Nostr notes by Girl on the Net

"He’s taking control of one of the most basic things my ...

2026-08-30T08:13:58Z

"He’s taking control of one of the most basic things my body does – not by force or instruction, just by giving me permission to stop having to think about it. Follow his lead. I breathe in. Now out."

#ICYMI this week's NEW #AudioPorn https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/meditative-anal-breathe-for-me/

Golden rule of social media: if you reply to one of my jokes with ...

2026-08-27T18:40:07Z

Golden rule of social media: if you reply to one of my jokes with a YouTube link, I am never ever watching it.

haha nice way to put it!

2026-08-27T09:50:19Z

In reply to nevent1q…8myy
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haha nice way to put it!

NEW guest blog, by Phoenix Andrews 😍 I have never read ...

2026-08-27T09:09:02Z

NEW guest blog, by Phoenix Andrews 😍

I have never read anything that so perfectly encapsulates the true joy of sex.

"It’s a creative and collaborative act, as important as any art form or Olympic sport."

https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/totalising-fuck/

Have you ever had an audience to watch you orgasm? Today's ...

2026-08-24T14:46:40Z

Have you ever had an audience to watch you orgasm? Today's new #AudioPorn for Patreons involves some very public play. Courtesy of the fabulous Sundial (npub1n60…s00e)!

https://www.patreon.com/girlonthenet/posts/kikkas-public-by-167474279

“Until the birds start to sing and you have to go to bed, each ...

2026-08-24T14:21:39Z

“Until the birds start to sing and you have to go to bed, each fuck of this evening could conceivably be not-quite-the-last…”

#ICYMI yesterday’s blog

https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/the-last-time-you-ever-fuck-them/

Is it possible to fuck in a way that makes time stand still? NEW ...

2026-08-23T09:25:49Z

Is it possible to fuck in a way that makes time stand still?

NEW blog. Same old story.

https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/the-last-time-you-ever-fuck-them/ Gorgeous art by [@stuart_cb](https://mastodon.social/@stuart_cb ) 😍

yep

2026-08-21T12:41:43Z

In reply to nevent1q…tyh4
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yep

Perfect timing because I've just been recording an amazing ...

2026-08-21T12:19:57Z

Perfect timing because I've just been recording an amazing interview with her for Patreon - today's NEW #AudioPorn is by the incomparable Tabitha Rayne!

Come hear her sexy story about a savage fuck...

https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/a-savage-fuck/

Hi horny, I'm GOTN. ...

2026-08-20T11:34:22Z

Hi horny, I'm GOTN.

Patreons! NEW #AudioPorn for this week is by the fabulous ...

2026-08-18T19:07:52Z

Patreons! NEW #AudioPorn for this week is by the fabulous Jaimie's Erotica (npub1n7m…22sz) - and features a kinky, dominant (because those are the protocols) #SexRobot...

Read by me because I couldn't fucking resist this character.

https://www.patreon.com/girlonthenet/posts/in-love-with-new-166676597

he did comply, then made quite a big fuss about squeezing his ...

2026-08-18T12:47:36Z

In reply to nevent1q…vlx8
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he did comply, then made quite a big fuss about squeezing his legs behind the seat in front of him rather than sitting to the side. He was at least 8 inches shorter than me. The tantrum of it 😂

I did 😉

2026-08-18T12:28:36Z

In reply to nevent1q…p9c5
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I did 😉

Happy Tuesday to everyone except the guy on my very crowded ...

2026-08-18T12:25:46Z

Happy Tuesday to everyone except the guy on my very crowded commuter train this morning who had reserved a special precious seat for his... small pot of yoghurt and granola.

"The New York Toy Collective’s Trans Masc Pump has given me ...

2026-08-13T13:12:43Z

"The New York Toy Collective’s Trans Masc Pump has given me my first opportunity to wonder if a sex toy can be gender-affirming healthcare."

NEW guest blog! [@bright_helpings](https://mspsocial.net/@bright_helpings ) tests out the NYTC trans masc pump from The Pleasure Garden in this fabulously educational post!

https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/pump-sex-toy-gender-affirming/

Anyone fancy a bit of calm, meditative, soft-dom #anal with ...

2026-08-10T21:23:01Z

Anyone fancy a bit of calm, meditative, soft-dom #anal with plenty of praise and encouragement?

NEW #AudioPorn just went up on Patreon

https://www.patreon.com/girlonthenet/posts/meditative-anal-166033401

"I could take pity on him. Let my nurturing side win. Pause ...

2026-08-10T17:47:53Z

"I could take pity on him. Let my nurturing side win. Pause for a second and hold him inside until the torment passes and the storm clouds clear…

"…but I won’t do that, have you met me?"

😈

This time last year. https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/stop-or-ill-come/

"I kneel up as much as the give in my cuffs will allow, still ...

2026-08-09T20:28:13Z

"I kneel up as much as the give in my cuffs will allow, still staring my greed at his dick."

#ICYMI Sundial (npub1n60…s00e)'s INCREDIBLE #AudioPorn about being covered in cum. With fresh, hot art by [@stuart_cb](https://mastodon.social/@stuart_cb ) ❤️

https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/covered-in-cum-a-shower-room-fantasy/

"I let myself sulk and cry for a minute or two, and then turn ...

2026-08-09T18:18:19Z

"I let myself sulk and cry for a minute or two, and then turn round to look into the eyes of my infinitely patient girlfriend."

#ICYMI this week's gorgeously intimate guest blog about #sex and healing after #vaginoplasty

https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/newly-becunted-sex-healing-after-vaginoplasty/

One from the archive, in which I wrote a sex toy review in the ...

2026-08-08T19:58:57Z

One from the archive, in which I wrote a sex toy review in the form of #AudioPorn specifically designed to trigger the 'sound responsive' mode on a smart #SexToy to make you come...

https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/lovense-osci-fuck-you-with-words/

Yes, I am a nerd. And yes, this actually did work.

"He cops a casual feel of my tits, just plays with them and ...

2026-08-08T13:16:20Z

"He cops a casual feel of my tits, just plays with them and gropes them until he comes, painting my chin with his cum."

NEW #AudioPorn by the incomparable Sundial (npub1n60…s00e)! A very atmospheric retelling of a fantasy about gym showers and cum...

https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/covered-in-cum-a-shower-room-fantasy/

Isn't it gorgeous. Thank you so much for sharing! I love ...

2026-08-07T12:35:40Z

In reply to nevent1q…amey
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Isn't it gorgeous. Thank you so much for sharing! I love guest blogs that manage to be both sexy and insightful at the same time, and this one does it with so much warmth and tenderness too <3

"Having sex now, I feel marvellously present in myself, and ...

2026-08-07T11:51:31Z

"Having sex now, I feel marvellously present in myself, and present with her."

I'm always honoured that people share such personal stories on my blog, and this week's guest is especially tender and beautiful <3

Sex and healing after #vaginoplasty

https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/newly-becunted-sex-healing-after-vaginoplasty/

This time last year, I wrote about the significant harms of the ...

2026-08-06T20:47:57Z

This time last year, I wrote about the significant harms of the #OnlineSafetyAct. Depressing that things have got far worse since then.

https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/age-verification-whats-the-harm/

yeah we've had the first month on record (since the late 19th ...

2026-08-03T21:37:47Z

In reply to nevent1q…xq7f
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yeah we've had the first month on record (since the late 19th century) with no rainfall at all. It's not great https://www.londoncentric.media/p/londons-first-month-without-rain

Sorry my photos are so shit. The photos aren't really the ...

2026-08-03T21:18:54Z

In reply to nevent1q…arvc
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Sorry my photos are so shit. The photos aren't really the point, the point is to get out and explore the places we love and appreciate what's there.

Every time I do a silly little challenge in London, it makes me love the city even more. I'm sad so much of it is brown and dying in the heatwave, but I will continue to love all its best bits and broken bits and weird bits through all seasons.

I hope you love where you live too <3

FINAL park - number 23! St Paul's Gardens, Hammersmith. I ...

2026-08-03T21:16:08Z

In reply to nevent1q…24rw
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FINAL park - number 23! St Paul's Gardens, Hammersmith.

I know nothing about this park either, we only stopped on the way to the pub. But innit pretty through the fence?

Then we drank pints and congratulated ourselves - 23 parks in 4 hours! Feel so lucky to live in #London because it absolutely rocks.

Melissa Fehr (npub1nzz…9mpw) & Not The LBC Guy (npub176m…teej) hit 4 more parks on the way home and 1 before we met in the morning so their total is 28. And we've barely scratched the surface.

Brook Green! Cheeky quick stop to tick off an extra park in West ...

2026-08-03T21:12:10Z

In reply to nevent1q…v3dx
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Brook Green! Cheeky quick stop to tick off an extra park in West London. I know nothing about this, we were here for two seconds. But it takes our park tally to 22 which is nice.

Holland Park! Worth a visit especially cos the Design Museum is ...

2026-08-03T21:08:47Z

In reply to nevent1q…laal
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Holland Park! Worth a visit especially cos the Design Museum is at the bottom of the hill here. Free entry (once again New York may eat my entire ass).

Lovely hill to ride down on your bike going 'whee' if they hadn't banned cycling in the park (boo). We discovered a really lovely quiet sensory garden on the south west side which looks super chill and pretty. Should have taken a picture of that rather than this rubbish one, but I am who I am.

Kensington Gardens. Again, very busy so I couldn't take an ...

2026-08-03T21:03:53Z

In reply to nevent1q…eumc
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Kensington Gardens. Again, very busy so I couldn't take an anon photo, but here's a pic of the pretty little decals for the Princess Di Memorial Walk.

Fun tip when you're in London, you will often see signs for various walks, or icons on the ground denoting a particular trail: why not follow one or two and see what's what?

(Note some of these trails will be upwards of 50 miles long so don't overcommit)

- St James's Park. See above for squirrel tips as there are ...

2026-08-03T21:00:44Z

In reply to nevent1q…73dl
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- St James's Park. See above for squirrel tips as there are lots of 'em here too. Very touristy, but (like all the parks near Buckingham Palace) there is often a higher-than-normal chance of seeing a horse.

- Green Park. (Ditto horses). Has a lovely smooth beautiful cycle path that runs up the side towards Hyde Park.

- Hyde Park. If you get here from Green Park on a bike, you get to swoop across the junction and through the arch if it's not too busy, and that is very fun.

Next ones are OBVIOUS and there's a run of a few parks all at ...

2026-08-03T20:58:38Z

In reply to nevent1q…r5vm
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Next ones are OBVIOUS and there's a run of a few parks all at once - I couldn't make these photos anon cos they were too busy, so I'm just giving you the text description:

- Parliament Square. Maybe technically a park but more often a gathering place for tourists who will crash into you because they're too busy looking at Big Ben to watch where they're going, and protesters who I make a point of either cheering or booing depending on what they're saying.

Jubilee Gardens! Hard to take a photo without including people, ...

2026-08-03T20:55:41Z

In reply to nevent1q…sydx
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Jubilee Gardens! Hard to take a photo without including people, so I looked up to the London Eye instead. Ludicrously touristy, they will absolutely shaft you for ice cream, or for toilets (I think toilets near here are either 50p or even an actual quid).

BUT if you want to sit by the river drinking cans, I've never had anyone hold me to the 'no alcohol' rule, and if you bring monkey nuts you can befriend the squirrels and get them to eat out of your hand like you're a Disney Princess.

Next we dipped south of the river to tick off a couple of parks ...

2026-08-03T20:53:05Z

In reply to nevent1q…zas5
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Next we dipped south of the river to tick off a couple of parks near Waterloo. The map tells me these are called Bernie Spain Gardens but I have never referred to them by name before so I'm suspicious. This is 'the park that's near the National Theatre that is a bit less hectic and touristy than Jubilee Gardens' if I'm meeting someone there.

Lincoln's Inn Fields! THE park to hang out in on a weekday if ...

2026-08-03T20:49:14Z

In reply to nevent1q…z433
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Lincoln's Inn Fields! THE park to hang out in on a weekday if you want to meet and marry a sexy barrister (it's slap bang in the middle of all the chambers).

Also has a few really excellent museums nearby
- the Hunterian Collection (weird dead shit)
- Sir John Soanes Museum (cool art + architectural shit)
- Novelty Automation Museum (absolutely batshit coin-operated machines - INCREDIBLE first date location, thank me later)

Another dinky little one: Smithfield Rotunda Garden. Little ...

2026-08-03T20:45:55Z

In reply to nevent1q…dhh5
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Another dinky little one: Smithfield Rotunda Garden. Little memorial in the middle, benches round the outside, right next to Smithfield market if you want to buy a load of meat. Please don't barbecue it though, for all the reasons that should be obvious from how dry all the grass is.

Next, one of my favourite London parks and if you've not been ...

2026-08-03T20:41:54Z

In reply to nevent1q…e4ea
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Next, one of my favourite London parks and if you've not been here you're missing out: Postman's Park. Has this incredible memorial wall with tiles that tell little stories about people who died saving the lives of others.

I just googled and there are PODCASTS about the heroes who feature here omg exciting.

Pop along if you're in central, read some stories if you like that sort of thing.
https://www.postmanspark.org.uk/

Couple of pretty special parks coming up, team, so get ready to ...

2026-08-03T20:37:17Z

In reply to nevent1q…nm3u
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Couple of pretty special parks coming up, team, so get ready to be wowed.

This is St Dunstan's in the East, a tiny little park that's growing in the ruins (actually, very well-preserved remains) of an old church. It got burnt in the Great Fire of London, then bombed during the blitz, but it lives on and provides shady chill during a heatwave and something for the pretty plants to grow up.

Aldgate Square on the doorstep of the City of London. Not much to ...

2026-08-03T20:33:26Z

In reply to nevent1q…67ua
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Aldgate Square on the doorstep of the City of London. Not much to write home about except the temptingly jump-in-able fountains. One day I hope to go there in a business suit at lunchtime when all the Finance Boys are hanging around eating their sandwiches, and jump in the fountains like a city lawyer who has finally had enough of the grind.

We've only travelled within a 4 mile radius so far and ...

2026-08-03T20:29:03Z

In reply to nevent1q…cszk
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We've only travelled within a 4 mile radius so far and already hit a LOT of parks. We missed out TONNES because at some point you've gotta just ride your bike. So we whizzed down to the CS2 through Whitechapel to Altab Ali park, where someone had been kind enough to set up a combined drink station slash bath for the pigeons.

Weaver's Fields near Bethnal Green was hard to get a pic ...

2026-08-03T20:25:18Z

In reply to nevent1q…v9yq
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Weaver's Fields near Bethnal Green was hard to get a pic without people in, but there WAS a Deliveroo rider just out of shot so it's important for me to stress that if you go to any of these parks you can usually order takeaway to a map pin. Because #London does not fuck about.

I don't personally like takeaway much, but I have often been surprised/amazed that this is possible. What a world.

Whatever you do, though, do NOT have a barbecue - this shit is a tinder box.

Next up: the deeply underrated Haggerston Park. Has a lovely ...

2026-08-03T20:21:25Z

In reply to nevent1q…4tj9
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Next up: the deeply underrated Haggerston Park. Has a lovely walled garden which is good on a windy day. Also home of Hackney City Farm (yeah, London has farms, I don't know why but I love that), and a really good playground if you have children or are one.

Bonus: toilets. And even though all the parks are brown as fuck right now, some green-fingered miracle wizard has kept Haggerston's roses alive.

Why are these parks empty? They weren't, I just very ...

2026-08-03T20:18:19Z

In reply to nevent1q…q9rd
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Why are these parks empty? They weren't, I just very carefully picked my angle to avoid including people (unless they were at a distance). I hope this corvid doesn't have privacy concerns though.

ANYWAY. This is London Fields and it absolutely ROCKS. I was there on Friday night and a man sold us rum cocktail slushies from an ice box, another man offered us weed and shrooms, and it was a lovely chill party evening. Sit by Pub on the Park if you want the drugs/drink offers. Elsewhere for chill.

Just north of Victoria park is Well Street Common - very similar ...

2026-08-03T20:15:16Z

In reply to nevent1q…t0g6
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Just north of Victoria park is Well Street Common - very similar in look and vibe, but usually a bit quieter than the big place. Good for serious conversations over cans of gin and tonic, or for rolling a spliff where no one will see.

So far all these parks have been within about 1 mile of each other. We've barely even started on the park crawl. Eat my #London-loving ass, New York.

Wouldn't be East London without Victoria Park, but holy fuck ...

2026-08-03T20:12:55Z

In reply to nevent1q…5xdw
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Wouldn't be East London without Victoria Park, but holy fuck it's so brown and dry at the moment.

Vicky park is one of the best for watching cricket, splashing about with kids (it has a great set of fountains), and drinking (People's Park Tavern is nice, if a little too busy a lot of the time).

Most importantly, you can cycle laps around it on mostly smooth, wide paths.

Next up: Olympic park! One of my faves because it has KINGFISHERS ...

2026-08-03T20:10:06Z

In reply to nevent1q…2jhf
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Next up: Olympic park! One of my faves because it has KINGFISHERS and BATS and exquisitely brilliant chill evening vibes if you like smoking weed by the river.

If you're a cyclist, the big wide bridges are excellent for riding across while going 'wheeeeee'

Went on a lovely bike ride yesterday with @npub1nzz…9mpw and ...

2026-08-03T20:07:50Z

Went on a lovely bike ride yesterday with Melissa Fehr (npub1nzz…9mpw) and Not The LBC Guy (npub176m…teej) and I thoroughly recommend This Sort Of Thing if you like cycling, London and parks. Because our aim was to ride East to West across the city hitting up as many parks as we could on the way.

Mute this thread if it isn't your sort of thing, but if it IS your sort of thing, let's go!

Starting point: Mile End park. Not much to write home about unless you're a German bomber in 1944, but a great place to meet.

wanders onto the timeline in a sexy butler outfit *places fancy ...

2026-08-02T08:54:44Z

*wanders onto the timeline in a sexy butler outfit*
*places fancy plate down in front of you*
*removes cloche from plate*

Here is your Sunday morning porn. Fresh and hot.

https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/confess-1-gang-bang-in-a-bar/

I think also I'm gonna apologise to Patreons because I am so ...

2026-07-31T13:44:59Z

In reply to nevent1q…ep43
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I think also I'm gonna apologise to Patreons because I am so utterly wrecked that I won't manage to finish this month's update before the weekend. I have a full day tomorrow at my desk so I'll get it done then. Apologies. I bit off more than I could chew this week =(

Continuing this week's accidental theme of 'TITS', ...

2026-07-31T13:43:58Z

Continuing this week's accidental theme of 'TITS', here's today's new #AudioPorn

https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/what-it-feels-like-to-have-tits/

It's not that porny but it IS quite fun.

"Now I can be perceived, I can see tits everywhere. Want ...

2026-07-30T11:47:26Z

"Now I can be perceived, I can see tits everywhere. Want them. Touch them. Long for them."

Stunning NEW guest blog by Dr Phoenix Andrews!
😍
https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/top-surgery-tit-man/

I was meant to do something today at a very specific time. I ...

2026-07-29T14:35:38Z

I was meant to do something today at a very specific time. I turned up at that specific time and the people were like 'oh no sorry, can't do today - come back tomorrow?' but like... THEY had arranged the time and THEY had told me when to come, and then when I arrived they acted like I was being weird.

I find this really distressing. Like... why not just text me or call me and tell me you need to change the time? Two hours on hot buses which I could have spent working =(

Stop commenting on porn to tell me it isn't to your tastes!! ...

2026-07-29T12:22:33Z

Stop commenting on porn to tell me it isn't to your tastes!!

NOT ALL PORN IS FOR YOU OMG.

I covered this in 2015 why hasn't everyone learned it by now.

https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/not-all-porn-is-for-you/

Even better if it's both. I am 100% with you on this btw. ...

2026-07-28T20:09:38Z

In reply to nevent1q…ugqc
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Even better if it's both.

I am 100% with you on this btw. Hawaiian pizza is genuinely nice, it is the only situation in life where I will accept a mix of sweet and savoury.

If it was #payday for you recently, there's incredible guest ...

2026-07-28T19:29:26Z

In reply to nevent1q…n2u8
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If it was #payday for you recently, there's incredible guest smut on Patreon right now. PLUS I'll be reading a v gd (I think) heartbreak/fucky piece in the monthly update this wk. Now's a good time to join:

https://www.patreon.com/girlonthenet

Chuck your third favourite sex blogger two quid or sthing.

NEW #AudioPorn for Patreons! Stunning new story from Tabitha ...

2026-07-28T19:27:01Z

NEW #AudioPorn for Patreons!

Stunning new story from Tabitha Rayne, read by the author herself with some sublime longing and intense fucking...

"My cunt yearned for his touch and I followed."

https://www.patreon.com/girlonthenet/posts/savage-fuck-new-165100379

People who can fuck off: the ones who insist we get pizza then ...

2026-07-28T19:14:50Z

People who can fuck off: the ones who insist we get pizza then want a pizza that’s covered in meat. If you wanted meat, you should have suggested burgers. Pizza is a cheese-based food. The cheese should be the dominant force.

NEW guest blog! The fabulous Synonymph would like to address ...

2026-07-23T08:49:32Z

NEW guest blog! The fabulous Synonymph would like to address cisgender men who have apparently been taking sex advice from early noughties pickup artists...

https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/stop-putting-my-hand-on-your-boner/

#advice #consent

While I'm here, can I ask you a favour? If you're ...

2026-07-22T18:01:04Z

While I'm here, can I ask you a favour? If you're followed by anyone who writes smut, please could you share this post? Commissions (PAID, OF COURSE) for the next round of 'turning smut you've already written into lovely, wankable, accessible audio'.

Would love to hear from some new writers! https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/call-for-submissions-want-to-turn-your-smut-into-audio-porn/

The problem is not 'offense', it is 'harm'. If ...

2026-07-20T20:32:04Z

In reply to nevent1q…s73s
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The problem is not 'offense', it is 'harm'.

If the word 'cisgender' was genuinely harmful to people, then I would reconsider using it. But it isn't harmful, it's a neat and simple way to explain what I mean when I talk about my own body and gender identity.

https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/offence-is-not-taken-assigned/

Right-wing people always think that 'offensive' is what ...

2026-07-20T20:30:10Z

Right-wing people always think that 'offensive' is what we care about. As if 'offensive' is some magic word to get us to stop doing whatever it is that's pissing them off.

So proud of the #AudioPorn project rn - gorgeous, hot work from ...

2026-07-19T07:42:46Z

So proud of the #AudioPorn project rn - gorgeous, hot work from Jaimie's Erotica (npub1n7m…22sz), Nympho Stim Toy (npub1fun…cael), Spen Pritchard, Sundial (npub1n60…s00e) + readings by Tabitha Rayne and Molly (npub14u4…97t2)

Check it out free here: https://www.girlonthenet.com/audio
😍
Get bonuses & early access to new stuff while supporting the project at https://www.patreon.com/girlonthenet

“You’re doing so well. Just two more.” This time last year, ...

2026-07-18T21:42:45Z

“You’re doing so well. Just two more.”

This time last year, Focused and Filthy (npub1qje…g45n) shared this stunning guest blog about being tied and given multiple #orgasms. And it's even now available as #AudioPorn read by the author herself ;-) https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/tied-multiple-orgasms/

"I want to feel every inch of you with my whole cunt, while ...

2026-07-17T21:42:15Z

"I want to feel every inch of you with my whole cunt, while you watch me sucking him off."

This time last year, Sundial (npub1n60…s00e) shared the outrageously hot second part of her Sunday series...

https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/sunday-1-mouth-cunt-full-cock/

"It would be the most incredible adventure in understanding ...

2026-07-10T10:56:27Z

"It would be the most incredible adventure in understanding each other, wouldn’t it? Like answering the question of whether we both experience the colour ‘blue’ in the same way, but with sensations far more fun than pure visuals."

NEW #AudioPorn - body swap #erotica. If I had his dick and he had my cunt...

https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/body-swap-your-dick-my-cunt/

“Are you a dirty fucker?” he asked. “Yes sir,” I replied ...

2026-07-09T11:53:47Z

“Are you a dirty fucker?” he asked.
“Yes sir,” I replied instantly.

Horny people! Stop what you're doing immediately and read this incredible NEW guest post by Dr Jamiebear’s alt 𓂺 (npub1wce…nnr7)

#spanking #gay #cum
https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/dirty-fucker/

"Let me bury my face in the crook of your neck and close my ...

2026-07-09T10:43:23Z

"Let me bury my face in the crook of your neck and close my eyes and track your heartbeat. "

Gorgeous guest piece from the archive on #kissing, by mudkri - with #AudioPorn https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/kiss-me/

"You took my real human emotions and fed them into a machine ...

2026-07-06T14:46:23Z

"You took my real human emotions and fed them into a machine which spat back slop in the hope of tricking me into thinking that I had genuinely touched someone’s heart?"

This time last year: fuck #AI, especially in #porn

https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/please-dont-use-ai-write-porn/

Accidentally bought a sex toy on the company card rather than my ...

2026-07-04T13:52:31Z

Accidentally bought a sex toy on the company card rather than my card so now I will have to write a post about it on the off chance that HMRC ever gives a shit.

When I was young I didn’t really study for exams because I was ...

2026-07-02T13:48:44Z

In reply to nevent1q…02w2
_________________________

When I was young I didn’t really study for exams because I was just quite good at remembering stuff and being a smug bullshitter. Now that I have exams as a GROWN UP and my memory isn’t as good, all my exam chickens are coming home to roost. And shit all over me.

I am STUDYING for my EXAM even though it is HARD and BORING ...

2026-07-02T13:47:24Z

I am STUDYING for my EXAM even though it is HARD and BORING please clap.

"I’ve never felt the magic of rope before but I’ve read ...

2026-07-02T12:14:00Z

"I’ve never felt the magic of rope before but I’ve read about it, dreamed and fantasised and we’ve talked about it so many times before."

Fabulous NEW guest blog by LM, featuring #rope #bondage as well as 'bear claws' which I had to look up and which look deliciously, kinkily intimidating...

https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/bear-claws-rope/

haha if someone sends me some that's wankable I will ...

2026-07-01T13:19:05Z

In reply to nevent1q…dz9p
_________________________

haha if someone sends me some that's wankable I will definitely consider it!

If you ever visit my audio page and think 'argh why does she ...

2026-07-01T11:11:32Z

In reply to nevent1q…w0qy
_________________________

If you ever visit my audio page and think 'argh why does she never publish anything about [TOPIC]?' or 'why does she never have any contributors who [WHATEVER YOUR KINK OF CHOICE IS]?' then now's the time to contact me or SHARE the post with people you know who write the kind of stuff you wanna hear.

THANK YOU.

Here's another thing that just went live: call for ...

2026-07-01T11:10:20Z

Here's another thing that just went live: call for submissions! Got sex stories/blogs/erotica that you'd like to hear turned into #AudioPorn?

HIT ME UP

https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/call-for-submissions-want-to-turn-your-smut-into-audio-porn/

Did you know that the things you interact with positively ...

2026-06-28T22:40:41Z

Did you know that the things you interact with positively throughout your life give the angels a template from which to build your perfect afterlife?

It’s true. So you should boost posts with porn in as often as possible or you won’t be able to wank when you get to heaven.

"Stopping me in the hallway, making me face the wall and arch ...

2026-06-28T12:30:43Z

"Stopping me in the hallway, making me face the wall and arch my back, yanking down my shorts and knickers then roughly lubing me up to get fucked in the ass."

NEW blog: a horny heatwave daydream with incredibly sexy art by [@stuart_cb](https://mastodon.social/@stuart_cb )

https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/roughly-lubing-me-up/

yessss!!! I LOVE Mail Rail! Such a cool tiny train! ❤️

2026-06-28T12:23:04Z

In reply to nevent1q…xqnt
_________________________

yessss!!! I LOVE Mail Rail! Such a cool tiny train! ❤️

Ok so the heat sucks but I’m LOVING being woken up by ...

2026-06-27T09:06:28Z

Ok so the heat sucks but I’m LOVING being woken up by shuddering thunder and huge bright lightning at 3 in the morning. Cacophony, downpour and drama while I lie all soft and naked inside feeling grateful for the rain. ❤️

Thanks for the offer, but this will definitely get me punched. ...

2026-06-26T17:08:05Z

Thanks for the offer, but this will definitely get me punched.

https://closca.com/en-gb/products/loop-lab-civic

"You’re all freshly showered, hair dripping, little ...

2026-06-26T09:35:21Z

"You’re all freshly showered, hair dripping, little rivulets running down over your naked skin to soak into the loosely laced corset..."

Stunning NEW #AudioPorn by Sundial (npub1n60…s00e)! Put yourself in the story...

https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/corsets-and-a-tease-youre-so-damned-enticing/

People, I am begging you, if you have air con in your flat please ...

2026-06-24T14:29:05Z

People, I am begging you, if you have air con in your flat please PUT IT ON YOUR DATING PROFILE.

Once a year, when it gets too hot, I have* to repost this. Today ...

2026-06-24T11:00:08Z

Once a year, when it gets too hot, I have* to repost this.

Today is obviously that day.

CN: I did actually fuck the ice lolly.

https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/ice-lolly-in-my-vagina/

*want

Much as I love football I have to respect the nerdcore vibes of ...

2026-06-23T21:39:05Z

Much as I love football I have to respect the nerdcore vibes of Mastodon. England are playing in the World Cup and I can’t see a single mention of it on the TL.

Football: 0
Linux: a million

Anyway. Although my writing has been patchy lately, I'm solid ...

2026-06-22T09:21:54Z

Anyway. Although my writing has been patchy lately, I'm solid on the #AudioPorn front, and I've just put this new piece live over on Patreon:

https://www.patreon.com/girlonthenet/posts/body-swap-new-by-161518076

Possibly one of the most enthusiastic and horny readings I've ever done. All about how I'd fuck him if we could swap bodies.

Cycled 90 mins in the hot-hot rush hour yesterday, then back home ...

2026-06-20T13:56:40Z

Cycled 90 mins in the hot-hot rush hour yesterday, then back home this morning in my still-gopping kit.

I might disgust *myself* but I’m a sweat fetishist’s wet dream right now.

Sad feelings are a part of life - as important a part as the ...

2026-06-18T12:20:06Z

Sad feelings are a part of life - as important a part as the happy ones. Please don't try to advise them out of existence.

(this time last year)
https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/i-dont-need-advice-on-feelings/

Yet another reason to give blood: the man at the donor centre ...

2026-06-17T11:58:43Z

Yet another reason to give blood: the man at the donor centre just told me my iron levels were ‘perfect’ - I’ve been having a bad few days so the validation of this was exactly what I needed. Yes, I am pathetic and worthless.

BUT at least my iron levels are perfect so maybe someone else can use some of my iron-y blood.

Https://www.blood.co.uk

Riding home today and some disgusting fucker on the bike in front ...

2026-06-15T20:31:36Z

Riding home today and some disgusting fucker on the bike in front spat over his shoulder directly into my face. What the fuck is wrong with people.

I am so wildly in love with #London at the moment ❤️ Rode my ...

2026-06-13T16:50:10Z

I am so wildly in love with #London at the moment ❤️

Rode my bike into work early this morning along quiet main roads, then took a meandering route back home through the prettiest parks. Now sitting in my favourite park with cans, enjoying the buzz of summer. This city is such a sexy beautiful place❤️❤️❤️

Quick test: do you understand what I mean here when I talk about ...

2026-06-11T09:01:01Z

Quick test: do you understand what I mean here when I talk about 'headline' fucks versus 'support act' fucks?

You’re not gonna get me like that. NEW blog. ...

2026-06-07T10:06:37Z

You’re not gonna get me like that.

NEW blog.

https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/youre-not-gonna-get-me-like-that/

Huge thanks to [@stuart_cb](https://mastodon.social/@stuart_cb ) for perfectly pitched art ❤️

I'm not angry or bitter or anything I just think... you ...

2026-06-06T18:52:12Z

I'm not angry or bitter or anything I just think... you know... adult or not... if I've carried all the food and chairs to a kid's birthday party... then I deserve a party bag too.

Usually today is new guest blog day, but instead you're ...

2026-06-04T12:38:36Z

Usually today is new guest blog day, but instead you're getting a guest blog from... me. The 'me' that exists when I'm not being a sex blogger.

Here's a very long and incredibly meandering blog post about my recent Big Bike Trip - the route, the kit, some tips, accommodation, costs and a selection of my favourite cycle paths.

https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/how-to-cycle-london-to-budapest/

“If I can resurrect people, I’m going to optimise for saving ...

2026-06-01T23:45:15Z

In reply to nevent1q…mkma
_________________________

“If I can resurrect people, I’m going to optimise for saving lives.”
😂🥰

Me: OK construct your ideal gig: two support acts and a ...

2026-06-01T23:44:41Z

Me: OK construct your ideal gig: two support acts and a headliner. You can resurrect dead musicians/bands if you like.

Him: I can resurrect people? Right, first support act... the orchestra off The Titanic.

Today’s NEW blog! One weird trick to guarantee EVERYONE a ...

2026-05-31T07:07:01Z

Today’s NEW blog! One weird trick to guarantee EVERYONE a better sex life:

https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/one-simple-trick-better-sex-life/

Shameless clickbait for my even more shameless lefty propaganda.

Ingenious art by [@stuart_cb](https://mastodon.social/@stuart_cb )

Friday is NEW #AudioPorn day! And today's is one from the ...

2026-05-29T13:23:27Z

Friday is NEW #AudioPorn day! And today's is one from the archives about something I absolutely fucking love...

https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/suck-my-tits/

Share if you like it, and take this as an excuse to ask the person you're fucking whether they'd like you to suck their nipples more.

"Years ago, when we first got together, I gave my Daddy ...

2026-05-28T19:03:50Z

"Years ago, when we first got together, I gave my Daddy permission to gaslight me to her heart’s content..."

NEW guest blog by Jenby, who is the absolute queen of kinking the darkness...

https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/gaslighting-as-kink/ #kink #gaslighting

Stages of hanging out with children: - they’re so cute! - omg ...

2026-05-26T19:07:26Z

Stages of hanging out with children:
- they’re so cute!
- omg they love me!
- I’m Maria Von Trapp!
- someone please kill me