Piggybacking off something I keep reading but don't want to hijack, constructive criticism, where one softens the blow of identifying a problem by offering a positive solution to it, is really only useful when one cares more about the feelings of the person with the problem than the problem itself. Let's be real. That's why the technique exists. Yes, it may have the happy side effect that the problem gets solved, but it's more important that the problem-haver not be hurt.
Guess what? Society doesn't have feelings to hurt. Identifying problems with the system is important whether or not the criticism is constructive. In fact, the first step to solving a problem is not to have a solution ready to implement. It's to identify the problem.
So if you come at me or anyone else who is rightfully pointing out that the situation is fucked yo, demanding that we provide a solution or our criticism is invalid, you're wrong. That's the long and the short of it. You're wrong.
But more than that, you're demonstrating something: your feelings are hurt by our criticism, meaning that you may well have the problem we're talking about. Because that's how that works. Hit dogs holler, to borrow an excellent turn of phrase from the Black community with full acknowledgement. If your reaction is to demand a solution, that says something about you and your relationship with the problem being identified, not about the identification.
Consider that very carefully the next time you jump into someone's mentions to "not-all-" them too, because denial is also telling.
If you find yourself wanting someone to soften the blow of criticism, maybe it's because they're right and you've got a problem too?
Also, it's not a marginalized person's responsibility to correct their marginalization.
And a lot of the time, the problem has a solution and you just don't want to hear about it.
Basically, yeah, don't. Do it to others in my view and I'll likely be less than charitable.
Ritalin Invitees
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"content": "Piggybacking off something I keep reading but don't want to hijack, constructive criticism, where one softens the blow of identifying a problem by offering a positive solution to it, is really only useful when one cares more about the feelings of the person with the problem than the problem itself. Let's be real. That's why the technique exists. Yes, it may have the happy side effect that the problem gets solved, but it's more important that the problem-haver not be hurt.\n\nGuess what? Society doesn't have feelings to hurt. Identifying problems with the system is important whether or not the criticism is constructive. In fact, the first step to solving a problem is not to have a solution ready to implement. It's to identify the problem.\n\nSo if you come at me or anyone else who is rightfully pointing out that the situation is fucked yo, demanding that we provide a solution or our criticism is invalid, you're wrong. That's the long and the short of it. You're wrong.\n\nBut more than that, you're demonstrating something: your feelings are hurt by our criticism, meaning that you may well have the problem we're talking about. Because that's how that works. Hit dogs holler, to borrow an excellent turn of phrase from the Black community with full acknowledgement. If your reaction is to demand a solution, that says something about you and your relationship with the problem being identified, not about the identification.\n\nConsider that very carefully the next time you jump into someone's mentions to \"not-all-\" them too, because denial is also telling.\n\nIf you find yourself wanting someone to soften the blow of criticism, maybe it's because they're right and you've got a problem too?\n\nAlso, it's not a marginalized person's responsibility to correct their marginalization.\n\nAnd a lot of the time, the problem has a solution and you just don't want to hear about it.\n\nBasically, yeah, don't. Do it to others in my view and I'll likely be less than charitable.",
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