For anyone else experiencing this, look up "revenge bedtime procrastination."
It's definitely something I experience now and then. Talking to my wife about it has helped, for sure. We've been able to figure out how to make sure I'm not ignoring my own need for time for myself, but sometimes there really isn't any time for it for some extended period of time and the compulsion builds up again.
Something for other people to consider, though - the kind of people who are denying their own needs in order to take care of the needs and wants of the people around them will also likely have a lot of shame around the idea that they need to carve time out for themselves. That makes it hard to admit to themselves, much less talk to someone else about.
Personally, a lot of my self-worth has been wrapped up in my ability and capacity to do things for people and there was a *lot* to unpack before I could feel comfortable talking to my partner about it. That isn't a trivial thing to overcome.
Jargoggles
npub1f7…tfh8q
2025-12-21 15:39:38 UTC
in reply to nevent1q…8qqk
Author Public Key
npub1f78kqukxyxh9l2ng490ychx74225zkuwdrymqslnyshgyqrfjhzsqtfh8qSeen on
wss://relay.momostr.pinkPublished at
2025-12-21 15:39:38 UTCEvent JSON
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"content": "For anyone else experiencing this, look up \"revenge bedtime procrastination.\"\n\nIt's definitely something I experience now and then. Talking to my wife about it has helped, for sure. We've been able to figure out how to make sure I'm not ignoring my own need for time for myself, but sometimes there really isn't any time for it for some extended period of time and the compulsion builds up again. \n\nSomething for other people to consider, though - the kind of people who are denying their own needs in order to take care of the needs and wants of the people around them will also likely have a lot of shame around the idea that they need to carve time out for themselves. That makes it hard to admit to themselves, much less talk to someone else about.\n\nPersonally, a lot of my self-worth has been wrapped up in my ability and capacity to do things for people and there was a *lot* to unpack before I could feel comfortable talking to my partner about it. That isn't a trivial thing to overcome.",
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