Emmanuelle Skaly on Nostr: I feel like I don't look it maybe, I know how to hide it well or do things in spite ...

I feel like I don't look it maybe, I know how to hide it well or do things in spite of it, but I'm incredibly socially anxious. A life time of being neurodivergent, singled out, left alone, "failing" at complying with the social norms of literally every single social group I've been in across different cities schools work environments and across many different countries, all with the same result: I'm, difficult to vibe with. Difficult to understand in body language, can barely understand and naturally respond to the body language of others. And can absolutely not do behavioral or even style gender norms. Maybe I'm not just anxious but I'm, aware, careful, trying to not get hurt or overwhelmed. Sometimes it's useful even. But I wish I didn't go to sleep arguing with people in my head, repeating and fixing moments in which I may have been misunderstood, overthinking, inevitably spending precious time and attention on social anxiety. Funny how I can be seen as outgoing, extraverted and confident when I'm just a little bean who works hard with and against theirself to make sense to, and out of, this world and societies. It's hard and confusing and stressful but I'm happy.

That's for today's over share.
Yours,
Emmanuelle

#handmade #art #arts #socialanxiety #anxiety #mentalhealth