ティージェーグレェ on Nostr: Chillits was: mostly chill. However, I found myself starting to cough by mid ...

Chillits was: mostly chill. However, I found myself starting to cough by mid afternoon on Monday, and by Tuesday had a fever going full tilt and have been mostly bed ridden all week.

The fever has subsided, I am still coughing and sniffling.

More annoying (and costly in ways that I can't really afford to be wasteful with given my meager financial realities and profound debts): the VIP tickets I had to see The Tear Garden on Tuesday and Chelsea Wolfe went unused. ;(

I also missed Diavol Strain in SF last night, yet at least I hadn't purchased tickets for that show (and there's maybe a chance they're performing at the Ruby Room in Oakland tonight? I dunno, online information for businesses which only have IG pages instead of websites is dubious at best, and I am still coughing and not particularly likely to want to risk being around others in close proximity; particularly as I have work tomorrow morning).

I cannot overstate how much I despise being sick.

I have a lot of things going wrong for me in this hellish human existence, to understate it. However, some say: "health is wealth" and though I may have thousands in credit card debts, am contending with homelessness, work two jobs, find myself way below the poverty line, have not seen nor communicated with my progeny in years, and myriad other maladies? At least, a lot of the time I am grateful that I at least seem to be relatively healthy.

When that small sliver of a bright side is not something I can acknowledge as being true? When I find myself missing shifts and in such a fever delirium that I didn't even remember correctly when I had rescheduled myself, thus causing confusion to a volunteer at one of my jobs? I do not have the words to express how awful everything else feels in a compounded manner.

I am no expert in contagion. I left Chillits early afternoon on Sunday; maybe it was the smokers outside The Box in Santa Cruz on Sunday evening? Maybe it was food poisoning on Monday afternoon? I was feeling OK until shortly after that meal. Despite spending over an hour at my storage unit re-organizing things that sorely needed doing since there had been an avalanche/collapse of stuff after what appears as if yet another plastic storage bin broke.

Apparently, I am at the point in my existence where: cardboard boxes ceased to be sufficient protection for my meager material possessions, decades ago, requiring plastic storage bins, and now: plastic storage bins are insufficient protection for my meager material possessions, so I guess I will endeavor to research more stainless steel enclosures. Thankfully, for vinyl, after years and years, I have begun to find some preferences from specific manufacturers; they are not cheap, yet some of the vinyl I own (singular), is more expensive new, than just one such container.

I am at a loss for what I may need to invest in as far as more generic stainless steel storage containers to replace the continually breaking plastic storage bins. That will require more research and doubtlessly more money than I can easily budget.

If you live in the USA, maybe this is unsurprising. If you live outside of the USA, it probably seems stupid. Yes, I agree, it is very stupid to exist within a country which has had fewer years of peace in its entire 250 year history, than my own son has been alive. Alas, I have already attempted: unsuccessfully, to expatriate.

Failing that, I guess since I am at war, as an unwilling noncombatant, I will continue to endeavor to protect myself and my material belongings as best I am able, and contend with future failures as I encounter them, just as I have had to contend with countless past failures.

It would be awesome, if I didn't have to contend with inordinate amounts of unmitigated bullshit.

Alas, there is nothing about this material existence which seems particularly awesome.