Friend: seriously, you should use your journalism background to get the inside scoop on the rich, it could be fantastic for your research!
Me: and just exactly how would I propose that. Write, “hi, my name is Robert Kingett. I'm a blind and gay Romance author. One of the Romance genres I pen is billionaire Romance, but I have a tiny request. I’d need to live in your mansion as well as eat any food your private chef creates for a year. For research, you know. I’d also need uninhibited access to your private jet because I will have hot and steamy sex scenes that take place inside of a private jet. Lastly, this research is most critical. I'll need to get an up-close look at how you exploit all your workers and loved ones just so I can make the Romantic tension and commentary on class as authentically as possible before the hot sex happens. May I speak to your people about this stunning opportunity? If you'd like your name to be the romantic lead, I must always accompany you, even to the bathroom. I must shag you on your plush bed at least 30 times, and I must witness all the ways you continue to always do ghastly things to the planet and to workers. Nothing can ever be secret because I need to write the most authentic billionaire Romance possible.
Friend: actually, that's perfect! Do that.
We sent an edited, but far more detailed, letter to billionaire’s houses via snail mail. If my name appears in a restraining order media scoop, you know why.
Robert Kingett
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2026-05-19 03:47:06 UTC
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