The Witchy Bitches on Nostr: There are currently 2 emails sitting in my inbox neither of which I have answered ...

There are currently 2 emails sitting in my inbox neither of which I have answered because I don't know how. One of them is asking for a recipe. the other is asking for step by step dog training tips for a behavior. I am having the same trouble answering both. This is because I don't think in words or language. This is a skill I've had to develop over time because most people have an inner monologue going in their head. Words are everywhere. I don't think in words I think in ... visualizations i guess? How do I have the words to explain not thinking in words.. lol. Yes I'm Deafblind but I still visualize. Right now for example in my mind I could walk through one of the high schools where I teach and i could feel the textures under my feet, the smells in the area, the air currents against my skin, vibrations, what little I can actually see mostly blurry nonsense... But if I am thinking about going to work I don't think OK I need to go to work I will instead be in that place in my mind. I have had to learn to find the language to express my thoughts. I have learned that people expect this and honestly I think thats why I find people, even people I love exhausting. Because I have to do language when we are together, and before I can do language I have to think about what i want to say and change it from the way it appears in my mind and find words that explain it.
This is exhausting, and one of the ways I refill my battery is to spend time, a LOT of time, alone doing restorative things. Cooking, dog training, making candles or lotion, working in the garden, even folding laundry. I don't have to have words for any of this. During these times I get a break from words and language. When I make cookies, I go by feel, taste, smell, and weight. I can make you a pumpkin pecan cheesecake but I'm not going to be able to give you a recipe because recipes are words, and when I'm in the kitchen i have left my words behind. So I literally don't know. I would need to sit down, recreate the experience of cooking the cheesecake in my mind and take notes and even then I'm not going to have a traditional recipe because i don't measure anything. I can tell you oh it took maybe 3 ish 8 ounce cups of flour because I have a cup I like to use and I know it holds 8 oz. It's not a measuring cup in the standard sense. I use it to scoop the flour out of the bin. I don't use it to measure.
It's the same thing with dog training. Dogs don't use words, they communicate with their bodies and I can't see that but they know i can't so they find ways to communicate tactilely with me. I know my dogs better than most people know their animals. this is another area where the words are left at a door. So again if you're going to ask me for advice I'm going to need to sit down, think about it, take notes and hope I can find the words to sum up an experience which, for me is absolutely lacking in typical language.
And even explaining this concept to people is hard because ... it's more words to describe my lack of words
Weirdly I enjoy words going in, aka reading... I find it relaxing because i have a very vivid imagination and am very good at visualizing. I can travel to all kinds of places in my mind through words.
Now that I've written this whole thing i guess I should go try and figure out how to explain to these people about sound alerts and rhubarb pie..