>playing Hoyoverse games
>notice a curious pattern
>every game gets Fantasy China and Fantasy Japan
>Fantasy China is an ancient civilization of wisdom, prosperity, competent leaders, and unfathomable power
>Fantasy Japan is written by a Chinese nationalist who has been instructed by HR to remain professional
>
>look at Genshin
>Liyue is a wealthy, harmonious society founded on divine contracts and millennia of philosophical tradition
>its god is a 6,000-year-old gigachad who could beat most of the continent to death with a mountain
>its leaders are brilliant merchants and immortal sages
>even the accountants are hot
>the entire nation is basically a Confucian LinkedIn success story
>every public servant has a tragic backstory explaining why they're so qualified
>
>meanwhile Inazuma
>isolationist authoritarian police state
>civil war
>economy in shambles
>its aristocratic clans spend more time betraying one another than governing
>even the weather is attempting to kill you
>government literally arrests people for having ambitions
>its god is a depressed NEET who outsourced governance to a homicidal robot and locked herself in her bedroom for 500 years
>you can practically hear the Chinese writers laughing
>"AND THEN WE MAKE THE JAPANESE GOVERNMENT CONFISCATE PEOPLE'S DREAMS!"
>"HAHAHAHA WRITE THAT DOWN"
>
>marketing department enters
>"Just a reminder, guys, we still need to sell Japanese character banners."
>audible sound of chopsticks snapping
>
>writers begrudgingly create Yae Miko
>manipulative fox woman who's supposed to be an insufferable schemer
>unfortunately she's the only person in the archipelago with a functioning brain
>accidentally becomes insanely likable
>the writers tried to make her a smug menace
>accidentally invented the one adult in a nation governed by emotionally unstable immortals
>also forced to humanize the authoritarian robot
>give her trauma, a redemption arc, and an adorable weakness for sweets
>marketing: "The banners will print money!"
>writers: "This is not what we intended."
>
>fast-forward to Honkai: Star Rail
>Fantasy China is now the Xianzhou Alliance
>ancient interstellar civilization of immortal warriors, magnificent fleets, and strategic geniuses
>their generals play 9D chess against cosmic threats
>Chinese historical epic IN SPACE
>the ships are basically flying palaces stuffed with poets, bureaucrats, and people who can bisect a battleship
>
>writers hold an emergency meeting
>"Gentlemen, what if this time we simply don't HAVE a Space Japan?"
>"Elaborate."
>"We establish that Space Japan existed. We describe its glorious samurai civilization. Then we fucking annihilate it before the game even starts."
>standing ovation
>
>invent Izumo
>ancient civilization fights a nightmarish war against supernatural horrors
>fashions god-killing swords from the corpses of fallen deities
>every time they invent a new sword, the situation gets worse
>local history reads like a failure cascade with impeccable art direction
>everything gets progressively worse
>entire civilization erased from existence
>not occupied
>not conquered
>ERASED
>
>writers celebrate
>can't be forced to make sympathetic Japanese characters if there are no Japanese characters
>checkmate marketing
>head writer submits the script, certain he has finally defeated monetization
>
>marketing department enters
>"We need a purple-haired samurai waifu for the next banner."
>"WE DESTROYED SPACE JAPAN."
>"Okay, make her a survivor."
>"THERE ARE NO SURVIVORS."
>"Then make her the only survivor. That's an excellent character hook."
>
>collective aneurysm
>now they have to explain how one woman survived the complete destruction of her civilization
>can't just make her a random swordswoman
>she lived through a war against literal gods
>therefore she has to be unimaginably powerful
>give her a sword that can cut reality itself
>make her an Emanator of Nihility
>introduce Acheron, a walking cosmic catastrophe with a katana
>one of the strongest characters in the setting
>entire existence is a philosophical meditation on oblivion
>also a ridiculously marketable purple-haired sword waifu
>
>marketing: "PERFECT."
>writers: "SHE REPRESENTS THE TOTAL ANNIHILATION OF AN ENTIRE CIVILIZATION."
>marketing: "And she has a fantastic silhouette!"
>"HER EXISTENCE IS A TESTAMENT TO THE INEVITABILITY OF DEATH."
>"Can we give her a cool ultimate animation?"
>
>mfw trying to avoid writing a likable Japanese civilization accidentally created the ultimate Japanese power fantasy
>mfw their act of fictional geopolitical spite produced a samurai woman who can cut spacetime in half
>mfw the banner prints money
>
>somewhere in Hoyoverse HQ, a writer stares silently at Acheron's sales projections
>"Next time we're destroying the metaphysical concept of Japan itself."
>marketing: "Great. Could we have two survivors?"
