HOLY CRAP i am still alive....... i waited until the day before i was going to be evicted to kill my self... i was going to kill my self monday night and the eviction was supposed to happen tuesday morning........
over the weekend i was already getting scared but figured i could still kill my self.. but then monday morning when i woke up i got SUPER TERRIFIED..... i was fully panicking and realized i do NOT want to do this at all.. which is really weird because it is a really good method; you just mix 2 things together and you are instantly dead and it is pretty painless and instant.. but for some reason i was SUPER SCARED.... my SI (survival instinct) was kicking in so hard.... reaching SI levels that shouldn't even be possible..
so but then i was like, how the fuck do i cancel eviction?!?.. i wasn't even sure it was possible to cancel it at this point...... grok told me the landlord can usually cancel the eviction but that they usually want all money due paid first.. So i text-messaged the manager landlord dude.. i gave him some elaborate story to make it sound like nothing was really my fault.. he told me that he could cancel it if i paid all the money due (just like grok said)..
well, the due amount included last month's rent, this month's rent, late fees, and a $200 charge for the landlord company having to file a court eviction against me.... the total was a little over $900.... but the next problem was i blew all of the money i had on food and stuff because i wasn't expecting to be alive any more.....
i called my rich uncle and told him it is an emergency and that i did some thing very stupid and i have to pay $900+ dollars to prevent me from being evicted tomorrow.... so he told me to come to his office..... i drove there and then he yapped at me for an hour about how i need to get my life on track and stop being a poor hobo (he's right).. and then after that we got in to his vehicle and drove to his bank and he withdrew $1000 and gave it to me.. then i drove my vehicle to my credit union and deposited it and rushed home and paid the rent (online) and then messaged the landlord manager that it was paid... he said okay he cancelled the eviction..
i started crying because i couldn't believe every thing worked out at the last motherfucking minute..... i dodged a bullet...... there were so many unknowns that i wasn't sure were going to work out..... i wasn't sure if eviction could even be cancelled, i wasn't sure the manager guy would believe my elaborate story, i wasn't sure my uncle was going to be available (he is always super busy with his business), i wasn't sure if he was even going to help me, and i wasn't sure i was going to be able to do it all in time...... if even one of those things didn't work out i was going to be homeless and would have ended up killing my self and i wouldn't be here right now..
actually i was so terrified of killing my self that i actually started to contemplate if being homeless would be better than having to kill my self.. and i'm actually not scared of being dead; i have strong beliefs of spirit world and lots of crazy stuff, so i know i'll be fine once i'm actually dead, but for some reason actually doing the killing of my self is beyond terrifying and i realized i am NOT ready to kill my self at all..... and i feel like i want to live for many more years now..
i want to really try to get my life on track now.. i've tried some various things before but i was kind of halfassing it, but i feel like some thing changed in me now from going through all that traumatic stuff.... i feel like i have PTSD a little.. and so i am going to actually try to do big things with my life now some how, and i'm going to finally learn to manage my motherfucking money for once in my life and actually have savings instead of finding ways to blow my money on stuff any time i have any extra money..
i am ridiculously lucky to have a rich uncle in the family..... most people don't have a rich uncle that just gives them $1000 on the same day you need it.. and this actually isn't the first time he has saved my life (he saved my life an other time a few years ago when a literal kike sabotaged my car and i needed $4000 to have every thing he fucked up fixed again, and that same uncle paid for it all; by the way, if uncle wouldn't have ended up paying for that $4000 to fix my car then i was literally planning on making sure that literal kike was not going to be on this earth any more, and i wasn't going to be either, because i'm not going to prison; don't fucking sabotage my car and expect to keep living, and don't ever trust kikes; yes i know i am retarded to have trusted a kike and stupidly thought "oh maybe this is one of the rare good kikes", lol, i was very wrong)..
any way, i am back and i want to try to get every aspect of my life in good shape.. i am going to try my damnedest to do what ever it takes to stop being a hobo my whole life..
thanks for reading all of my yap and this was not an easy lesson to learn.. i love you guys and even though i don't post tons of stuff all the time i do check a lot of news on the fediverse every day so i appreciate being able to have an account on here..
