that moment when you realize that your eyes are leaking... And you're reminded of the night you spent two weeks ago... Where you were in physical pain. And slowly realizing that your biggest love is struggling so hard that it hurts you deep inside... Two weeks ago, I was struggling with the trauma of the dislocated hip and the surgery that followed.
While I could not sleep, I noticed Arwen's discomfort growing. I saw the sadness in her eyes. I cried most of the night, knowing that our journey was coming to an end. Knowing I had to keep my promise to her.
I can't believe that in about 10 hours from now, it's been two weeks since my gall passed away with my mum and me at her side.
I'm blessed during this night, as Bas is lying against my legs, sharing his calming energy with me. 💜
These last three weeks have been hard. And so painful. But I've also felt so loved. I've also been so grateful...
I got to spend almost 12 years with this wonderful soul. The last almost 7 years of it, it was just her and me against the world. We made it through the darkest times. We made good memories during the better times.
They say that the first few weeks are usually the hardest. I hope it will become less painful with time. I'll never miss her less, but maybe the memories may bring me a smile instead of all these tears, as time passes by...
I've felt grateful to Arwen for allowing me to be her soulmate.
I've felt (and still feel) grateful for all the help from everyone here, making sure that I could bring Arwen home again.
I'm grateful for my mum being with me, helping me, and for her bringing Bas along every now and then for some loving snuggles.
And I'm grateful for two sweet friends, who changed their plans at the last minute, so they can come to me this Saturday, to help me with "Arwen's shelf".
Writing all this down has helped me to calm down again. I'll share an older snap of Arwen. I may have shared it before... I can't remember. Hopefully Altbot (npub12dn…0hjt) can help me, as I want to add Alt text, but I don't want to get too emotional again.
missing you every day, you were my bestest friend #RIPArwen
