Hoss "Sneed (Formerly Chuck)” Delgado on Nostr: >be me >average enterprise technology enjoyer >“Senior Workflow Enablement ...

>be me
>average enterprise technology enjoyer
>“Senior Workflow Enablement Associate”
>nobody knows what that means
>actual job is copying numbers between websites
>arrive 8:57
>Windows installs “critical organizational updates”
>restart
>BitLocker recovery screen
>contact IT through Helpster
>Helpster says support moved to Tyckie
>Tyckie requires Signaroo
>Signaroo pings old phone surrendered during Moblify migration
>Moblify recovery request must be filed through Helpster
>laptop is locked
>walk to IT desk
>desk removed during “digital-first workplace optimization”
>QR code taped to empty chair
>opens Helpster
>9:51
>somehow get in
>47 notifications across Teamstr, Chattr, Slakk, WorkPop, Skedaddle, SynergizeIt, Outlook
>one is from an actual human
>manager posts priorities in Teamstr
>link redirects to Skedaddle
>Skedaddle says priorities moved to Tyckie Agile Alignment Board
>board contains one card:
>“Review priorities in Teamstr.”
>daily stand-up in Meetly
>invite in Outlook
>agenda in Teamstr
>docs in Boxx
>notes in Scribbly
>actions in Tyckie
>attendance in Presenz
>camera compliance in FaceUp
>manager shares wrong screen for ten minutes
>director asks why nobody updated the quarterly velocity orb
>new hire asks what that is
>director promises a learning module
>Meetly AI summary:
>“The team discussed synergies, timelines, and next steps.”
>$380,000 enterprise contract well spent
>finally start work
>need figures from Databrickr
>exports disabled
>request access through Permish
>requires manager approval through Thumbsy
>manager only checks Chattr
>Chattr says requests belong in Teamstr
>Teamstr says approvals belong in Thumbsy
>Thumbsy sends manager a Chattr notification
>modern technology
>11:30
>mandatory Learnle course:
>“Recognizing Digital Fatigue”
>pauses if I switch tabs
>presenter explains reducing unnecessary software
>embedded StreamBeam player crashes
>Learnle marks course incomplete
>Tyckie opens compliance incident
>lunch
>cafeteria now requires ChowNowr
>ChowNowr needs ID from Peoplr
>Peoplr is down
>buy vending machine pretzels
>machine asks me to download SnackPassion
>1:00
>urgent Skedaddle ping
>Skedaddle Classic shutting down at 1:30
>migration guide hosted in Skedaddle Classic
>404
>coworker asks where last month’s report is
>tell him SharePoint
>which SharePoint
>old, new, department, or portal linking the others
>search “final report”
>2,814 results
>top hit:
>FINAL_REPORT_v7_REALFINAL_USETHIS_ONE(Recovered).xlsx
>last modified 2019
>eventually find correct file
>Excel says locked for editing by me
>I am not editing it
>cloud version of me is
>2:15
>director announces platform consolidation
>OmniDesk360 will unify Teamstr, Tyckie, Skedaddle, Chattr, WorkPop, Boxx, Scribbly, Permish, Thumbsy, and Peoplr
>requires every app open in its own tab
>OmniDesk360 only works in Edge
>company browser is Chrome
>Edge extensions require Permish approval
>2:42
>computer fan becomes leaf blower
>48 GB RAM used
>Task Manager shows seven Chromium processes named “Helper”
>close one
>entire corporate ecosystem collapses
>reopen everything
>Signaroo flags “unusual pattern of repeated logins”
>3:30
>manager asks for status
>explain I spent six hours trying to access the figures
>says blockers should have been raised at stand-up
>I did
>AI summary omitted it
>therefore it did not happen
>manager creates Tyckie task:
>“Improve proactive communication around blockers”
>4:12
>receive Databrickr export access
>valid fifteen minutes
>download CSV
>Numerly only accepts XLSX
>Convertaroo refuses because file contains sensitive company information
>security working as intended
>4:43
>manually copy 186 rows
>click Submit
>session expired
>all data lost
>5:01
>Chattr marks me Away
>manager instantly asks if I’m online
>has “one quick thing”
>migrate department Tyckie boards to Skedaddle Now before midnight
>ask if OmniDesk360 handles that
>manager reacts thumbs-up
>goes offline
>stay until 8:30
>finish migration
>earn “Workflow Wizard” badge
>auto-posted to Teamstr
>VP comments:
>“Love seeing this level of ownership!”
>next morning receive email
>Skedaddle Now discontinued
>company moving to Doink
>mandatory Doink onboarding at 9
>invite hosted in Meetly
>link opens Zoom