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There are no 'hard and fast' rules for selfcare.
We are individuals, and we should/must be seen as such. We are not 'one size fits all' because of our uniqueness.
Celebrate your uniqueness, and celebrate any area where you overlap with others, if that overlap is a comfortable one.
We are not obliged to be anything other than ourselves and yet, according to societal norms, we are supposed to be something that fits the diaphanous norms of the flock! (To which I say Baa-aa-aa-aa!)