John Ʌ Konrad V
@johnkonrad
In 1993, when I was 16, I landed my first yacht delivery job: sailing a magnificent yacht from New York City to an exclusive yacht club on Long Island Sound.
There was just one problem. We were teenagers, and we were terrified the marina manager or police would stop us before we even left the dock.
[...]
Perfect getaway.
It was a glorious day on the water. Blue skies, fair winds, not a care in the world.
Until we approached the East River.
That’s when tiny kittens started crawling out of a deck box.
[...]
Picture three teenage boys walking toward this grand clubhouse in borrowed penny loafers, navy blazers and slicked-back hair, carrying a box of kittens.
That’s when we realized the party was a wedding.
And that’s when one of my buddies looked up at the veranda, which was packed with beautiful women in their twenties, and shouted:
“ANYONE WANT A KITTEN?”
I have never witnessed anything like what happened next.
An honest-to-god stampede.
Women came pouring off the veranda, practically trampling one another to get their hands on a kitten.
Suddenly, three awkward teenage boys were THE most popular men at the wedding.
So when my mother heard a strange woman calling her house and flirtatiously asking for John Konrad, she assumed it was another woman who’d seen my father [NYFD John Konrad IV] on America’s Bravest Sunday night special or something.
Her voice dropped about three octaves.
“WHICH John?”
The woman of my dreams hesitated.
“Excuse me?”
“There are TWO John Konrads in this house. Which one do you want?”
[...]
https://x.com/johnkonrad/status/2115075802865758218