estrogenandspite on Nostr: Okay so I think this story might help some people so I’m gonna share it here. So ...

Okay so I think this story might help some people so I’m gonna share it here.

So when I was trying to decide if I was going to take HRT, my big fear was that I would be ugly. And people kept telling me “no, no, you’ll be beautiful” but it always felt so fake to my traumatized brain.

And then I said it to the right person. And this guy, he looked me dead in the eyes and said with absolute sincerity “My dude, you’re already ugly. At least you’d be a woman.”

I scheduled the HRT appointment the next day, and was on estrogen 2 weeks later.

Sure, I get now that I always was a woman and that being attractive isn’t the point of transition or the point of womanhood. But that’s not what I was trying to say with “what if I’m ugly?” What I realize now is that what I was trying to say was “what if things just get worse?”

And that friend, in an admittedly brutal way, heard what I was really asking and said “They’ll get better in at least one way.”

And they did get better.

And I am happier.

And that’s what matters.