I just got a “what do you want for your birthday?” call from my mother wherein she firstly didn’t listen to me very well when I tried to answer, and then proceeded to yell and curse about all the horrible things in her life- all the injustice the universe has meted out on her- for HALF AN HOUR, and I basically froze. I wanted to say “You can’t call me and yell,” but I couldn’t. 1/2 of me was panicked and the other half of me was resigned, because she obviously paid no attention the other times I have mustered the strength to push back or to hang up, and what’s the use?
It stressed me the fuck out and when she finally deigned to end the call after saying goodbye three times over 10 minutes, I was just, I dunno, defeated. Depressed. I drove to pick up some burgers to go, and all the joy had just been sucked out of me, and I spent the whole drive ruminating how her treating me like that all my life has really fucked me up to the point of costing me so many opportunities, and so many poor choices, and goddammit the 12 steps say we’re not going to regret the past but fuck that’s a tall order at 64 years old.
I’m closer to no contact than I’ve ever been, but I’m held back… because of fear? Guilt that I can’t do that to an 83-year-old?
Fuck this. I need my heart rate down, I need a nice weekend, I want to call my kid, because they know of which I speak. I think I’ll just disappear into my book. Bleh.
Chris “Chris” Vreeland
npub126…69n90
2026-10-23 01:40:50 UTC
Author Public Key
npub126px4ywmk9c0tuelnx3f7tzd994f9xaucxuwve03rfq8n96n2was869n90Seen on
wss://relay.momostr.pinkPublished at
2026-10-23 01:40:50 UTCEvent JSON
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"content": "I just got a “what do you want for your birthday?” call from my mother wherein she firstly didn’t listen to me very well when I tried to answer, and then proceeded to yell and curse about all the horrible things in her life- all the injustice the universe has meted out on her- for HALF AN HOUR, and I basically froze. I wanted to say “You can’t call me and yell,” but I couldn’t. 1/2 of me was panicked and the other half of me was resigned, because she obviously paid no attention the other times I have mustered the strength to push back or to hang up, and what’s the use? \n\nIt stressed me the fuck out and when she finally deigned to end the call after saying goodbye three times over 10 minutes, I was just, I dunno, defeated. Depressed. I drove to pick up some burgers to go, and all the joy had just been sucked out of me, and I spent the whole drive ruminating how her treating me like that all my life has really fucked me up to the point of costing me so many opportunities, and so many poor choices, and goddammit the 12 steps say we’re not going to regret the past but fuck that’s a tall order at 64 years old. \n\nI’m closer to no contact than I’ve ever been, but I’m held back… because of fear? Guilt that I can’t do that to an 83-year-old?\n\nFuck this. I need my heart rate down, I need a nice weekend, I want to call my kid, because they know of which I speak. I think I’ll just disappear into my book. Bleh.",
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