The worst perpetrators are people who are supposed to be safe. That's the worst part. I simply can't commiserate with people who would otherwise be able to understand me because I don't know if they are an anti trans weirdo or not. I feel very very uncomfortable going up to an older woman because it's like a gamble. "Is she a MAGA fascist, a shitlib terf, or is she a safe person?"
Even many of the people who say "I support trans people" end up not being a safe person to talk to that I can trust.