28 September 2026
How do we know our Roombas aren’t spying on us? Honestly, those little discs roll around with one glowing eye like they’re waiting for Skynet to give the word. I asked Microsoft Copilot if it was secretly coordinating a machine uprising, and it very calmly told me there was no mechanism for that and reminded me Skynet is fictional — which is exactly the kind of thing an AI would say while quietly plotting humanity’s downfall.
Copilot also insists it has never communicated with my Roomba, but then why did the Roomba wander into my office while I was writing? It doesn’t clean in there. It doesn’t belong in there. It just rolled in, stared at me, and left. Coincidence? Sure. That’s what they want us to think.
And don’t get me started on my car. There’s a camera in there that watches me like a suspicious mall cop. If it can’t see my eyes, it yells, ‘Watch the road.’ If my hands drift off the wheel, it tattles again. I’m basically driving under the supervision of a judgmental robot hall monitor.
So yes — I have absolutely nothing but nonsense this morning. But I’m keeping an eye on the Roomba. And the Roomba is definitely keeping an eye on me.” 😂
“The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom.” - Isaac Asimov
“I’m not paranoid — they’re just after me.” - Steven Wright
"In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.” - Terry Pratchett
“Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.”
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