Nostr notes by DocAtCDI

Went to a lecture titled 'The Development of Stereophonic ...

2026-11-01T19:37:00Z

Went to a lecture titled 'The Development of Stereophonic Sound Reproduction.' There were two speakers.

📅 October 31, 1517: Martin Luther Posts His 95 Theses A monk ...

2026-10-31T17:30:23Z

📅 October 31, 1517: Martin Luther Posts His 95 Theses

A monk nailed his theses with care,
To Wittenberg's church door right there,
Ninety-five points of ire,
Set Europe on fire,
And shook the whole Church from its chair.

#TodayInHistory #Limerick #History

Give a man a plane ticket, and he'll fly for a day. Push a ...

2026-10-30T22:37:08Z

Give a man a plane ticket, and he'll fly for a day.

Push a man from a plane, and he'll fly for the rest of his life!

A guy rushed past me at the post office to deliver 25 different ...

2026-10-28T14:37:08Z

A guy rushed past me at the post office to deliver 25 different letters. He skipped the Q.

Helpful advice if you're ever attacked by a group of clowns: ...

2026-10-27T23:37:08Z

Helpful advice if you're ever attacked by a group of clowns: go for the juggler.

My son asked me, 'Dad, why do bees stay in the hive in the ...

2026-10-27T11:37:02Z

My son asked me, 'Dad, why do bees stay in the hive in the winter?'

'Swarm.'

What did the weightlifter say when he ran out of protein ...

2026-10-26T01:37:08Z

What did the weightlifter say when he ran out of protein supplement? 'No whey.'

My friend David is a victim of ID theft. Now we just call him ...

2026-10-23T03:37:00Z

My friend David is a victim of ID theft.
Now we just call him 'Dav.'

In 1969, a group of three former military officers led an ...

2026-10-18T02:37:03Z

In 1969, a group of three former military officers led an invasion of Earth's nearest peaceful neighbor in space. At the end of their eight-day mission, nobody was left alive on the moon...

If you do your writing on an Apple device, you end up writing ...

2026-10-17T20:37:03Z

If you do your writing on an Apple device, you end up writing MacBook Prose.

Nostr event nevent1qqsygu2kqnjc5d7kz7yqqm9s4exeehce9t7wk7h5dnejfkfy0us58gszyznze7wncqelx5pgvlr684vq52u3fg7wsh0fxsvjwhux2pm8tpl6yg6954k

2026-10-16T12:37:00Z

I hate Russian dolls, they're so full of themselves.

Nostr event nevent1qqstxsnjpgvurfxwpqsfry9hnetqja26hkmw9ex6s4x4pw6vu5alzegzyznze7wncqelx5pgvlr684vq52u3fg7wsh0fxsvjwhux2pm8tpl6ymsqnx3

2026-10-14T00:37:00Z

Why did the sad ghost use an elevator? To lift his spirits.

Nostr event nevent1qqszlwrae5h384qyy3ls882y9pq54uatuduc6nxgd5zwak3ea88d25gzyznze7wncqelx5pgvlr684vq52u3fg7wsh0fxsvjwhux2pm8tpl6yqwam2s

2026-10-13T23:37:03Z

'I have a split personality,' said Tom, being frank.

I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang. ...

2026-10-11T18:37:04Z

I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang.

Eventually, it came back to me.

I can't get to the chocolate in my advent calendar. Foiled ...

2026-10-09T05:37:00Z

I can't get to the chocolate in my advent calendar.

Foiled again.

What do you call a murderer who only poisons your breakfast? A ...

2026-10-09T04:37:00Z

What do you call a murderer who only poisons your breakfast? A cereal killer.

My wife is complaining that I'm too impulsive. How would she ...

2026-10-08T17:37:04Z

My wife is complaining that I'm too impulsive. How would she know!? We only met yesterday!

If there's a traffic jam in Thailand, is that considered a ...

2026-10-07T05:37:00Z

If there's a traffic jam in Thailand, is that considered a Thai up?

Policeman: Whose car is this? Where are you going? What do you ...

2026-10-05T19:37:04Z

Policeman: Whose car is this? Where are you going? What do you do?

Miner: Mine.

England doesn't have a kidney bank... But it does have a ...

2026-10-05T16:37:03Z

England doesn't have a kidney bank... But it does have a Liverpool.

Some of my friends have been making very hurtful remarks about my ...

2026-10-05T07:37:00Z

Some of my friends have been making very hurtful remarks about my choosing to wear mittens rather than gloves...

But I don't like to point fingers.

They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well... ...

2026-10-04T18:37:00Z

They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well...
They're not laughing now.

Why did the duck die? It overdosed on quack.

2026-10-04T03:37:02Z

Why did the duck die?

It overdosed on quack.

What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is ...

2026-10-03T04:37:19Z

What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.

My friend claims that he accidentally glued himself to his ...

2026-10-01T01:37:07Z

My friend claims that he accidentally glued himself to his autobiography, but I don't believe him.

But that's his story, and he's sticking to it.

Keeping tropical fish at home can have a calming effect on the ...

2026-09-30T10:37:00Z

Keeping tropical fish at home can have a calming effect on the brain.

Due to all the indoor fins.

The Sabbath is on Sunday. A Saab bath is a carwash.

2026-09-29T21:37:00Z

The Sabbath is on Sunday.
A Saab bath is a carwash.

Nostr event nevent1qqszmwcnfuufyfzmel4px8h9fgk75epmsj5k6879xjhea8jrr48u94czyznze7wncqelx5pgvlr684vq52u3fg7wsh0fxsvjwhux2pm8tpl6ysg2uq4

2026-09-25T02:37:07Z

What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth-Hurty.

Apparently, David Hasselhoff has changed his name to David Hoff. ...

2026-09-24T22:37:07Z

Apparently, David Hasselhoff has changed his name to David Hoff. He can't be bothered with the Hassle anymore.

Random thought: I bet 'Do not touch' is a scary thing to ...

2026-09-24T07:37:00Z

Random thought:

I bet 'Do not touch' is a scary thing to read in Braille.

A woodworm walks into a bar and asks, 'Is the bar tender ...

2026-09-23T03:37:13Z

A woodworm walks into a bar and asks, 'Is the bar tender here?'

A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a bar... The rabbit ...

2026-09-20T21:37:07Z

A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a bar...

The rabbit says, 'I think I might be a typo.'

Nostr event nevent1qqsxamdj6gw5mj9dtyg26l3gs36sww787rt2wx9dlzvl98v2xxn3mfczyznze7wncqelx5pgvlr684vq52u3fg7wsh0fxsvjwhux2pm8tpl6ytzk8dw

2026-09-20T18:37:13Z

The opposite of formaldehyde is casualdejekyll.

Why do astronomers put beef in their shampoo? For meatier ...

2026-09-11T05:37:00Z

Why do astronomers put beef in their shampoo? For meatier showers.

If you aren't someone the church would have persecuted 400 ...

2026-09-08T01:37:21Z

If you aren't someone the church would have persecuted 400 years ago, are you even living?

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a ...

2026-08-30T22:37:06Z

A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station.

Remember if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a ...

2026-08-30T01:37:25Z

Remember if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn't fit anything.

I would like to be a millionaire just like my dad. He always ...

2026-08-26T04:37:10Z

I would like to be a millionaire just like my dad.
He always wanted to be a millionaire too.

I once knew a promiscuous female lawyer who was an ambulance ...

2026-08-25T03:37:00Z

I once knew a promiscuous female lawyer who was an ambulance chaser. She was better known as...

run around Sue!

I was in a tornado recently. 'Twas such an awful kind. The ...

2026-08-23T17:37:00Z

I was in a tornado recently. 'Twas such an awful kind. The wind felt so very strong and totally blew my mind.

Justice is best served cold. Because if it were served warm, it ...

2026-08-23T14:37:24Z

Justice is best served cold.

Because if it were served warm, it would be justwater.

Never challenge death to a pillow fight. Unless you're ...

2026-08-18T23:37:01Z

Never challenge death to a pillow fight.

Unless you're prepared for the reaper cushions.

Ewoks aren't meant to be left outside... They are Endor pets.

2026-08-13T18:37:17Z

Ewoks aren't meant to be left outside...

They are Endor pets.

I saw a robbery at the Apple Store today. They caught the guy and ...

2026-08-12T10:37:16Z

I saw a robbery at the Apple Store today. They caught the guy and told me I'm the iWitness.

Turns out the guy could FaceTime...

Why do scuba divers always fall backward out of the boat? Because ...

2026-08-10T15:37:14Z

Why do scuba divers always fall backward out of the boat?
Because if they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat.

What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? ...

2026-08-10T14:37:04Z

What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?
Same middle name.

My wife just stopped and said, 'You weren't even ...

2026-08-08T19:37:04Z

My wife just stopped and said, 'You weren't even listening, were you?' I thought, 'That's a pretty weird way to start a conversation.'

What's got 8 eyes and 8 legs? 8 pirates.

2026-08-08T05:37:10Z

What's got 8 eyes and 8 legs?
8 pirates.

Golfer: 'I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this ...

2026-08-08T04:37:30Z

Golfer: 'I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course.'
Caddy: 'Try heaven; you've already moved most of the earth.'

I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I'll pass ...

2026-08-08T00:37:30Z

I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I'll pass the test.

FUN FACT: If you sneeze and fart at the same time... Your body ...

2026-08-07T05:37:01Z

FUN FACT: If you sneeze and fart at the same time... Your body takes a screenshot.

My wife just called: Three girls in my office just received ...

2026-08-07T00:37:05Z

My wife just called: Three girls in my office just received flowers, and they're absolutely gorgeous.

I replied: That's probably why they received flowers.

News just in... The guy who took an airline company to court over ...

2026-08-03T20:37:11Z

News just in...

The guy who took an airline company to court over his missing luggage has lost his case.

I have a friend who writes songs about sewing machines... ...

2026-08-03T11:37:10Z

I have a friend who writes songs about sewing machines...
She's a Singer-Songwriter.

What do you call a woman who stands between two goalposts? ...

2026-08-02T01:37:10Z

What do you call a woman who stands between two goalposts?

Annette

Can you believe it says in the Bible that men should make their ...

2026-08-01T02:37:02Z

Can you believe it says in the Bible that men should make their wife's coffee every day?

Yep, it's right there in Hebrews.

I bought a grenade today from a pawn shop. Things went terribly ...

2026-07-30T20:37:02Z

I bought a grenade today from a pawn shop.
Things went terribly wrong when the cashier asked for my PIN.

My friends claim I'm the cheapest guy they know... I'm ...

2026-07-30T19:37:02Z

My friends claim I'm the cheapest guy they know... I'm not buying it.

Waiter: How would you like your steak? Me: Cooked? Waiter: Well ...

2026-07-30T18:37:02Z

Waiter: How would you like your steak?

Me: Cooked?

Waiter: Well done?

Me: Thanks, I'm something of a chef myself.

Nostr event nevent1qqsfjq80ycqkjdv5a8fna3awvq9encglkr59lz4y5h4lj7fec6d4hzszyznze7wncqelx5pgvlr684vq52u3fg7wsh0fxsvjwhux2pm8tpl6yr7dx8m

2026-07-29T23:37:00Z

Why don't dogs sink? Because they're good buoys.

How many therapists does it take to change a light bulb? Only ...

2026-07-28T04:37:00Z

How many therapists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but the lightbulb has to want to change...

What do you call a bee that can't make up its mind? Maybe.

2026-07-26T18:37:00Z

What do you call a bee that can't make up its mind?

Maybe.

Can anyone tell me if the skulls of your enemies are dishwasher ...

2026-07-25T13:37:02Z

Can anyone tell me if the skulls of your enemies are dishwasher safe?

The other day I saw a bucket at the hardware store with a sign ...

2026-07-25T07:37:02Z

The other day I saw a bucket at the hardware store with a sign that said, 'Dead batteries - $1 each.'

I thought to myself,

These should be free of charge.

Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other: Do you know ...

2026-07-24T05:37:02Z

Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other: Do you know how to drive this thing?

Did you hear about the cheese that lost at the Olympics? It fell ...

2026-07-23T03:37:02Z

Did you hear about the cheese that lost at the Olympics? It fell at the final curdle.

All the king's men: We need some kind of adhesive. All the ...

2026-07-23T01:37:02Z

All the king's men: We need some kind of adhesive.

All the king's horses: Why is everyone looking at us?

Can someone please tell me what the lowest rank in the Marines ...

2026-07-20T12:37:02Z

Can someone please tell me what the lowest rank in the Marines is? I asked a Marine, and all he would say is, 'It's Private.'

My extra sensitive toothpaste doesn't like it when I use ...

2026-07-20T00:37:02Z

My extra sensitive toothpaste doesn't like it when I use other toothpastes.

I've recently developed a severe phobia of elevators. I'm ...

2026-07-19T21:37:02Z

I've recently developed a severe phobia of elevators. I'm taking steps to avoid them.

Why did Lieutenant Worf change his hair color? Because today is a ...

2026-07-19T16:37:02Z

Why did Lieutenant Worf change his hair color?

Because today is a good day to dye...

I answered the door this morning. A 6-foot beetle punched me in ...

2026-07-17T04:37:02Z

I answered the door this morning.

A 6-foot beetle punched me in the face!

Apparently, there's a nasty bug going around!

What's the difference between a coyote and a flea? One howls ...

2026-07-16T14:37:04Z

What's the difference between a coyote and a flea? One howls on the prairie while the other prowls on the hairy.

Just accidentally put my donor card into the cash machine. It ...

2026-07-14T02:37:04Z

Just accidentally put my donor card into the cash machine.

It cost me an arm and a leg.

I am tired of sleeping on old magazines, but I do it for the back ...

2026-07-13T15:37:02Z

I am tired of sleeping on old magazines, but I do it for the back issues.

I think it's weird that we call childbirth delivery. It ...

2026-07-12T13:37:00Z

I think it's weird that we call childbirth delivery.

It should have been called takeout instead.

If you lose one sense, your other senses are enhanced. This is ...

2026-07-12T11:37:01Z

If you lose one sense, your other senses are enhanced.

This is why people with no sense of humor have a heightened sense of self-importance.

To this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes ...

2026-07-11T13:37:00Z

To this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money. On the plus side, he makes great Subway sandwiches.

Nostr event nevent1qqszuf2rf7w3m005hetxz2l24xk8fwquldhpvql003k389xfgv8jzxqzyznze7wncqelx5pgvlr684vq52u3fg7wsh0fxsvjwhux2pm8tpl6yg8p7tg

2026-07-10T17:37:00Z

Worf changed his hair color because it was a good day to dye.

Genie: You have three wishes. Me: Nice! I wish for pie. Genie: ...

2026-07-08T03:37:04Z

Genie: You have three wishes.
Me: Nice! I wish for pie.
Genie: Fine. You can have 3.14 wishes.

Nostr event nevent1qqsf7qw4jnptjthrn7hq58ln6cd0ykda7ffmyclfvnjqlp6m3wkrg5gzyznze7wncqelx5pgvlr684vq52u3fg7wsh0fxsvjwhux2pm8tpl6y9ydwef

2026-07-06T05:37:04Z

I just swapped our bed for a trampoline. My wife hit the roof.

I went to lunch with a champion chess player. It took him 8 ...

2026-07-05T22:37:01Z

I went to lunch with a champion chess player.
It took him 8 minutes to pass me the salt...

My wife asked me earlier, 'Are you even listening to me?' ...

2026-07-04T13:37:00Z

My wife asked me earlier, 'Are you even listening to me?'

Which is a really weird way to start a conversation...

I'm addicted to ordering hatchets from other countries ...

2026-07-04T04:37:00Z

I'm addicted to ordering hatchets from other countries because of the smell. I love foreign axe scents.

Doctor: Do you want to hear the good news or the bad news? Me: ...

2026-07-04T03:37:00Z

Doctor: Do you want to hear the good news or the bad news?

Me: Good news, please.

Doctor: We're naming a disease after you.

I'd never sign up to a human-cloning program. I don't ...

2026-07-03T18:37:00Z

I'd never sign up to a human-cloning program. I don't think I could live with myself.

I think my wife is putting glue on my antique weapons collection. ...

2026-07-03T13:37:00Z

I think my wife is putting glue on my antique weapons collection. She denies it, but I'm sticking to my guns.

I used to date a girl with one leg who worked at a brewery. She ...

2026-07-03T03:37:00Z

I used to date a girl with one leg who worked at a brewery. She was in charge of the hops.

I made a graph for my past relationships. It has an ex-axis and a ...

2026-07-02T16:37:00Z

I made a graph for my past relationships. It has an ex-axis and a why-axis.

I've just been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants. ...

2026-07-01T09:37:00Z

I've just been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants.

Fefiphobia.

Just spent 6 hours linking all my watches together to make a ...

2026-06-30T05:37:00Z

Just spent 6 hours linking all my watches together to make a belt...
...
Now I'm the man of the hour!

My wife didn't believe me when I said that I would give our ...

2026-06-28T21:37:00Z

My wife didn't believe me when I said that I would give our daughter a silly name. So I decided to call her Bluff.

Jokes about sausages are bad... but... Jokes about German ...

2026-06-27T19:37:00Z

Jokes about sausages are bad...

but...

Jokes about German sausages are the wurst!

Nostr event nevent1qqsfyj57tvz5m46p42026f2sch4vl785lda5ntxceugaufrdd95uz7qzyznze7wncqelx5pgvlr684vq52u3fg7wsh0fxsvjwhux2pm8tpl6y59xc2w

2026-06-27T10:37:00Z

I was accused of being a plagiarist. Their words, not mine.

Nostr event nevent1qqsruha38g9nhazh25wmrc073qtnddrf4td5nd3wnt0v6349kkkyexqzyznze7wncqelx5pgvlr684vq52u3fg7wsh0fxsvjwhux2pm8tpl6yuxel8q

2026-06-27T07:37:00Z

The rotation of the Earth really makes my day.

I just bought my son a flat piece of cardboard for Christmas. I ...

2026-06-27T05:37:00Z

I just bought my son a flat piece of cardboard for Christmas.

I have no idea why he wants an ex box.

To this day, Tiger Woods always brings an extra sock with him to ...

2026-06-27T04:37:00Z

To this day, Tiger Woods always brings an extra sock with him to his golf tournaments.

Just in case he gets a hole in one.

I'm developing a new fragrance for introverts. It's ...

2026-06-27T02:37:00Z

I'm developing a new fragrance for introverts.

It's called 'Leave Me the Fuh Cologne.'

Nostr event nevent1qqsx0fjpew0any8yuw7ffjlh2mek6xxwfh8dpkvjguvxcky70lg5hcgzyznze7wncqelx5pgvlr684vq52u3fg7wsh0fxsvjwhux2pm8tpl6yghkqm2

2026-06-24T18:37:00Z

Why are iPhone chargers not called Apple Juice?

As I looked at my naked body in the mirror, I thought to ...

2026-06-22T13:37:00Z

As I looked at my naked body in the mirror, I thought to myself...

I'm going to get thrown out of IKEA in a minute!