Maternal abuse is far more prevalent in the U.S. than paternal abuse. This includes sexual abuse. Women are more likely to molest their own children (particularly their daughters) then men are. This started with the boomers, who seriously screwed up both GenXers and millennials. This goes unreported because the justice system is primed to assume fathers are abusive and mothers are innocent victims of their husbands.
Read WILL I EVER BE GOOD ENOUGH? by Karyl McBride. Narcissistic mothering is an epidemic. Narcissistic mothers will undermine their sons by trying to sabotage their romantic relationships, but they will outright cripple their daughters by refusing to view them as autonomous individuals, instead treating them as extensions of themselves.
The most screwed-up women I've ever known actually loved their fathers very much and either hated their mothers or their mothers were absent (such as dying when they were young). Narcissistic witch mothers psychologically torment their daughters, making them clap like seals for approval (which they never give), cutting them down verbally, physically abusing them, and sometimes sexually abusing them. The daughter responds to this abuse by clinging to her father for protection, which never comes because he's absent due to divorce, doesn't know what mom is doing, or is turning a blind eye to keep the family together. Her future relationships are defined by this trauma; she clings to men as a metaphorical father to protect her from her evil mother, idealizes said men, and ultimately grows to hate them because they fail to live up to the fantasy in her mind. This is TEXTBOOK borderline personality disorder. An ex of mine, whenever she was drunk, would whipsaw between literally clinging to me in a vice-like hug or running away thinking I was her mom and was going to hit her. She was molested by her mom, but she always said her mom "fucked" her. Not raped, not molested, but "fucked." One of the most disturbing tics I've ever seen in a person.
I also believe that this maternal abuse has a role in turning women lesbian/bi, in the same way that molestation turns men gay. It creates a weird tension in them where they're attracted to women who resemble their mothers physically or psychologically---an ex of mine told me straight up she was into women with big tits because of how her mother molested her---while simultaneously fearing them. These are the kinds of women who hate being around other women and prefer men as friends. Patricia Highsmith is the archetype of this kind of abused woman; a lesbian who hated women and who was known for unstable, violent relationships and increasingly antisocial behavior (she was known for doing things at parties like setting her own hair on fire and throwing dead rats at people). Yes, that means pick-mes were likely raped (either literally or metaphorically) by their own moms.
I think the epidemic of BPD among young women is a direct result of boomer parenting. Boomer women saw their daughters as either competitors for male attention or literal extensions of themselves. Boomer men were too spineless to defend their own daughters from their wives' abuse. And now we're living in the ashen glow of the behavioral nuke that boomer women dropped on society.
"Radfems" ALMOST have it right when they talk about the "mother wound." Where they err is blaming da patriarchy for the fact that their moms would sneak into their bedrooms when they were 12 and lick them out claiming they were "dirty." No, your mom wasn't being manipulated by the Protocols of the Learned Elders of NO MA'AM into abusing you. She was a rotten bitch who thought you were going to steal your dad away from her. Yes, she's that screwed up.
The best way to deal with this is to stop indulging it. Modern society is like an engine for encouraging BPD. A psychologist once said, "you don't treat borderlines, you ignore them." And ladies, get therapy, ACTUAL therapy, not some BS talk session with a quack who reaffirms your worst instincts.
