Linux Is Best on Nostr: It is hard for me to accept that people may sometimes want to help selflessly. I’ve ...

It is hard for me to accept that people may sometimes want to help selflessly.

I’ve grown so accustomed to false platitudes, transactional individuals, and hidden agendas that it almost makes me feel uneasy when someone offers to do something good — simply because they can.

For example, I have an aunt on my biological father’s side who would always offer to give me rides. She would insist on it, and I would nearly always decline, saying I could find my own way — but I appreciated the offer. Then there was one time I actually needed a ride. I had spent several hours helping her in the yard, from early afternoon until sometime after dark. I was tired, cold, and truly in need of a ride. She had told me earlier that day to let her know if I needed one. But when I did, she reacted as if I had asked for something outrageous. She got upset. Later, she even argued that I was inconveniencing her because she wanted to help out at her church — something I hadn’t known she had planned.

But I digress. I’ve become used to people giving false kindness, operating transactionally, or having an ulterior motive. Unfortunately, that often means people will offer help when I need nothing, but are conveniently unavailable when I actually do. This is why I’ve learned to be as independent and self-sufficient as possible — when I can manage it.

But as I said, it's why I can sometimes feel uneasy when someone genuinely wants to do good without expecting anything in return. It's a trait I possess myself, but one I seldom see in others — and even when I think I do, I'm always left a little unsure.