooks and protecting Docker. pi@pi0:~ $ sudo apt-mark ...

2026-05-14T12:07:58Z

Fixing playbooks and protecting Docker.

pi@pi0:~ $ sudo apt-mark hold docker-ce docker-ce-cli containerd.io

#Raspberrypi #ansible #ARMv6

There's no love for old ARMv6 😢 #raspberrypi #pizero ...

2026-05-14T11:27:14Z

There's no love for old ARMv6 😢
#raspberrypi #pizero #github

Spent some time resurrecting my #raspberrypi cluster. It looks ...

2026-05-14T10:55:42Z

Spent some time resurrecting my #raspberrypi cluster. It looks like every man and his dog has dropped support for Pi Zero 1st Gen., which hasn't made it any easier. Still, as the saying goes:

"There's still life in the old bugger, yet."
#clusterhat #8086

I rewrote the famous Beat song from 1983 #StarmerMustGo #Politics ...

2026-05-14T08:23:35Z

I rewrote the famous Beat song from 1983
#StarmerMustGo #Politics #UseLabour

The floor to #CastleCannon begins. ...

2026-05-12T10:57:35Z

The floor to #CastleCannon begins.

I have drunk bottled water for over thirty years now, mainly ...

2026-05-11T08:56:57Z

I have drunk bottled water for over thirty years now, mainly because of all the chemicals they put in tap water. Today, we had a ticket that proves my point.

𝗖𝘂𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗿: "Why does my new laptop have an account for you on it!!! The laptop does not belong to you, it belongs to us!!!

Remove your account immediately."

😭 😢

Morning All Up the workers! Me and the SIL mixing screed, coz ...

2026-05-11T06:49:27Z

Morning All

Up the workers!

Me and the SIL mixing screed, coz it's a two man job.
#TZAG

And reform absolutely slaughters my local council. ...

2026-05-08T10:02:16Z

And reform absolutely slaughters my local council.

Labour 3rd. Where they should be. 🤣🤣😉 #localelections ...

2026-05-08T09:22:18Z

Labour 3rd. Where they should be. 🤣🤣😉
#localelections

I'm working, honest. 😇 ...

2026-05-08T09:10:35Z

I'm working, honest. 😇

I voted, have you? #uklocalelections ...

2026-05-07T07:47:01Z

I voted, have you?
#uklocalelections