NixOS made me lose my wife
I thought it was just installing a Linux distro. "Try NixOS," they said. "It’s not just an OS, it’s a way of life." Even my wife was supportive: "Didn't you say you wanted more control over your system?" That was the last time she looked at me with hope.
I didn’t choose Ubuntu or Fedora like a sane person. No, I chose NixOS — as if I wanted to watch my marriage collapse in real-time. The first day, I spent 12 hours writing a configuration.nix just to get Wi-Fi working. When my wife brought dinner, I waved her off: "I’m just setting up a declarative Bluetooth module, it’ll only take a minute..."
She asked if we could go hiking over the weekend. "Sure," I said, "right after I finish setting up home-manager and figuring out why my shell isn't reproducible." That was three weeks ago.
She tried everything to pull me out. "Let’s go for a coffee," she said. "Sorry, I’m debugging why my system rebuild keeps pulling a different glibc version." "Maybe just watch a movie together?" "Good idea! First I need to package mpv myself, I don't trust the default derivation..."
Then came the final blow: One night, she found me at 3 a.m., half-naked, whispering into the void: "If I can just get this flake to build... I can declare our entire marriage in a flake.nix..."
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2025-05-01 09:23:49 UTC
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wss://relay.momostr.pinkPublished at
2025-05-01 09:23:49 UTCEvent JSON
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"content": "NixOS made me lose my wife\n\nI thought it was just installing a Linux distro. \"Try NixOS,\" they said. \"It’s not just an OS, it’s a way of life.\" Even my wife was supportive: \"Didn't you say you wanted more control over your system?\" That was the last time she looked at me with hope.\n\nI didn’t choose Ubuntu or Fedora like a sane person. No, I chose NixOS — as if I wanted to watch my marriage collapse in real-time. The first day, I spent 12 hours writing a configuration.nix just to get Wi-Fi working. When my wife brought dinner, I waved her off: \"I’m just setting up a declarative Bluetooth module, it’ll only take a minute...\"\n\nShe asked if we could go hiking over the weekend. \"Sure,\" I said, \"right after I finish setting up home-manager and figuring out why my shell isn't reproducible.\" That was three weeks ago.\n\nShe tried everything to pull me out. \"Let’s go for a coffee,\" she said. \"Sorry, I’m debugging why my system rebuild keeps pulling a different glibc version.\" \"Maybe just watch a movie together?\" \"Good idea! First I need to package mpv myself, I don't trust the default derivation...\"\n\nThen came the final blow: One night, she found me at 3 a.m., half-naked, whispering into the void: \"If I can just get this flake to build... I can declare our entire marriage in a flake.nix...\"",
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