kasdeya on Nostr: "Looks like you're adapting incredibly quickly to entoptics and to my avatar. There's ...

"Looks like you're adapting incredibly quickly to entoptics and to my avatar. There's just one more thing and then I think you'll be ready for life on the station." Afi beams. "We're going to make you a friend!"

I'm getting increasingly used to not knowing what Afi is talking about, but I let her continue.

"I decided early on that I'm not going to let a refugee leave this lab until they each have a muse. Unless they refuse or something... but I really hope they don't. It's going to make everything so much easier - especially getting used to your new morph! I don't want to give you decision fatigue so I'd recommend that we just decide on personality for now, and you can configure-"

"What's a muse?" This sounds important. I'm not going to let Afi activate anything else unless I know exactly what's going to happen.

Afi is suddenly shy again. They fidget with their fingers and their avatar shoots out animated droplets from their head. I make a mental note that droplets indicate anxiety. "U-um! Right - I'm sorry. I guess the idea of... you wouldn't have had..." I give her a moment to breathe and collect her thoughts.

"A muse is like... a helper... that lives in your head. And their whole job is to make life easier. They learn what you want and like and they can do things for you if you ask." She gives me an anxious look. "Does that make sense?"

"You're saying that a person would live in my mind with me? They would see everything that I do - maybe even everything that I think?"

Afi is shooting out droplets even faster now, making a placating gesture frantically. "Nono! I mean... kind of... I promise it's not as bad as it sounds! It's going to be really really helpful... and... they're really nice... and cute... and..." Afi looks almost defeated. They take a deep breath and try again.

"A muse isn't what you would call a person. It's not a sophont either." The distinction between 'sophont' and 'person' is lost on me, but 'not a person' makes sense, so I let them continue. "It's... a computer program. And its entire personality exists to help you. Helping you is the whole of its existence. It can see your thoughts if you let it - which will make it *much* better at helping you. But if that's too much then you can even stop it from seeing what you do unless you allow it to. But it's never going to betray you or share your secrets with anyone. I want to give you a muse based on software that I made myself, so I can promise that you won't ever regret anything that you share with it."

That was a lot to take in. Did Afi really think that I would immediately agree to having some non-person thing put inside of my mind? Despite myself, and despite the fact that I've barely met Afi, I do trust them. But how could I ever trust a "muse"? It sounds like it's closer to a machine than a human - or maybe closer to an animal. Then again, Afi is a confusing mix of all three, and has shown me more kindness than I could ever expect from a human.

Afi speaks up, still fidgeting with their fingers. "Um... how about... we make a muse together, and we can talk to it together. But then we turn it off, and you can turn it on only when you want to talk to it again. Does that sound good?"

"... I choose when it turns on and off, right?"

"Of course!"

To my own disbelief, I say: "Okay.... let's try it."

Afi asks me a lot of questions, trying to determine the perfect personality and appearance for my muse. They clearly want to make sure that it won't seem threatening or intrusive to me, and I can't help feeling that they missed the point of my discomfort with the idea. Eventually they conclude "Something respectful, clearly not person-like, non-threatening... Oh! I know the perfect preset!"

Several panels appear and disappear in front of their face. Afi seems able to manipulate them without moving her body at all, though her animated eyes flick around inhumanly quickly to track things as they move and change. Finally, I feel a stream of text being sent to me from Afi:

```
Message from Afi Serwaa:

okay - let's try it out!

attached:
exomod::muse::afimuse4.74.10/i.67
attachment metadata:
good signature from Afi Serwaa
note: lightly tweaked from preset 12

install and run?
```

Somehow I can sense that the final line of text is a question meant for me to answer. I'm about to say "yes" out loud but it must have sensed my intent because it's already installing.

Moments later, another avatar appears in the room with us. Her skin is pure white and she's dressed like a child's doll from old Earth: A frilly, impractical dress that nearly drags along the ground. She has a fixed, placid expression painted on her face, which I realize - like the rest of her skin - is made of porcelain. She looks completely real - like a physical object in this room. And yet I can also see the empty part of the room that she inhabits. She is both there and not there - I can see both realities simultaneously.

The porcelain doll-thing bows respectfully, and its fixed expression animates as it says "This one is pleased to meet its owner. It hopes it can be of use whenever it might be needed."

I realize, self-consciously, that Afi is searching my expression - trying to gauge my reaction. I feel a roiling mix of emotions - too strong and too tumultuous to understand.

"Is it too submissive?" Afi asks. I don't reply.

The doll-thing vanishes, and in its place is a floating blue orb. "Hello, user. I am-"

"Wait! Bring the doll back!" I say in a sudden panic.

A pause. The orb disappears, and the doll returns. Afi says nothing, searching my expression anxiously.

I slowly approach the doll, which is standing perfectly still - not even breathing - and stroke its cheek. I can both feel and not feel the smooth, cold hardness of its porcelain. I can also feel tears running down my nonexistent cheeks. I don't understand what I'm feeling or why, but I care deeply for this thing, and I need to protect it.

"This one. This will be my muse."

Afi pauses for a long moment. "Okay.", she says quietly.